hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第32章
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¨Iˇll tell you sometime how it was；〃 David said。
¨Tell now；〃 Andy urged him。
¨Iˇm tired now and besides it sounds crazy。〃
¨Tell now。 Tell a little bit；〃 Andrew said。
¨I donˇt know whether I better。 Should I； papa？〃
¨Go ahead；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Well；〃 David said with his eyes tight shut。 ¨In the worst parts； when I was the tiredest I couldnˇt tell which was him and which was me。〃
¨I understand；〃 Roger said。
¨Then I began to love him more than anything on earth。〃
¨You mean really love him？〃 Andrew asked。
¨Yeah。 Really love him。〃
¨Gee；〃 said Andrew。 ¨I canˇt understand that。〃
¨I loved him so much when I saw him coming up that I couldnˇt stand it；〃 David said； his eyes still shut。 ¨All I wanted was to see him closer。〃
¨I know；〃 Roger said。
¨Now I donˇt give a shit I lost him；〃 David said。 ¨I donˇt care about records。 I just thought I did。 Iˇm glad that heˇs all right and that Iˇm all right。 We arenˇt enemies。〃
¨Iˇm glad you told us；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Thank you very much； Mr。 Davis； for what you said when I first lost him；〃 David said with his eyes still shut。
Thomas Hudson never knew what it was that Roger had said to him。
X
THAT NIGHT IN THE HEAVY CALM before the wind rose Thomas Hudson sat in his chair and tried to read。 The others were all in bed but he knew he could not sleep and he wanted to read until he was sleepy。 He could not read and he thought about the day。 He thought about it from the beginning until the end and it seemed as though all of his children except Tom had gone a long way away from him or he had gone away from them。
David had gone with Roger。 He wanted David to get everything he could from Roger； who was as beautiful and sound in action as he was unbeautiful and unsound in his life and in his work。 David was always a mystery to Thomas Hudson。 He was a well…loved mystery。 But Roger understood him better than his own father did。 He was happy they did understand each other so well but tonight he felt lonely in some way about it。
Then he had not liked the way Andrew had behaved； although he knew Andrew was Andrew and a little boy and that it was unfair to judge him。 He had done nothing bad and he had really behaved very well。 But there was something about him that you could not trust。
What a miserable； selfish way to be thinking about people that you love； he thought。 Why donˇt you remember the day and not analyze it and tear it to pieces？ Go to bed now； he told himself； and make yourself sleep。 The hell with anything else。 And pick up the rhythm of your life in the morning。 You donˇt have the boys for much longer。 See how happy a time you can make for them。 Iˇve tried； he said to himself。 Iˇve tried truly and for Roger； too。 And you have been very happy yourself； he told himself。 Yes； of course。 But something about today frightened me。 Then he told himself： truly； there is something about every day to frighten you。 Go on to bed and maybe youˇll sleep well。 Remember you want them to be happy tomorrow。
A big southwest wind came up in the night and by daylight it was slowing with almost the force of a gale。 The palms were bent with it and shutters slammed and papers blew and a surf was piling on the beach。
Roger was gone when Thomas Hudson came down to breakfast alone。 The boys were still sleeping and he read his mail that had come from the mainland on the run…boat that brought ice； meat； fresh vegetables； gas； and other supplies once a week。 It was blowing so hard he put a coffee cup on a letter to hold it when he laid it down on the table。
¨Want me to shut the doors？〃 Joseph asked。
¨No。 Only if things start to break。〃
¨Mr。 Roger gone walking on the beach；〃 Joseph said。 ¨Headed up toward the end of the island。〃
Thomas Hudson kept on reading his mail。
¨Hereˇs the paper；〃 Joseph said。 ¨I ironed her out。〃
¨Thank you； Joseph。〃
¨Mister Tom； is it true about the fish？ What Eddy was telling me？〃
¨What did he say？〃
