remember the alamo-第16章

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softly；　〃Father；　dear；　tell　mi　madre　my　last　look　at　the
house；　my　last　thought　in　leaving　it；　was　for　her。　　She　would
not　kiss　me　or　bless　me　last　night。　　Ask　her　to　kiss　you　for
me；〃　and　then　the　lad　broke　fairly　down。　　The　moment　had　come
in　which　love　could　find　no　utterance；　and　must　act。　　He　flung
his　arm　around　his　father's　neck　and　kissed　him。　　And　the
father　wept　also；　and　yet　spoke　brave　words　to　both　as　he
walked　with　them　to　the　gate　and　watched　them　ride　into　the
thick　mist　lying　upon　the　prairie　like　a　cloud。　　They　were
only　darker　spots　in　it。　　It　swallowed　them　up。　　They　were
lost　to　sight。

He　thought　no　one　had　seen　the　boys　leave　but　himself。　　But
through　the　lattices　two　sorrowful　women　also　watched　their
departure。　　The　Senora；　as　wakeful　as　her　husband；　had　heard
the　slight　movements；　the　unusual　noises　of　that　early　hour；
and　had　divined　the　cause　of　them。　　She　looked　at　Rachela。　
The　woman　had　fallen　into　the　dead　sleep　of　exhaustion；　and
she　would　not　have　to　parry　her　objections　and　warnings。　
Unshod；　and　in　her　night…dress；　she　slipped　through　the
corridor　to　the　back　of　the　house；　and　tightly　clasping　her
rosary　in　her　hands；　she　stood　behind　the　lattice　and　watched
her　boy　away。

He　turned　in　his　saddle　just　before　he　passed　the　gate；　and
she　saw　his　young　face　lifted　with　an　unconscious；　anxious
love；　to　the　very　lattice　at　which　she　stood：　　In　the　dim
light　it　had　a　strange　pallor。　　The　misty　air　blurred　and　made
all　indistinct。　　It　was　like　seeing　her　Jack　in　some　woful
dream。　　If　he　had　been　dead；　such　a　vision　of　him　might　have
come　to　her　from　the　shadow　land。

Usually　her　grief　was　noisy　and　imperative　of　sympathy。　　But
this　morning　she　could　not　cry　nor　lament。　　She　went　softly
back　to　her　room　and　sat　down；　with　her　crucifix　before　her
aching　eyes。　　Yet　she　could　not　say　her　usual　prayers。　　She
could　not　remember　anything　but　Jack's　entreaty〃Kiss　me；　mi
madre！　　Bless　me；　mi　madre！〃　　She　could　not　see　anything　but
that　last　rapid　turn　in　the　saddle；　and　that　piteous　young
face；　showing　so　weird　and　dreamlike　through　the　gray　mist　of
the　early　dawn。

Antonia　had　watched　with　her。　　Dare；　also；　had　turned；　but
there　had　been　something　about　Dare's　attitude　far　more　cheery
and　hopeful。　　On　the　previous　night　Antonia　had　put　some
sprays　of　rosemary　in　his　hat　band　〃to　bring　good；　and　keep
away　evil　on　a　journey〃；　and　as　he　turned　and　lifted　his　hat
he　put　his　lips　to　them。　　He　had　the　belief　that　from　some
point　his　Antonia　was　watching　him。　　He　conveyed　to　her；　by
the　strength　of　his　love　and　his　will；　the　assurance　of　all
their　hopes。

That　day　Doctor　Worth　did　not　go　out。　　The　little　bravado　of
carrying　arms　was　impossible　to　him。　　It　was　not　that　his
courage　had　failed；　or　that　he　had　lost　a　tittle　of　his
convictions；　but　he　was　depressed　by　the　uncertainty　of　his
position　and　duty；　and　he　was；　besides；　the　thrall　of　that
intangible　anxiety　which　we　call　PRESENTIMENT。

Yet；　however　dreary　life　is；　it　must　go　on。　　The　brave…hearted
cannot　drop　daily　duty。　　On　the　second　day　the　doctor　went　to
his　office　again；　and　Antonia　arranged　the　meals　and　received
company；　and　did　her　best　to　bring　the　household　into　peaceful
accord　with　the　new　elements　encroaching　on　it　from　all　sides。

But　the　Senora　was　more　〃difficult〃　than　even　Rachela　had　ever
seen　her　before。　　She　did　not　go　to　church；　but　Fray　Ignatius
spent　a　great　deal　of　time　with　her；　and　his　influence　was　not
any　more　conciliating　than　that　of　early　masses　and　much　fasting。

He　said　to　her；　indeed：　　〃My　daughter；　you　have　behaved　with
the　fortitude　of　a　saint。　　It　would　have　been　more　than　a
venial　sin；　if　you　had　kissed　and　blessed　a　rebel　in　the　very
act　of　his　rebellion。　　The　Holy　Mary　will　reward　and　comfort
you。〃

But　the　Senora　was　not　sensible　of　the　reward　and　comfort；　and
she　did　feel　most　acutely　the　cruel　wound　she　had　given　her
mother　love。　　Neither　prayers　nor　penance　availed　her。　　She
wanted　to　see　Jack。　　She　wanted　to　kiss　him　a　hundred　times；
and　bless　him　with　every　kiss。　　And　it　did　not　help　her　to　be
told　that　these　longings　were　the　suggestions　of　the　Evil　One；
and　not　to　be　listened　to。

