the way of all flesh-第77章

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money　would　do　him　no　harm。　　So　I　decided　to　keep　a　sharp　eye　upon
him　as　soon　as　he　came　out　of　prison；　and　to　let　him　splash　about　in
deep　water　as　best　he　could　till　I　saw　whether　he　was　able　to　swim；
or　was　about　to　sink。　　In　the　first　case　I　would　let　him　go　on
swimming　till　he　was　nearly　eight…and…twenty；　when　I　would　prepare
him　gradually　for　the　good　fortune　that　awaited　him；　in　the　second　I
would　hurry　up　to　the　rescue。　　So　I　wrote　to　say　that　Pryer　had
absconded；　and　that　he　could　have　100　pounds　from　his　father　when　he
came　out　of　prison。　　I　then　waited　to　see　what　effect　these　tidings
would　have；　not　expecting　to　receive　an　answer　for　three　months；　for
I　had　been　told　on　enquiry　that　no　letter　could　be　received　by　a
prisoner　till　after　he　had　been　three　months　in　gaol。　　I　also　wrote
to　Theobald　and　told　him　of　Pryer's　disappearance。

As　a　matter　of　fact；　when　my　letter　arrived　the　governor　of　the　gaol
read　it；　and　in　a　case　of　such　importance　would　have　relaxed　the
rules　if　Ernest's　state　had　allowed　it；　his　illness　prevented　this；
and　the　governor　left　it　to　the　chaplain　and　the　doctor　to　break　the
news　to　him　when　they　thought　him　strong　enough　to　bear　it；　which
was　now　the　case。　　In　the　meantime　I　received　a　formal　official
document　saying　that　my　letter　had　been　received　and　would　be
communicated　to　the　prisoner　in　due　course；　I　believe　it　was　simply
through　a　mistake　on　the　part　of　a　clerk　that　I　was　not　informed　of
Ernest's　illness；　but　I　heard　nothing　of　it　till　I　saw　him　by　his
own　desire　a　few　days　after　the　chaplin　had　broken　to　him　the
substance　of　what　I　had　written。

Ernest　was　terribly　shocked　when　he　heard　of　the　loss　of　his　money；
but　his　ignorance　of　the　world　prevented　him　from　seeing　the　full
extent　of　the　mischief。　　He　had　never　been　in　serious　want　of　money
yet；　and　did　not　know　what　it　meant。　　In　reality；　money　losses　are
the　hardest　to　bear　of　any　by　those　who　are　old　enough　to　comprehend
them。

A　man　can　stand　being　told　that　he　must　submit　to　a　severe　surgical
operation；　or　that　he　has　some　disease　which　will　shortly　kill　him；
or　that　he　will　be　a　cripple　or　blind　for　the　rest　of　his　life；
dreadful　as　such　tidings　must　be；　we　do　not　find　that　they　unnerve
the　greater　number　of　mankind；　most　men；　indeed；　go　coolly　enough
even　to　be　hanged；　but　the　strongest　quail　before　financial　ruin；
and　the　better　men　they　are；　the　more　complete；　as　a　general　rule；
is　their　prostration。　　Suicide　is　a　common　consequence　of　money
losses；　it　is　rarely　sought　as　a　means　of　escape　from　bodily
suffering。　　If　we　feel　that　we　have　a　competence　at　our　backs；　so
that　we　can　die　warm　and　quietly　in　our　beds；　with　no　need　to　worry
about　expense；　we　live　our　lives　out　to　the　dregs；　no　matter　how
excruciating　our　torments。　　Job　probably　felt　the　loss　of　his　flocks
and　herds　more　than　that　of　his　wife　and　family；　for　he　could　enjoy
his　flocks　and　herds　without　his　family；　but　not　his　familynot　for
longif　he　had　lost　all　his　money。　　Loss　of　money　indeed　is　not
only　the　worst　pain　in　itself；　but　it　is　the　parent　of　all　others。
Let　a　man　have　been　brought　up　to　a　moderate　competence；　and　have　no
specially；　then　let　his　money　be　suddenly　taken　from　him；　and　how
long　is　his　health　likely　to　survive　the　change　in　all　his　little
ways　which　loss　of　money　will　entail？　　How　long　again　is　the　esteem
and　sympathy　of　friends　likely　to　survive　ruin？　　People　may　be　very
sorry　for　us；　but　their　attitude　towards　us　hitherto　has　been　based
upon　the　supposition　that　we　were　situated　thus　or　thus　in　money
matters；　when　this　breaks　down　there　must　be　a　restatement　of　the
social　problem　so　far　as　we　are　concerned；　we　have　been　obtaining
esteem　under　false　pretences。　　Granted；　then；　that　the　three　most
serious　losses　which　a　man　can　suffer　are　those　affecting　money；
health　and　reputation。　　Loss　of　money　is　far　the　worst；　then　comes
ill…health；　and　then　loss　of　reputation；　loss　of　reputation　is　a　bad
third；　for；　if　a　man　keeps　health　and　money　unimpaired；　it　will　be
generally　found　that　his　loss　of　reputation　is　due　to　breaches　of
parvenu　conventions　only；　and　not　to　violations　of　those　older；
better　established　canons　whose　authority　is　unquestionable。　　In
this　case　a　man　may　grow　a　new　reputation　as　easily　as　a　lobster
grows　a　new　claw；　or；　if　he　have　health　and　money；　may　thrive　in
great　peace　of　mind　without　any　reputation　at　all。　　The　only　chance
for　a　man　who　has　lost　his　money　is　that　he　shall　still　be　young
enough　to　stand　uprooting　and　transplanting　without　more　than
temporary　derangement；　and　this　I　believed　my　godson　still　to　be。

