the way of all flesh-第69章

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that　he　had　better　perhaps　begin　by　going　upstairs；　and　knocking
very　gently　at　Mr　Holt's　door。　　He　would　then　resign　himself　to　the
guidance　of　the　Holy　Spirit；　and　act　as　the　occasion；　which；　I
suppose；　was　another　name　for　the　Holy　Spirit；　suggested。　　Triply
armed　with　this　reflection；　he　mounted　the　stairs　quite　jauntily；
and　was　about　to　knock　when　he　heard　Holt's　voice　inside　swearing
savagely　at　his　wife。　　This　made　him　pause　to　think　whether　after
all　the　moment　was　an　auspicious　one；　and　while　he　was　thus　pausing；
Mr　Holt；　who　had　heard　that　someone　was　on　the　stairs；　opened　the
door　and　put　his　head　out。　　When　he　saw　Ernest；　he　made　an
unpleasant；　not　to　say　offensive　movement；　which　might　or　might　not
have　been　directed　at　Ernest　and　looked　altogether　so　ugly　that　my
hero　had　an　instantaneous　and　unequivocal　revelation　from　the　Holy
Spirit　to　the　effect　that　he　should　continue　his　journey　upstairs　at
once；　as　though　he　had　never　intended　arresting　it　at　Mr　Holt's
room；　and　begin　by　converting　Mr　and　Mrs　Baxter；　the　Methodists　in
the　top　floor　front。　　So　this　was　what　he　did。

These　good　people　received　him　with　open　arms；　and　were　quite　ready
to　talk。　　He　was　beginning　to　convert　them　from　Methodism　to　the
Church　of　England；　when　all　at　once　he　found　himself　embarrassed　by
discovering　that　he　did　not　know　what　he　was　to　convert　them　from。
He　knew　the　Church　of　England；　or　thought　he　did；　but　he　knew
nothing　of　Methodism　beyond　its　name。　　When　he　found　that；　according
to　Mr　Baxter；　the　Wesleyans　had　a　vigorous　system　of　Church
discipline　（which　worked　admirably　in　practice）　it　appeared　to　him
that　John　Wesley　had　anticipated　the　spiritual　engine　which　he　and
Pryer　were　preparing；　and　when　he　left　the　room　he　was　aware　that　he
had　caught　more　of　a　spiritual　Tartar　than　he　had　expected。　　But　he
must　certainly　explain　to　Pryer　that　the　Wesleyans　had　a　system　of
Church　discipline。　　This　was　very　important。

Mr　Baxter　advised　Ernest　on　no　account　to　meddle　with　Mr　Holt；　and
Ernest　was　much　relieved　at　the　advice。　　If　an　opportunity　arose　of
touching　the　man's　heart；　he　would　take　it；　he　would　pat　the
children　on　the　head　when　he　saw　them　on　the　stairs；　and　ingratiate
himself　with　them　as　far　as　he　dared；　they　were　sturdy　youngsters；
and　Ernest　was　afraid　even　of　them；　for　they　were　ready　with　their
tongues；　and　knew　much　for　their　ages。　　Ernest　felt　that　it　would
indeed　be　almost　better　for　him　that　a　millstone　should　be　hanged
about　his　neck；　and　he　cast　into　the　sea；　than　that　he　should　offend
one　of　the　little　Holts。　　However；　he　would　try　not　to　offend　them；
perhaps　an　occasional　penny　or　two　might　square　them。　　This　was　as
much　as　he　could　do；　for　he　saw　that　the　attempt　to　be　instant　out
of　season；　as　well　as　in　season；　would；　St　Paul's　injunction
notwithstanding；　end　in　failure。

Mrs　Baxter　gave　a　very　bad　account　of　Miss　Emily　Snow；　who　lodged　in
the　second　floor　back　next　to　Mr　Holt。　　Her　story　was　quite
different　from　that　of　Mrs　Jupp　the　landlady。　　She　would　doubtless
be　only　too　glad　to　receive　Ernest's　ministrations　or　those　of　any
other　gentleman；　but　she　was　no　governess；　she　was　in　the　ballet　at
Drury　Lane；　and　besides　this；　she　was　a　very　bad　young　woman；　and　if
Mrs　Baxter　was　landlady　would　not　be　allowed　to　stay　in　the　house　a
single　hour；　not　she　indeed。

Miss　Maitland　in　the　next　room　to　Mrs　Baxter's　own　was　a　quiet　and
respectable　young　woman　to　all　appearance；　Mrs　Baxter　had　never
known　of　any　goings　on　in　that　quarter；　but；　bless　you；　still　waters
run　deep；　and　these　girls　were　all　alike；　one　as　bad　as　the　other。
She　was　out　at　all　kinds　of　hours；　and　when　you　knew　that　you　knew
all。

Ernest　did　not　pay　much　heed　to　these　aspersions　of　Mrs　Baxter's。
Mrs　Jupp　had　got　round　the　greater　number　of　his　many　blind　sides；
and　had　warned　him　not　to　believe　Mrs　Baxter；　whose　lip　she　said　was
something　awful。

Ernest　had　heard　that　women　were　always　jealous　of　one　another；　and
certainly　these　young　women　were　more　attractive　than　Mrs　Baxter
was；　so　jealousy　was　probably　at　the　bottom　of　it。　　If　they　were
maligned　there　could　be　no　objection　to　his　making　their
acquaintance；　if　not　maligned　they　had　all　the　more　need　of　his
ministrations。　　He　would　reclaim　them　at　once。

