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第48章

remember the alamo-第48章

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〃The poor little one!〃  Her motherly instincts crushed down
everything else。  In the child's agony she forgot her own
grief。  With glad hearts the doctor and Antonia encouraged her
in her good work; and when at length the sufferer had been
relieved and was sleeping against her breast; the Senora had
wept。  The stone from her heart had been rolled away by a
little child。  Her own selfish sorrow had been buried in a
wave of holy; unselfish maternal affection。  The key to her
nature had been found; and henceforward Isabel brought to her
every suffering baby。

On the next day they marched ten miles through a heavy rain;
and arrived at Burnett's settlement。  The women had
shelter; the men slept on the wet groundtook the prairie
without coverwith their arms in their hands。  They knew they
were in the vicinity of Santa Anna; and all were ready to
answer in an instant the three taps of the drum; which was the
only instrument of martial music in the camp; and which was
never touched but by Houston。

Another day of eighteen miles brought them to within a short
distance of Harrisburg。  Santa Anna had just been there; and
the place was in ashes。  It was evident to all; now; that the
day and the hour was at hand。  Houston first thought of the
two hundred families he had in charge; and they were quickly
taken over the bayou。  When he had seen the last one in this
comparative safety; he uttered so fervent a 〃Thank God!〃 that
the men around unconsciously repeated it。  The bayou though
narrow was twenty feet deep; and the very home of alligators。 
There was only one small bridge in the vicinity。  He intended
its destruction; and thus to make his little band and the
deep; dangerous stream a double barrier between the Mexicans
and the women and children beyond them。  It was after
this duty he wrote:

〃This morning we are in preparation to meet Santa Anna。  We
will only be about seven hundred to march; besides the camp
guard。  But we go to conquest。  The troops are in fine
spirits; and now is the time for action。  I leave the result
in the hands of an all…wise God; and I rely confidently in his
Providence。
                                  〃SAM HOUSTON。〃'5'



'5' Copy from Department of War of the Republic of Texas。



The women and children; under a competent guide; continued
their march eastward。  But they were worn out。  Many were
unable to put their feet to the ground。  The wagons were
crowded with these helpless ones。  The Senora had so far
recovered as to understand that within a few hours Santa Anna
and the Americans must meet。  And; mentally led by Isabel's
passionate hatred; she now showed a vindictiveness beyond that
of any other woman。

She spent hours upon her knees; imploring the saints; and the
stars; and the angel Michael; to fight against Santa
Anna。  To Isabel she whispered; 〃I have even informed the evil
one where he may be found。  The wretch who ordered such
infamies!  He poisons the air of the whole world as he goes
through it。  I shall never be happy till I know that he is in
purgatory。  He will be hated even thereand in a worse place;
too。  Yes; it is pleasant to think of that!  There will be
many accusers of him there。  I shall comfort myself with
imagining his punishment。  Isabel; do you believe with your
heart that Senor Houston and the Americans will be strong
enough to kill him?〃

〃Mi madre; I know it。〃

〃Then do be a little delighted。  How can you bear things with
such a provoking indifference?  But as Luis is safe〃

〃Chito!  Chito!  Do not be cruel; mi madre。  I would stab
Santa Anna with my own handsvery slowly; I would stab him。 
It would be so sweet。  The Sisters told me of a woman in the
Holy Book; who smiled upon the one she hated; and gave him
milk and butter; and when he slept; drove a great nail through
his temples。  I know how she felt。  What a feast it would be;
to strike; and strike; and strike!  I could drive ten;
twenty; fifty nails; into Santa Anna; when I think of Juan。〃

No one had before dared to breathe her boy's name in her
hearing。  She herself had never spoken it。  It fell upon the
ears of both women like a strain of forgotten music。  They
looked at each other with eyes that stirred memory and love to
their sweetest depths。  Almost in whispers they began to talk
of the dead boy; to recall how lovable; how charming; how
affectionate; how obedient he had been。  Then the Senora broke
open the seals of her sorrow; and; with bitter reproaches on
herself; confessed that the kiss she had denied her Juan was
a load of anguish upon her heart that she could not bear。

〃If I had only blessed him;〃 she moaned; 〃I had saved him from
his misfortune。  A mother's blessing is such a holy thing! 
And he knelt at my knees; and begged it。  I can see his eyes
in the darkness; when my eyes are shut。  I can hear his voice
when I am asleep。  Isabel; I shall never be happy till I see
Juan again; and say to him; ‘Forgive me; dear one; forgive me;
for I have suffered。'〃

Both were weeping; but Isabel said; bravely:  〃I am sure
that Juan does not blame you now; mi madre。  In the other
world one understands better。  And remember; also; the letter
which he wrote you。  His last thought was yours。  He fell with
your name on his lips。  These things are certain。  And was it
not good of Dare to die with him?  A friend like that!  Out of
the tale…books who ever hears of such a thing?  Antonia has
wept much。  In the nights; when she thinks I am asleep; I hear
her。  Have you seen that she has grown white and thin?  I
think that my father is very unhappy about her。〃

〃In an hour of mercy may the merciful One remember Dare Grant! 
I will pray for his peace as long as I live。  If he had left
Juanif he had come back aloneI think indeed I should have
hated him。〃

〃That was also the opinion of Antoniashe would never have
loved him the same。  I am sure she would not have married
him。〃

〃My good Antonia!  Go bring her to me; Isabel。  I want to
comfort her。  She has been so patient with me。  I have felt
itfelt it every minute; and I have been stupid and selfish;
and have forgotten that she too was suffering。〃

The next day it was found impossible to move。  The majority of
the women had husbands with the army。  They had left their
wives; to secure everlasting freedom for their children; but;
even if Houston was victorious; they might be wounded and need
their help。  To be near them in any case was the one thing
about which they were positive。

〃We will not move another inch;〃 said a brave little
Massachusetts woman; who had been the natural leader of this
domestic Exodus; 〃we will rest ourselves a little here; and if
the Mexicans want some extraordinary fighting they can have
it; especially; if they come meddling with us or our children。 
My husband told me just to get out of reach of shot and shell
and wait there till we heard of the victory; and I am for
doing THAT; and no other thing。〃

Nearly two hundred women; bent upon their own way; are not to
be taken any other way; and the few old men who had been sent
to guide the party; and shoot what game was necessary for
their support; surrendered at once to this feminine mutiny。 
Besides; the condition of the boys and girls between seven and
fourteen was really a deplorable one。  They were too old
to be cared for as infants; and they had been obliged; with
the strength of children; to accomplish the labor of men and
women。  Many were crippled in their feet; others were
continually on the point of swooning。

It was now the 20th of April。  The Senora and her daughters
had been six weeks with the American army; exposed to all the
privations which such a life entailed。  But the most obvious
of these privations were; perhaps; those which were most
easily borne。  Women endure great calamities better than the
little annoyances affecting those wants which are part and
parcel of their sex or their caste。  It was not the
necessaries so much as the luxuries of life which the Senora
missedthe changes of raimentthe privacythe quietthe
regularity of events。

During the whole of the 20th; there was almost a Sabbath
stillness。  It was a warm; balmy day。 

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