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第26章

the complete plays-第26章

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            Some rascal come a…poaching

            Who's heard that wine we're broaching?



ALL。              Who may this be?

                  Who may this be?

            Who is he?  Who is he?  Who is he?



Enter HERALD。



HER。  The Prince of Monte Carlo;

            From Mediterranean water;

      Has come here to bestow

            On you his beautiful daughter。

      They've paid off all they owe;

            As every statesman oughter

      That Prince of Monte Carlo

            And his be…eautiful daughter!



CHORUS。           The Prince of Monte Carlo; etc。



HER。  The Prince of Monte Carlo;

            Who is so very partickler;

      Has heard that you're also

            For ceremony a stickler

      Therefore he lets you know

            By word of mouth auric'lar

      (That Prince of Monte Carlo

            Who is so very particklar)



CHORUS。     The Prince of Monte Carlo; etc。



HER。  That Prince of Monte Carlo;

            From Mediterranean water;

      Has come here to bestow

            On you his be…eautiful daughter!



LUD。 (recit。)。    His Highness we know notnor the locality

      In which is situate his Principality;

      But; as he guesses by some odd fatality;

      This is the shop for cut and dried formality!

            Let him appear

            He'll find that we're

      Remarkable for cut and dried formality。



(Reprise of March。  Exit HERALD。

LUDWIG beckons his Court。)



LUD。  I have a planI'll tell you all the plot of it

      He wants formalityhe shall have a lot of it!

(Whispers to them; through symphony。)

      Conceal yourselves; and when I give the cue;

      Spring out on himyou all know what to do!

(All conceal themselves behind the draperies that enclose the

stage。)



Pompous March。  Enter the PRINCE and PRINCESS OF MONTE CARLO;

      attended by six theatrical…looking nobles and the Court

      Costumier。



                DUETPrince and PRINCESS。



PRINCE。     We're rigged out in magnificent array

                  (Our own clothes are much gloomier)

            In costumes which we've hired by the day

                  From a very well…known costumier。



COST。 (bowing)。         I am the well…known costumier。



PRINCESS。   With a brilliant staff a Prince should make a show

                  (It's a rule that never varies);

            So we've engaged from the Theatre Monaco

                  Six supernumeraries。



NOBLES。           We're the supernumeraries。



ALL。              At a salary immense;

                  Quite regardless of expense;

            Six supernumeraries!



PRINCE。     They do not speak; for they break our grammar's laws;

                  And their language is lamentable

            And they never take off their gloves; because

                  Their nails are not presentable。



NOBLES。           Our nails are not presentable!



PRINCESS。   To account for their shortcomings manifest

                  We explain; in a whisper bated;

            They are wealthy members of the brewing interest

                  To the Peerage elevated。



NOBLES。           To the Peerage elevated。



ALL。        They're/We're very; very rich;

                  And accordingly; as sich;

            To the Peerage elevated。



      PRINCE。  Well; my dear; here we are at lastjust in time

to

compel Duke Rudolph to fulfil the terms of his marriage contract。 

Another hour and we should have been too late。

      PRINCESS。  Yes; papa; and if you hadn't fortunately

discovered a means of making an income by honest industry; we

should never have got here at all。

      PRINCE。  Very true。  Confined for the last two years within

the precincts of my palace by an obdurate bootmaker who held a

warrant for my arrest; I devoted my enforced leisure to a study

of the doctrine of chancesmainly with the view of ascertaining

whether there was the remotest chance of my ever going out for a

walk againand this led to the discovery of a singularly

fascinating little round game which I have called Roulette; and

by which; in one sitting; I won no less than five thousand

francs!  My first act was to pay my bootmakermy second; to

engage a good useful working set of second…hand noblesand my

third; to hurry you off to Pfennig Halbpfennig as fast as a train

de luxe could carry us!

      PRINCESS。  Yes; and a pretty job…lot of second…hand nobles

you've scraped together!

      PRINCE (doubtfully)。  Pretty; you think?  Humph!  I don't

know。  I should say tol…lol; my loveonly tol…lol。  They are not

wholly satisfactory。  There is a certain air of unreality about

themthey are not convincing。

      COST。  But; my goot friend; vhat can you expect for

eighteenpence a day!

      PRINCE。  Now take this Peer; for instance。  What the deuce

do you call him?

      COST。  Him?  Oh; he's a swellhe's the Duke of Riviera。

      PRINCE。  Oh; he's a Duke; is he?  Well; that's no reason

why

he should look so confoundedly haughty。  (To Noble。)  Be affable;

sir!  (Noble takes attitude of affability。)  That's better。

(Passing to another。)  Now; who's this with his moustache coming

off?

      COST。  Vhy; you're Viscount Mentone; ain't you?

      NOBLE。  Blest if I know。  (Turning up sword…belt。)  It's

wrote hereyes; Viscount Mentone。

      COST。  Then vhy don't you say so?  'Old yerself upyou

ain't carryin' sandwich boards now。  (Adjusts his moustache。)

      PRINCE。  Now; once for all; you Peerswhen His Highness

arrives; don't stand like sticks; but appear to take an

intelligent and sympathetic interest in what is going on。  You

needn't say anything; but let your gestures be in accordance with

the spirit of the conversation。  Now take the word from me。 

Affability!  (attitude)。  Submission!  (attitude)。  Surprise!

(attitude)。  Shame!  (attitude)。  Grief!  (attitude)。  Joy!

(attitude)。  That's better!  You can do it if you like!

      PRINCESS。  But; papa; where in the world is the Court? 

There is positively no one here to receive us!  I can't help

feeling that Rudolph wants to get out of it because I'm poor。 

He's a miserly little wretchthat's what he is。

      PRINCE。  Well; I shouldn't go so far as to say that。  I

should rather describe him as an enthusiastic collector of

coinsof the realmand we must not be too hard upon a

numismatist if he feels a certain disinclination to part with

some of his really very valuable specimens。  It's a pretty hobby:

I've often thought I should like to collect some coins myself。

      PRINCESS。  Papa; I'm sure there's some one behind that

curtain。  I saw it move!

      PRINCE。  Then no doubt they are coming。  Now mind; you

Peershaughty affability combined with a sense of what is due to

your exalted ranks; or I'll fine you half a franc eachupon my

soul I will!



(Gong。  The curtains fly back and the Court are discovered。 They

      give a wild yell and rush on to the stage dancing wildly;

      with PRINCE; PRINCESS; and Nobles; who are taken by

surprise

      at first; but eventually join in a reckless dance。  At the

      end all fall down exhausted。)



      LUD。  There; what do you think of that?  That's our

official

ceremonial for the reception of visitors of the very highest

distinction。

      PRINCE (puzzled)。 It's very quaintvery curious indeed。 

Prettily footed; too。  Prettily footed。

      LUD。  Would you like to see how we say 〃good…bye〃 to

visitors of distinction?  That ceremony is also performed with

the foot。

      PRINCE。  Really; this toneah; but perhaps you have not

completely grasped the situation?

      LUD。  Not altogether。

      PRINCE。  Ah; then I'll give you a lead over。

(Significantly:)  I am the father of the Princess of Monte Carlo。

Doesn't that convey any idea to the Grand Ducal mind?

      LUD。 (stolidly)。  Nothing definite。

      PRINCE (aside)。  H'mver

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