By　the　prison　rules　he　might　receive　and　send　a　letter　after　he　had
been　in　gaol　three　months；　and　might　also　receive　one　visit　from　a
friend。　　When　he　received　my　letter；　he　at　once　asked　me　to　come　and
see　him；　which　of　course　I　did。　　I　found　him　very　much　changed；　and
still　so　feeble；　that　the　exertion　of　coming　from　the　infirmary　to
the　cell　in　which　I　was　allowed　to　see　him；　and　the　agitation　of
seeing　me　were　too　much　for　him。　　At　first　he　quite　broke　down；　and
I　was　so　pained　at　the　state　in　which　I　found　him；　that　I　was　on　the
point　of　breaking　my　instructions　then　and　there。　　I　contented
myself；　however；　for　the　time；　with　assuring　him　that　I　would　help
him　as　soon　as　he　came　out　of　prison；　and　that；　when　he　had　made　up
his　mind　what　he　would　do；　he　was　to　come　to　me　for　what　money　might
be　necessary；　if　he　could　not　get　it　from　his　father。　　To　make　it
easier　for　him　I　told　him　that　his　aunt；　on　her　deathbed；　had
desired　me　to　do　something　of　this　sort　should　an　emergency　arise；
so　that　he　would　only　be　taking　what　his　aunt　had　left　him。

〃Then；〃　said　he；　〃I　will　not　take　the　100　pounds　from　my　father；　and
I　will　never　see　him　or　my　mother　again。〃

I　said：　　〃Take　the　100　pounds；　Ernest；　and　as　much　more　as　you　can
get；　and　then　do　not　see　them　again　if　you　do　not　like。〃

This　Ernest　would　not　do。　　If　he　took　money　from　them；　he　could　not
cut　them；　and　he　wanted　to　cut　them。　　I　thought　my　godson　would　get
on　a　great　deal　better　if　he　would　only　have　the　firmness　to　do　as
he　proposed；　as　regards　breaking　completely　with　his　father　and
mother；　and　said　so。　　〃Then　don't　you　like　them？〃　said　he；　with　a
look　of　surprise。

〃Like　them！〃　said　I；　〃I　think　they're　horrid。〃

〃Oh；　that's　the　kindest　thing　of　all　you　have　done　for　me；〃　he
exclaimed；　〃I　thought　allall　middle…aged　people　liked　my　father
and　mother。〃

He　had　been　about　to　call　me　old；　but　I　was　only　fifty…seven；　and
was　not　going　to　have　this；　so　I　made　a　face　when　I　saw　him
hesitating；　which　drove　him　into　〃middle…aged。〃

〃If　you　like　it；〃　said　I；　〃I　will　say　all　your　family　are　horrid
except　yourself　and　your　aunt　Alethea。　　The　greater　part　of　every
family　is　always　odious；　if　there　are　one　or　two　good　ones　in　a　very
large　family；　it　is　as　much　as　can　be　expected。〃

〃Thank　you；〃　he　replied；　gratefully；　〃I　think　I　can　now　stand　almost
anything。　　I　will　come　and　see　you　as　soon　as　I　come　out　of　gaol。
Goodbye。〃　　For　the　warder　had　told　us　that　the　time　allowed　for　our
interview　was　at　an　end。



CHAPTER　LXVII



As　soon　as　Ernest　found　that　he　had　no　money　to　look　to　upon　leaving
prison　he　saw　that　his　dreams　about　emigrating　and　farming　must　come
to　an　end；　for　he　knew　that　he　was　incapable　of　working　at　the
plough　or　with　the　axe　for　long　together　himself。　　And　now　it　seemed
he　should　have　no　money　to　pay　any　one　else　for　doing　so。　　It　was
this　that　resolved　him　to　part　once　and　for　all　with　his　parents。
If　he　had　been　going　abroad　he　could　have　kept　up　relations　with
them；　for　they　would　have　been　too　far　off　to　interfere　with　him。

He　knew　his　father　and　mother　would　object　to　being　cut；　they　would
wish　to　appear　kind　and　forgiving；　they　would　also　dislike　having　no
further　power　to　plague　him；　but　he　knew　also　very　well　that　so　long
as　he　and　they　ran　in　harness　together　they　would　be　always　pulling
one　way　and　he　another。　　He　wanted　to　drop　the　gentleman　and　go　down
into　the　ranks；　beginning　on　the　lowest　rung　of　the　ladder；　where　no
one　would　know　of　his　disgrace　or　mind　it　if　he　did　know；　his　father
and