riders of the purple sage-第58章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



〃Why？〃

〃Because；〃　replied　Jane。　And　she　found　it　strangely　embarrassing　to　meet　the　child's　gaze。　It　seemed　to　her　that　Fay's　violet　eyes　looked　through　her　with　piercing　wisdom。

〃Oo　love　him；　don't　oo？〃

〃Dear　childrun　and　play；〃　said　Jane；　〃but　don't　go　too　far。　Don't　go　from　this　little　hill。〃

Fay　pranced　off　wildly；　joyous　over　freedom　that　had　not　been　granted　her　for　weeks。

〃Jane；　why　are　children　more　sincere　than　grown…up　persons？〃　asked　Lassiter。

〃Are　they？〃

〃I　reckon　so。　Little　Fay　thereshe　sees　things　as　they　appear　on　the　face。　An　Indian　does　that。　So　does　a　dog。　An'　an　Indian　an'　a　dog　are　most　of　the　time　right　in　what　they　see。　Mebbe　a　child　is　always　right。〃

〃Well；　what　does　Fay　see？〃　asked　Jane。

〃I　reckon　you　know。　I　wonder　what　goes　on　in　Fay's　mind　when　she　sees　part　of　the　truth　with　the　wise　eyes　of　a　child；　an'　wantin'　to　know　more；　meets　with　strange　falseness　from　you？　Wait！　You　are　false　in　a　way；　though　you're　the　best　woman　I　ever　knew。　What　I　want　to　say　is　this。　Fay　has　taken　you're　pretendin'　toto　care　for　me　for　the　thing　it　looks　on　the　face。　An'　her　little　formin'　mind　asks　questions。　An'　the　answers　she　gets　are　different　from　the　looks　of　things。　So　she'll　grow　up　gradually　takin'　on　that　falseness；　an'　be　like　the　rest　of　the　women；　an'　men；　too。　An'　the　truth　of　this　falseness　to　life　is　proved　by　your　appearin'　to　love　me　when　you　don't。　Things　aren't　what　they　seem。〃

〃Lassiter；　you're　right。　A　child　should　be　told　the　absolute　truth。　Butis　that　possible？　I　haven't　been　able　to　do　it；　and　all　my　life　I've　loved　the　truth；　and　I've　prided　myself　upon　being　truthful。　Maybe　that　was　only　egotism。　I'm　learning　much；　my　friend。　Some　of　those　blinding　scales　have　fallen　from　my　eyes。　Andand　as　to　caring　for　you；　I　think　I　care　a　great　deal。　How　much；　how　little；　I　couldn't　say。　My　heart　is　almost　broken。　Lassiter。　So　now　is　not　a　good　time　to　judge　of　affection。　I　can　still　play　and　be　merry　with　Fay。　I　can　still　dream。　But　when　I　attempt　serious　thought　I'm　dazed。　I　don't　think。　I　don't　care　any　more。　I　don't　pray！。。。Think　of　that；　my　friend！　But　in　spite　of　my　numb　feeling　I　believe　I'll　rise　out　of　all　this　dark　agony　a　better　woman；　with　greater　love　of　man　and　God。　I'm　on　the　rack　now；　I'm　senseless　to　all　but　pain；　and　growing　dead　to　that。　Sooner　or　later　I　shall　rise　out　of　this　stupor。　I'm　waiting　the　hour。〃

〃It'll　soon　come；　Jane；〃　replied　Lassiter；　soberly。　〃Then　I'm　afraid　for　you。　Years　are　terrible　things；　an'　for　years　you've　been　bound。　Habit　of　years　is　strong　as　life　itself。　Somehow；　though；　I　believe　as　youthat　you'll　come　out　of　it　all　a　finer　woman。　I'm　waitin'；　too。　An'　I'm　wonderin'I　reckon；　Jane；　that　marriage　between　us　is　out　of　all　human　reason？〃

〃Lassiter！。。。My　dear　friend！。。。It's　impossible　for　us　to　marry！〃

〃Whyas　Fay　says？〃　inquired　Lassiter；　with　gentle　persistence。

〃Why！　I　never　thought　why。　But　it's　not　possible。　I　am　Jane；　daughter　of　Withersteen。　My　father　would　rise　out　of　his　grave。　I'm　of　Mormon　birth。　I'm　being　broken。　But　I'm　still　a　Mormon　woman。　And　youyou　are　Lassiter！〃

〃Mebbe　I'm　not　so　much　Lassiter　as　I　used　to　be。〃

〃What　was　it　you　said？　Habit　of　years　is　strong　as　life　itself！　You　can't　change　the　one　habitthe　purpose　of　your　life。　For　you　still　pack　those　black　guns！　You　still　nurse　your　passion　for　blood。〃

A　smile；　like　a　shadow；　flickered　across　his　face。

〃No。〃

〃Lassiter；　I　lied　to　you。　But　I　beg　of　youdon't　you　lie　to　me。　I've　great　respect　for　you。　I　believe　you're　softened　toward　most；　perhaps　all；　my　people　exceptBut　when　I　speak　of　your　purpose；　your　hate；　your　guns；　I　have　only　him　in　mind。　I　don't　believe　you've　changed。〃

For　answer　he　unbuckled　the　heavy　cartridge…belt；　and　laid　it　with　the　heavy；　swing　gun…sheaths　in　her　lap。

〃Lassiter！〃　Jane　whispered；　as　she　gazed　from　him　to　the　black；　cold　guns。　Without　them　he　appeared　shorn　of　strength；　defenseless；　a　smaller　man。　Was　she　Delilah？　Swiftly；　conscious　of　only　one　motiverefusal　to　see　this　man　called　craven　by　his　enemiesshe　rose；　and　with　blundering　fingers　buckled　the　belt　round　his　waist　where　it　belonged。

