the complete plays-第113章
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＇The Judge having by this time transferred his admiration to
Plaintiff； directs the Usher to take the note from First
Bridesmaid and hand it to Plaintiff； who reads it；
kisses it rapturously； and places it in her bosom。
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS
Comes the broken flower； etc。
JUDGE。 Oh； never； never； never；
Since I joined the human race；
Saw I so excellently fair a face。
THE JURY （shaking their forefingers at him）。 Ah； sly dog！
Ah； sly dog！
JUDGE （to Jury）。 How say you？
Is she not designed for capture？
FOREMAN （after consulting with the Jury）。 We've but one word；
m'lud； and that isRapture！
PLAINTIFF （curtseying）。 Your kindness； gentlemen； quite
overpowers！
JURY。 We love you fondly； and would make you ours！
BRIDESMAIDS （shaking their forefingers at Jury）。
Ah； sly dogs！ Ah； sly dogs！
RECIT COUNSEL for PLAINTIFF
May it please you； m'lud！
Gentlemen of the jury！
ARIA COUNSEL
With a sense of deep emotion；
I approach this painful case；
For I never had a notion
That a man could be so base；
Or deceive a girl confiding；
Vows； etcetera deriding。
ALL。 He deceived a girl confiding；
Vows； etcetera； deriding。
＇Plaintiff falls sobbing on Counsel's breast and remains there。
COUNSEL。 See my interesting client；
Victim of a heartless wile！
See the traitor all defiant
Wear a supercilious smile！
Sweetly smiled my client on him；
Coyly woo'd and gently won him。
ALL。 Sweetly smiled； etc。
COUNSEL。 Swiftly fled each honeyed hour
Spent with this unmanly male！
Sommerville became a bow'r；
Alston an Arcadian Vale；
Breathing concentrated otto！
An existence la Watteau。
ALL。 Bless； us； concentrated otto！ etc。
COUNSEL。 Picture； then； my client naming；
And insisting on the day：
Picture him excuses framing
Going from her far away；
Doubly criminal to do so；
For the maid had bought her trousseau！
ALL。 Doubly criminal； etc。
COUNSEL （to Plaintiff； who weeps）
Cheer up； my prettyoh； cheer up！
JURY。 Cheer up； cheer up； we love you！
＇Counsel leads Plaintiff fondly into Witness…box； he takes a tender
leave of her； and resumes his place in Court。
（Plaintiff reels as if about to faint）
JUDGE。 That she is reeling
Is plain to see！
FOREMAN。 If faint you're feeling
Recline on me！
＇She falls sobbing on to the Foreman's breast。
PLAINTIFF （feebly）。 I shall recover
If left alone。
ALL。 （shaking their fists at Defendant）
Oh； perjured lover；
Atone！ atone！
FOREMAN。 Just like a father ＇Kissing her
I wish to be。
JUDGE。 （approaching her）
Or； if you'd rather；
Recline on me！
＇She jumps on to Bench； sits down by the Judge； and falls sobbing
on his breast。
COUNSEL。 Oh！ fetch some water
From far Cologne！
ALL。 For this sad slaughter
Atone！ atone！
JURY。 （shaking fists at Defendant）
Monster； monster； dread our fury
There's the Judge； and we're the Jury！
Come！ Substantial damages；
Dam…
USHER。 Silence in Court！
SONG DEFENDANT
Oh； gentlemen； listen； I pray；
Though I own that my heart has been ranging；
Of nature the laws I obey；
For nature is constantly changing。
The moon in her phases is found；
The time； and the wind； and the weather。
The months in succession come round；
And you don't find two Mondays together。
Consider the moral； I pray；
Nor bring a young fellow to sorrow；
Who loves this young lady to…day；
And loves that young lady to…morrow。
BRIDESMAIDS （rushing forward； and kneeling to Jury）。
Consider the moral； etc。
One cannot eat breakfast all day；
Nor is it the act of a sinner；
When breakfast is taken away；
To turn his attention to dinner。
And it's not in the range of belief；
To look upon him as a glutton；
Who； when he is tired of beef；
Determines to tackle the mutton。
But this I am willing to say；
If it will appease her sorrow；
I'll marry this lady to…day；
And I'll marry the other to…morrow。
BRIDESMAIDS （rushing forward as before）
But this he is willing say； etc。
RECIT JUDGE
That seems a reasonable proposition；
To which； I think； your client may agree。
COUNSEL
But I submit； m'lud； with all submission；
To marry two at once is Burglaree！
＇Referring to law book。
In the reign of James the Second；
It was generally reckoned
As a rather serious crime
To marry two wives at a time。
＇Hands book up to Judge； who reads it。
ALL。 Oh； man of learning！
QUARTETTE
JUDGE。 A nice dilemma we have here；
That calls for all our wit：
COUNSEL。 And at this stage； it don't appear
That we can settle it。
DEFENDANT （in Witness…box）。
If I to wed the girl am loth
A breach 'twill surely be
PLAINTIFF。 And if he goes and marries both；
It counts as Burglaree！
ALL。 A nice dilemma we have here；
That calls for all our wit。
DUET PLAINTIFF and DEFENDANT
PLAINTIFF （embracing him rapturously）
I love himI love himwith fervour unceasing
I worship and madly adore；
My blind adoration is ever increasing；
My loss I shall ever deplore。
Oh； see what a blessing； what love and caressing
I've lost； and remember it； pray；
When you I'm addressing； are busy assessing
The damages Edwin must pay…
Yes； he must pay！
DEFENDANT （repelling her furiously）
I smoke like a furnaceI'm always in liquor；
A ruffiana bullya sot；
I'm sure I should thrash her； perhaps I should kick her；
I am such a very bad lot！
I'm not prepossessing； as you may be guessing；
She couldn't endure me a day！
Recall my professing； when you are assessing
The damages Edwin must pay！
PLAINTIFF。 Yes； he must pay！
＇She clings to him passionately； after a struggle； he throws her
off into arms of Counsel。
JURY。 We would be fairly acting；
But this is most distracting！
If； when in liquor he would kick her；
That is an abatement。
RECIT JUDGE
The question； gentlemenis one of liquor。
You ask for guidancethis is my reply：
He says； when tipsy； he would thrash and kick her。
Let's make him tipsy； gentlemen； and try！
COUNSEL。 With all respe
