hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第35章
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most of the day。 All he used to talk about was how he was going to kill himself。 Made everybody nervous half the winter。 Constable warned him it was an illegal act。 I tried to get Constable to warn him that talking about it was an illegal act。 But Constable said heˇd have to get an opinion on that from Nassau。 After a while people sort of got used to his project and then a lot of the drinkers started siding with him。 Especially one day he was talking to Big Harry and he told Big Harry he was thinking of killing himself and he wanted to take somebody with him。
¨ ˉIˇm your man；ˇ Big Harry told him。 ˉIˇm who youˇve been looking for。ˇ So then Big Harry tries to encourage him that they should go to New York City and really pitch one and stay drunk until they couldnˇt stand it and then jump off of the highest part of the city straight into oblivion。 I think Big Harry figured oblivion was some sort of a suburb。 Probably an Irish neighborhood。
¨Well； the suicide gentleman took kindly to this idea and theyˇd talk it over every day。 Others tried to get in on it and proposed they form an excursion of death seekers and just go as far as Nassau for the preliminaries。 But Big Harry； he held out for New York City and finally he confided to the suicide gentleman that he couldnˇt stand this life no longer and he was ready to go。
¨Big Harry； he had to go out for a couple days crawfishing on a order he had from Captain Ralph and while he was gone the suicide gentleman took to drinking too much。 Then heˇd take some kind of ammonia from up north that would seem to sober him up and heˇd come down to drink here again。 But it was accumulating in him some way。
¨We all called him Suicides by then so I said to him； ˉSuicides； you better lay off or youˇll never live to reach oblivion。ˇ
¨ ˉIˇm bound for it now；ˇ he says。 ˉIˇm en route。 Iˇm headed for it。 Take the money for these drinks。 Iˇve made my dread decision。ˇ
¨ ˉHereˇs your change；ˇ I said to him。
¨ ˉI donˇt want no change。 Keep it for Big Harry so he can have a drink before he joins me。ˇ
¨So he goes out in a rush and he dives off of Johnny Blackˇs dock into the channel with the tide going out and itˇs dark and no moon and nobody sees him any more until he washes up on the point in two days。 Everybody looked for him good that night； too。 I figured he must have struck his head on some old concrete and went out with the tide。 Big Harry come in and he mourned him until the change was all drunk up。 It was change from a twenty…dollar bill too。 Then Big Harry said to me； ˉYou know； Bobby； I think old Suicides was crazy。ˇ He was right； too； because when his family sent for him the man who came explained to Commissioner old Suicides had suffered from a thing called Mechanicˇs Depressive。 You never had that； did you； Roger？〃
¨No；〃 said Roger。 ¨And now I think I never will。〃
¨Thatˇs the stuff；〃 Mr。 Bobby said。 ¨And donˇt you ever fool with that old oblivion stuff。〃
¨Fuck oblivion；〃 said Roger。
XI
LUNCH WAS EXCELLENT； the steak was browned outside and striped by the grill。 A knife slipped through the outer part and inside the meat was tender and juicy。 They all dipped up juice from their plates and put it on the mashed potatoes and the juice made a lake in their creamy whiteness。 The lima beans； cooked in butter； were firm； the cabbage lettuce was crisp and cold and the grapefruit was chilly cold。
Everyone was hungry with the wind and Eddy came up and looked in while they were eating。 His face looked very bad and he said； ¨What the hell do you think of meat like that？〃
¨Itˇs wonderful；〃 young Tom said。
¨Chew it good；〃 Eddy said。 ¨Donˇt waste that eating it fast。〃
¨You canˇt chew it much or itˇs gone；〃 young Tom told him。
¨Have we got dessert； Eddy？〃 David asked。
¨Sure。 Pie and ice cream。〃
¨Oh boy；〃 Andrew said。 ¨Two pieces？〃
¨Enough to founder you。 Ice creamˇs as hard as a rock。〃