The　black…robed　monk；　gliding　about　his　house　with　downcast
eyes　and　folded　hands；　had　never　seemed　to　Robert　Worth　so
objectionable。　　He　knew　that　he　kept　the　breach　open　between
himself　and　his　wifethat　he　thought　it　a　point　of　religious
duty　to　do　so。　　He　knew　that　he　was　gradually　isolating　the
wretched　woman　from　her　husband　and　children；　and　that
the　continual　repetition　of　prayers　and　penances　did　not　give
her　any　adequate　comfort　for　the　wrong　she　was　doing　her
affections。

The　city　was　also　in　a　condition　of　the　greatest　excitement。　
The　soldiers　in　the　Alamo　were　under　arms。　　Their　officers　had
evidently　received　important　advices　from　Mexico。　　General
Cos；　the　brother…in…law　of　Santa　Anna；　was　now　in　command；　and
it　was　said　immense　reinforcements　were　hourly　looked　for。　
The　drifting　American　population　had　entirely　vanished；　but
its　palpable　absence　inspired　the　most　thoughtful　of　the
people　with　fear　instead　of　security。

Nor　were　the　military　by　any　means　sure　of　the　loyalty　of　the
city。　　It　was　well　known　that　a　large　proportion　of　the　best
citizens　hated　the　despotism　of　Santa　Anna；　and　that　if　the
Americans　attacked　San　Antonio；　they　would　receive　active
sympathy。　　Party　feeling　was　no　longer　controllable。　　Men
suspected　each　other。　　Duels　were　of　constant　occurrence；　and
families　were　torn　to　pieces；　for　the　monks　supported　Santa
Anna　with　all　their　influence；　and　there　were　few　women
who　dared　to　disobey　them。

Into　the　midst　of　this　turbulent；　touchy　community；　there　fell
one　morning　a　word　or　two　which　set　it　on　fire。　　Doctor　Worth
was　talking　on　the　Plaza　with　Senor　Lopez　Navarro。　　A　Mexican
soldier；　with　his　yellow　cloak　streaming　out　behind　him；
galloped　madly　towards　the　Alamo　and　left　the　news　there。　　It
spread　like　wildfire。　　〃There　had　been　a　fight　at　Gonzales；
and　the　Americans　had　kept　their　arms。　　They　had　also　put　the
Mexicans　to　flight。〃

〃And　more；〃　added　a　young　Mexican　coming　up　to　the　group　of
which　Robert　Worth　was　one；　〃Stephen　Austin　has　escaped；　and
he　arrived　at　Gonzales　at　the　very　moment　of　victory。　　And
more　yet：　　Americans　are　pouring　into　Gonzales　from　every
quarter。〃

An　officer　tapped　Doctor　Worth　on　the　shoulder。　　〃Senor
Doctor；　your　arms。　　General　Cos　hopes；　in　the　present
extremity；　you　will　set　an　example　of　obedience。〃

〃I　will　not　give　up　my　arms。　　In　the　present　extremity　my　arms
are　the　greatest　need　I　have。〃

〃Then　Senor；it　is　a　great　affliction　to　meI　must　arrest
you。〃

He　was　led　away；　amid　the　audible　murmurs　of　the　men　who
filled　the　streets。　　There　needed　but　some　one　to　have　said
the　word；　and　they　would　have　taken　him　forcibly　from　the
military。　　A　great　crowd　followed　him　to　the　gates　of　the
Alamo。　　For　there　was　scarcely　a　family　in　San　Antonio　of　which
this　good　doctor　was　not　an　adopted　member。　　The　arrest　of　their
favorite　confessor　would　hardly　have　enraged　them　more。

Fray　Ignatius　brought　the　news　to　the　Senora。　　Even　he　was
affected　by　it。　　Never　before　had　Antonia　seen　him　walk　except
with　thoughtful　and　deliberate　steps。　　She　wondered　at　his
appearance；　at　its　suppressed　hurry；　at　a　something　in　it
which　struck　her　as　suppressed　satisfaction。

And　the　priest　was　in　his　heart　satisfied；　though　he　was
consciously　telling　himself　that　〃he　was　sorry　for　the　Senora；
and　that　he　would　have　been　glad　if　the　sins　of　her　husband
could　have　been　set　against　the　works　of　supererogation　which
the　saints　of　his　own　convent　had　amassed。〃

〃But　he　is　an　infidel；　he　believes　not　in　the　saints；〃　he
muttered；　〃then　how　could　they　avail　him！〃

Antonia　met　him　at　the　door。　　He　said　an　Ave　Maria　as　he
crossed　the　threshold；　and　gave　her　his　hand　to　kiss。　　She
looked　wonderingly　in　his　face；　for　unless　it　was　a　special
visit；　he　never　called　so　near　the　Angelus。　　Still；　it　is
difficult　to　throw　off　a　habit　of　obedience　formed　in　early
youth；　and　she　did　not　feel　as　if　she　could　break　through　the
chill　atmosphere　of　the　man　an