the way of all flesh-第84章

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greater　experience　than　he　possessed　to　suspect　how　completely　she
had　fallen　from　her　first　estate。　　It　never　occurred　to　him　that　the
poor　condition　of　her　wardrobe　was　due　to　her　passion　for　ardent
spirits；　and　that　first　and　last　she　had　served　five　or　six　times　as
much　time　in　gaol　as　he　had。　　He　ascribed　the　poverty　of　her　attire
to　the　attempts　to　keep　herself　respectable；　which　Ellen　during
supper　had　more　than　once　alluded　to。　　He　had　been　charmed　with　the
way　in　which　she　had　declared　that　a　pint　of　beer　would　make　her
tipsy；　and　had　only　allowed　herself　to　be　forced　into　drinking　the
whole　after　a　good　deal　of　remonstrance。　　To　him　she　appeared　a　very
angel　dropped　from　the　sky；　and　all　the　more　easy　to　get　on　with　for
being　a　fallen　one。

As　he　walked　up　Fetter　Lane　with　her　towards　Laystall　Street；　he
thought　of　the　wonderful　goodness　of　God　towards　him　in　throwing　in
his　way　the　very　person　of　all　others　whom　he　was　most　glad　to　see；
and　whom；　of　all　others；　in　spite　of　her　living　so　near　him；　he
might　have　never　fallen　in　with　but　for　a　happy　accident。

When　people　get　it　into　their　heads　that　they　are　being　specially
favoured　by　the　Almighty；　they　had　better　as　a　general　rule　mind
their　p's　and　q's；　and　when　they　think　they　see　the　devil's　drift
with　more　special　clearness；　let　them　remember　that　he　has　had　much
more　experience　than　they　have；　and　is　probably　meditating　mischief。

Already　during　supper　the　thought　that　in　Ellen　at　last　he　had　found
a　woman　whom　he　could　love　well　enough　to　wish　to　live　with　and
marry　had　flitted　across　his　mind；　and　the　more　they　had　chatted　the
more　reasons　kept　suggesting　themselves　for　thinking　that　what　might
be　folly　in　ordinary　cases　would　not　be　folly　in　his。

He　must　marry　someone；　that　was　already　settled。　　He　could　not　marry
a　lady；　that　was　absurd。　　He　must　marry　a　poor　woman。　　Yes；　but　a
fallen　one？　　Was　he　not　fallen　himself？　　Ellen　would　fall　no　more。
He　had　only　to　look　at　her　to　be　sure　of　this。　　He　could　not　live
with　her　in　sin；　not　for　more　than　the　shortest　time　that　could
elapse　before　their　marriage；　he　no　longer　believed　in　the
supernatural　element　of　Christianity；　but　the　Christian　morality　at
any　rate　was　indisputable。　　Besides；　they　might　have　children；　and　a
stigma　would　rest　upon　them。　　Whom　had　he　to　consult　but　himself
now？　　His　father　and　mother　never　need　know；　and　even　if　they　did；
they　should　be　thankful　to　see　him　married　to　any　woman　who　would
make　him　happy　as　Ellen　would。　　As　for　not　being　able　to　afford
marriage；　how　did　poor　people　do？　　Did　not　a　good　wife　rather　help
matters　than　not？　　Where　one　could　live　two　could　do　so；　and　if
Ellen　was　three　or　four　years　older　than　he　waswell；　what　was
that？

Have　you；　gentle　reader；　ever　loved　at　first　sight？　　When　you　fell
in　love　at　first　sight；　how　long；　let　me　ask；　did　it　take　you　to
become　ready　to　fling　every　other　consideration　to　the　winds　except
that　of　obtaining　possession　of　the　loved　one？　　Or　rather；　how　long
would　it　have　taken　you　if　you　had　had　no　father　or　mother；　nothing
to　lose　in　the　way　of　money；　position；　friends；　professional
advancement；　or　what　not；　and　if　the　object　of　your　affections　was
as　free　from　all　these　impedimenta　as　you　were　yourself？

If　you　were　a　young　John　Stuart　Mill；　perhaps　it　would　have　taken
you　some　time；　but　suppose　your　nature　was　Quixotic；　impulsive；
altruistic；　guileless；　suppose　you　were　a　hungry　man　starving　for
something　to　love　and　lean　upon；　for　one　whose　burdens　you　might
bear；　and　who　might　help　you　to　bear　yours。　　Suppose　you　were　down
on　your　luck；　still　stunned　by　a　horrible　shock；　and　this　bright
vista　of　a　happy　future　floated　suddenly　before　you；　how　long　under
these　circumstances　do　you　think　you　would　reflect　before　you　would
decide　on　embracing　what　chance　had　thrown　in　your　way？

It　did　not　take　my　hero　long；　for　before　he　got　past　the　ham　and
beef　shop　near　the　top　of　Fetter　Lane；　he　had　told　Ellen　that　she
must　come　home　with　him　and　live　with　him　till　they　could　get
married；　which　they　would　do　upon　the　first　day　that　the　law
allowed。

