sketches new and old-第41章

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to　go　to　a　wedding　with　her；　and　when　she　got　other　company；　lay　in　wait
for　the　couple　by　the　road；　intending　to　make　them　go　back　or　kill　the
escort。　　After　spending　sleepless　nights　over　his　ruling　desire　for　a
full　year；　he　at　last　attempted　its　executionthat　is；　attempted　to
disfigure　the　young　woman。　　It　was　a　success。　　It　was　permanent。　　In
trying　to　shoot　her　cheek　（as　she　sat　at　the　supper…table　with　her
parents　and　brothers　and　sisters）　in　such　a　manner　as　to　mar　its
comeliness；　one　of　his　bullets　wandered　a　little　out　of　the　course；　and
she　dropped　dead。　　To　the　very　last　moment　of　his　life　he　bewailed　the
ill　luck　that　made　her　move　her　face　just　at　the　critical　moment。　　And　so
he　died；　apparently　about　half　persuaded　that　somehow　it　was　chiefly　her
own　fault　that　she　got　killed。　　This　idiot　was　hanged。　　The　plea；　of
insanity　was　not　offered。

Insanity　certainly　is　on　the　increase　in　the　world；　and　crime　is　dying
out。　　There　are　no　longer　any　murdersnone　worth　mentioning；　at　any
rate。　　Formerly；　if　you　killed　a　man；　it　was　possible　that　you　were
insanebut　now；　if　you；　having　friends　and　money；　kill　a　mate；　it　is
evidence　that　you　are　a　lunatic。　　In　these　days；　too；　if　a　person　of　good
family　and　high　social　standing　steals　anything；　they　call　it
kleptomania；　and　send　him　to　the　lunatic　asylum。　　If　a　person　of　high
standing　squanders　his　fortune　in　dissipation；　and　closes　his　career　with
strychnine　or　a　bullet；　〃Temporary　Aberration〃　is　what　was　the　trouble
with　him。

Is　not　this　insanity　plea　becoming　rather　common？　　Is　it　not　so　common
that　the　reader　confidently　expects　to　see　it　offered　in　every　criminal
case　that　comes　before　the　courts？　　And　is　it　not　so　cheap；　and　so
common；　and　often　so　trivial；　that　the　reader　smiles　in　derision　when　the
newspaper　mentions　it？

And　is　it　not　curious　to　note　how　very　often　it　wins　acquittal　for　the
prisoner？　　Of　late　years　it　does　not　seem　possible　for　a　man　to　so
conduct　himself；　before　killing　another　man；　as　not　to　be　manifestly
insane。　　If　he　talks　about　the　stars；　he　is　insane。　　If　he　appears
nervous　and　uneasy　an　hour　before　the　killing；　he　is　insane。　　If　he　weeps
over　a　great　grief；　his　friends　shake　their　heads；　and　fear　that　he　is
〃not　right。〃　　If；　an　hour　after　the　murder；　he　seems　ill　at　ease；
preoccupied；　and　excited；　he　is；　unquestionably　insane。

Really；　what　we　want　now；　is　not　laws　against　crime；　but　a　law　against
insanity。　　There　is　where　the　true　evil　lies。






A　CURIOUS　DREAM

CONTAINING　A　MORAL

Night　before　last　I　had　a　singular　dream。　　I　seemed　to　be　sitting　on　a
doorstep　（in　no　particular　city　perhaps）　ruminating；　and　the　time　of
night　appeared　to　be　about　twelve　or　one　o'clock。　　The　weather　was　balmy
and　delicious。　　There　was　no　human　sound　in　the　air；　not　even　a　footstep。
There　was　no　sound　of　any　kind　to　emphasize　the　dead　stillness；　except
the　occasional　hollow　barking　of　a　dog　in　the　distance　and　the　fainter
answer　of　a　further　dog。　　Presently　up　the　street　I　heard　a　bony
clack…clacking；　and　guessed　it　was　the　castanets　of　a　serenading　party。
In　a　minute　more　a　tall　skeleton；　hooded；　and　half　clad　in　a　tattered　and
moldy　shroud；　whose　shreds　were　flapping　about　the　ribby　latticework　of
its　person；　swung　by　me　with　a　stately　stride　and　disappeared　in　the　gray
gloom　of　the　starlight。　　It　had　a　broken　and　worm…eaten　coffin　on　its
shoulder　and　a　bundle　of　something　in　its　hand。　　I　knew　what　the
clack…clacking　was　then；　it　was　this　party's　joints　working　together；
and　his　elbows　knocking　against　his　sides　as　he　walked。　　I　may　say　I　was
surprised。　　Before　I　could　collect　my　thoughts　and　enter　upon　any
speculations　as　to　what　this　apparition　might　portend；　I　heard　another
one　coming　for　I　recognized　his　clack…clack。　　He　had　two…thirds　of　a
coffin　on　his　shoulder；　and　some　foot　and　head　boards　under　his　arm。
I　mightily　wanted；　to　peer　under　his　hood　and　speak　to　him；　but　when　he
turned　and　smiled　upon　me　with　his　cavernous　sockets　and　his　projecting
grin　as　he　went　by；　I　thought　I　would　not　detain　him。　　He　was　hardly　gone
when　I　heard　the　clacking　again；　and　another　one　issued　from　the　shadowy
half…light。　　This　one　was　bending　under　a　heavy　gravestone；　and　dragging
a　shabby　coffin　after　him　by　a　string。　　When　he　got　to　me　he　gave　me　a
steady　look　for　a　moment　or　two；　and　then　rounded　to　and　backed　up　to　me；
saying：

