the way of all flesh-第92章

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sudden　and　made　honest　women　of；　this　is　too　much　for　us　and　throws
us　off　our　perch；　what　we　wants　is　a　regular　friend　or　two；　who'll
just　keep　us　from　starving；　and　force　us　to　be　good　for　a　bit
together　now　and　again。　　That's　about　as　much　as　we　can　stand。　　He
may　have　the　children；　he　can　do　better　for　them　than　I　can；　and　as
for　his　money；　he　may　give　it　or　keep　it　as　he　likes；　he's　never
done　me　any　harm；　and　I　shall　let　him　alone；　but　if　he　means　me　to
have　it；　I　suppose　I'd　better　have　it。〃And　have　it　she　did。

〃And　I；〃　thought　Ernest　to　himself　again　when　the　arrangement　was
concluded；　〃am　the　man　who　thought　himself　unlucky！〃

I　may　as　well　say　here　all　that　need　be　said　further　about　Ellen。
For　the　next　three　years　she　used　to　call　regularly　at　Mr　Ottery's
every　Monday　morning　for　her　pound。　　She　was　always　neatly　dressed；
and　looked　so　quiet　and　pretty　that　no　one　would　have　suspected　her
antecedents。　　At　first　she　wanted　sometimes　to　anticipate；　but　after
three　or　four　ineffectual　attemptson　each　of　which　occasions　she
told　a　most　pitiful　storyshe　gave　it　up　and　took　her　money
regularly　without　a　word。　　Once　she　came　with　a　bad　black　eye；
〃which　a　boy　had　throwed　a　stone　and　hit　her　by　mistake〃；　but　on　the
whole　she　looked　pretty　much　the　same　at　the　end　of　the　three　years
as　she　had　done　at　the　beginning。　　Then　she　explained　that　she　was
going　to　be　married　again。　　Mr　Ottery　saw　her　on　this；　and　pointed
out　to　her　that　she　would　very　likely　be　again　committing　bigamy　by
doing　so。　　〃You　may　call　it　what　you　like；〃　she　replied；　〃but　I　am
going　off　to　America　with　Bill　the　butcher's　man；　and　we　hope　Mr
Pontifex　won't　be　too　hard　on　us　and　stop　the　allowance。〃　　Ernest
was　little　likely　to　do　this；　so　the　pair　went　in　peace。　　I　believe
it　was　Bill　who　had　blacked　her　eye；　and　she　liked　him　all　the
better　for　it。

From　one　or　two　little　things　I　have　been　able　to　gather　that　the
couple　got　on　very　well　together；　and　that　in　Bill　she　has　found　a
partner　better　suited　to　her　than　either　John　or　Ernest。　　On　his
birthday　Ernest　generally　receives　an　envelope　with　an　American
post…mark　containing　a　book…marker　with　a　flaunting　text　upon　it；　or
a　moral　kettle…holder；　or　some　other　similar　small　token　of
recognition；　but　no　letter。　　Of　the　children　she　has　taken　no
notice。



CHAPTER　LXXVIII



Ernest　was　now　well　turned　twenty…six　years　old；　and　in　little　more
than　another　year　and　a　half　would　come　into　possession　of　his
money。　　I　saw　no　reason　for　letting　him　have　it　earlier　than　the
date　fixed　by　Miss　Pontifex　herself；　at　the　same　time　I　did　not　like
his　continuing　the　shop　at　Blackfriars　after　the　present　crisis。　　It
was　not　till　now　that　I　fully　understood　how　much　he　had　suffered；
nor　how　nearly　his　supposed　wife's　habits　had　brought　him　to　actual
want。

I　had　indeed　noted　the　old　wan　worn　look　settling　upon　his　face；　but
was　either　too　indolent　or　too　hopeless　of　being　able　to　sustain　a
protracted　and　successful　warfare　with　Ellen　to　extend　the　sympathy
and　make　the　inquiries　which　I　suppose　I　ought　to　have　made。　　And
yet　I　hardly　know　what　I　could　have　done；　for　nothing　short　of　his
finding　out　what　he　had　found　out　would　have　detached　him　from　his
wife；　and　nothing　could　do　him　much　good　as　long　as　he　continued　to
live　with　her。

After　all　I　suppose　I　was　right；　I　suppose　things　did　turn　out　all
the　better　in　the　end　for　having　been　left　to　settle　themselvesat
any　rate　whether　they　did　or　did　not；　the　whole　thing　was　in　too
great　a　muddle　for　me　to　venture　to　tackle　it　so　long　as　Ellen　was
upon　the　scene；　now；　however；　that　she　was　removed；　all　my　interest
in　my　godson　revived；　and　I　turned　over　many　times　in　my　mind；　what
I　had　better　do　with　him。

