hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第34章
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h that shallow draft。〃
Thomas Hudson looked out the open door and saw the handsome； white； houseboat type craft coming up the channel。 She was one of the type that chartered out of a Mainland port to go down through the Florida Keys and on a day such as yesterday； calm and flat； she could have crossed the Gulf Stream without incident。 But today she must have taken a beating with her shallow draft and so much superstructure。 Thomas Hudson wondered that she had been able to come in over the bar with the sea that was running。
The houseboat ran up the harbor a little further to anchor and Thomas Hudson and Bobby watched her from the doorway； all white and brass and everyone that showed on her in whites。
¨Customers；〃 Mr。 Bobby said。 ¨Hope theyˇre nice people。 We havenˇt had a full…sized yacht in here since the tuna run was over。〃
¨Who is she？〃
¨I never seen her before。 Pretty boat； all right。 Certainly not built for the Gulf； though。〃
¨She probably left at midnight when it was calm and this hit her on the way over。〃
¨Thatˇs about it；〃 Bobby said。 ¨Must have been some rolling and some crashing。 Itˇs really blowing。 Well； weˇll see who they are shortly。 Tom； let me make you something； boy。 You make me nervous not drinking。〃
¨All right。 Iˇll have a gin and tonic。〃
¨No tonic water。 Joe took the last case up to the house。〃
¨A whisky sour then。〃
¨With Irish whisky and no sugar；〃 Bobby said。 ¨Three of them。 Here comes Roger。〃 Thomas Hudson saw him through the open door。
Roger came in。 He was barefooted； wore a faded pair of dungarees； and an old striped fishermanˇs shirt that was shrunken from washings。 You could see the back muscles move under it as he leaned forward and put his arms on the bar。 In the dim light of Bobbyˇs； his skin showed very dark and his hair was salt… and sun…streaked。
¨Theyˇre still sleeping；〃 he said to Thomas Hudson。 ¨Somebody beat up Eddy。 Did you see？〃
¨He was having fights all last night；〃 Bobby told him。 ¨They didnˇt amount to anything。〃
¨I donˇt like things to happen to Eddy；〃 Roger said。
¨Wasnˇt anything bad； Roger；〃 Bobby assured him。 ¨He was drinking and fighting people who wouldnˇt believe him。 Nobody did anything wrong to him。〃
¨I feel bad about David；〃 Roger said to Thomas Hudson。 ¨We shouldnˇt have ever let him do it。〃
¨Heˇs probably all right；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨He was sleeping well。 But it was my responsibility。 I was the one to call it off。〃
¨No。 You trusted me。〃
¨The father has the responsibility；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨And I turned it over to you when I had no right to。 It isnˇt anything to delegate。〃
¨But I took it；〃 Roger said。 ¨I didnˇt think it was harming him。 Neither did Eddy。〃
¨I know；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨I didnˇt think it was either。 I thought something else was at stake。〃
¨So did I；〃 Roger said。 ¨But now I feel selfish and guilty as hell。〃
¨Iˇm his father；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨It was my fault。〃
¨Damn bad thing about that fish；〃 Bobby said； handing them the whisky sours and taking one himself。 ¨Letˇs drink to a bigger one。〃
¨No；〃 Roger said。 ¨I donˇt want to ever see a bigger one。〃
¨Whatˇs the matter with you； Roger？〃 Bobby asked。
¨Nothing；〃 Roger said。
¨Iˇm going to paint a couple of pictures of him for David。〃
¨Thatˇs wonderful。 Do you think you can get it？〃
¨With luck； maybe。 I can see it and I think I know how to do it。〃
¨You can do it all right。 You can do anything。 I wonder whoˇs on the yacht？〃
¨Look； Roger； youˇve been walking your remorse all over the island〃
¨Barefooted；〃 he said。
¨I just brought mine down here by way of Captain Ralphˇs run…boat。〃
¨I couldnˇt walk mine out and Iˇm certainly not going to try to drink it out；〃 Roger said。 ¨This is a mighty nice drink though； Bobby。〃
¨Yes sir；〃 Bobby said。 ¨Iˇll make you another one。 Get that old remorse on the run。〃
