sketches new and old-第43章

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railing　and　pull　a　long　face　and　read　along　down　till　he　came　to　that；
and　then　he　would　chuckle　to　himself　and　walk　off；　looking　satisfied　and
comfortable。　　So　I　scratched　it　off　to　get　rid　of　those　fools。　　But　a
dead　man　always　takes　a　deal　of　pride　in　his　monument。　　Yonder　goes　half
a　dozen　of　the　Jarvises　now；　with　the　family　monument　along。　　And
Smithers　and　some　hired　specters　went　by　with　his　awhile　ago。　　Hello；
Higgins；　good…by；　old　friend！　　That's　Meredith　Higginsdied　in　'44
belongs　to　our　set　in　the　cemeteryfine　old　familygreat…grand　mother
was　an　InjunI　am　on　the　most　familiar　terms　with　him　he　didn't　hear　me
was　the　reason　he　didn't　answer　me。　　And　I　am　sorry；　too；　because　I　would
have　liked　to　introduce　you。　　You　would　admire　him。　　He　is　the　most
disjointed；　sway…backed；　and　generally　distorted　old　skeleton　you　ever
saw；　but　he　is　full　of　fun。　　When　he　laughs　it　sounds　like　rasping　two
stones　together；　and　he　always　starts　it　off　with　a　cheery　screech　like
raking　a　nail　across　a　window…pane。　　Hey；　Jones！　　That　is　old　Columbus
Jonesshroud　cost　four　hundred　dollars　entire　trousseau；　including
monument；　twenty…seven　hundred。　　This　was　in　the　spring　of　'26。　　It　was
enormous　style　for　those　days。　　Dead　people　came　all　the　way　from　the
Alleghanies　to　see　his　thingsthe　party　that　occupied　the　grave　next　to
mine　remembers　it　well。　　Now　do　you　see　that　individual　going　along　with
a　piece　of　a　head…board　under　his　arm；　one　leg…bone　below　his　knee　gone；
and　not　a　thing　in　the　world　on？　　That　is　Barstow　Dalhousie；　and　next　to
Columbus　Jones　he　was　the　most　sumptuously　outfitted　person　that　ever
entered　our　cemetery。　　We　are　all　leaving。　　We　cannot　tolerate　the
treatment　we　are　receiving　at　the　hands　of　our　descendants。　　They　open
new　cemeteries；　but　they　leave　us　to　our　ignominy。　　They　mend　the
streets；　but　they　never　mend　anything　that　is　about　us　or　belongs　to　us。
Look　at　that　coffin　of　mineyet　I　tell　you　in　its　day　it　was　a　piece　of
furniture　that　would　have　attracted　attention　in　any　drawing…room　in　this
city。　　You　may　have　it　if　you　want　itI　can't　afford　to　repair　it。
Put　a　new　bottom　in　her；　and　part　of　a　new　top；　and　a　bit　of　fresh　lining
along　the　left　side；　and　you'll　find　her　about　as　comfortable　as　any
receptacle　of　her　species　you　ever　tried。　　No　thanks　no；　don't　mention　it
you　have　been　civil　to　me；　and　I　would　give　you　all　the　property　I　have
got　before　I　would　seem　ungrateful。　　Now　this　winding…sheet　is　a　kind　of
a　sweet　thing　in　its　way；　if　you　would　like　to　No？　　Well；　just　as　you
say；　but　I　wished　to　be　fair　and　liberal　there's　nothing　mean　about　me。
Good…by；　friend；　I　must　be　going。　　I　may　have　a　good　way　to　go　to…night
don't　know。　　I　only　know　one　thing　for　certain；　and　that　is　that　I　am
on　the　emigrant　trail　now；　and　I'll　never　sleep　in　that　crazy　old
cemetery　again。　　I　will　travel　till　I　fiend　respectable　quarters；　if　I
have　to　hoof　it　to　New　Jersey。　　All　the　boys　are　going。　　It　was　decided
in　public　conclave；　last　night；　to　emigrate；　and　by　the　time　the　sun
rises　there　won't　be　a　bone　left　in　our　old　habitations。　　Such　cemeteries
may　suit　my　surviving　friends；　but　they　do　not　suit　the　remains　that　have
the　honor　to　make　these　remarks。　　My　opinion　is　the　general　opinion。
If　you　doubt　it；　go　and　see　how　the　departing　ghosts　upset　things　before
they　started。　　They　were　almost　riotous　in　their　demonstrations　of
distaste。　　Hello；　here　are　some　of　the　Bledsoes；　and　if　you　will　give　me
a　lift　with　this　tombstone　I　guess　I　will　join　company　and　jog　along　with
themmighty　respectable　old　family；　the　Bledsoes；　and　used　to　always
come　out　in　six…horse　hearses　and　all　that　sort　of　thing　fifty　years　ago
when　I　walked　these　streets　in　daylight。　　Good…by；　friend。〃