He　told　Mrs　Jupp　of　his　intention。　　Mrs　Jupp　at　first　tried　to
dissuade　him；　but　seeing　him　resolute；　suggested　that　she　should
herself　see　Miss　Snow　first；　so　as　to　prepare　her　and　prevent　her
from　being　alarmed　by　his　visit。　　She　was　not　at　home　now；　but　in
the　course　of　the　next　day；　it　should　be　arranged。　　In　the　meantime
he　had　better　try　Mr　Shaw；　the　tinker；　in　the　front　kitchen。　　Mrs
Baxter　had　told　Ernest　that　Mr　Shaw　was　from　the　North　Country；　and
an　avowed　freethinker；　he　would　probably；　she　said；　rather　like　a
visit；　but　she　did　not　think　Ernest　would　stand　much　chance　of
making　a　convert　of　him。



CHAPTER　LIX



Before　going　down　into　the　kitchen　to　convert　the　tinker　Ernest　ran
hurriedly　over　his　analysis　of　Paley's　evidences；　and　put　into　his
pocket　a　copy　of　Archbishop　Whateley's　〃Historic　Doubts。〃　　Then　he
descended　the　dark　rotten　old　stairs　and　knocked　at　the　tinker's
door。　　Mr　Shaw　was　very　civil；　he　said　he　was　rather　throng　just
now；　but　if　Ernest　did　not　mind　the　sound　of　hammering　he　should　be
very　glad　of　a　talk　with　him。　　Our　hero；　assenting　to　this；　ere　long
led　the　conversation　to　Whateley's　〃Historic　Doubts〃a　work　which；
as　the　reader　may　know；　pretends　to　show　that　there　never　was　any
such　person　as　Napoleon　Buonaparte；　and　thus　satirises　the　arguments
of　those　who　have　attacked　the　Christian　miracles。

Mr　Shaw　said　he　knew　〃Historic　Doubts〃　very　well。

〃And　what　you　think　of　it？〃　said　Ernest；　who　regarded　the　pamphlet
as　a　masterpiece　of　wit　and　cogency。

〃If　you　really　want　to　know；〃　said　Mr　Shaw；　with　a　sly　twinkle；　〃I
think　that　he　who　was　so　willing　and　able　to　prove　that　what　was　was
not；　would　be　equally　able　and　willing　to　make　a　case　for　thinking
that　what　was　not　was；　if　it　suited　his　purpose。〃　　Ernest　was　very
much　taken　aback。　　How　was　it　that　all　the　clever　people　of
Cambridge　had　never　put　him　up　to　this　simple　rejoinder？　　The　answer
is　easy：　　they　did　not　develop　it　for　the　same　reason　that　a　hen　had
never　developed　webbed　feetthat　is　to　say；　because　they　did　not
want　to　do　so；　but　this　was　before　the　days　of　Evolution；　and　Ernest
could　not　as　yet　know　anything　of　the　great　principle　that　underlies
it。

〃You　see；〃　continued　Mr　Shaw；　〃these　writers　all　get　their　living　by
writing　in　a　certain　way；　and　the　more　they　write　in　that　way；　the
more　they　are　likely　to　get　on。　　You　should　not　call　them　dishonest
for　this　any　more　than　a　judge　should　call　a　barrister　dishonest　for
earning　his　living　by　defending　one　in　whose　innocence　he　does　not
seriously　believe；　but　you　should　hear　the　barrister　on　the　other
side　before　you　decide　upon　the　case。〃

This　was　another　facer。　　Ernest　could　only　stammer　that　he　had
endeavoured　to　examine　these　questions　as　carefully　as　he　could。

〃You　think　you　have；〃　said　Mr　Shaw；　〃you　Oxford　and　Cambridge
gentlemen　think　you　have　examined　everything。　　I　have　examined　very
little　myself　except　the　bottoms　of　old　kettles　and　saucepans；　but
if　you　will　answer　me　a　few　questions；　I　will　tell　you　whether　or　no
you　have　examined　much　more　than　I　have。〃

Ernest　expressed　his　readiness　to　be　questioned。

〃Then；〃　said　the　tinker；　〃give　me　the　story　of　the　Resurrection　of
Jesus　Christ　as　told　in　St　John's　gospel。〃

I　am　sorry　to　say　that　Ernest　mixed　up　the　four　accounts　in　a
deplorable　manner；　he　even　made　the　angel　come　down　and　roll　away
the　stone　and　sit　upon　it。　　He　was　covered　with　confusion　when　the
tinker　first　told　him　without　the　book　of　some　of　his　many
inaccuracies；　and　then　verified　his　criticisms　by　referring　to　the
New　Testament　itself。

〃Now；〃　said　Mr　Shaw　good　naturedly；　〃I　am　an　old　man　and　you　are　a
young　one；　so　perhaps　you'll　not　mind　my　giving　you　a　piece　of
advice。　　I　like　you；　for　I　believe　you　mean　well；　but　you've　been
real　bad　brought　up；　and　I　don't　think　you　have　ever　had　so　much　as
a　chance　yet。　　You　know　nothin