the way of all flesh-第15章

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mamma　were　very　estimable　people　and　would　in　the　course　of　time
receive　Heavenly　Mansions　in　which　they　would　be　exceedingly
comfortable；　so　doubtless　would　her　sisters；　so　perhaps；　even　might
her　brothers；　but　for　herself　she　felt　that　a　higher　destiny　was
preparing；　which　it　was　her　duty　never　to　lose　sight　of。　　The　first
step　towards　it　would　be　her　marriage　with　Theobald。　　In　spite；
however；　of　these　flights　of　religious　romanticism；　Christina　was　a
good…tempered　kindly…natured　girl　enough；　who；　if　she　had　married　a
sensible　laymanwe　will　say　a　hotel…keeperwould　have　developed
into　a　good　landlady　and　been　deservedly　popular　with　her　guests。

Such　was　Theobald's　engaged　life。　　Many　a　little　present　passed
between　the　pair；　and　many　a　small　surprise　did　they　prepare
pleasantly　for　one　another。　　They　never　quarrelled；　and　neither　of
them　ever　flirted　with　anyone　else。　　Mrs　Allaby　and　his　future
sisters…in…law　idolised　Theobald　in　spite　of　its　being　impossible　to
get　another　deacon　to　come　and　be　played　for　as　long　as　Theobald　was
able　to　help　Mr　Allaby；　which　now　of　course　he　did　free　gratis　and
for　nothing；　two　of　the　sisters；　however；　did　manage　to　find
husbands　before　Christina　was　actually　married；　and　on　each　occasion
Theobald　played　the　part　of　decoy　elephant。　　In　the　end　only　two　out
of　the　seven　daughters　remained　single。

After　three　or　four　years；　old　Mr　Pontifex　became　accustomed　to　his
son's　engagement　and　looked　upon　it　as　among　the　things　which　had
now　a　prescriptive　right　to　toleration。　　In　the　spring　of　1831；　more
than　five　years　after　Theobald　had　first　walked　over　to　Crampsford；
one　of　the　best　livings　in　the　gift　of　the　College　unexpectedly　fell
vacant；　and　was　for　various　reasons　declined　by　the　two　fellows
senior　to　Theobald；　who　might　each　have　been　expected　to　take　it。
The　living　was　then　offered　to　and　of　course　accepted　by　Theobald；
being　in　value　not　less　than　500　pounds　a　year　with　a　suitable　house
and　garden。　　Old　Mr　Pontifex　then　came　down　more　handsomely　than　was
expected　and　settled　10；000　pounds　on　his　son　and　daughter…in…law
for　life　with　remainder　to　such　of　their　issue　as　they　might
appoint。　　In　the　month　of　July；　1831　Theobald　and　Christina　became
man　and　wife。



CHAPTER　XIII



A　due　number　of　old　shoes　had　been　thrown　at　the　carriage　in　which
the　happy　pair　departed　from　the　Rectory；　and　it　had　turned　the
corner　at　the　bottom　of　the　village。　　It　could　then　be　seen　for　two
or　three　hundred　yards　creeping　past　a　fir　coppice；　and　after　this
was　lost　to　view。

〃John；〃　said　Mr　Allaby　to　his　man…servant；　〃shut　the　gate；〃　and　he
went　indoors　with　a　sigh　of　relief　which　seemed　to　say：　　〃I　have
done　it；　and　I　am　alive。〃　　This　was　the　reaction　after　a　burst　of
enthusiastic　merriment　during　which　the　old　gentleman　had　run　twenty
yards　after　the　carriage　to　fling　a　slipper　at　itwhich　he　had　duly
flung。

But　what　were　the　feelings　of　Theobald　and　Christina　when　the
village　was　passed　and　they　were　rolling　quietly　by　the　fir
plantation？　　It　is　at　this　point　that　even　the　stoutest　heart　must
fail；　unless　it　beat　in　the　breast　of　one　who　is　over　head　and　ears
in　love。　　If　a　young　man　is　in　a　small　boat　on　a　choppy　sea；　along
with　his　affianced　bride　and　both　are　sea…sick；　and　if　the　sick
swain　can　forget　his　own　anguish　in　the　happiness　of　holding　the
fair　one's　head　when　she　is　at　her　worstthen　he　is　in　love；　and
his　heart　will　be　in　no　danger　of　failing　him　as　he　passes　his　fir
plantation。　　Other　people；　and　unfortunately　by　far　the　greater
number　of　those　who　get　married　must　be　classed　among　the　〃other
people；〃　will　inevitably　go　through　a　quarter　or　half　an　hour　of
greater　or　less　badness　as　the　case　may　be。　　Taking　numbers　into
account；　I　should　think　more　mental　suffering　had　been　undergone　in
the　streets　leading　from　St　George's；　Hanover　Square；　than　in　the
condemned　cells　of　Newgate。　　There　is　no　time　at　which　what　the
Italians　call　la　figlia　della　Morte　lays　her　cold　hand　upon　a　man
more　awfully　than　during　the　first　half　hour　that　he　is　alone　with　a
woman　whom　he　has　married　but　never　genuinely　loved。

