sketches new and old-第17章

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raise　it　aloft　and　ease　it　up　gently　against　a　slumbering　chicken's　foot。
If　the　subject　of　your　attentions　is　a　true　bird；　he　will　infallibly
return　thanks　with　a　sleepy　cluck　or　two；　and　step　out　and　take　up
quarters　on　the　plank；　thus　becoming　so　conspicuously　accessory　before
the　fact　to　his　own　murder　as　to　make　it　a　grave　question　in　our　minds　as
it　once　was　in　the　mind　of　Blackstone；　whether　he　is　not　really　and
deliberately；　committing　suicide　in　the　second　degree。　　＇But　you　enter
into　a　contemplation　of　these　legal　refinements　subsequently　not　then。＇

When　you　wish　to　raise　a　fine；　large；　donkey　voiced　Shanghai　rooster；　you
do　it　with　a　lasso；　just　as　you　would　a　bull。　　It　is　because　he　must
choked；　and　choked　effectually；　too。　　It　is　the　only　good；　certain　way；
for　whenever　he　mentions　a　matter　which　he　is　cordially　interested　in；
the　chances　are　ninety…nine　in　a　hundred　that　he　secures　somebody　else's
immediate　attention　to　it　too；　whether　it　day　or　night。

The　Black　Spanish　is　an　exceedingly　fine　bird　and　a　costly　one。　　Thirty…
five　dollars　is　the　usual　figure　and　fifty　a　not　uncommon　price　for　a
specimen。　　Even　its　eggs　are　worth　from　a　dollar　to　a　dollar　and　a　half
apiece；　and　yet　are　so　unwholesome　that　the　city　physician　seldom　or
never　orders　them　for　the　workhouse。　　Still　I　have　once　or　twice　procured
as　high　as　a　dozen　at　a　time　for　nothing；　in　the　dark　of　the　moon。　　The
best　way　to　raise　the　Black　Spanish　fowl　is　to　go　late　in　the　evening　and
raise　coop　and　all。　　The　reason　I　recommend　this　method　is　that；　the
birds　being　so　valuable；　the　owners　do　not　permit　them　to　roost　around
promiscuously；　they　put　them　in　a　coop　as　strong　as　a　fireproof　safe　and
keep　it　in　the　kitchen　at　night。　　The　method　I　speak　of　is　not　always　a
bright　and　satisfying　success；　and　yet　there　are　so　many　little　articles
of　vertu　about　a　kitchen；　that　if　you　fail　on　the　coop　you　can　generally
bring　away　something　else。　　I　brought　away　a　nice　steel　trap　one　night；
worth　ninety　cents。

But　what　is　the　use　in　my　pouring　out　my　whole　intellect　on　this　subject？
I　have　shown　the　Western　New　York　Poultry　Society　that　they　have　taken　to
their　bosom　a　party　who　is　not　a　spring　chicken　by　any　means；　but　a　man
who　knows　all　about　poultry；　and　is　just　as　high　up　in　the　most　efficient
methods　of　raising　it　as　the　president　of　the　institution　himself。
I　thank　these　gentlemen　for　the　honorary　membership　they　have　conferred
upon　me；　and　shall　stand　at　all　times　ready　and　willing　to　testify　my
good　feeling　and　my　official　zeal　by　deeds　as　well　as　by　this　hastily
penned　advice　and　information。　　Whenever　they　are　ready　to　go　to　raising
poultry；　let　them　call　for　me　any　evening　after　eleven　o'clock；






EXPERIENCE　OF　THE　McWILLIAMSES　WITH　MEMBRANOUS　CROUP

＇As　related　to　the　author　of　this　book　by　Mr。　McWilliams；　a　pleasant　New
York　gentleman　whom　the　said　author　met　by　chance　on　a　journey。＇

Well；　to　go　back　to　where　I　was　before　I　digressed　to　explain　to　you　how
that　frightful　and　incurable　disease；　membranous　croup；＇Diphtheria　D。W。＇
was　ravaging　the　town　and　driving　all　mothers　mad　with　terror；　I　called
Mrs。　McWilliams's　attention　to　little　Penelope；　and　said：

〃Darling；　I　wouldn't　let　that　child　be　chewing　that　pine　stick　if　I　were
you。〃

〃Precious；　where　is　the　harm　in　it？〃　　said　she；　but　at　the　same　time
preparing　to　take　away　the　stick　for　women　cannot　receive　even　the　most
palpably　judicious　suggestion　without　arguing　it；　that　is　married　women。

I　replied：

〃Love；　it　is　notorious　that　pine　is　the　least　nutritious　wood　that　a
child　can　eat。〃

My　wife's　hand　paused；　in　the　act　of　taking　the　stick；　and　returned
itself　to　her　lap。　　She　bridled　perceptibly；　and　said：

〃Hubby；　you　know　better　than　that。　　You　know　you　do。　　Doctors　all　say
that　the　turpentine　in　pine　wood　is　good　for　weak　back　and　the　kidneys。〃

〃AhI　was　under　a　misapprehension。　　I　did　not　know　that　the　child's
kidneys　and　spine　were　affected；　and　that　the　family　physician　had
recommended〃

