remember the alamo-第41章

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agreeable；　as　we　were　to　that　outrageous　Sam　Houston；　they　say
thank　you；　madam；　and　go　on　thinking　their　own　cruel　thoughts。　
I　wonder　the　gentle　God　permits　that　such　men　live。〃

〃Dear　mother；　refinement　in　war　is　not　possible。　　Nothing　can
make　it　otherwise　than　brutal　and　bloody。〃

〃Antonia；　allow　that　I；　who　am　your　mother；　should　know　what
I　have　simply　seen　with　my　eyes。　　Salcedo；　Bravo；　Martinez；
Urreaare　they　not　great　soldiers？　　Very　well；　then；　I
say　they　brought　some　pleasure　with　their　armies；　and　you　will
see　that　Santa　Anna　will　do　the　same。　　If　we　were　only　in　our
own　home！　　It　must　have　been　the　devil　who　made　us　leave　it。〃

〃How　truly　splendid　the　officers　looked；　mi　madre。　　I　dare　say
Senora　Valdez　will　entertain　them。〃

〃That　is　certain。　　And　as　for　Dorette　Valdezthe　coquetteit
will　certainly　be　a　great　happiness　to　her。〃

Isabel　sighed；　and　the　Senora　felt　a　kind　of　satisfaction　in
the　sigh。　　It　was　unendurable　to　be　alone　in　her　regrets　and
her　longings。

〃Yes；〃　she　continued；　〃every　night　Senora　Trespalacios　will
give　a　tertulia；　and　the　officers　will　have　military　balls
the　brave　young　men；　they　will　be　so　gay；　so　charming；　so
devoted；　and　in　a　few　hours；　perhaps；　they　will　go　into　the
other　world　by　the　road　of　the　battlefield。　　Ah；　how　pitiful！　
How　interesting！　　Cannot　you　imagine　it？〃

Isabel　sighed　again；　but　the　sigh　was　for　the　gay；　the
charming　Luis　Alveda。　　And　when　she　thought　of　him；　she
forgot　in　a　moment　to　envy　Dorette　Valdez；　or　the　senoritas　of
the　noble　house　of　Trespalacios。　　And　some　sudden；　swift　touch
of　sympathy；　strong　as　it　was　occult；　made　the　Senora　at　the
same　moment　remember　her　husband　and　her　sons。　　A　real　sorrow
and　a　real　anxiety　drove　out　all　smaller　annoyances。　　Then
both　her　daughters　wept　together；　until　their　community　of
grief　had　brought　to　each　heart　the　solemn　strength　of　a
divine　hope　and　reliance。

〃My　children；　I　will　go　now　and　pray；〃　said　the　sorrowful　wife
and　mother。　　〃At　the　foot　of　the　cross　I　will　wait　for　the
hour　of　deliverance；　and　casting　herself　on　her　knees；　with
her　crucifix　in　her　hand；　she　appeared　in　a　moment　to　have
forgotten　everything　but　her　anguish　and　her　sins；　and　the
Lamb　of　God　upon　whom；　with　childlike　faith；　she　was
endeavoring　to　cast　them。　　Her　tears　dropped　upon　the　ivory
image　of　the　Crucified；　and　sympathetic　tears　sprung　into
Antonia's　and　Isabel's　eyes；　as　they　listened　to　her
imploration。

That　night；　when　all　was　dark　and　still；　Ortiz　returned　with
the　wagon。　　In　the　morning　Antonia　went　to　speak　to　him。　
He　looked　worn…out　and　sorrowful；　and　she　feared　to　ask　him
for　news。　　〃There　is　food　in　the　house；　and　I　have　made　you
chocolate；〃　she　said；　as　she　pitifully　scanned　the　man's
exhausted　condition。

〃The　Senorita　is　kind　as　the　angels。　　I　will　eat　and　drink　at
her　order。　　I　am；　indeed；　faint　and　hungry。〃

She　brought　him　to　the　table；　and　when　he　refused　to　sit　in
her　presence；　she　said　frankly；　〃Captain　Ortiz；　you　are　our
friend　and　not　our　servant。　　Rest　and　refresh　yourself。〃

He　bent　upon　one　knee　and　kissed　the　hand　she　offered；　and
without　further　remonstrance　obeyed　her　desire。　　Isabel　came
in　shortly；　and　with　the　tact　of　true　kindness　she　made　no
remark；　but　simply　took　the　chair　beside　Ortiz；　and　said；　in
her　usual　voice　and　manner：　　〃Good　morning；　Captain。　　We　are
glad　to　see　you。　　Did　you　meet　my　brother　Thomas　again？〃

〃Senorita；　God　be　with　you！　　I　have　not　seen　him。　　I　was　at
Goliad。〃

〃Then　you　would　see　our　brother　Juan？〃

〃Si。　　The　Senor　Juan　is　in　good　health　and　great
happiness。　　He　sent　by　my　willing　hands　a　letter。〃

〃Perhaps　also　you　saw　his　friend；　Senor　Grant？〃

〃From　him；　also；　I　received　a　letter。　　Into　your　gracious
care；　Senorita；　I　deliver　them。〃

〃I　thank　you　for　your　kindness；　Captain。　　Tell　us　now　of　the
fortress。　　Are　the　troops　in　good　spirits？〃

