hemingway, ernest - islands in the stream-第11章
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¨Youˇre mean enough to shoot a man in the back but you havenˇt got the guts；〃 Roger spoke over his shoulder very quietly； ¨Go put the gun away and go to bed。〃
Roger still sat there with his back toward the man。 Then he took what Thomas Hudson thought was an awful chance。
¨Doesnˇt he remind you just a little bit of Lady Macbeth coming out there in his nightclothes？〃 he asked the three others in the stern。
Thomas Hudson waited for it then。 But nothing happened and after a while the man turned and went down into the cabin taking the shotgun with him。
¨I feel very； very much better；〃 Roger said。 ¨I could feel that sweat run clean down from my armpit and onto my leg。 Letˇs go home； Tom。 Manˇs OK。〃
¨Not too awfully OK；〃 Johnny said。
¨OK enough；〃 Roger said。 ¨What a human being that is。〃
¨Come on； Roger；〃 Thomas Hudson said。 ¨Come on up to my place for a while。〃
¨All right。〃
They said good night to John and walked up the Kingˇs Highway toward the house。 There was still plenty of celebrating going on。
¨Do you want to go into the Ponce？〃 Thomas Hudson asked。
¨Hell no；〃 Roger said。
¨I thought Iˇd tell Freddy the manˇs OK。〃
¨You tell him。 Iˇll go on to your house。〃
When Thomas Hudson got home Roger was lying face down on a bed in the far up…island end of the screen porch。 It was dark and you could just barely hear the noise of the celebrating。
¨Sleeping？〃 Thomas Hudson asked him。
¨No。〃
¨Would you like a drink？〃
¨I donˇt think so。 Thanks。〃
¨Howˇs the hand？〃
¨Just swelled and sore。 Itˇs nothing。〃
¨You feeling low again？〃
¨Yes。 Iˇve got it bad。〃
¨The kids will be here in the morning。〃
¨That will be fine。〃
¨Youˇre sure you wouldnˇt like a drink？〃
¨No； kid。 But you have one。〃
¨Iˇll have a whisky and soda to go to sleep on。〃
Thomas Hudson went to the icebox； mixed the drink； and came back out to the screened porch and sat there in the dark with Roger lying on the bed。
¨You know； thereˇs an awful lot of real bastards loose；〃 Roger said。 ¨That guy was no good； Tom。〃
¨You taught him something。〃
¨No。 I donˇt think so。 I humiliated him and I ruined him a little。 But heˇll take it out on someone else。〃
¨He brought it on。〃
¨Sure。 But I didnˇt finish it。〃
¨You did everything but kill him。〃
¨Thatˇs what I mean。 Heˇll just be worse now。〃
¨I think maybe you taught him a hell of a lesson。〃
¨No。 I donˇt think so。 It was the same thing out on the coast。〃
¨What really happened？ You havenˇt told me anything since you got back。〃
¨It was a fight； sort of like this one。〃
¨Who with？〃
He named a man who was very high up in what is known as the industry。
¨I didnˇt want any part of it；〃 Roger said。 ¨It was out at the house where I was having some woman trouble and I suppose； technically； I shouldnˇt have been there。 But that night I took it and took it and took it from this character。 Much worse than tonight。 Finally I just couldnˇt take it any more and I gave it to him； really gave it to him without thinking about anything； and his head hit wrong on the marble steps going down to the pool。 This was all by the pool。 He came out of it at the Cedars of Lebanon finally about the third day and so I missed manslaughter。 But they had it all set。 With the witnesses they had Iˇd have been lucky to get that。〃
¨So then what？〃
¨So then； after heˇs back on the job； I get the real frameroo。 The full…sized one。 Complete with handles。〃
¨What was it？〃
¨Everything。 In series。〃
¨Want to tell me？〃
¨No。 It wouldnˇt be useful to you。 Just take my word for it that it was a frame。 Itˇs so awful nobody mentions it。 Havenˇt you noticed？〃
¨Sort of。〃
¨So I wasnˇt feeling so good about tonight。 Thereˇs a lot of wickeds at large。 Really bads。 And hitting them is no solution。 I think thatˇs one reason why they provoke you。〃 He turned over on the bed and lay face up。 ¨You know evil is a hell of a thing； Tommy。 And itˇs smart as a pig。 You know they had something in the old days about good and evil。〃