〃Ease　this　down　for　a　fellow；　will　you？〃

I　eased　the　gravestone　down　till　it　rested　on　the　ground；　and　in　doing　so
noticed　that　it　bore　the　name　of　〃John　Baxter　Copmanhurst；〃with　〃May；
1839；〃　as　the　date　of　his　death。　　Deceased　sat　wearily　down　by　me；　and
wiped　his　os　frontis　with　his　major　maxillarychiefly　from　former　habit
I　judged；　for　I　could　not　see　that　he　brought　away　any　perspiration。

〃It　is　too　bad；　too　bad；〃　said　he；　drawing　the　remnant　of　the　shroud
about　him　and　leaning　his　jaw　pensively　on　his　hand。　　Then　he　put　his
left　foot　up　on　his　knee　and　fell　to　scratching　his　anklebone　absently
with　a　rusty　nail　which　he　got　out　of　his　coffin。

〃What　is　too　bad；　friend？〃

〃Oh；　everything；　everything。　　I　almost　wish　I　never　had　died。〃

〃You　surprise　me。　　Why　do　you　say　this？　　Has　anything　gone　wrong？　　What
is　the　matter？〃

〃Matter！　　Look　at　this　shroud…rags。　　Look　at　this　gravestone；　all
battered　up。　　Look　at　that　disgraceful　old　coffin。　　All　a　man's　property
going　to　ruin　and　destruction　before　his　eyes；　and　ask　him　if　anything　is
wrong？　　Fire　and　brimstone！〃

〃Calm　yourself；　calm　yourself；〃　I　said。　　〃It　is　too　bad…it　is　certainly
too　bad；　but　then　I　had　not　supposed　that　you　would　much　mind　such
matters　situated　as　you　are。〃

〃Well；　my　dear　sir；　I　do　mind　them。　　My　pride　is　hurt；　and　my　comfort　is
impaireddestroyed；　I　might　say。　　I　will　state　my　caseI　will　put　it　to
you　in　such　a　way　that　you　can　comprehend　it；　if　you　will　let　me；〃　said
the　poor　skeleton；　tilting　the　hood　of　his　shroud　back；　as　if　he　were
clearing　for　action；　and　thus　unconsciously　giving　himself　a　jaunty　and
festive　air　very　much　at　variance　with　the　grave　character　of　his
position　in　lifeso　to　speakand　in　prominent　contrast　with　his
distressful　mood。

〃Proceed；〃　said　I。

〃I　reside　in　the　shameful　old　graveyard　a　block　or　two　above　you　here；
in　this　streetthere；　now；　I　just　expected　that　cartilage　would　let　go！…
…third　rib　from　the　bottom；　friend；　hitch　the　end　of　it　to　my　spine　with
a　string；　if　you　have　got　such　a　thing　about　you；　though　a　bit　of　silver
wire　is　a　deal　pleasanter；　and　more　durable　and　becoming；　if　one　keeps　it
polishedto　think　of　shredding　out　and　going　to　pieces　in　this　way；　just
on　account　of　the　indifference　and　neglect　of　one's　posterity！〃　and　the
poor　ghost　grated　his　teeth　in　a　way　that　gave　me　a　wrench　and　a　shiver
for　the　effect　is　mightily　increased　by　the　absence　of　muffling　flesh
and　cuticle。　　〃I　reside　in　that　old　graveyard；　and　have　for　these　thirty
years；　and　I　tell　you　things　are　changed　since　I　first　laid　this　old
tired　frame　there；　and　turned　over；　and　stretched　out　for　a　long　sleep；
with　a　delicious　sense　upon　me　of　being　done　with　bother；　and　grief；
and　anxiety；　and　doubt；　and　fear；　forever　and　ever；　and　listening　with
comfortable　and　increasing　satisfaction　to　the　sexton's　work；　from　the
startling　clatter　of　his　first　spadeful　on　my　coffin　till　it　dulled　away
to　the　faint　patting　that　shaped　the　roof　of　my　new　home…delicious！　　My！
I　wish　you　could　try　it　to…night！〃　and　out　of　my　reverie　deceased　fetched
me　a　rattling　slap　with　a　bony　hand。

〃Yes；　sir；　thirty　years　ago　I　laid　me　down　there；　and　was　happy。　　For　it
was　out　in　the　country　thenout　in　the　breezy；　flowery；　grand　old　woods；
and　the　lazy　winds　gossiped　with　the　leaves；　and　the　squirrels　capered
over　us　and　around　us；　and　the　creeping　things　visited　us；　and　the　birds
filled　the　tranquil　solitude　with　music。　　Ah；　it　was　worth　ten　years　of　a
man's　life　to　be　dead　then！　　Everything　was　pleasant。　　I　was　in　a　good
neighborhood；　for　all　the　dead　people　that　lived　near　me　belonged　to　the
best　families　in　the　city。　　Our　posterity　appeared　to　think　the　world　of
us。　　They　kept　our　graves　in　the　very　best　condition；　the　fences　were
always　in　fau