¨What kind of pie？〃
¨Loganberry pie。〃
¨What kind of ice cream？〃
¨Coconut。〃
¨Whereˇd we get it？〃
¨Run…boat brought it。〃
They drank iced tea with the meal and Roger and Thomas Hudson had coffee after the dessert。
¨Eddyˇs a wonderful cook；〃 Roger said。
¨Some of itˇs appetite。〃
¨That steak wasnˇt appetite。 Nor that salad。 Nor that pie。〃
¨He is a fine cook；〃 Thomas Hudson agreed。 ¨Is the coffee all right？〃
¨Excellent。〃
¨Papa；〃 young Tom asked； ¨if the people on the yacht go to Mr。 Bobbyˇs can we go down and practice Andy being a rummy on them？〃
¨Mr。 Bobby might not like it。 He might get in bad with Constable。〃
¨Iˇll go down and tell Mr。 Bobby and Iˇll speak to Constable。 Heˇs a friend of ours。〃
¨All right。 You tell Mr。 Bobby and keep a look out for when the yacht people show up。 What will we do about Dave？〃
¨Canˇt we carry him？ Heˇd look good that way。〃
¨Iˇll put on Tomˇs sneakers and walk；〃 David said。 ¨Have you got it worked out； Tommy？〃
¨We can make it up as we go along；〃 young Tom said。 ¨Can you still turn your eyelids inside out？〃
¨Oh sure；〃 said David。
¨Donˇt do it now； please；〃 Andrew said。 ¨I donˇt want to be sick right after lunch。〃
¨For a dime Iˇd make you throw up now； horseman。〃
¨No please donˇt。 Later on I wonˇt mind。〃
¨Do you want me to go with you？〃 Roger asked young Tom。
¨Iˇd love it；〃 young Tom said。 ¨We can work it out together。〃
¨Letˇs go then；〃 Roger said。 ¨Why donˇt you take a nap； Davy？〃
¨I might；〃 said David。 ¨Iˇll read till I go to sleep。 What are you going to do； papa？〃
¨Iˇm going to work in the lee out on the porch。〃
¨Iˇll lie out there on the cot and watch you work。 Will you mind？〃
¨No。 Make me work better。〃
¨Weˇll be back；〃 Roger said。 ¨What about you； Andy？〃
¨Iˇd like to come and study it。 But I think I better not because the people might be there。〃
¨Thatˇs smart；〃 young Tom said。 ¨Youˇre smart； horseman。〃
They went off and Thomas Hudson worked all afternoon。 Andy watched for a while and then went out somewhere and David watched and read and did not talk。
Thomas Hudson wanted to paint the leap of the fish first because painting him in the water was going to be much more difficult and he made two sketches； neither of which he liked； and finally a third one that he did like。
¨Do you think that gets it； Davy？〃
¨Gee； papa； it looks wonderful。 But water comes up with him when he comes out； doesnˇt it？ I mean not just when he splashed back。〃
¨It must；〃 his father agreed。 ¨Because he has to burst the surface。〃
¨He came up so long。 A lot must have come up。 I suppose it really drips off him or pours off him if you could see it fast enough。 Is he on his way up or on his way down？〃
¨This is just the sketch。 I thought of him as just at the top。〃
¨I know itˇs just the sketch； papa。 You forgive me if I butt in。 I donˇt mean to act as though I knew。〃
¨I like you to tell me。〃
¨You know whoˇd know would be Eddy。 He sees faster than a camera and he remembers。 Donˇt you think Eddy is a great man？〃
¨Of course he is。〃
¨Practically nobody knows about Eddy。 Tommy does； of course。 I like Eddy better than anybody except you and Mr。 Davis。 He cooks just like he loved it and he knows so much and can do anything。 Look what he did with the shark and look how he went overboard yesterday after the fish。〃
¨And last night people beating him up because they didnˇt believe him。〃
¨But； papa； Eddy isnˇt tragic。〃
¨No。 Heˇs happy。〃
¨Even today after he was all beaten up he was happy。 And Iˇm sure he was happy that he went in after him。〃
¨Of course。〃
¨I wish Mr。 Davis was happy the way Eddy is。〃
¨Mr。 Davis is more complicated than Eddy。〃
¨I know it。 But I can remember when he used to be careless happy。 I know Mr。 Davis very well； papa。〃
Heˇs pretty happy now。 I know heˇs lost the carelessness though。〃
¨I didnˇt mean a bad carelessness。〃
¨I didnˇt； either。 But there is some sort of a sureness that heˇs lost。〃
¨I know it；〃 David said。
¨I wish heˇd find it。 Maybe heˇll find it when