¨Plenty of people wouldnˇt classify you as a straight good；〃 Thomas Hudson told him。
¨No。 Nor do I claim to be。 Nor even good nor anywhere near good。 I wish I were though。 Being against evil doesnˇt make you good。 Tonight I was against it and then I was evil myself。 I could feel it coming in just like a tide。〃
¨All fights are bad。〃
¨I know it。 But what are you going to do about them？〃
¨You have to win them when they start。〃
¨Sure。 But I was taking pleasure in it from the minute it started。〃
¨You would have taken more pleasure if he could have fought。〃
¨I hope so；〃 Roger said。 ¨Though I donˇt know now。 I just want to destroy them。 But when you start taking pleasure in it you are awfully close to the thing youˇre fighting。〃
¨He was an awful type；〃 Thomas Hudson said。
¨He couldnˇt have been any worse than the last one on the coast。 The trouble is； Tommy； there are so many of them。 They have them in all countries and they are getting bigger all the time。 Times arenˇt good； Tommy。〃
¨When did you ever see them good？〃
¨We always had good times。〃
¨Sure。 We had good times in all sorts of good places。 But the times werenˇt good。〃
¨I never knew；〃 Roger said。 ¨Everybody claimed they were good and then everybody was busted。 I didnˇt have any money when they all had it。 Then when I had some was when things were really bad。 But people didnˇt always seem as goddamned mean and evil though。〃
¨Youˇve been going around with awful people； too。〃
¨I see some good ones once in a while。〃
¨Not very many。〃
¨Sure I do。 You donˇt know all my friends。〃
¨You run with a pretty seedy lot。〃
¨Whose friends were those tonight？ Your friends or my friends？〃
¨Our friends。 Theyˇre not so bad。 Theyˇre worthless but theyˇre not really evil。〃
¨No；〃 said Roger。 ¨I guess not。 Frank is pretty bad。 Bad enough。 I donˇt think heˇs evil though。 But thereˇs a lot of stuff I canˇt take anymore。 And he and Fred eviled up awfully fast。〃
¨I know about good and evil。 Iˇm not trying to misunderstand nor play dumb。〃
¨I donˇt know much about good because Iˇve always been a failure at it。 That evil is my dish。 I can recognize that old evil。〃
¨Iˇm sorry tonight turned out so lousy。〃
¨Iˇm just feeling low。〃
¨Do you want to turn in？ You better sleep here。〃
¨Thanks。 I will if you donˇt mind。 But I think Iˇll go in the library and read for a while。 Where are those Australian stories you had the last time I was here？〃
¨Henry Lawsonˇs？〃
¨Yes。〃
¨Iˇll get them。〃
Thomas Hudson went to bed and when he woke in the night the light was still on in the library。
V
WHEN THOMAS HUDSON WOKE there was a light east breeze blowing and out across the flats the sand was bone white under the blue sky and the small high clouds that were traveling with the wind made dark moving patches on the green water。 The wheel of the wind charger was turning in the breeze and it was a fine fresh…feeling morning。
Roger was gone and Thomas Hudson breakfasted by himself and read the Mainland paper that had come across yesterday。 He had put it away without reading it to save it for breakfast。
¨What time the boys coming in？〃 Joseph asked。
¨Around noon。〃
¨Theyˇll be here for lunch though？〃
¨Yes。〃
¨Mr。 Roger was gone when I came；〃 Joseph said。 ¨He didnˇt have any breakfast。〃
¨Maybe heˇll be in now。〃
¨Boy said he see him go off sculling in the dinghy。〃
After Thomas Hudson had finished breakfast and the paper he went out on the porch on the ocean side and went to work。 He worked well and was nearly finished when he heard Roger come in and come up the stairs。
Roger looked over his shoulder and said； ¨Itˇs going to be good。〃
¨Maybe。〃
¨Where did you see those waterspouts？〃
¨I never saw these。 These are some Iˇm doing to order。 Howˇs your hand？〃
¨Still puffy。〃
Roger watched him work and he did not turn around。
¨If it wasnˇt for the hand that would all seem just l