〃Allow　me　to　fear　that　they　are　in　too　good　assurance　of
success。　　The　most　of　the　men　are　very　young。　　They　have　not
yet　met　our　Lady　of　Sorrows。　　They　have　promised　to　themselves
the　independence　of　Texas。　　They　will　also　conquer　Mexico。　
There　are　kingdoms　in　the　moon　for　them。　　I　envy　such
exaltationsand　regret　them。　　GRACE　OF　GOD；　Senorita！　　My
heart　ached　to　see　the　crowds　of　bright　young　faces。　　With　a
Napoleonwith　a　Washington　to　lead　themthey　would　do
miracles。〃

〃What　say　you　to　Houston？〃

〃I　know　him　not。　　At　Goliad　they　are　all　Houstons。　　They
believe　each　man　in　himself。　　On　the　contrary；　I　wish　that
each　man　looked　to　the　same　leader。〃

〃Do　you　know　that　Santa　Anna　is　in　San　Antonio？〃

〃I　felt　it；　though　I　had　no　certain　news。　　I　came　far　around；
and　hid　myself　from　all　passers…by；　for　the　sake　of　the　wagon
and　the　horses。　　I　have　the　happiness　to　say　they　are　safe。　
The　wagon　is　within　the　enclosure；　the　horses　are　on　the
prairie。　　They　have　been　well　trained；　and　will　come　to　my
call。　　As　for　me；　I　will　now　go　into　the　city；　for　there　will
be　much　to　see　and　to　hear　that　may　be　important　to　us。　
Senoritas；　for　all　your　desires；　I　am　at　your　service。〃

When　Ortiz　was　gone；　Isabel　had　a　little　fret　of
disappointment。　　Luis　might　have　found　some　messenger　to　bring
her　a　word　of　his　love　and　life。　　What　was　love　worth　that　did
not　annihilate　impossibilities！　　However；　it　consoled　her　a
little　to　carry　Jack's　letter　to　his　mother。　　The　Senora　had
taken　her　morning　chocolate　and　fallen　asleep。　　When　Isabel
awakened　her；　she　opened　her　eyes　　with　a　sigh；　and　a　look　of
hopeless　misery。　　These　pallid　depressions　attacked　her　most
cruelly　in　the　morning；　when　the　room；　shabby　and　unfamiliar；
gave　both　her　memory；　and　anticipation　a　shock。

But　the　sight　of　the　letter　flushed　her　face　with　expectation。　
She　took　it　with　smiles。　　She　covered　it　with　kisses。　　When
she　opened　it；　a　curl　from　Jack's　head　fell　on　to　her　lap。　
She　pressed　it　to　her　heart；　and　then　rose　and　laid　it　at　the
feet　of　her　Madonna。　　〃She　must　share　my　joy；〃　she　said　with
a　pathetic　childishness；　〃she　will　understand　it。〃　　Then；　with
her　arm　around　Isabel；　and　the　girl's　head　on　his　shoulder；
they　read　together　Jack's　loving　words：

〃Mi　madre；　mi　madre；　you　have　Juan's　heart　in　your　heart。　
Believe　me；　that　in　all　this　trouble　I　sorrow　only　for　you。　
When　victory　is　won　I　shall　fly　to　you。　　Other　young　men　have
other　loves；　I　have　only　you；　sweet　mother。　　There　is　always
the　cry　in　my　heart　for　the　kiss　I　missed　when　I　left　you。　　If
I　could　hold　your　hand　to…night；　if　I　could　hear　your　voice；
if　I　could　lay　my　head　on　your　breast；　I　would　say　that　the
Holy　One　had　given　me　the　best　blessings　He　had　in　heaven。　
Send　to　me　a　letter；　madrea　letter　full　of　love　and　kisses。　
Forgive　Juan！　　Think　of　this　only：　HE　IS　MY　BOY！　　If　I
live；　it　is　for　you；　who　are　the　loveliest　and　dearest　of
mothers。　　If　I　die；　I　shall　die　with　your　name　on　my
lips。　　I　embrace　you　with　my　soul。　　I　kiss　your　hands；　and
remember　how　often　they　have　clasped　mine。　　I　kiss　your　eyes；
your　cheeks；　your　dear　lips。　　Mi　madre；　remember　me！　　In　your
prayers；　remember　Juan！〃

With　what　tears　and　sobs　was　this　loving　letter　read　by　all
the　women；　and　the　Senora　finally　laid　it　where　she　had　laid
the　precious　curl　that　had　come　with　it。　　She　wanted　〃the
Woman　blessed　among　women〃　to　share　the　mother　joy　and　the
mother　anguish　in　her　heart。　　Besides；　she　was　a　little
nervous　about　Jack's　memento　of　himself。　　Her　superstitious
lore　taught　her　that　severed　hair　is　a　token　of　severed　love。　
She　wished　he　had　not　sent　it；　and　yet　she　could　not　bear　to
have　it　out　of　her　sight。

〃Gracias　a　Dios！〃　she　kept　ejaculating。　　〃I　have　one　child
that　loves　me；　and　me　only。　　I　shall　forgive　Juan　everything。　
I　shall　not　forgive　Thomas　many　things。　　But　Juan！　oh！　it　is
impossible　not　to　love　him　entirely。　　There　is　no　one　like　him
in　the　world。　　If　the　good　God　will　only　give　him　back　to　me；
I　will　say　a　prayer　of　thanks　every　day　of　my　life　long。　
Oh；　Juan！　　Juan！　my　boy！　my　dear　one！〃

Thus　she　talked　to　herself　and　her　daughters　continually。　　She
wrote　a　letter　full　of　motherly　affection　and　loving
incoherencies；　and　if　Jack　had　ever　received　it　he　would
doubtle