hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第76章
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¨It is a pride without vanity；〃 Ara continued。 ¨Failure is its brother and shit is its sister and death is its wife。〃
¨It must be a big pride。〃
¨It is；〃 Ara said。 ¨You must not forget it； Tom； and you must not destroy yourself。 Everyone in the ship has that pride； including Peters。 Although I do not like Peters。〃
¨Thanks for telling me；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨I feel fuck…all discouraged about things sometimes。〃
¨Tom；〃 Ara said。 ¨All a man has is pride。 Sometimes you have it so much it is a sin。 We have all done things for pride that we knew were Impossible。 We didnˇt care。 But a man must implement his pride with intelligence and care。 Now that you have ceased to be careful of yourself I must ask you to be； please。 For us and for the ship。〃
¨Who is us？〃
¨All of us。〃
¨OK；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Ask for your dark glasses。〃
¨Tom； please understand。〃
¨I understand。 Thanks very much。 Iˇll eat a hearty supper and sleep like a child。〃
Ara did not think it was funny and he always thought funny things were funny。
¨You try it； Tom；〃 he said。
VII
THEY ANCHORED IN THE LEE of Cayo Cruz in the sandy bight between the two keys。
¨Weˇll put out another anchor to lay here；〃 Thomas Hudson called to his mate。 ¨I donˇt like this bottom。〃
The mate shrugged his shoulders and bent down to the second anchor and Thomas Hudson eased her ahead against the tide； watching the grass from the banks riding by in the current。 He came astern until his second anchor was well dug in。 The boat lay with her bow into the wind and the tide running past her。 There was much wind even in this lee and he knew that when the tide changed she would swing broadside to the swell。
¨The hell with it；〃 he said。 ¨Let her roll。〃
But his mate had lowered the dinghy already and they were running out a stern anchor。 Thomas Hudson watched them drop the little Danforth where it would hold her into the wind when the tide came aflood。
¨Why donˇt you put out a couple more？〃 he called。 ¨Then maybe we could sell her for a goddam spider。〃
The mate grinned at him。
¨Get the outboard on her。 Iˇm going in。〃
¨No； Tom；〃 his mate said。 ¨Let Ara and Willie go in。 Iˇll take them in and another party to M？gano。 Do you want them to take the ni？os？〃
¨No。 Be scientists。〃
Iˇm accepting a lot of handling； he thought。 That must mean I really do need some rest。 The thing is I am neither tired nor sleepy。
¨Antonio；〃 he said。
¨Yes；〃 said his mate。
¨Iˇll take the air mattress and two cushions and a big drink。〃
¨What kind of drink？〃
¨Gin and coconut water with Angostura and lime。〃
¨A Tomini？〃 his mate said； pleased that he was drinking again。
¨Double quantity。〃
Henry threw the air mattress up and climbed after it with a book and a magazine。
¨Youˇre out of the wind here；〃 he said。 ¨Do you want me to open any of this canvas for ventilation？〃
¨Since when did I rate all this？〃
¨Tom； we talked of it and we all agreed that you need some rest。 Youˇve been driving yourself past what a man can stand。 You are past it now。〃
¨Shit；〃 said Thomas Hudson。
¨Maybe；〃 said Henry。 ¨I said I thought you were OK and could go quite a lot more and hold the pace。 But the others were worried and they convinced me。 You can deconvince me。 But take it easy now； Tom。〃
¨I never felt better。 I just donˇt give a damn。〃
¨Thatˇs what itˇs about。 You wonˇt come down off the bridge。 You want to stand all the watches steering。 And you donˇt give a damn about anything。〃
¨OK；〃 said Thomas Hudson。 ¨I get the…picture。 But I still command。〃
¨I didnˇt mean it in any bad way； truly。〃
¨Forget it；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Iˇm resting。 You know how to search a key； donˇt you？〃
¨I should。〃
¨See what there is on M？gano。〃
¨Thatˇs mine。 Willie and Ara have gone in already。 Iˇm just waiting with the other party for Antonio to come back with the dinghy。〃
¨How is Peters？〃
¨Heˇs been working hard on the big radio all afternoon。 He thinks he has it fixed OK。〃
