sketches new and old-第27章

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think　I　have　solved　this　problem。〃

〃So　be　it；　good　your　lordship；〃　piped　the　weak　treble　of　the　wrinkled　and
withered　Professor　Woodlouse；　〃for　we　shall　hear　from　your　lordship's
lips　naught　but　wisdom。〃　　＇Here　the　speaker　threw　in　a　mess　of　trite；
threadbare；　exasperating　quotations　from　the　ancient　poets　and
philosophers；　delivering　them　with　unction　in　the　sounding　grandeurs　of
the　original　tongues；　they　being　from　the　Mastodon；　the　Dodo；　and　other
dead　languages。＇　　〃Perhaps　I　ought　not　to　presume　to　meddle　with　matters
pertaining　to　astronomy　at　all；　in　such　a　presence　as　this；　I　who　have
made　it　the　business　of　my　life　to　delve　only　among　the　riches　of　the
extinct　languages　and　unearth　the　opulence　of　their　ancient　lore；　but
still；　as　unacquainted　as　I　am　with　the　noble　science　of　astronomy；　I　beg
with　deference　and　humility　to　suggest　that　inasmuch　as　the　last　of　these
wonderful　apparitions　proceeded　in　exactly　the　opposite　direction　from
that　pursued　by　the　first；　which　you　decide　to　be　the　Vernal　Equinox；
and　greatly　resembled　it　in　all　particulars；　is　it　not　possible；　nay
certain；　that　this　last　is　the　Autumnal　Equi〃

〃　O…o…o！〃　　〃O…o…o！　go　to　bed！　go　to　bed！〃　with　annoyed　derision　from
everybody。　　So　the　poor　old　Woodlouse　retreated　out　of　sight；　consumed
with　shame。

Further　discussion　followed；　and　then　the　united　voice　of　the　commission
begged　Lord　Longlegs　to　speak。　　He　said：

〃Fellow…scientists；　it　is　my　belief　that　we　have　witnessed　a　thing　which
has　occurred　in　perfection　but　once　before　in　the　knowledge　of　created
beings。　　It　is　a　phenomenon　of　inconceivable　importance　and　interest；
view　it　as　one　may；　but　its　interest　to　us　is　vastly　heightened　by　an
added　knowledge　of　its　nature　which　no　scholar　has　heretofore　possessed
or　even　suspected。　　This　great　marvel　which　we　have　just　witnessed；
fellow…savants　（it　almost　takes　my　breath　away）；　is　nothing　less　than　the
transit　of　Venus！〃

Every　scholar　sprang　to　his　feet　pale　with　astonishment。　　Then　ensued
tears；　handshakings；　frenzied　embraces；　and　the　most　extravagant
jubilations　of　every　sort。　　But　by　and　by；　as　emotion　began　to　retire
within　bounds；　and　reflection　to　return　to　the　front；　the　accomplished
Chief　Inspector　Lizard　observed：

〃But　how　is　this？　　Venus　should　traverse　the　sun's　surface；　not　the
earth's。〃

The　arrow　went　home。　　It　earned　sorrow　to　the　breast　of　every　apostle　of
learning　there；　for　none　could　deny　that　this　was　a　formidable　criticism。
But　tranquilly　the　venerable　Duke　crossed　his　limbs　behind　his　ears　and
said：

〃My　friend　has　touched　the　marrow　of　our　mighty　discovery。　　Yesall　that
have　lived　before　us　thought　a　transit　of　Venus　consisted　of　a　flight
across　the　sun's　face；　they　thought　it；　they　maintained　it；　they　honestly
believed　it；　simple　hearts；　and　were　justified　in　it　by　the　limitations
of　their　knowledge；　but　to　us　has　been　granted　the　inestimable　boon　of
proving　that　the　transit　occurs　across　the　earth's　face；　for　we　have　SEEN
it！〃

The　assembled　wisdom　sat　in　speechless　adoration　of　this　imperial
intellect。　　All　doubts　had　instantly　departed；　like　night　before　the
lightning。

The　Tumble…Bug　had　just　intruded；　unnoticed。　　He　now　came　reeling　forward
among　the　scholars；　familiarly　slapping　first　one　and　then　another　on　the
shoulder；　saying　〃Nice　（'ic）　nice　old　boy！〃　and　smiling　a　smile　of
elaborate　content。　　Arrived　at　a　good　position　for　speaking；　he　put　his
left　arm　akimbo　with　his　knuckles　planted　in　his　hip　just　under　the　edge
of　his　cut…away　coat；　bent　his　right　leg；　placing　his　toe　on　the　ground
and　resting　his　heel　with　easy　grace　against　his　left　shin；　puffed　out
his　aldermanic　stomach；　opened　his　lips；　leaned　his　right　elbow　on
Inspector　Lizard's　shoulder；　and

But　the　shoulder　was　indignantly　withdrawn　and　the　hard…handed　son　of
toil　went　to　earth。　　He　floundered　a　bit；　but　came　up　smiling；　arranged
his　attitude　with　the　same　careful　detail　as　before；　only　choosing
Professor　Dogtick's　shoulder　for　a　support；　opened　his　lips　and

