hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第49章
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Later she said； ¨You donˇt mind how fond I am of him？〃
¨No。 Heˇs very proud。〃
¨Let me tell you a secret。〃
She told him a secret that did not come to him as a great surprise。
¨Is that very wicked？〃
¨No；〃 he said。 ¨Thatˇs jolly。〃
¨Oh Hudson；〃 she said。 ¨I love you very much。 Please go and make yourself comfortable in every way and then come back to me here。 Should we have a bottle of champagne at the Ritz？〃
¨That would be lovely。 What about your husband？〃
¨Heˇs still playing bridge。 I can see him through the window。 After he finishes he will look for us and join us。〃
So they had gone to the Ritz which was at the stern of the ship and had a bottle of Perrier…Jouet Brut 1915 and then another one and after a while the Prince had joined them。 The Prince was very nice and Hudson liked him。 They had been hunting in East Africa； as he had been； and he had met them at the Muthaiga Club and at Torrˇs in Nairobi and they had taken the same boat from Mombasa。 The ship was a round…the…world cruise ship which made a stop at Mombasa en route for Suez； the Mediterranean； and eventually Southampton。 It was a super luxury ship where all the cabins were private suites。 It had been sold out for the world cruise as ships were in those years but some of the passengers had left the ship in India and one of those men who know about everything had told Thomas Hudson in the Muthaiga Club that the ship was coming in with several vacancies and that passage on her might be had quite reasonably。 He had told the Prince and Princess； who had not enjoyed flying out to Kenya in those times when the Handley Pages were so slow and the flight so long and tiresome； and they had been delighted with the idea of the trip and the rates。
¨Weˇll have such a jolly trip and youˇre a wonderful chap to have found out about it；〃 the Prince had said。 ¨Iˇll ring them up about it in the morning。〃
It had been a jolly trip； too； with the Indian Ocean blue and the ship coming out slowly from the new harbor and then Africa was behind them； and the old white town with the great trees and all the green behind it； then the sea breaking on the long reef as they passed and then the ship gained speed and was in the open ocean and flying fish were splitting out of the water and ahead of the ship。 Africa dropped to a long blue line behind them and a steward was beating on a gong and he and the Prince and the Princess and the Baron； who was an old friend and lived out there and was really wicked； were having a dry martini in the bar。
¨Pay no attention to that gong and weˇll lunch in the Ritz；〃 the Baron said。 ¨Do you agree？〃
He had not slept with the princess on the ship although by the time they had reached Haifa they had done so many other things that they had both reached a sort of ecstasy of desperation that was so intense that they should have been required by law to sleep with each other until they could not stand it another time simply for the relief of their nerves； if for no other reason。 Instead； from Haifa they made a motor trip to Damascus。 On the way up； Thomas Hudson sat in the front seat with the chauffeur and the two of them sat in back。 Thomas Hudson saw a small part of the Holy Land and a small part of the T。 E。 Lawrence country and many cold hills and much desert on the way up； and on the way back they sat in the back and the Prince sat in front with the chauffeur。 Thomas Hudson saw the back of the Princeˇs head and the back of the chauffeurˇs head on the return trip and he remembered now that the road from Damascus to Haifa； where the ship was anchored in the harbor； runs down a river。 There is a steep gorge in the river but it is very small as it would be on a small…scale relief map and in the gorge there is an island。 He remembered the island better than anything on the trip。
The trip to Damascus did not help much and when they had left Haifa and the ship was headed out across the Mediterranean and they were up on the boat deck； that was cold now with a northeast wind； that was making a sea that the ship was beginning to buck slowly； she said to him； ¨We have to do something。〃
¨Do you like understatement？〃
¨No。 I want to go to bed and stay in it for a week。〃
¨A week doesnˇt sound very long。〃
¨A month then。 But we have to do it right away and right away we canˇt。〃
¨We can go down to the Baronˇs cabin。〃
¨No。 I do not want to do it until we can do it really without worrying。〃
¨How do you feel now？〃
¨As though I were going crazy and were already quite a way there 。。。〃
¨In Paris we can make love in a bed。〃
¨But how do I get away？ I have no experience of how to get away。〃
¨You go shopping。〃
¨But I have to go shopping with someone。〃
¨You can go shopping with someone。 Have you no one you can trust？〃
¨Oh yes。 But I so much did not want to ever have to do that。〃
¨Donˇt do it then。〃
¨No。 I must。 I know I must。 But that does not make it better。〃
¨Were you never unfaithful to him before？〃
¨No。 And I thought I never would be。 But now it is all that I want to do。 But it hurts me that anyone should know。〃
¨Weˇll figure out something。〃
¨Please put your arm around me and hold me very close against you；〃 she said。 ¨Please let us not talk； nor think； nor worry。 Please just hold your arm tight and love me very much because I ache now everywhere。〃
After a while he said to her； ¨Look； whenever you do this it is going to be as bad for you as now。 You donˇt want to be unfaithful and you donˇt want anyone to know。 But it will be like that whenever it happens。〃
¨I want to do it。 But I donˇt want to hurt him。 I have to do it。 Itˇs not in my hands any more。〃
¨Then do it。 Now。〃
¨But itˇs terribly dangerous now。〃
¨Do you think there is anyone on this ship that sees us and hears us and knows us that thinks we have not slept together？ Do you think the things we have done are any different from that？〃
¨Oh； of course they are different。 There is all the difference。 We couldnˇt have a baby from what we have done。〃
¨Youˇre wonderful；〃 he had said。 ¨You really are。〃
¨But if we have a baby Iˇll be glad。 He wants a baby very much and we never have one。 Iˇll sleep with him right away and heˇll never know it is ours。〃
¨I wouldnˇt sleep with him right away。〃
¨No I suppose not。 But the next night。〃
¨How long since you slept with him？〃
¨Oh I sleep with him every night。 I have to； Hudson。 I get so excited I have to。 I think thatˇs one reason he plays bridge until so late now。 Heˇd like me to be asleep when he comes in。 I think he is getting a little tired since we have been in love。〃
¨Is this the first time you have ever been in love since you married him？〃
¨No。 I am sorry。 But it is not。 I have been in love several times。 But I have never been unfaithful to him or even considered it。 He is so good and nice and such a good husband and I like him so much and he loves me and is always kind to me。〃
¨I think we had better go down to the Ritz and have some champagne；〃 Thomas Hudson had said。 His feelings were becoming very mixed。
The Ritz was deserted and a waiter brought them the wine at one of the tables against the wall。 They kept the Perrier…Jouet Brut （1915） on ice all of the time now and simply asked； ¨The same wine； Mr。 Hudson？〃
They raised their glasses to each other and the Princess said； ¨I love this wine。 Donˇt you？〃
¨Very much。〃
¨What are you thinking about？〃
¨You。〃
¨Naturally。 All I think about is you。 But what about me？〃
¨I was thinking we should go down to my cabin now。 We talk too much and fool around too much and do nothing。 What time have you？〃
¨Ten after eleven。〃
¨What time have you？〃 he called to the wine steward。
¨Eleven…fifteen； sir。〃 The steward looked at the clock inside the bar。
When the steward was out of earshot； he asked； ¨How late will he play bridge？〃
¨He said he would play late and for me not to stay awake for him。〃
¨Weˇll finish the wine and go to the cabin。 I have some there。〃
¨But Hudson； it is very dangerous。〃
¨It will always be dangerous；〃