Death's　daughter　did　not　spare　Theobald。　　He　had　behaved　very　well
hitherto。　　When　Christina　had　offered　to　let　him　go；　he　had　stuck　to
his　post　with　a　magnanimity　on　which　he　had　plumed　himself　ever
since。　　From　that　time　forward　he　had　said　to　himself：　　〃I；　at　any
rate；　am　the　very　soul　of　honour；　I　am　not；〃　etc。；　etc。　　True；　at
the　moment　of　magnanimity　the　actual　cash　payment；　so　to　speak；　was
still　distant；　when　his　father　gave　formal　consent　to　his　marriage
things　began　to　look　more　serious；　when　the　college　living　had
fallen　vacant　and　been　accepted　they　looked　more　serious　still；　but
when　Christina　actually　named　the　day；　then　Theobald's　heart　fainted
within　him。

The　engagement　had　gone　on　so　long　that　he　had　got　into　a　groove；
and　the　prospect　of　change　was　disconcerting。　　Christina　and　he　had
got　on；　he　thought　to　himself；　very　nicely　for　a　great　number　of
years；　whywhywhy　should　they　not　continue　to　go　on　as　they　were
doing　now　for　the　rest　of　their　lives？　　But　there　was　no　more　chance
of　escape　for　him　than　for　the　sheep　which　is　being　driven　to　the
butcher's　back　premises；　and　like　the　sheep　he　felt　that　there　was
nothing　to　be　gained　by　resistance；　so　he　made　none。　　He　behaved；　in
fact；　with　decency；　and　was　declared　on　all　hands　to　be　one　of　the
happiest　men　imaginable。

Now；　however；　to　change　the　metaphor；　the　drop　had　actually　fallen；
and　the　poor　wretch　was　hanging　in　mid　air　along　with　the　creature
of　his　affections。　　This　creature　was　now　thirty…three　years　old；
and　looked　it：　　she　had　been　weeping；　and　her　eyes　and　nose　were
reddish；　if　〃I　have　done　it　and　I　am　alive；〃　was　written　on　Mr
Allaby's　face　after　he　had　thrown　the　shoe；　〃I　have　done　it；　and　I
do　not　see　how　I　can　possibly　live　much　longer〃　was　upon　the　face　of
Theobald　as　he　was　being　driven　along　by　the　fir　Plantation。　　This；
however；　was　not　apparent　at　the　Rectory。　　All　that　could　be　seen
there　was　the　bobbing　up　and　down　of　the　postilion's　head；　which
just　over…topped　the　hedge　by　the　road…side　as　he　rose　in　his
stirrups；　and　the　black　and　yellow　body　of　the　carriage。

For　some　time　the　pair　said　nothing：　　what　they　must　have　felt
during　their　first　half　hour；　the　reader　must　guess；　for　it　is
beyond　my　power　to　tell　him；　at　the　end　of　that　time；　however；
Theobald　had　rummaged　up　a　conclusion　from　some　odd　corner　of　his
soul　to　the　effect　that　now　he　and　Christina　were　married　the　sooner
they　fell　into　their　future　mutual　relations　the　better。　　If　people
who　are　in　a　difficulty　will　only　do　the　first　little　reasonable
thing　which　they　can　clearly　recognise　as　reasonable；　they　will
always　find　the　next　step　more　easy　both　to　see　and　take。　　What；
then；　thought　Theobald；　was　here　at　this　moment　the　first　and　most
obvious　matter　to　be　considered；　and　what　would　be　an　equitable　view
of　his　and　Christina's　relative　positions　in　respect　to　it？　　Clearly
their　first　dinner　was　their　first　joint　entry　into　the　duties　and
pleasures　of　married　life。　　No　less　clearly　it　was　Christina's　duty
to　order　it；　and　his　own　to　eat　it　and　pay　for　it。

The　arguments　leading　to　this　conclusion；　and　the　conclusion　itself；
flashed　upon　Theobald　about　three　and　a　half　miles　after　he　had　left
Crampsford　on　the　road　to　Newmarket。　　He　had　breakfasted　early；　but
his　usual　appetite　had　failed　him。　　They　had　left　the　vicarage　at
noon　without　staying　for　the　wedding　breakfast。　　Theobald　liked　an
early　dinner；　it　dawned　upon　him　that　he　was　beginning　to　be　hungry；
from　this　to　the　conclusion　stated　in　the　preceding　paragraph　the
steps　had　been　easy。　　After　a　few　minutes'　further　reflection　he
broached　the　matter　to　his　bride；　and　thus　the　ice　was　broken。

Mrs　Theobald　was　not　prepared　for　so　sudden　an　assumption　of
importance。　　Her　nerves；　never　of　the　strongest；　had　been　strung　to
their　highest　tension　by　the　event　of　the　morning。　　She　wanted　to
escape　observation；　she　was　conscious　of　looking　a　little　older　than
she　quite　liked　to　look　as　a　bride　who　had　been　married　that
morning；　she　feared　the　landlady；　t