¨That would be wonderful。 If Iˇm asleep； wake me as soon as you get back。〃
¨Yes； Tom。〃 Henry reached down and took something that was handed to him。 It was a big glass full of ice and a rusty…colored liquid and it was wrapped in a double thickness of paper towel held fast by a rubber band。
¨A double Tomini；〃 Henry said。 ¨Drink it and read and go to sleep。 You can put the glass in one of the big frag slots。〃
Thomas Hudson took a long sip。
¨I like it；〃 he said。
¨You used to。 Everything will be fine； Tom。〃
¨Everything we can do damn well better be。〃
¨Just get a good rest。〃
¨I will。〃
Henry went down and Thomas Hudson heard the hum of the outboard coming in。 It stopped and there was talking and then he heard the hum of it going away。 He waited a little； listening。 Then he took the drink and threw it high over the side and let the wind take it astern。 He settled the glass in the hole it fitted best in the triple rack and lay face down on the rubber mattress with his two arms around it。
I think they had wounded under the shelters； he thought。 Of course it could be to conceal many people。 But I do not believe that。 They would have come in here the first night。 I should have gone ashore。 I will from now on。 But Ara and Henry could not be better and Willie is very good。 I must try to be very good。 Try hard tonight； he told himself。 And chase hard and good and with no mistakes and do not overrun them。
VIII
HE FELT A HAND ON HIS SHOULDER。 It was Ara and he said； ¨We got one； Tom。 Willie and I。〃
Thomas Hudson swung down and Ara was with him。 The German lay on the stern wrapped in a blanket。 His head was on two cushions。 Peters was sitting on the deck beside him with a glass of water。
¨Look what we got；〃 he said。
The German was thin and there was a blond beard on his chin and on his sunken cheeks。 His hair was long and uncombed and in the late afternoon light； with the sun almost down； he looked like a saint。
¨He canˇt talk；〃 Ara said。 ¨Willie and I tried him。 You better keep to windward of him； too。〃
¨I smelled it coming down；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Ask him if he wants anything；〃 he said to Peters。
The radio operator spoke to him in German and the German looked toward him but he did not speak nor move his head。 Thomas Hudson heard the humming of the outboard motor； and looked across the bight at the dinghy coming out of the sunset。 It was loaded down to the water line。 He looked down at the German again。
¨Ask him how many they are。 Tell him we must know how many they are。 Tell him this is important。〃
Peters spoke to the German softly and it seemed to Thomas Hudson almost lovingly。
The German said three words with great effort。
¨He says nothing is important；〃 Peters said。
¨Tell him he is wrong。 I have to know。 Ask him if he wants morphine。〃
The German looked at Thomas Hudson kindly and said three words。
¨He says it doesnˇt hurt anymore；〃 Peters said。 He spoke rapidly in German and again Thomas Hudson caught the loving tone； or； perhaps it was only the loving sound of the language。
¨Shut up； Peters；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Translate only and exactly what I say。 Did you hear me？〃
¨Yes； sir；〃 Peters said。
¨Tell him I can make him tell。〃
Peters spoke to the German and he turned his eyes toward Thomas Hudson。 They were old eyes now but they were in a young manˇs face gone old as driftwood and nearly as gray。
¨Nein；〃 the German said slowly。
¨He says no；〃 Peters translated。
¨Yeah； I got that part of it；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Get him some warm soup； Willie； and bring some cognac。 Peters； ask him if he wouldnˇt like some morphine really if he doesnˇt have to talk。 Tell him we have plenty。〃
Peters translated and the German looked toward Thomas Hudson and smiled a thin； northern smile。
He spoke almost inaudibly to Peters。
¨He says thank you but he doesnˇt need it and itˇs better to save it。〃
Then he said something softly to Peters who translated； ¨He says he could have used it last week。〃
¨Tell him I admire him；〃 Thomas Hu