It　was　now　three　and　a　half　years　since　he　had　come　up　to　London　and
begun　to　live；　so　to　speak；　upon　his　own　account。　　Of　these　years；
six　months　had　been　spent　as　a　clergyman；　six　months　in　gaol；　and
for　two　and　a　half　years　he　had　been　acquiring　twofold　experience　in
the　ways　of　business　and　of　marriage。　　He　had　failed；　I　may　say；　in
everything　that　he　had　undertaken；　even　as　a　prisoner；　yet　his
defeats　had　been　always；　as　it　seemed　to　me；　something　so　like
victories；　that　I　was　satisfied　of　his　being　worth　all　the　pains　I
could　bestow　upon　him；　my　only　fear　was　lest　I　should　meddle　with
him　when　it　might　be　better　for　him　to　be　let　alone。　　On　the　whole　I
concluded　that　a　three　and　a　half　years'　apprenticeship　to　a　rough
life　was　enough；　the　shop　had　done　much　for　him；　it　had　kept　him
going　after　a　fashion；　when　he　was　in　great　need；　it　had　thrown　him
upon　his　own　resources；　and　taught　him　to　see　profitable　openings
all　around　him；　where　a　few　months　before　he　would　have　seen　nothing
but　insuperable　difficulties；　it　had　enlarged　his　sympathies　by
making　him　understand　the　lower　classes；　and　not　confining　his　view
of　life　to　that　taken　by　gentlemen　only。　　When　he　went　about　the
streets　and　saw　the　books　outside　the　second…hand　book…stalls；　the
bric…a…brac　in　the　curiosity　shops；　and　the　infinite　commercial
activity　which　is　omnipresent　around　us；　he　understood　it　and
sympathised　with　it　as　he　could　never　have　done　if　he　had　not　kept　a
shop　himself。

He　has　often　told　me　that　when　he　used　to　travel　on　a　railway　that
overlooked　populous　suburbs；　and　looked　down　upon　street　after
street　of　dingy　houses；　he　used　to　wonder　what　kind　of　people　lived
in　them；　what　they　did　and　felt；　and　how　far　it　was　like　what　he　did
and　felt　himself。　　Now；　he　said　he　knew　all　about　it。　　I　am　not　very
familiar　with　the　writer　of　the　Odyssey　（who；　by　the　way；　I　suspect
strongly　of　having　been　a　clergyman）；　but　he　assuredly　hit　the　right
nail　on　the　head　when　he　epitomised　his　typical　wise　man　as　knowing
〃the　ways　and　farings　of　many　men。〃　　What　culture　is　comparable　to
this？　　What　a　lie；　what　a　sickly　debilitating　debauch　did　not
Ernest's　school　and　university　career　now　seem　to　him；　in　comparison
with　his　life　in　prison　and　as　a　tailor　in　Blackfriars。　　I　have
heard　him　say　he　would　have　gone　through　all　he　had　suffered　if　it
were　only　for　the　deeper　insight　it　gave　him　into　the　spirit　of　the
Grecian　and　the　Surrey　pantomimes。　　What　confidence　again　in　his　own
power　to　swim　if　thrown　into　deep　waters　had　not　he　won　through　his
experiences　during　the　last　three　years！

But；　as　I　have　said；　I　thought　my　godson　had　now　seen　as　much　of　the
under　currents　of　life　as　was　likely　to　be　of　use　to　him；　and　that
it　was　time　he　began　to　live　in　a　style　more　suitable　to　his
prospects。　　His　aunt　had　wished　him　to　kiss　the　soil；　and　he　had
kissed　it　with　a　vengeance；　but　I　did　not　like　the　notion　of　his
coming　suddenly　from　the　position　of　a　small　shopkeeper　to　that　of　a
man　with　an　income　of　between　three　and　four　thousand　a　year。　　Too
sudden　a　jump　from　bad　fortune　to　good　is　just　as　dangerous　as　one
from　good　to　bad；　besides；　poverty　is　very　wearing；　it　is　a　quasi…
embryonic　condition；　through　which　a　man　had　better　pass　if　he　is　to
hold　his　later　developments　securely；　but　like　measles　or　scarlet
fever　he　had　better　have　it　mildly　and　get　it　over　early。

No　man　is　safe　from　losing　every　penny　he　has　in　the　world；　unless
he　has　had　his　facer。　　How　often　do　I　not　hear　middle…aged　women　and
quiet　family　men　say　that　they　have　no　speculative　tendency；　THEY
never　had　touched；　and　never　would　touch；　any　but　the　very　soundest；
best　reputed　investments；　and　as　for　unlimited　liability；　oh　dear！
dear！　and　they　throw　up　their　hands　and　eyes。

Whenever　a　person　is　heard　to　talk　thus　he　may　be　recognised　as　the
easy　prey　of　the　first　adventurer　who　comes　across　him；　he　will
commonly；　indeed；　wind　up　his　discourse　by　saying　that　in　spite　of
all　his　natural　caution；　and　his　well　knowing　how　foolish
speculation　is；　yet　there　are　some　investments　which　are　called
speculative　but　in　reality　are　not　so；　and　he　will　pull　out　of　his
pocket　the　prospectus　of　a　Cornish　gold　mine。　　It　is　only　on　having
actually　lost　money　that　one　realises　what　an　awful　thing　the　loss
of　it　is；　and　finds　out　how　easily　it　is　lost　by　those　who　venture
out　of　the　middle　of　the　most　beaten　path。　　Ernest　had　had　h