〃Lassiter；　I　am　a　coward。〃

〃Come　with　me　out　of　Utahwhere　I　can　put　away　my　guns　an'　be　a　man；〃　he　said。　〃I　reckon　I'll　prove　it　to　you　then！　Come！　You've　got　Black　Star　back；　an'　Night　an'　Bells。　Let's　take　the　racers　an'　little　Fay；　en'　race　out　of　Utah。　The　hosses　an'　the　child　are　all　you　have　left。　Come！〃

〃No；　no；　Lassiter。　I'll　never　leave　Utah。　What　would　I　do　in　the　world　with　my　broken　fortunes　and　my　broken　heart？　Ill　never　leave　these　purple　slopes　I　love　so　well。〃

〃I　reckon　I　ought　to've　knowed　that。　Presently　you'll　be　livin'　down　here　in　a　hovel；　en'　presently　Jane　Withersteen　will　be　a　memory。　I　only　wanted　to　have　a　chance　to　show　you　how　a　manany　mancan　be　better　'n　he　was。　If　we　left　Utah　I　could　proveI　reckon　I　could　prove　this　thing　you　call　love。　It's　strange；　an'　hell　an'　heaven　at　once；　Jane　Withersteen。　'Pears　to　me　that　you've　thrown　away　your　big　heart　on　lovelove　of　religion　an'　duty　an'　churchmen；　an'　riders　an'　poor　families　an'　poor　children！　Yet　you　can't　see　what　love　ishow　it　changes　a　person！。。。Listen；　an'　in　tellin'　you　Milly　Erne's　story　I'll　show　you　how　love　changed　her。

〃Milly　an'　me　was　children　when　our　family　moved　from　Missouri　to　Texas；　an'　we　growed　up　in　Texas　ways　same　as　if　we'd　been　born　there。　We　had　been　poor；　an'　there　we　prospered。　In　time　the　little　village　where　we　went　became　a　town；　an'　strangers　an'　new　families　kept　movin'　in。　Milly　was　the　belle　them　days。　I　can　see　her　now；　a　little　girl　no　bigger　'n　a　bird；　an'　as　pretty。　She　had　the　finest　eyes；　dark　blue…black　when　she　was　excited；　an'　beautiful　all　the　time。　You　remember　Milly's　eyes！　An'　she　had　light…brown　hair　with　streaks　of　gold；　an'　a　mouth　that　every　feller　wanted　to　kiss。

〃An'　about　the　time　Milly　was　the　prettiest　an'　the　sweetest；　along　came　a　young　minister　who　began　to　ride　some　of　a　race　with　the　other　fellers　for　Milly。　An'　he　won。　Milly　had　always　been　strong　on　religion；　an'　when　she　met　Frank　Erne　she　went　in　heart　an'　soul　for　the　salvation　of　souls。　Fact　was；　Milly；　through　study　of　the　Bible　an'　attendin'　church　an'　revivals；　went　a　little　out　of　her　head。　It　didn't　worry　the　old　folks　none；　an'　the　only　worry　to　me　was　Milly's　everlastin'　prayin'　an'　workin'　to　save　my　soul。　She　never　converted　me；　but　we　was　the　best　of　comrades；　an'　I　reckon　no　brother　an'　sister　ever　loved　each　other　better。　Well；　Frank　Erne　an　me　hit　up　a　great　friendship。　He　was　a　strappin'　feller；　good　to　look　at；　an'　had　the　most　pleasin'　ways。　His　religion　never　bothered　me；　for　he　could　hunt　an'　fish　an'　ride　an'　be　a　good　feller。　After　buffalo　once；　he　come　pretty　near　to　savin'　my　life。　We　got　to　be　thick　as　brothers；　an'　he　was　the　only　man　I　ever　seen　who　I　thought　was　good　enough　for　Milly。　An'　the　day　they　were　married　I　got　drunk　for　the　only　time　in　my　life。

〃Soon　after　that　I　left　homeit　seems　Milly　was　the　only　one　who　could　keep　me　homean'　I　went　to　the　bad；　as　to　prosperin'　I　saw　some　pretty　hard　life　in　the　Pan　Handle；　an'　then　I　went　North。　In　them　days　Kansas　an'　Nebraska　was　as　bad；　come　to　think　of　it；　as　these　days　right　here　on　the　border　of　Utah。　I　got　to　be　pretty　handy　with　guns。　An'　there　wasn't　many　riders　as　could　beat　me　ridin'。　An'　I　can　say　all　modest…like　that　I　never　seen　the　white　man　who　could　track　a　hoss　or　a　steer　or　a　man　with　me。　Afore　I　knowed　it　two　years　slipped　by；　an'　all　at　once　I　got　homesick；　en'　purled　a　bridle　south。

〃Things　at　home　had　changed。　I　never　got　over　that　homecomin'。　Mother　was　dead　an'　in　her　grave。　Father　was　a　silent；　broken　man；　killed　already　on　his　feet。　Frank　Erne　was　a　ghost　of　his　old　self；　through　with　workin'；　through　with　preachin'；　almost　through　with　livin'；　an'　Milly　was　gone！。。。It　was　a　long　time　before　I　got　the　story。　Father　had　no　mind　left；　an'　Frank　Erne　was　afraid　to　talk。　So　I　had　to　pick　up　whet　'd　happened　from　different　people。

〃It　'pears　that　soon　after　I　left　home　another　preacher　come　to　the　little　town。　An'　he　an'　Frank　become　rivals。　This　feller　was　different　from　Frank。　He　preached　some　other　kind