Went　to　earth　again。　　He　presently　scrambled　up　once　more；　still　smiling；
made　a　loose　effort　to　brush　the　dust　off　his　coat　and　legs；　but　a　smart
pass　of　his　hand　missed　entirely；　and　the　force　of　the　unchecked　impulse
stewed　him　suddenly　around；　twisted　his　legs　together；　and　projected　him；
limber　and　sprawling；　into　the　lap　of　the　Lord　Longlegs。　　Two　or　three
scholars　sprang　forward；　flung　the　low　creature　head　over　heels　into　a
corner；　and　reinstated　the　patrician；　smoothing　his　ruffled　dignity　with
many　soothing　and　regretful　speeches。　　Professor　Bull　Frog　roared　out：

〃No　more　of　this；　sirrah　Tumble…Bug！　　Say　your　say　and　then　get　you　about
your　business　with　speed！　　Quickwhat　is　your　errand？　　Come　move　off　a
trifle；　you　smell　like　a　stable；　what　have　you　been　at？〃

〃Please　（'ic！）　please　your　worship　I　chanced　to　light　upon　a　find。　　But
no　m（e…uck！）　matter　'bout　that。　　There's　b（'ic　！）　been　another　find
whichbeg　pardon；　your　honors；　what　was　that　th（'ic！）　thing　that　ripped
by　here　first？〃

〃It　was　the　Vernal　Equinox。〃

〃Inf（'ic！）fernal　equinox。　　'At's　all　right。　　D（'ic　！）　Dunno　him。　　What's
other　one？〃

〃The　transit　of　Venus。

〃G（'ic　！）　Got　me　again。　　No　matter。　　Las'　one　dropped　something。〃

〃Ah；　indeed！　　Good　luck！　　Good　news！　　Quick　what　is　it？〃

〃M（'ic！）　Mosey　out　'n'　see。　　It'll　pay。〃

No　more　votes　were　taken　for　four…and…twenty　hours。　　Then　the　following
entry　was　made：

〃The　commission　went　in　a　body　to　view　the　find。　　It　was　found　to　consist
of　a　hard；　smooth；　huge　object　with　a　rounded　summit　surmounted　by　a
short　upright　projection　resembling　a　section　of　a　cabbage　stalk　divided
transversely。　　This　projection　was　not　solid；　but　was　a　hollow　cylinder
plugged　with　a　soft　woody　substance　unknown　to　our　regionthat　is；　it
had　been　so　plugged；　but　unfortunately　this　obstruction　had　been
heedlessly　removed　by　Norway　Rat；　Chief　of　the　Sappers　and　Miners；　before
our　arrival。　　The　vast　object　before　us；　so　mysteriously　conveyed　from
the　glittering　domains　of　space；　was　found　to　be　hollow　and　nearly　filled
with　a　pungent　liquid　of　a　brownish　hue；　like　rainwater　that　has　stood
for　some　time。　　And　such　a　spectacle　as　met　our　view！　　Norway　Rat　was
perched　upon　the　summit　engaged　in　thrusting　his　tail　into　the
cylindrical　projection；　drawing　it　out　dripping；　permitting　the
struggling　multitude　of　laborers　to　suck　the　end　of　it；　then　straightway
reinserting　it　and　delivering　the　fluid　to　the　mob　as　before。　　Evidently
this　liquor　had　strangely　potent　qualities；　for　all　that　partook　of　it
were　immediately　exalted　with　great　and　pleasurable　emotions；　and　went
staggering　about　singing　ribald　songs；　embracing；　fighting；　dancing；
discharging　irruptions　of　profanity；　and　defying　all　authority。　　Around
us　struggled　a　massed　and　uncontrolled　mobuncontrolled　and　likewise
uncontrollable；　for　the　whole　army；　down　to　the　very　sentinels；　were　mad
like　the　rest；　by　reason　of　the　drink。　　We　were　seized　upon　by　these
reckless　creatures；　and　within　the　hour　we；　even　we；　were
undistinguishable　from　the　restthe　demoralization　was　complete　and
universal。　　In　time　the　camp　wore　itself　out　with　its　orgies　and　sank
into　a　stolid　and　pitiable　stupor；　in　whose　mysterious　bonds　rank　was
forgotten　and　strange　bedfellows　made；　our　eyes；　at　the　resurrection；
being　blasted　and　our　souls　petrified　with　the　incredible　spectacle　of
that　intolerable　stinking　scavenger；　the　Tumble…Bug；　and　the　illustrious
patrician　my　Lord　Grand　Daddy；　Duke　of　Longlegs；　lying　soundly　steeped　in
sleep；　and　clasped　lovingly　in　each　other's　arms；　the　like　whereof　hath
not　been　seen　in　all　the　ages　that　tradition　compasseth；　and　doubtless
none　shall　ever　in　this　world　find　faith　to　master　the　belief　of　it　save
only　we　that　have　beheld　the　damnable　and　unholy　vision。　　Thus
inscrutable　be　the　ways　of　God；　whose　will　be　done！

〃This　day；　by　order；　did　the　engineer…in…chief；　Herr　Spider；　rig　the
necessary　tackle　for　the　overturning　of　the　vast　reservoir；　and　so　its
calamitous　contents　were　discharged　in　a　torrent　upon　the　thirsty　earth；
which　drank　it　up；　and　now　there　is　no　more　danger；　we　reserving　but　a
few　dro