hunting the grisly and other sketches-第39章

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drifted　down　to　New　Mexico　to　be　made　a　justice　of　the　peace。　Simpson
laughed　and　continued：

〃That　Fowler　was　a　funny　fellow。　The　Turk；　he　committed　Fowler；　and
Fowler；　he　riz　up　and　knocked　him　down　and　tromped　all　over　him　and
made　him　let　him　go！〃

〃That　was　an　appeal　to　a　higher　law；〃　I　observed。　Simpson　assented
cheerily；　and　continued：

〃Well；　that　Turk；　he　got　nervous　for　fear　Fowler　he　was　goin'　to　kill
him；　and　so　he　comes　to　me　and　offers　me　twenty…five　dollars　a　day　to
protect　him　from　Fowler；　and　I　went　to　Fowler；　and　'Fowler；'　says　I；
'that　Turk's　offered　me　twenty…five　dollars　a　day　to　protect　him　from
you。　Now；　I　ain't　goin'　to　get　shot　for　no　twenty…five　dollars　a　day；
and　if　you　are　goin'　to　kill　the　Turk；　just　say　so　and　go　and　do　it；
but　if　you　ain't　goin'　to　kill　the　Turk；　there's　no　reason　why　I
shouldn't　earn　that　twenty…five　dollars　a　day！'　and　Fowler；　says　he；
'I　ain't　goin'　to　touch　the　Turk；　you　just　go　right　ahead　and　protect
him。'　〃

So　Simpson　〃protected〃　the　Turk　from　the　imaginary　danger　of　Fowler；
for　about　a　week；　at　twenty…five　dollars　a　day。　Then　one　evening　he
happened　to　go　out　and　met　Fowler；　〃and；〃　said　he；　〃the　moment　I　saw
him　I　knowed　he　felt　mean；　for　he　begun　to　shoot　at　my　feet；〃　which
certainly　did　seem　to　offer　presumptive　evidence　of　meanness。　Simpson
continued：

〃I　didn't　have　no　gun；　so　I　just　had　to　stand　there　and　take　it　util
something　distracted　his　attention；　and　I　went　off　home　to　get　my　gun
and　kill　him；　but　I　wanted　to　do　it　perfectly　lawful；　so　I　went　up　to
the　mayor　（he　was　playin'　poker　with　one　of　the　judges）；　and　says　I　to
him；　'Mr。　Mayor；'　says　I；　'I　am　goin'　to　shoot　Fowler。　And　the　mayor
he　riz　out　of　his　chair　and　he　took　me　by　the　hand；　and　says　he；　'Mr。
Simpson；　if　you　do　I　will　stand　by　you；'　and　the　judge；　he　says；　'I'll
go　on　your　bond。'　〃

Fortified　by　this　cordial　approval　of　the　executive　and　judicial
branches　of　the　government；　Mr。　Simpson　started　on　his　quest。
Meanwhile；　however；　Fowler　had　cut　up　another　prominent　citizen；　and
they　already　had　him　in　jail。　The　friends　of　law　and　order　feeling
some　little　distrust　as　to　the　permanency　of　their　own　zeal　for
righteousness；　thought　it　best　to　settle　the　matter　before　there　was
time　for　cooling；　and　accordingly；　headed　by　Simpson；　the　mayor；　the
judge；　the　Turk；　and　other　prominent　citizens　of　the　town；　they　broke
into　the　jail　and　hanged　Fowler。　The　point　in　the　hanging　which
especially　tickled　my　friend's　fancy；　as　he　lingered　over　the
reminiscence；　was　one　that　was　rather　too　ghastly　to　appeal　to　our　own
sense　of　humor。　In　the　Turk's　mind　there　still　rankled　the　memory　of
Fowler's　very　unprofessional　conduct　while　figuring　before　him　as　a
criminal。　Said　Simpson；　with　a　merry　twinkle　of　the　eye：　〃Do　you　know
that　Turk；　he　was　a　right　funny　fellow　too　after　all。　Just　as　the　boys
were　going　to　string　up　Fowler；　says　he；　'Boys；　stop；　one　moment；
gentlemen；Mr。　Fowler；　good…by；'　and　he　blew　a　kiss　to　him！〃

In　the　cow…country；　and　elsewhere　on　the　wild　borderland　between
savagery　and　civilization；　men　go　quite　as　often　by　nicknames　as　by
those　to　which　they　are　lawfully　entitled。　Half　the　cowboys　and
hunters　of　my　acquaintance　are　known　by　names　entirely　unconnected
with　those　they　inherited　or　received　when　they　were　christened。
Occasionally　some　would…be　desperado　or　make…believe　mighty　hunter
tries　to　adopt　what　he　deems　a　title　suitable　to　his　prowess；　but　such
an　effort　is　never　attempted　in　really　wild　places；　where　it　would　be
greeted　with　huge　derision；　for　all　of　these　names　that　are　genuine
are　bestowed　by　outsiders；　with　small　regard　to　the　wishes　of　the
person　named。　Ordinarily　the　name　refers　to　some　easily　recognizable
accident　of　origin；　occupation；　or　aspect；　as　witness　the　innumerable
Dutcheys；　Frencheys；　Kentucks；　Texas　Jacks；　Bronco　Bills；　Bear　Joes；
Buckskins；　Red　Jims；　and　the　like。　Sometimes　it　is　apparently
meaningless；　one　of　my　own　cowpuncher　friends　is　always　called
〃Sliver〃　or　〃Splinter〃why；　I　have　no　idea。　At　other　times　some
particular　incident　may　give　rise　to　the　title；　a　clean…looking　cowboy
formerly　in　my　employ　was　always　known　as　〃Muddy　Bill；〃　because　he　had
once　been　bucked　off　his　horse　into　a　mud　hole。

