letters to his son, 1750-第12章
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c； an inadvertency； no； keep as free from them yourself as you can： but say nothing against them in others。 They certainly mend by time； often by reason； and a man's worldly character is not affected by them； provided it be pure in all other respects。
To come now to a point of much less； but yet of very great consequence at your first setting out。 Be extremely upon your guard against vanity； the common failing of inexperienced youth； but particularly against that kind of vanity that dubs a man a coxcomb； a character which； once acquired； is more indelible than that of the priesthood。 It is not to be imagined by how many different ways vanity defeats its own purposes。 One man decides peremptorily upon every subject； betrays his ignorance upon many； and shows a disgusting presumption upon the rest。 Another desires to appear successful among the women； he hints at the encouragement he has received； from those of the most distinguished rank and beauty； and intimates a particular connection with some one； if it is true； it is ungenerous； if false； it is infamous： but in either case he destroys the reputation he wants to get。 Some flatter their vanity by little extraneous objects； which have not the least relation to themselves； such as being descended from； related to； or acquainted with； people of distinguished merit and eminent characters。 They talk perpetually of their grandfather such…a…one； their uncle such…a…one； and their intimate friend Mr。 Such…a…one； with whom； possibly； they are hardly acquainted。 But admitting it all to be as they would have it； what then？ Have they the more merit for those accidents？ Certainly not。 On the contrary； their taking up adventitious； proves their want of intrinsic merit； a rich man never borrows。 Take this rule for granted； as a never…failing one： That you must never seem to affect the character in which you have a mind to shine。 Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise。 The affectation of courage will make even a brave man pass only for a bully； as the affectation of wit will make a man of parts pass for a coxcomb。 By this modesty I do not mean timidity and awkward bashfulness。 On the contrary； be inwardly firm and steady； know your own value whatever it may be； and act upon that principle； but take great care to。 let nobody discover that you do know your own value。 Whatever real merit you have； other people will discover； and people always magnify their own discoveries； as they lessen those of others。
For God's sake； revolve all these things seriously in your thoughts； before you launch out alone into the ocean of Paris。 Recollect the observations that you have yourself made upon mankind； compare and connect them with my instructions； and then act systematically and consequentially from them； not 'au jour la journee'。 Lay your little plan now； which you will hereafter extend and improve by your own observations； and by the advice of those who can never mean to mislead you； I mean Mr。 Harte and myself。
LETTER CXIV
LONDON； May 24。； O。 S。 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND： I received yesterday your letter of the 7th； N。 S。； from Naples； to which place I find you have traveled； classically； critically； and 'da virtuoso'。 You did right； for whatever is worth seeing at； all； is worth seeing well； and better than most people see it。 It is a poor and frivolous excuse； when anything curious is talked of that one has seen； to say； I SAW IT； BUT REALLY I DID NOT MUCH MIND IT。 Why did they go to see it； if they would not mind it？ or why not mind it when they saw it？ Now that you are at Naples； you pass part of your time there 'en honnete homme； da garbato cavaliere'； in the court and the best companies。 I am told that strangers are received with the utmost hospitality at Prince …'s； 'que lui il fait bonne chere； et que Madame la Princesse donne chere entire； mais que sa chair est plus que hazardee ou mortifiee meme'； which in plain English means； that she is not only tender； but rotten。 If this be true； as I am pretty sure it is； one may say to her in a little sense； 'juvenumque prodis； publics cura'。
Mr。 Harte informs me that you are clothed in sumptuous apparel； a young fellow should be so； especially abroad； where fine clothes are so generally the fashion。 Next to their being fine； they should be well made； and worn easily for a man is only the less genteel for a fine coat； if； in wearing it； he shows a regard for it； and is not as easy in it as if it were a plain one。
I thank you for your drawing； which I am impatient to see； and which I shall hang up in a new gallery that I am building at Blackheath； and very fond of； but I am still more impatient for another copy； which I wonder I have not yet received； I mean the copy of your countenance。 I believe； were that a whole length； it would still fall a good deal short of the dimensions of the drawing after Dominichino； which you say is about eight feet high； and I take you； as well as myself； to be of the family of the Piccolomini。 Mr。 Bathurst tells me that he thinks you rather taller than I am； if so； you may very possibly get up to five feet eight inches； which I would compound for； though I would wish you five feet ten。 In truth； what do I not wish you； that has a tendency to perfection？ I say a tendency only； for absolute perfection is not in human nature； so that it would be idle to wish it。 But I am very willing to compound for your coming nearer to perfection than the generality of your contemporaries： without a compliment to you； I think you bid fair for that。 Mr。 Harte affirms （and if it were consistent with his character would； I believe； swear） that you have no vices of the heart； you have undoubtedly a stock of both ancient and modern learning； which I will venture to say nobody of your age has； and which must now daily increase； do what you will。 What； then； do you want toward that practicable degree of perfection which I wish you？ Nothing but the knowledge； the turn； and the manners of the world； I mean the 'beau monde'。 These it is impossible that you can yet have quite right； they are not given； they must be learned。 But then； on the other hand； it is impossible not to acquire them； if one has a mind to them； for they are acquired insensibly； by keeping good company； if one has but the least attention to their characters and manners。
Every man becomes； to a certain degree； what the people he generally converses with are。 He catches their air； their manners； and even their way of thinking。 If he observes with attention； he will catch them soon； but if he does not； he will at long run contract them insensibly。 I know nothing in the world but poetry that is not to be acquired by application and care。 The sum total of this is a very comfortable one for you； as it plainly amounts to this in your favor； that you now want nothing but what even your pleasures； if they are liberal ones； will teach you。 I congratulate both you and myself upon your being in such a situation； that； excepting your exercises； nothing is now wanting but pleasures to complete you。 Take them； but （as I am sure you will） with people of the first fashion； whereever you are； and the business is done； your exercises at Paris； which I am sure you will attend to； will supple and fashion your body； and the company you will keep there will； with some degree of observation on your part； soon give you their air； address； manners； in short； 'le ton de la bonne compagnie'。 Let not these considerations； however； make you vain： they are only between you and me but as they are very comfortable ones； they may justly give you a manly assurance； a firmness； a steadiness； without which a man can neither be well…bred； or in any light appear to advantage； or really what he is。 They may justly remove all； timidity； awkward bashfulness； low diffidence of one's self； and mean abject complaisance to every or anybody's opinion。 La Bruyere says； very truly； 'on ne vaut dans ce monde； que ce que l'on veut valoir'。 It is a right principle to proceed upon in the world； taking care only to guard against the appearances and outward symptoms of vanity。 Your whole then； you see； turns upon the company you keep for the future。 I have l
