the university of hard knocks-第2章
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the Infinite； and that it is done by our own personal overcoming； and that we never finish it。
Have you noticed that no sentence； nor a million sentences； can bound life？ Have you noticed that every statement does not quite cover it？ No statement； no library； can tell all about life。 No success rule can alone solve the problem。 You must average it all and struggle up to a higher vision。
We are told that the stomach needs bulk as well as nutriment。 It would not prosper with the necessary elements in their condensed form。 So abstract truths in their lowest terms do not always promote mental digestion like more bulk in the way of pictures and discussions of these truths。 Here is bulk as well as nutriment。
If you get the feeling that the first personal pronoun is being overworked； I remind you that this is more a confession than a lecture。 You cannot confess without referring to the confesser。
To Everybody in My Audience
I like you because I am like you。
I believe in you because I believe in myself。 We are all one family。 I believe in your Inside； not in your Outside； whoever you are； whatever you are； wherever you are。
I believe in the Angel of Good inside every block of human marble。 I believe it must be carved out in The University of Hard Knocks。
I believe all this pride； vanity； selfishness； self…righteousness； hypocrisy and human frailty are the Outside that must be chipped away。
I believe the Hard Knocks cannot injure the Angel； but can only reveal it。
I hope you are getting your Hard Knocks。
I care little about your glorious or inglorious past。 I care little about your present。 I care much about your future for that is to see more of the Angel in you。
The University of Hard Knocks
Chapter I
The Books Are Bumps
THE greatest school is the University of Hard Knocks。 Its books are bumps。
Every bump is a lesson。 If we learn the lesson with one bump； we do not get that bump again。 We do not need it。 We have traveled past it。 They do not waste the bumps。 We get promoted to the next bump。
But if we are 〃naturally bright；〃 or there is something else the matter with us； so that we do not learn the lesson of the bump we have just gotten； then that bump must come back and bump us again。
Some of us learn to go forward with a few bumps； but most of us are 〃naturally bright〃 and have to be pulverized。
The tuition in the University of Hard Knocks is not free。 Experience is the dearest teacher in the world。 Most of us spend our lives in the A…B…C's of getting started。
We matriculate in the cradle。
We never graduate。 When we stop learning we are due for another bump。
There are two kinds of peoplewise people and fools。 The fools are the people who think they have graduated。
The playground is all of God's universe。
The university colors are black and blue。
The yell is 〃ouch〃 repeated ad lib。
The Need of the Bumps
When I was thirteen I knew a great deal more than I do now。 There was a sentence in my grammar that disgusted me。 It was by some foreigner I had never met。 His name was Shakespeare。 It was this：
〃Sweet are the uses of adversity； Which； like the toad； ugly and venomous； Wears yet a priceless jewel in its head； And thus our life； exempt from public haunt； Finds tongues in trees； books in running brooks； Sermons in stones； and good in everything。〃
〃Tongues in trees；〃 I thought。 〃Trees can't talk！ That man is crazy。 Books in running brooks！ Why nobody never puts no books in no running brooks。 They'd get wet。 And that sermons in stones！ They get preachers to preach sermons； and they build houses out of stones。〃
I was sorry for Shakespearewhen I was thirteen。
But I am happy today that I have traveled a little farther。 I am happy that I have begun to learn the lessons from the bumps。 I am happy that I am learning the sweet tho painful lessons of the University of Adversity。 I am happy that I am beginning to listen。 For as I learn to listen； I hear every tree speaking； every stone preaching and every running brook the unfolding of a book。
Children； I fear you will not be greatly interested in what is to follow。 Perhaps you are 〃naturally bright〃 and feel sorry for Shakespeare。
I was not interested when father and mother told me these things。 I knew they meant all right； but the world had moved since they were young； and now two and two made seven； because we lived so much faster。
It is so hard to tell young people anything。 They know better。 So they have to get bumped just where we got bumped； to learn that two and two always makes four； and 〃whatsoever a man soweth； that shall he also reap。〃
But if you will remember some of these things； they will feel like poultices by and by when the bumps come。
The Two Colleges
As we get bumped and battered on life's pathway； we discover we get two kinds of bumpsbumps that we need and bumps that we do not need。
Bumps that we bump into and bumps that bump into us。
We discover； in other words； that The University of Hard Knocks has two collegesThe College of Needless Knocks and The College of Needful Knocks。
We attend both colleges。
Chapter II
The College of Needless Knocks
The Bumps That We Bump Into
NEARLY all the bumps we get are Needless Knocks。
There comes a vivid memory of one of my early Needless Knocks as I say that。 It was back at the time when I was trying to run our home to suit myself。 I sat in the highest chair in the family circle。 I was three years old and ready to graduate。
That day they had the little joy and sunshine of the family in his high…chair throne right up beside the dinner table。 The coffee…pot was within grabbing distance。
I became enamored with that coffee…pot。 I decided I needed that coffee…pot in my business。 I reached over to get the coffee…pot。 Then I discovered a woman beside me； my mother。 She was the most meddlesome woman I had ever known。 I had not tried to do one thing in three years that that woman had not meddled into。
And that day when I wanted the coffee…potI did want it。 Nobody knows how I desired that coffee…pot。 〃One thing thou lackest；〃 a coffee…pot I was reaching over to get it； that woman said； 〃Don't touch that！〃
The longer I thought about it the more angry I became。 What right has that woman to meddle into my affairs all the time？ I have stood this petticoat tyranny three years； and it is time to stop it！
I stopped it。 I got the coffee…pot。 I know I got the coffee…pot。 I got it unanimously。 I know when I got it and I also know where I got it。 I got about a gallon of the reddest； hottest coffee a bad boy ever spilled over himself。
O…o…o…o…o…o！ I can feel it yet！
There were weeks after that when I was upholstered。 They put applebutter on meand coal oil and white…of…an…egg and starch and anything else the neighbors could think of。 They would bring it over and rub it on the little joy and sunshine of the family； who had gotten temporarily eclipsed。
Teaching a Wilful Child
You see； my mother's way was to tell me and then let me do as I pleased。 She told me not to get the coffee…pot and then let me get it； knowing that it would burn me。 She would say； 〃Don't。〃 Then she would go on with her knitting and let me do as I pleased。
Why don't mothers knit today？
Mother would say； 〃Don't fall in the well。〃 I could go and jump in the well after that and she would not look at me。 I do not argue that this is the way to raise children； but I insist that this was the most kind and effective way to rear one stubborn boy I know of。 The neighbors and the ladies' aid society often said my mother was cruel with that angel child。 But the neighbors did not know what kind of an insect mother was trying to raise。 Mother did know。 She knew how stubborn and self…willed I was。 It came from father's 〃side of the house。〃
Mother knew that to argue with me was to flatter me。 Tell me； serve notice upon me； and then let me go ahead and get my coffee…pot。 That was the quickest and kindest way to teach me。
I learned very quickly that if I did not hear mother； and heed； a coffee…pot would spill upon me。 I cannot remember when I disobeyed my mother that a coffee…pot of