And　with　his　gravestone　on　his　shoulder　he　joined　the　grisly　procession；
dragging　his　damaged　coffin　after　him；　for　notwithstanding　he　pressed　it
upon　me　so　earnestly；　I　utterly　refused　his　hospitality。　　I　suppose　that
for　as　much　as　two　hours　these　sad　outcasts　went　clacking　by；　laden　with
their　dismal　effects；　and　all　that　time　I　sat　pitying　them。　　One　or　two
of　the　youngest　and　least　dilapidated　among　them　inquired　about　midnight
trains　on　the　railways；　but　the　rest　seemed　unacquainted　with　that　mode
of　travel；　and　merely　asked　about　common　public　roads　to　various　towns
and　cities；　some　of　which　are　not　on　the　map　now；；　and　vanished　from　it
and　from　the　earth　as　much　as　thirty　years　ago；　and　some　few　of　them
never　had　existed　anywhere　but　on　maps；　and　private　ones　in　real…estate
agencies　at　that。　　And　they　asked　about　the　condition　of　the　cemeteries
in　these　towns　and　cities；　and　about　the　reputation　the　citizens　bore　as
to　reverence　for　the　dead。

This　whole　matter　interested　me　deeply；　and　likewise　compelled　my
sympathy　for　these　homeless　ones。　　And　it　all　seeming　real；　and　I　not
knowing　it　was　a　dream；　I　mentioned　to　one　shrouded　wanderer　an　idea　that
had　entered　my　head　to　publish　an　account　of　this　curious　and　very
sorrowful　exodus；　but　said　also　that　I　could　not　describe　it　truthfully；
and　just　as　it　occurred；　without　seeming　to　trifle　with　a　grave　subject
and　exhibit　an　irreverence　for　the　dead　that　would　shock　and　distress
their　surviving　friends。　　But　this　bland　and　stately　remnant　of　a　former
citizen　leaned　him　far　over　my　gate　and　whispered　in　my　ear；　and　said：

〃Do　not　let　that　disturb　you。　　The　community　that　can　stand　such
graveyards　as　those　we　are　emigrating　from　can　stand　anything　a　body　can
say　about　the　neglected　and　forsaken　dead　that　lie　in　them。〃

At　that　very　moment　a　cock　crowed；　and　the　weird　procession　vanished　and
left　not　a　shred　or　a　bone　behind。　　I　awoke；　and　found　myself　lying　with
my　head　out　of　the　bed　and　〃sagging〃　downward　considerablya　position
favorable　to　dreaming　dreams　with　morals　in　them；　maybe；　but　not　poetry。

NOTE。The　reader　is　assured　that　if　the　cemeteries　in　his　town　are　kept
in　good　order；　this　Dream　is　not　leveled　at　his　town　at　all；　but　is
leveled　particularly　and　venomously　at　the　next　town。






A　TRUE　STORY

REPEATED　WORD　FOR　WORD　AS　I　HEARD　IT　＇Written　about　1876＇

It　was　summer…time；　and　twilight。　　We　were　sitting　on　the　porch　of　the
farmhouse；　on　the　summit　of　the　hill；　and　〃Aunt　Rachel〃　was　sitting
respectfully　below　our　level；　on　the　steps…for　she　was　our　Servant；　and
colored。　　She　was　of　mighty　frame　and　stature；　she　was　sixty　years　old；
but　her　eye　was　undimmed　and　her　strength　unabated。　　She　was　a　cheerful；
hearty　soul；　and　it　was　no　more　trouble　for　her　to　laugh　than　it　is　for　a
bird　to　sing。　　She　was　under　fire　now；　as　usual　when　the　day　was　done。
That　is　to　say；　she　was　being　chaffed　without　mercy；　and　was　enjoying　it。
She　would　let　off　peal　after　of　laughter；　and　then　sit　with　her　face　in
her　hands　and　shake　with　throes　of　enjoyment　which　she　could　no　longer
get　breath　enough　to　express。　　It　such　a　moment　as　this　a　thought
occurred　to　me；　and　I　said：

〃Aunt　Rachel；　how　is　it　that　you've　lived　sixty　years　and　never　had　any
trouble？〃

She　stopped　quaking。　　She　paused；　and　there　was　moment　of　silence。　　She
turned　her　face　over　her　shoulder　toward　me；　and　said；　without　even　a
smile　her　voice：

〃Misto　C…；　is　you　in　'arnest？〃

It　surprised　me　a　good　deal；　and　it　sobered　my　manner　and　my　speech；　too。
I　said：

〃Why；　I　thoughtthat　is；　I　meantwhy；　you　can't　have　had　any　trouble。
I've　never　heard　you　sigh；　and　never　seen　your　eye　when　there　wasn't　a
laugh　in　it。〃

She　faced　fairly　around　now；　and　was　full　earnestness。

〃Has　I　had　any　trouble？　Misto　C…；　I's　gwyne　to　tell　you；　den　I　leave
it　to　you。　　I　was　bawn　down　'mongst　de　slaves；　I　knows　all　'bout　slavery；
'case　I　ben　one　of　'em　my　own　se'f。　　Well　sah；　my　ole　mandat's　my
husban'he　was　lov　an'　kind　to　me；　jist　as　kind　as　you　is　to　yo'　own
wife。　　An'　we　had　chil'enseven　chil'enan'　loved　dem　chil'en　jist　de
same　as　you　loves　yo'　chil'en。　　Dey　was　black；　but　de　Lord　can't　make
chil'en　so　black　but　what　dey　mother　loves　'em　an'　wouldn't　give　'em　up；
no；　not　for　anything　dat's　in　dis　whole　world。

〃Well；　sah；　I　was　raised　in　ole　Fo'ginny；　but　mother　she　was　raised　in
Maryland；　an'　my　souls　she　was　turrible　when　she'd　git　st