at the sign of the cat and racket-第11章
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was unintelligible； and which redeems a jest from the taint of
profanity； 〃But； madame； your Paradise cannot be more beautiful than
Raphael's Transfiguration！Well； and I got tired of looking at that。〃
Thus Augustine came among this sparkling set in a spirit of distrust
which no one could fail to see。 She was a restraint on their freedom。
Now an artist who feels restraint is pitiless； he stays away； or
laughs it to scorn。 Madame Guillaume； among other absurdities； had an
excessive notion of the dignity she considered the prerogative of a
married woman； and Augustine； though she had often made fun of it；
could not help a slight imitation of her mother's primness。 This
extreme propriety； which virtuous wives do not always avoid； suggested
a few epigrams in the form of sketches； in which the harmless jest was
in such good taste that Sommervieux could not take offence； and even
if they had been more severe； these pleasantries were after all only
reprisals from his friends。 Still； nothing could seem a trifle to a
spirit so open as Theodore's to impressions from without。 A coldness
insensibly crept over him； and inevitably spread。 To attain conjugal
happiness we must climb a hill whose summit is a narrow ridge； close
to a steep and slippery descent： the painter's love was falling down
it。 He regarded his wife as incapable of appreciating the moral
considerations which justified him in his own eyes for his singular
behavior to her； and believed himself quite innocent in hiding from
her thoughts she could not enter into； and peccadilloes outside the
jurisdiction of a /bourgeois/ conscience。 Augustine wrapped herself in
sullen and silent grief。 These unconfessed feelings placed a shroud
between the husband and wife which could not fail to grow thicker day
by day。 Though her husband never failed in consideration for her；
Augustine could not help trembling as she saw that he kept for the
outer world those treasures of wit and grace that he formerly would
lay at her feet。 She soon began to find sinister meaning in the
jocular speeches that are current in the world as to the inconstancy
of men。 She made no complaints； but her demeanor conveyed reproach。
Three years after her marriage this pretty young woman； who dashed
past in her handsome carriage； and lived in a sphere of glory and
riches to the envy of heedless folk incapable of taking a just view of
the situations of life； was a prey to intense grief。 She lost her
color； she reflected； she made comparisons； then sorrow unfolded to
her the first lessons of experience。 She determined to restrict
herself bravely within the round of duty； hoping that by this generous
conduct she might sooner or later win back her husband's love。 But it
was not so。 When Sommervieux； fired with work； came in from his
studio； Augustine did not put away her work so quickly but that the
painter might find his wife mending the household linen； and his own；
with all the care of a good housewife。 She supplied generously and
without a murmur the money needed for his lavishness； but in her
anxiety to husband her dear Theodore's fortune； she was strictly
economical for herself and in certain details of domestic management。
Such conduct is incompatible with the easy…going habits of artists；
who； at the end of their life； have enjoyed it so keenly that they
never inquire into the causes of their ruin。
It is useless to note every tint of shadow by which the brilliant hues
of their honeymoon were overcast till they were lost in utter
blackness。 One evening poor Augustine； who had for some time heard her
husband speak with enthusiasm of the Duchesse de Carigliano； received
from a friend certain malignantly charitable warnings as to the nature
of the attachment which Sommervieux had formed for this celebrated
flirt of the Imperial Court。 At one…and…twenty； in all the splendor of
youth and beauty； Augustine saw herself deserted for a woman of
six…and…thirty。 Feeling herself so wretched in the midst of a world of
festivity which to her was a blank； the poor little thing could no
longer understand the admiration she excited； or the envy of which she
was the object。 Her face assumed a different expression。 Melancholy；
tinged her features with the sweetness of resignation and the pallor
of scorned love。 Ere long she too was courted by the most fascinating
men； but she remained lonely and virtuous。 Some contemptuous words
which escaped her husband filled her with incredible despair。 A
sinister flash showed her the breaches which； as a result of her
sordid education； hindered the perfect union of her soul with
Theodore's； she loved him well enough to absolve him and condemn
herself。 She shed tears of blood； and perceived； too late； that there
are /mesalliances/ of the spirit as well as of rank and habits。 As she
recalled the early raptures of their union； she understood the full
extent of that lost happiness； and accepted the conclusion that so
rich a harvest of love was in itself a whole life； which only sorrow
could pay for。 At the same time； she loved too truly to lose all hope。
At one…and…twenty she dared undertake to educate herself； and make her
imagination； at least； worthy of that she admired。 〃If I am not a
poet；〃 thought she； 〃at any rate； I will understand poetry。〃
Then； with all the strength of will； all the energy which every woman
can display when she loves； Madame de Sommervieux tried to alter her
character； her manners； and her habits； but by dint of devouring books
and learning undauntedly； she only succeeded in becoming less
ignorant。 Lightness of wit and the graces of conversation are a gift
of nature； or the fruit of education begun in the cradle。 She could
appreciate music and enjoy it； but she could not sing with taste。 She
understood literature and the beauties of poetry； but it was too late
to cultivate her refractory memory。 She listened with pleasure to
social conversation； but she could contribute nothing brilliant。 Her
religious notions and home…grown prejudices were antagonistic to the
complete emancipation of her intelligence。 Finally； a foregone
conclusion against her had stolen into Theodore's mind； and this she
could not conquer。 The artist would laugh； at those who flattered him
about his wife； and his irony had some foundation； he so overawed the
pathetic young creature that； in his presence； or alone with him； she
trembled。 Hampered by her too eager desire to please； her wits and her
knowledge vanished in one absorbing feeling。 Even her fidelity vexed
the unfaithful husband； who seemed to bid her do wrong by stigmatizing
her virtue as insensibility。 Augustine tried in vain to abdicate her
reason； to yield to her husband's caprices and whims； to devote
herself to the selfishness of his vanity。 Her sacrifices bore no
fruit。 Perhaps they had both let the moment slip when souls may meet
in comprehension。 One day the young wife's too sensitive heart
received one of those blows which so strain the bonds of feeling that
they seem to be broken。 She withdrew into solitude。 But before long a
fatal idea suggested to her to seek counsel and comfort in the bosom
of her family。
So one morning she made her way towards the grotesque facade of the
humble； silent home where she had spent her childhood。 She sighed as
she looked up at the sash…window； whence one day she had sent her
first kiss to him who now shed as much sorrow as glory on her life。
Nothing was changed in the cavern； where the drapery business had；
however； started on a new life。 Augustine's sister filled her mother's
old place at the desk。 The unhappy young woman met her brother…in…law
with his pen behind his ear； he hardly listened to her； he was so full
of business。 The formidable symptoms of stock…taking were visible all
round him； he begged her to excuse him。 She was received coldly enough
by her sister； who owed her a grudge。 In fact； Augustine； in her
finery； and stepping out of a handsome carriage； had never been to see
her but when passing by。 The wife of the prudent Lebas； imagining that
want of money was the prime cause of this early call； tried to keep up
a tone of reserve which more than once made Augustine smile。 T