¨About how big he was and having him right up to the gaff。〃
¨Itˇs true。〃
¨God Almighty。 If that run…boat hadnˇt come so I had to stay in to carry ice and groceries Iˇd have been along。 Iˇd have dove right in after him and gaffed him。〃
¨Eddy dove in；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨He didnˇt tell me；〃 Joseph said； subdued。
¨Iˇd like some more coffee； please； Joseph； and another piece of papaw；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 He was hungry and the wind gave him even more appetite。 ¨Didnˇt the run…boat bring any bacon？〃
¨I believe I can find some；〃 Joseph said。 ¨Youˇre eating good this morning。〃
¨Ask Eddy to come in please。〃
¨Eddy went home to fix his eye。〃
¨What happened to his eye？〃
¨Somebody balled their fist in it。〃
Thomas Hudson believed he knew why this might have happened。
¨Is he hurt anywhere else？〃
¨Heˇs beat pretty bad；〃 Joseph said。 ¨On account of people not believing him in different bars。 People ainˇt never going to believe him that story he tells。 Certainly is a pity。〃
¨Whereˇd he fight？〃
¨Everywhere。 Everywhere where they wouldnˇt believe him。 Nobody believe him yet。 People took to not believing him late at night that didnˇt know what it was about even just to get him to fight。 He must have fought all the fighting men on the island。 Tonight； sure as you eating breakfast； menˇll come up from Middle Key just to doubt his word。 Couple real bad fighting men down at Middle Key now on that construction。〃
¨Mr。 Roger better go out with him；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨Oh boy；〃 Josephˇs face lighted up。 ¨Tonightˇs the night we got fun。〃
Thomas Hudson drank the coffee and ate the cold papaw with fresh lime squeezed over it and four more strips of bacon that Joseph brought in。
¨I see you were in an eating mood；〃 Joseph said。 ¨When I see you like that； I want to make something out of it。〃
¨I eat plenty。〃
¨Sometimes；〃 Joseph said。
He came in with another cup of coffee and Thomas Hudson took it up to his desk to answer the two letters he needed to get off in the mail boat。
¨Go up to Eddyˇs house and get him to make out the list of what we need to order by the run…boat；〃 he said to Joseph。 ¨Then bring it to me to check。 Is there coffee for Mr。 Roger？〃
¨He had his；〃 Joseph said。
Thomas Hudson finished the two letters at the work desk upstairs and Eddy came over with the list of supplies for the next weekˇs run…boat。 Eddy looked bad enough。 His eye had not responded to treatment and his mouth and cheeks were swollen。 One ear was swollen； too。 He had put Mercurochrome on his mouth where it was cut and the bright color made him look very untragic。
¨I didnˇt do any good last night；〃 he said。 ¨I think everything is on here； Tom。〃
¨Why donˇt you lay off today and go home and take it easy？〃
¨I feel worse at home；〃 he said。 ¨Iˇll go to bed early tonight。〃
¨Donˇt get in any more fights about that；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨It doesnˇt do any good。〃
¨Youˇre talking to the right man；〃 Eddy said through the scarlet of his split and swollen lips。 ¨I kept waiting for truth and right to win and then somebody new would knock truth and right right on its ass。〃
¨Joseph said you had a lot of them。〃
¨Till somebody took me home；〃 Eddy said。 ¨Big…hearted Benny I guess it was。 He and Constable probably saved me from getting hurt。〃
¨You arenˇt hurt？〃
¨I hurt but I ainˇt hurt。 Hell； you ought to have been there； Tom。〃
¨Iˇm glad I wasnˇt。 Did anybody try to really hurt you？〃
¨I donˇt think so。 They were just proving to me I was wrong。 Constable believed me。〃
¨Did he？〃
¨Yes sir。 Him and Bobby。 Only people believed me； all right。 Constable said any man who hit me first heˇd lock him up。 Asked me this morning if there was anybody hit me first。 I told him yes but I hit at them first。 It was a bad night for truth and right； Tom。 Bad night all right。〃
¨Do you really want to cook lunch？〃
¨Why not？〃 Eddy said。 ¨Weˇve got steaks on the run…boat。 Real sirloin steak。 You ought to see her。 I figured to have it with mashed potatoes and gravy and some lima beans。 We go
