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 is so; for it hurts nobody but themselves。  This sort of lying is the spurious offspring of vanity; begotten upon folly: these people deal in the marvelous; they have seen some things that never existed; they have seen other things which they never really saw; though they did exist; only because they were thought worth seeing。  Has anything remarkable been said or done in any place; or in any company? they immediately present and declare themselves eye or ear witnesses of it。  They have done feats themselves; unattempted; or at least unperformed by others。  They are always the heroes of their own fables; and think that they gain consideration; or at least present attention; by it。  Whereas; in truth; all that they get is ridicule and contempt; not without a good degree of distrust; for one must naturally conclude; that he who will tell any lie from idle vanity; will not scruple telling a greater for interest。  Had I really seen anything so very extraordinary as to be almost incredible I would keep it to myself; rather than by telling it give anybody room to doubt; for one minute; of my veracity。  It is most certain; that the reputation of chastity is not so necessary for a women; as that of veracity is for a man; and with reason; for it is possible for a woman to be virtuous; though not strictly chaste; but it is not possible for a man to be virtuous without strict veracity。  The slips of the poor women are sometimes mere bodily frailties; but a lie in a man is a vice of the mind and of the heart。 For God's sake be scrupulously jealous of the purity of your moral character; keep it immaculate; unblemished; unsullied; and it will be unsuspected。  Defamation and calumny never attack; where there is no weak place; they magnify; but they do not create。

There is a very great difference between the purity of character; which I so earnestly recommend to you; and the stoical gravity and austerity of character; which I do by no means recommend to you。  At your; age; I would no more wish you to be a Cato than a Clodius。  Be; and be reckoned; a man of pleasure as well as a man of business。  Enjoy this happy and giddy time of your life; shine in the pleasures; and in the company of people of your own age。  This is all to be done; and indeed only can be done; without the least taint to the purity of your moral character; for those mistaken young fellows; who think to shine by an impious or immoral licentiousness; shine only from their stinking; like corrupted flesh; in the dark。  Without this purity; you can have no dignity of character; and without dignity of character it is impossible to rise in the world。  You must be respectable; if you will be respected。 I have known people slattern away their character; without really polluting it; the consequence of which has been; that they have become innocently contemptible; their merit has been dimmed; their pretensions unregarded; and all their views defeated。  Character must be kept bright; as well as clean。  Content yourself with mediocrity in nothing。  In purity of character and in politeness of manners labor to excel all; if you wish to equal many。  Adieu。




LETTER CI

LONDON; January 11; O。 S。  1750

MY DEAR FRIEND: Yesterday I received a letter from Mr。 Harte; of the 31st December; N。 S。; which I will answer soon; and for which I desire you to return him my thanks now。  He tells me two things that give me great satisfaction: one is that there are very few English at Rome; the other is; that you frequent the best foreign companies。  This last is a very good symptom; for a man of sense is never desirous to frequent those companies; where he is not desirous to please; or where he finds that he displeases; it will not be expected in those companies; that; at your age; you should have the 'Garbo'; the 'Disinvoltura'; and the 'Leggiadria' of a man of five…and…twenty; who has been long used to keep the best companies; and therefore do not be discouraged; and think yourself either slighted or laughed at; because you see others; older and more used to the world; easier; more familiar; and consequently rather better received in those companies than yourself。  In time your turn will come; and if you do but show an inclination; a desire to please; though you should be embarrassed or even err in the means; which must necessarily happen to you at first; yet the will (to use a vulgar expression) will be taken for the deed; and people; instead of laughing at you; will be glad to instruct you。  Good sense can only give you the great outlines of good…breeding; but observation and usage can alone give you the delicate touches; and the fine coloring。  You will naturally endeavor to show the utmost respect to people of certain ranks and characters; and consequently you will show it; but the proper; the delicate manner of showing that respect; nothing but observation and time can give。

I remember that when; with all the awkwardness and rust of Cambridge about me; I was first introduced into good company; I was frightened out of my wits。  I was determined to be; what I thought; civil; I made fine low bows; and placed myself below everybody; but when I was spoken to; or attempted to speak myself; 'obstupui; steteruntque comae; et vox faucibus haesit'。  If I saw people whisper; I was sure it was at me; and I thought myself the sole object of either the ridicule or the censure of the whole company; who; God knows; did not trouble their heads about me。 In this way I suffered; for some time; like a criminal at the bar; and should certainly have renounced all polite company forever; if I had not been so convinced of the absolute necessity of forming my manners upon those of the best companies; that I determined to persevere and suffer anything; or everything; rather than not compass that point。  Insensibly it grew easier to me; and I began not to bow so ridiculously low; and to answer questions without great hesitation or stammering: if; now and then; some charitable people; seeing my embarrassment; and being 'desoevre' themselves; came and spoke to me; I considered them as angels sent to comfort me; and that gave me a little courage。  I got more soon afterward; and was intrepid enough to go up to a fine woman; and tell her that I thought it a warm day; she answered me; very civilly; that she thought so too; upon which the conversation ceased; on my part; for some time; till she; good…naturedly resuming it; spoke to me thus: 〃I see your embarrassment; and I am sure that the few words you said to me cost you a great deal; but do not be discouraged for that reason; and avoid good company。  We see that you desire to please; and that is the main point; you want only the manner; and you think that you want it still more than you do。  You must go through your noviciate before you can profess good… breeding: and; if you will be my novice; I will present you my acquaintance as such。〃

You will easily imagine how much this speech pleased me; and how awkwardly I answered it; I hemmed once or twice (for it gave me a bur in my throat) before I could tell her that I was very much obliged to her; that it was true; that I had a great deal of reason to distrust my own behavior; not being used to fine company; and that I should be proud of being her novice; and receiving her instructions。

As soon as I had fumbled out this answer; she called up three or four people to her; and said: Savez…vous (for she was a foreigner; and I was abroad) que j'ai entrepris ce jeune homme; et qu'il le faut rassurer? Pour moi; je crois en avoir fait 'Do you know that I have undertaken this young man; and he must be encouraged?  As for me; I think I have made a conquest of him; for he just now ventured to tell me; although tremblingly; that it is warm。  You will assist me in polishing him。  He must necessarily have a passion for somebody; if he does not think me worthy of being the object; he will seek out some other。  However; my novice; do not disgrace yourself by frequenting opera girls and actresses; who will not require of you sentiments and politeness; but will be your ruin in every respect。  I repeat it to you; my; friend; if you should get into low; mean company; you will be undone。  Those creatures will destroy your fortune and you

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