vailima letters-第12章
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at work this morning; so the menace may be blessed。 It was
just after my dinner; just before theirs; that I administered
my redoubtable tongue … it is really redoubtable … to these
skulkers (Paul used to triumph over Mr。 J。 for weeks。 'I am
very sorry for you;' he would say; 'you're going to have a
talk with Mr。 Stevenson when he comes home: you don't know
what that is!') In fact; none of them do; till they get it。
I have known K。; for instance; for months; he has never heard
me complain; or take notice; unless it were to praise; I have
used him always as my guest; and there seems to be something
in my appearance which suggests endless; ovine long…
suffering! We sat in the upper verandah all evening; and
discussed the price of iron roofing; and the state of the
draught…horses; with Innes; a new man we have taken; and who
seems to promise well。
One thing embarrasses me。 No one ever seems to understand my
attitude about that book; the stuff sent was never meant for
other than a first state; I never meant it to appear as a
book。 Knowing well that I have never had one hour of
inspiration since it was begun; and have only beaten out my
metal by brute force and patient repetition; I hoped some day
to get a 'spate of style' and burnish it … fine mixed
metaphor。 I am now so sick that I intend; when the Letters
are done and some more written that will be wanted; simply to
make a book of it by the pruning…knife。
I cannot fight longer; I am sensible of having done worse
than I hoped; worse than I feared; all I can do now is to do
the best I can for the future; and clear the book; like a
piece of bush; with axe and cutlass。 Even to produce the MS。
of this will occupy me; at the most favourable opinion; till
the middle of next year; really five years were wanting; when
I could have made a book; but I have a family; and … perhaps
I could not make the book after all。
CHAPTER VIII
APRIL 29TH; '91。
MY DEAR COLVIN; … I begin again。 I was awake this morning
about half…past four。 It was still night; but I made my
fire; which is always a delightful employment; and read
Lockhart's 'Scott' until the day began to peep。 It was a
beautiful and sober dawn; a dove…coloured dawn; insensibly
brightening to gold。 I was looking at it some while over the
down…hill profile of our eastern road; when I chanced to
glance northward; and saw with extraordinary pleasure the sea
lying outspread。 It seemed as smooth as glass; and yet I
knew the surf was roaring all along the reef; and indeed; if
I had listened; I could have heard it … and saw the white
sweep of it outside Matautu。
I am out of condition still; and can do nothing; and toil to
be at my pen; and see some ink behind me。 I have taken up
again THE HIGH WOODS OF ULUFANUA。 I still think the fable
too fantastic and far…fetched。 But; on a re…reading; fell in
love with my first chapter; and for good or evil I must
finish it。 It is really good; well fed with facts; true to
the manners; and (for once in my works) rendered pleasing by
the presence of a heroine who is pretty。 Miss Uma is pretty;
a fact。 All my other women have been as ugly as sin; and
like Falconet's horse (I have just been reading the anecdote
in Lockhart); MORTES forbye。
News: Our old house is now half demolished; it is to be
rebuilt on a new site; now we look down upon and through the
open posts of it like a bird…cage; to the woods beyond。 My
poor Paulo has lost his father and succeeded to thirty
thousand thalers (I think); he had to go down to the
Consulate yesterday to send a legal paper; got drunk; of
course; and is still this morning in so bemused a condition
that our breakfasts all went wrong。 Lafaele is absent at the
deathbed of his fair spouse; fair she was; but not in deed;
acting as harlot to the wreckers at work on the warships; to
which society she probably owes her end; having fallen off a
cliff; or been thrust off it …INTER POCULA。 Henry is the
same; our stand…by。 In this transition stage he has been
living in Apia; but the other night he stayed up; and sat
with us about the chimney in my room。 It was the first time
he had seen a fire in a hearth; he could not look at it
without smiles; and was always anxious to put on another
stick。 We entertained him with the fairy tales of
civilisation … theatres; London; blocks in the street;
Universities; the Underground; newspapers; etc。; and
projected once more his visit to Sydney。 If we can manage;
it will be next Christmas。 (I see it will be impossible for
me to afford a further journey THIS winter。) We have spent
since we have been here about 2500 pounds; which is not much
if you consider we have built on that three houses; one of
them of some size; and a considerable stable; made two miles
of road some three times; cleared many acres of bush; made
some miles of path; planted quantities of food; and enclosed
a horse paddock and some acres of pig run; but 'tis a good
deal of money regarded simply as money。 K。 is bosh; I have
no use for him; but we must do what we can with the fellow
meanwhile; he is good…humoured and honest; but inefficient;
idle himself; the cause of idleness in others; grumbling; a
self…excuser … all the faults in a bundle。 He owes us thirty
weeks' service … the wretched Paul about half as much。 Henry
is almost the only one of our employes who has a credit。
MAY 17TH。
Well; am I ashamed of myself? I do not think so。 I have
been hammering Letters ever since; and got three ready and a
fourth about half through; all four will go by the mail;
which is what I wish; for so I keep at least my start。 Days
and days of unprofitable stubbing and digging; and the result
still poor as literature; left…handed; heavy; unillumined;
but I believe readable and interesting as matter。 It has
been no joke of a hard time; and when my task was done; I had
little taste for anything but blowing on the pipe。 A few
necessary letters filled the bowl to overflowing。
My mother has arrived; young; well; and in good spirits。 By
desperate exertions; which have wholly floored Fanny; her
room was ready for her; and the dining…room fit to eat in。
It was a famous victory。 Lloyd never told me of your
portrait till a few days ago; fortunately; I had no pictures
hung yet; and the space over my chimney waits your
counterfeit presentment。 I have not often heard anything
that pleased me more; your severe head shall frown upon me
and keep me to the mark。 But why has it not come? Have you
been as forgetful as Lloyd?
18TH。
Miserable comforters are ye all! I read your esteemed pages
this morning by lamplight and the glimmer of the dawn; and as
soon as breakfast was over; I must turn to and tackle these
despised labours! Some courage was necessary; but not
wanting。 There is one thing at least by which I can avenge
myself for my drubbing; for on one point you seem
impenetrably stupid。 Can I find no form of words which will
at last convey to your intelligence the fact that THESE
LETTERS WERE NEVER MEANT; AND ARE NOT NOW MEANT; TO BE OTHER
THAN A QUARRY OF MATERIALS FROM WHICH THE BOOK MAY BE DRAWN?
There seems something incommunicable in this (to me) simple
idea; I know Lloyd failed to comprehend it; I doubt if he has
grasped it now; and I despair; after all these efforts; that
you should ever be enlightened。 Still; oblige me by reading
that form of words once more; and see if a light does not
break。 You may be sure; after the friendly freedoms of your
criticism (necessary I am sure; and wholesome I know; but
untimely to the poor labourer in his landslip) that mighty
little of it will stand。
Our Paul has come into a fortune; and wishes to go home to
the Hie Germanie。 This