¨I had no business gambling with a kid；〃 Roger said。 ¨Somebody elseˇs boy。〃
¨It depends on what you were gambling for。〃
¨No； it doesnˇt。 You shouldnˇt gamble with kids。〃
¨I know。 I know what I was gambling for。 It wasnˇt a fish； either。〃
¨Sure；〃 Roger said。 ¨But it was the one you didnˇt need to do it to。 The one you didnˇt need to ever let anything like that happen to。〃
¨Heˇll be fine when he wakes up。 Youˇll see。 Heˇs a very intact boy。〃
¨Heˇs my goddamed hero；〃 Roger said。
¨Thatˇs a damned sight better than when you used to be your own goddamed hero。〃
¨Isnˇt it？〃 Roger said。 ¨Heˇs yours； too。〃
¨I know it；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Heˇs good for both of us。〃
¨Roger；〃 Mr。 Bobby said。 ¨Are you and Tom any sort of kin？〃
¨Why？〃
¨I thought you were。 You donˇt look too different。〃
¨Thanks；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Thank him yourself； Roger。〃
¨Thank you very much； Bobby；〃 Roger said。 ¨Do you really think I look like this combination man and painter？〃
¨You look like quarter brothers and the boys look like both of you。〃
¨Weˇre no kin；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨We just used to live in the same town and make some of the same mistakes。〃
¨Well； the hell with it；〃 Mister Bobby said。 ¨Drink up and quit all this remorse talk。 It donˇt sound good this time of day in a bar。 I got remorse from Negroes； mates on charter boats； cooks off yachts； millionaires and their wives； big rum runners； grocery store people； one…eyed men off turtle boats； sons of bitches； anybody。 Donˇt letˇs have no morning remorse。 A big wind is the time to drink。 Weˇre through with remorse。 That remorse is old stuff anyway。 Since they got the radio everybody just listens to the BBC。 There ainˇt no time and no room for remorse。〃
¨Do you listen to it； Bobby？〃
¨Just to Big Ben。 The rest of it makes me restless。〃
¨Bobby；〃 Roger said。 ¨Youˇre a great and good man。〃
¨Neither。 But Iˇm certainly pleased to see you looking more cheerful。〃
¨I am；〃 said Roger。 ¨What sort of people do you think weˇll get off that yacht？〃
¨Customers；〃 said Bobby。 ¨Letˇs drink one more so Iˇll feel like serving them； however they are。〃
While Bobby was squeezing the limes and making the drinks Roger said to Thomas Hudson； ¨I didnˇt mean to be wet about Davy。〃
¨You werenˇt。〃
¨What I meant was。 Oh hell； Iˇll try to work it out simply。 That was a sound crack you made about when I was my own hero。〃
¨Iˇve got no business making cracks。〃
¨You have as far as Iˇm concerned。 The trouble is there hasnˇt been anything in life that was simple for such a damn long time and I try to make it simple all the time。〃
¨Youˇre going to write straight and simple and good now。 Thatˇs the start。〃
¨What if Iˇm not straight and simple and good？ Do you think I can write that way？〃
¨Write how you are but make it straight。〃
¨Iˇve got to try to understand it better； Tom。〃
¨You are。 Remember last time I saw you before this summer was in New York with that cigarette…butt bitch。〃
¨She killed herself；〃 Roger said。
¨When？〃
¨While I was up in the hills。 Before I went on to the Coast and wrote that picture。〃
¨Iˇm sorry；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨She was headed for it all the time；〃 Roger said。 ¨Iˇm glad I stepped out in time。〃
¨You wouldnˇt ever do that。〃
¨I donˇt know；〃 Roger said。 ¨Iˇve seen it look very logical。〃
¨One reason you wouldnˇt do it is because it would be a hell of an example for the boys。 How would Dave feel？〃
¨Heˇd probably understand。 Anyway when you get into that business that far you donˇt think much about examples。〃
¨Now you are talking wet。〃
Bobby pushed over the drinks。 ¨Roger； you talk that kind of stuff you get even me depressed。 Iˇm paid to listen to anything people say。 But I donˇt want to hear my friends talk that way。 Roger； you stop it。〃
¨Iˇve stopped it。〃
¨Good；〃 Bobby said。 ¨Drink up。 We had a gentleman here from New York lived down at the Inn and he used to come here and drink most of the day。 All he used to talk about was how he was going to kill himself。 Made everybody ner