I　think　the　devil　must　have　chuckled　and　made　tolerably　sure　of　his
game　this　time。



CHAPTER　LXXII



Ernest　told　Ellen　of　his　difficulty　about　finding　employment。

〃But　what　do　you　think　of　going　into　a　shop　for；　my　dear；〃　said
Ellen。　　〃Why　not　take　a　little　shop　yourself？〃

Ernest　asked　how　much　this　would　cost。　　Ellen　told　him　that　he　might
take　a　house　in　some　small　street；　say　near　the　〃Elephant　and
Castle；〃　for　17s。　or　18s。　a　week；　and　let　off　the　two　top　floors　for
10s。；　keeping　the　back　parlour　and　shop　for　themselves。　　If　he　could
raise　five　or　six　pounds　to　buy　some　second…hand　clothes　to　stock
the　shop　with；　they　could　mend　them　and　clean　them；　and　she　could
look　after　the　women's　clothes　while　he　did　the　men's。　　Then　he
could　mend　and　make；　if　he　could　get　the　orders。

They　could　soon　make　a　business　of　2　pounds　a　week　in　this　way；　she
had　a　friend　who　began　like　that　and　had　now　moved　to　a　better　shop；
where　she　made　5　pounds　or　6　pounds　a　week　at　leastand　she；　Ellen；
had　done　the　greater　part　of　the　buying　and　selling　herself。

Here　was　a　new　light　indeed。　　It　was　as　though　he　had　got　his　5000
pounds　back　again　all　of　a　sudden；　and　perhaps　ever　so　much　more
later　on　into　the　bargain。　　Ellen　seemed　more　than　ever　to　be　his
good　genius。

She　went　out　and　got　a　few　rashers　of　bacon　for　his　and　her
breakfast。　　She　cooked　them　much　more　nicely　than　he　had　been　able
to　do；　and　laid　breakfast　for　him　and　made　coffee；　and　some　nice
brown　toast。　　Ernest　had　been　his　own　cook　and　housemaid　for　the
last　few　days　and　had　not　given　himself　satisfaction。　　Here　he
suddenly　found　himself　with　someone　to　wait　on　him　again。　　Not　only
had　Ellen　pointed　out　to　him　how　he　could　earn　a　living　when　no　one
except　himself　had　known　how　to　advise　him；　but　here　she　was　so
pretty　and　smiling；　looking　after　even　his　comforts；　and　restoring
him　practically　in　all　respects　that　he　much　cared　about　to　the
position　which　he　had　lostor　rather　putting　him　in　one　that　he
already　liked　much　better。　　No　wonder　he　was　radiant　when　he　came　to
explain　his　plans　to　me。

He　had　some　difficulty　in　telling　all　that　had　happened。　　He
hesitated；　blushed；　hummed　and　hawed。　　Misgivings　began　to　cross　his
mind　when　he　found　himself　obliged　to　tell　his　story　to　someone
else。　　He　felt　inclined　to　slur　things　over；　but　I　wanted　to　get　at
the　facts；　so　I　helped　him　over　the　bad　places；　and　questioned　him
till　I　had　got　out　pretty　nearly　the　whole　story　as　I　have　given　it
above。

I　hope　I　did　not　show　it；　but　I　was　very　angry。　　I　had　begun　to　like
Ernest。　　I　don't　know　why；　but　I　never　have　heard　that　any　young　man
to　whom　I　had　become　attached　was　going　to　get　married　without
hating　his　intended　instinctively；　though　I　had　never　seen　her；　I
have　observed　that　most　bachelors　feel　the　same　thing；　though　we　are
generally　at　some　pains　to　hide　the　fact。　　Perhaps　it　is　because　we
know　we　ought　to　have　got　married　ourselves。　　Ordinarily　we　say　we
are　delightedin　the　present　case　I　did　not　feel　obliged　to　do
this；　though　I　made　an　effort　to　conceal　my　vexation。　　That　a　young
man　of　much　promise　who　was　heir　also　to　what　was　now　a　handsome
fortune；　should　fling　himself　away　upon　such　a　person　as　Ellen　was
quite　too　provoking；　and　the　more　so　because　of　the　unexpectedness
of　the　whole　affair。

I　begged　him　not　to　marry　Ellen　yetnot　at　least　until　he　had　known
her　for　a　longer　time。　　He　would　not　hear　of　it；　he　had　given　his
word；　and　if　he　had　not　given　it　he　should　go　and　give　it　at　once。
I　had　hitherto　found　him　upon　most　matters　singularly　docile　and
easy　to　manage；　but　on　this　point　I　could　do　nothing　with　him。　　His
recent　victory　over　his　father　and　mother　had　increased　his
strength；　and　I　was　nowhere。　　I　would　have　told　him　of　his　true
position；　but　I　knew　very　well　that　this　would　only　make　him　more
bent　on　having　his　own　wayfor　with　so　much　money　why　should　he　not
please　himself？　　I　said　nothing；　therefore；　on　this　head；　and　yet
all　that　I　could　urge　went　for　very　little　with　one　who　believed
hi