the annals of the parish-第15章
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was a lesson to me never to allow any preacher to mount my pulpit； unless I knew something of his moral character。
In other respects； this year passed very peaceably in the parish： there was a visible increase of worldly circumstances； and the hedges which had been planted along the toll…road； began to put forth their branches； and to give new notions of orderlyness and beauty to the farmers。 Mrs Malcolm heard from time to time from her son Charles； on board the man…of…war the Avenger； where he was midshipman； and he had found a friend in the captain； that was just a father to him。 Her second son； Robert； being out of his time at Irville； went to the Clyde to look for a berth； and was hired to go to Jamaica； in a ship called the Trooper。 He was a lad of greater sobriety of nature than Charles； douce； honest； and faithful； and when he came home； though he brought no limes to me to make punch； like his brother； he brought a Muscovy duck to Lady Macadam； who had； as I have related； in a manner educated his sister Kate。 That duck was the first of the kind we had ever seen； and many thought it was of the goose species； only with short bowly legs。 It was； however； a tractable and homely beast； and after some confabulation； as my lady herself told Mrs Balwhidder； it was received into fellowship by her other ducks and poultry。 It is not； however； so much on account of the rarity of the creature； that I have introduced it here； as for the purpose of relating a wonderful operation that was performed on it by Miss Sabrina； the schoolmistress。
There happened to be a sack of beans in our stable； and Lady Macadam's hens and fowls； which were not overly fed at home through the inattention of her servants； being great stravaigers for their meat； in passing the door went in to pick； and the Muscovy； seeing a hole in the bean…sack； dabbled out a crapful before she was disturbed。 The beans swelled on the poor bird's stomach； and her crap bellied out like the kyte of a Glasgow magistrate； until it was just a sight to be seen with its head back on its shoulders。 The bairns of the clachan followed it up and down； crying； the lady's muckle jock's aye growing bigger； till every heart was wae for the creature。 Some thought it was afflicted with a tympathy； and others； that it was the natural way for such…like ducks to cleck their young。 In short； we were all concerned； and my lady； having a great opinion of Miss Sabrina's skill； had a consultation with her on the case； at which Miss Sabrina advised； that what she called the Caesarean operation should be tried； which she herself performed accordingly； by opening the creature's crap； and taking out as many beans as filled a mutchkin stoup； after which she sewed it up； and the Muscovy went its way to the water…side； and began to swim； and was as jocund as ever； insomuch； that in three days after it was quite cured of all the consequences of its surfeit。
I had at one time a notion to send an account of this to the Scots Magazine； but something always came in the way to prevent me； so that it has been reserved for a place in this chronicle； being； after Mr Heckletext's affair； the most memorable thing in our history of this year。
CHAPTER XIV YEAR 1773
In this Ann。 Dom。 there was something like a plea getting to a head； between the session and some of the heritors； about a new school… house； the thatch having been torn from the rigging of the old one by a blast of wind； on the first Monday of February； by which a great snow storm got admission； and the school was rendered utterly uninhabitable。 The smaller sort of lairds were very willing to come into the plan with an extra contribution； because they respected the master； and their bairns were at the school； but the gentlemen； who had tutors in their own houses； were not so manageable； and some of them even went so far as to say； that the kirk； being only wanted on Sunday； would do very well for a school all the rest of the week； which was a very profane way of speaking； and I was resolved to set myself against any such thing； and to labour； according to the power and efficacy of my station； to get a new school built。
Many a meeting the session had on the subject； and the heritors debated； and discussed； and revised their proceedings； and still no money for the needful work was forthcoming。 Whereupon it happened one morning； as I was rummaging in my scrutoire； that I laid my hand on the Lord Eaglesham's letter anent Charles Malcolm； and it was put into my head at that moment； that if I was to write to his lordship； who was the greatest heritor； and owned now the major part of the parish； that by his help and influence I might be an instrument to the building of a comfortable new school。 Accordingly； I sat down and wrote my lord all about the accident； and the state of the school…house； and the divisions and seditions among the heritors； and sent the letter to him at London by the post the same day； without saying a word to any living soul on the subject。
This in me was an advised thought； for； by the return of post； his lordship with his own hand； in a most kind manner； authorized me to say that he would build a new school at his own cost； and bade me go over and consult about it with his steward at the castle； to whom he had written by the same post the necessary instructions。 Nothing could exceed the gladness which the news gave to the whole parish； and none said more in behalf of his lordship's bounty and liberality than the heritors； especially those gentry who grudged the undertaking； when it was thought that it would have to come out of their own pock…nook。
In the course of the summer； just as the roof was closing in of the school…house； my lord came to the castle with a great company； and was not there a day till he sent for me to come over； on the next Sunday； to dine with him； but I sent him word that I could not do so； for it would be a transgression of the Sabbath； which made him send his own gentleman； to make his apology for having taken so great a liberty with me； and to beg me to come on the Monday； which I accordingly did； and nothing could be better than the discretion with which I was used。 There was a vast company of English ladies and gentlemen； and his lordship； in a most jocose manner； told them all how he had fallen on the midden； and how I had clad him in my clothes； and there was a wonder of laughing and diversion； but the most particular thing in the company； was a large； round…faced man； with a wig； that was a dignitary in some great Episcopalian church in London； who was extraordinary condescending towards me； drinking wine with me at the table； and saying weighty sentences； in a fine style of language； about the becoming grace of simplicity and innocence of heart； in the clergy of all denominations of Christians； which I was pleased to hear； for really he had a proud red countenance； and I could not have thought he was so mortified to humility within； had I not heard with what sincerity he delivered himself； and seen how much reverence and attention was paid to him by all present； particularly by my lord's chaplain； who was a pious and pleasant young divine； though educated at Oxford for the Episcopalian persuasion。
One day； soon after； as I was sitting in my closet conning a sermon for the next Sunday； I was surprised by a visit from the dean； as the dignitary was called。 He had come； he said； to wait on me as rector of the parishfor so； it seems； they call a pastor in Englandand to say； that； if it was agreeable； he would take a family dinner with us before he left the castle。 I could make no objection to this kindness； but said I hoped my lord would come with him； and that we would do our best to entertain them with all suitable hospitality。 About an hour or so after he had returned to the castle； one of the flunkeys brought a letter from his lordship； to say； that not only he would come with the dean； but that they would bring his other guests with them； and that； as they could only drink London wine； the butler would send me a hamper in the morning； assured； as he was pleased to say； that Mrs Balwhidder would otherwise provide good cheer。
This notification； however； was a gr