〃Who　said　the　child's　spine　and　kidneys　were　affected？〃

〃My　love；　you　intimated　it。〃

〃The　idea！　　I　never　intimated　anything　of　the　kind。〃

〃Why；　my　dear；　it　hasn't　been　two　minutes　since　you　said〃

〃Bother　what　I　said！　　I　don't　care　what　I　did　say。　　There　isn't　any　harm
in　the　child's　chewing　a　bit　of　pine　stick　if　she　wants　to；　and　you　know
it　perfectly　well。　　And　she　shall　chew　it；　too。　　So　there；　now！〃

〃Say　no　more；　my　dear。　　I　now　see　the　force　of　your　reasoning；　and　I　will
go　and　order　two　or　three　cords　of　the　best　pine　wood　to…day。　　No　child
of　mine　shall　want　while　I〃

〃Oh；　please　go　along　to　your　office　and　let　me　have　some　peace。　　A　body
can　never　make　the　simplest　remark　but　you　must　take　it　up　and　go　to
arguing　and　arguing　and　arguing　till　you　don't　know　what　you　are　talking
about；　and　you　never　do。〃

〃Very　well；　it　shall　be　as　you　say。　　But　there　is　a　want　of　logic　in　your
last　remark　which〃

However；　she　was　gone　with　a　flourish　before　I　could　finish；　and　had
taken　the　child　with　her。　　That　night　at　dinner　she　confronted　me　with　a
face　a　white　as　a　sheet：

〃Oh；　Mortimer；　there's　another！　　Little　Georgi　Gordon　is　taken。〃

〃Membranous　croup？〃

〃Membranous　croup。〃

〃Is　there　any　hope　for　him？〃

〃None　in　the　wide　world。　　Oh；　what　is　to　be　come　of　us！〃

By　and　by　a　nurse　brought　in　our　Penelope　to　say　good　night　and　offer　the
customary　prayer　at　the　mother's　knee。　　In　the　midst　of　〃Now　I　lay　me
down　to　sleep；〃　she　gave　a　slight　cough！　　My　wife　fell　back　like　one
stricken　with　death。　　But　the　next　moment　she　was　up　and　brimming　with
the　activities　which　terror　inspires。

She　commanded　that　the　child's　crib　be　removed　from　the　nursery　to　our
bedroom；　and　she　went　along　to　see　the　order　executed。　　She　took　me　with
her；　of　course。　　We　got　matters　arranged　with　speed。　　A　cot…bed　was　put
up　in　my　wife's　dressing　room　for　the　nurse。　　But　now　Mrs。　McWilliams
said　we　were　too　far　away　from　the　other　baby；　and（　what　if　he　were　to
have　the　symptoms　in　the　nightand　she　blanched　again；　poor　thing。

We　then　restored　the　crib　and　the　nurse　to　the　nursery　and　put　up　a　bed
for　ourselves　in　a　room　adjoining。

Presently；　however；　Mrs。　McWilliams　said　suppose　the　baby　should　catch　it
from　Penelope？　　This　thought　struck　a　new　panic　to　her　heart；　and　the
tribe　of　us　could　not　get　the　crib　out　of　the　nursery　again　fast　enough
to　satisfy　my　wife；　though　she　assisted　in　her　own　person　and　well…nigh
pulled　the　crib　to　pieces　in　her　frantic　hurry。

We　moved　down…stairs；　but　there　was　no　place　there　to　stow　the　nurse；　and
Mrs。　McWilliams　said　the　nurse's　experience　would　be　an　inestimable　help。
So　we　returned；　bag　and　baggage；　to　our　own　bedroom　once　more；　and　felt　a
great　gladness；　like　storm…buffeted　birds　that　have　found　their　nest
again。

Mrs。　McWilliams　sped　to　the　nursery　to　see　how　things　were　going　on
there。　　She　was　back　in　a　moment　with　a　new　dread。　　She　said：

〃What　can　make　Baby　sleep　so？〃

I　said：

〃Why；　my　darling；　Baby　always　sleeps　like　a　graven　image。〃

〃I　know。　　I　know；　but　there's　something　peculiar　about　his　sleep　now。
He　seems　totohe　seems　to　breathe　so　regularly。　　Oh；　this　is
dreadful。〃

〃But；　my　dear；　he　always　breathes　regularly。〃

〃Oh；　I　know　it；　but　there's　something　frightful　about　it　now。　　His　nurse
is　too　young　and　inexperienced。　　Maria　shall　stay　there　with　her；　and　be
on　hand　if　anything　happens。〃

〃That　is　a　good　idea；　but　who　will　help　you？〃

〃You　can　help　me　all　I　want。　　I　wouldn't　allow　anybody　to　do　anything　but
myself；　anyhow；　at　such　a　time　as　this。〃

I　said　I　would　feel　mean　to　lie　abed　and　sleep；　and　leave　her　to　watch
and　toil　over　our　little　patient　all　the　weary　night。　　But　she　reconciled
me　to　it。　　So　old　Maria　departed　and　took　up　her　ancient　quarters　in　the
nursery。

Penelope　coughed　twice　in　her　sleep。

〃Oh；　why　don't　that　doctor　come！　　Mortimer；　this　room　is　too　warm。　　This
room　is　certainly　too　warm。　　Turn　off　the　register…quick！〃

I　shut　it　off；　glancing　at　the　thermometer　at　the　same　time；　and
wondering　to　myself　if　70　was　too　warm　for　a　sick　child。

The　coachman　arrived　from　down…town　now　wit