The　grewsome　genesis　of　one　such　name　is　given　in　the　following　letter
which　I　have　just　received　from　an　old　hunting…friend　in　the　Rockies；
who　took　a　kindly　interest　in　a　frontier　cabin　which　the　Boone　and
Crockett　Club　was　putting　up　at　the　Chicago　World's　Fair。

　〃Feb　16th　1893；　Der　Sir：　I　see　in　the　newspapers　that　your　club　the
　　Daniel　Boon　and　Davey　Crockit　you　intend　to　erect　a　fruntier　Cabin
　　at　the　world's　Far　at　Chicago　to　represent　the　erley　Pianears　of
　　our　country　I　would　like　to　see　you　maik　a　success　I　have　all　my
　　life　been　a　fruntiersman　and　feel　interested　in　your　undrtaking
　　and　I　hoap　you　wile　get　a　good　assortment　of　relicks　I　want　to
　　maik　one　suggestion　to　you　that　is　in　regard　to　getting　a　good　man
　　and　a　genuine　Mauntanner　to　take　charg　of　your　haus　at　Chicago　I
　　want　to　recommend　a　man　for　you　to　get　it　is　Liver…eating　Johnson
　　that　is　the　naim　he　is　generally　called　he　is　an　old　mauntneer　and
　　large　and　fine　looking　and　one　of　the　Best　Story　Tellers　in　the
　　country　and　Very　Polight　genteel　to　every　one　he　meets　I　wil　tel
　　you　how　he　got　that　naim　Liver…eating　in　a　hard　Fight　with　the
　　Black　Feet　Indians　thay　Faught　all　day　Johnson　and　a　few　Whites
　　Faught　a　large　Body　of　Indians　all　day　after　the　fight　Johnson　cam
　　in　contact　with　a　wounded　Indian　and　Johnson　was　aut　of　ammunition
　　and　thay　faught　it　out　with　thar　Knives　and　Johnson　got　away　with
　　the　Indian　and　in　the　fight　cut　the　livver　out　of　the　Indian　and
　　said　to　the　Boys　did　thay　want　any　Liver　to　eat　that　is　the　way　he
　　got　the　naim　of　Liver…eating　Johnson

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Yours　truly〃　etc。；　etc。

Frontiersmen　are　often　as　original　as　their　names；　and　the　originality
may　take　the　form　of　wild　savagery；　of　mere　uncouthness；　or　of　an　odd
combination　of　genuine　humor　with　simple　acceptance　of　facts　as　they
are。　On　one　occasion　I　expressed　some　surprise　in　learning　that　a
certain　Mrs。　P。　had　suddenly　married；　though　her　husband　was　alive　and
in　jail　in　a　neighboring　town；　and　received　for　answer：　〃Well；　you
see；　old　man　Pete　he　skipped　the　country；　and　left　his　widow　behind
him；　and　so　Bob　Evans　he　up　and　married　her！〃which　was　evidently
felt　to　be　a　proceeding　requiring　no　explanation　whatever。

In　the　cow…country　there　is　nothing　more　refreshing　than　the　light…
hearted　belief　entertained　by　the　average　man　to　the　effect　that　any
animal　which　by　main　force　has　been　saddled　and　ridden；　or　harnessed
and　driven　a　couple　of　times；　is　a　〃broke　horse。〃　My　present　foreman
is　firmly　wedded　to　this　idea；　as　well　as　to　its　complement；　the
belief　that　any　animal　with　hoofs；　before　any　vehicle　with　wheels；　can
be　driven　across　any　country。　One　summer　on　reaching　the　ranch　I　was
entertained　with　the　usual　accounts　of　the　adventures　and
misadventures　which　had　befallen　my　own　men　and　my　neighbors　since　I
had　been　out　last。　In　the　course　of　the　conversation　my　foreman
remarked：　〃We　had　a　great　time　out　here　about　six　weeks　ago。　There　was
a　professor　from　Ann　Arbor　come　out　with　his　wife　to　see　the　Bad
Lands；　and　they　asked　if　we　could　rig　them　up　a　team；　and　we　said　we
guessed　we　could；　and　Foley's　boy　and　I　did；　but　it　ran　away　with　him
and　broke　his　leg！　He　was　here　for　a　month。　I　guess　he　didn't　mind　it
though。〃　Of　this　I　was　less　certain；　forlorn　little　Medora　being　a
〃busted〃　cow…town；　concerning　which　I　once　heard　another　of　my　men
remark；　in　reply　to　an　inquisitive　commercial　traveller：　〃How　many
people　lives　here？　Elevencounting　the　chickenswhen　they're　all　in
town！〃

My　foreman　continued：　〃By　George；　there　was　something　that　professor
said　afterwards　that　made　me　feel　hot。　I　sent　word　up　to　him　by
Foley's　boy　that　seein'　as　how　it　had　come　out　we　wouldn't　charge　him
nothin'　for　the　rig；　and　that　professor　he　answered　that　he　was　glad
we　were　showing　him　some　sign　of　consideration；　for　he'd　begun　to
believe　he'd　fallen　int