the fatal boots-第8章

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friend；　and　so　we　made　a　party　CARRY；　as　the　French　say。　　Some

naval　officers　were　occupied　in　a　similar　way　at　a　table　next　to

ours。



WellI　didn't　spare　the　bottle；　either　for　myself　or　for　my

friends；　and　we　grew　very　talkative；　and　very　affectionate　as　the

drinking　went　on。　　Each　man　told　stories　of　his　gallantry　in　the

field；　or　amongst　the　ladies；　as　officers　will；　after　dinner。

Clopper　confided　to　the　company　his　wish　that　I　should　marry　his

sister；　and　vowed　that　he　thought　me　the　best　fellow　in　Christendom。



Ensign　Dobble　assented　to　this。　　〃But　let　Miss　Clopper　beware；〃

says　he；　〃for　Stubbs　is　a　sad　fellow：　he　has　had　I　don't　know　how

many　liaisons　already；　and　he　has　been　engaged　to　I　don't　know　how

many　women。〃



〃Indeed！〃　says　Clopper。　　〃Come；　Stubbs；　tell　us　your　adventures。〃



〃Psha！〃　said　I；　modestly；　〃there　is　nothing；　indeed；　to　tell。　　I

have　been　in　love；　my　dear　boywho　has　not？and　I　have　been

jiltedwho　has　not？〃



Clopper　swore　he　would　blow　his　sister's　brains　out　if　ever　SHE

served　me　so。



〃Tell　him　about　Miss　Crutty；〃　said　Dobble。　　〃He！　he！　　Stubbs　served

THAT　woman　out；　anyhow；　she　didn't　jilt　HIM。　　I'll　be　sworn。〃



〃Really；　Dobble；　you　are　too　bad；　and　should　not　mention　names。

The　fact　is；　the　girl　was　desperately　in　love　with　me；　and　had

moneysixty　thousand　pounds；　upon　my　reputation。　　Well；　everything

was　arranged；　when　who　should　come　down　from　London　but　a

relation。〃



〃Well；　and　did　he　prevent　the　match？〃



〃Prevent　ityes；　sir；　I　believe　you　he　did；　though　not　in　the

sense　that　YOU　mean。　　He　would　have　given　his　eyesay；　and　ten

thousand　pounds　moreif　I　would　have　accepted　the　girl；　but　I

would　not。〃



〃Why；　in　the　name　of　goodness？〃



〃Sir；　her　uncle　was　a　SHOEMAKER。　　I　never　would　debase　myself　by

marrying　into　such　a　family。〃



〃Of　course　not；〃　said　Dobble；　〃he　couldn't；　you　know。　　Well；　now

tell　him　about　the　other　girl；　Mary　Waters；　you　know。〃



〃Hush；　Dobble；　hush！　don't　you　see　one　of　those　naval　officers　has

turned　round　and　heard　you？　　My　dear　Clopper；　it　was　a　mere

childish　bagatelle。〃



〃Well；　but　let's　have　it；〃　said　Clopper〃let's　have　it。　　I　won't

tell　my　sister；　you　know。〃　　And　he　put　his　hand　to　his　nose　and

looked　monstrous　wise。



〃Nothing　of　that　sort；　Clopperno；　no'pon　honorlittle　Bob

Stubbs　is　no　LIBERTINE；　and　the　story　is　very　simple。　　You　see　that

my　father　has　a　small　place；　merely　a　few　hundred　acres；　at

Sloffemsquiggle。　　Isn't　it　a　funny　name？　　Hang　it；　there's　the

naval　gentleman　staring　again；〃（I　looked　terribly　fierce　as　I

returned　this　officer's　stare；　and　continued　in　a　loud　careless

voice）。　　Well；　at　this　Sloffemsquiggle　there　lived　a　girl；　a　Miss

Waters；　the　niece　of　some　blackguard　apothecary　in　the　neighborhood；

but　my　mother　took　a　fancy　to　the　girl；　and　had　her　up　to　the　park

and　petted　her。　　We　were　both　youngandandthe　girl　fell　in　love

with　me；　that's　the　fact。　　I　was　obliged　to　repel　some　rather　warm

advances　that　she　made　me；　and　here；　upon　my　honor　as　a　gentleman；

you　have　all　the　story　about　which　that　silly　Dobble　makes　such　a

noise。



Just　as　I　finished　this　sentence。　　I　found　myself　suddenly　taken　by

the　nose；　and　a　voice　shouting　out；



〃Mr。　Stubbs；　you　are　A　LIAR　AND　A　SCOUNDREL！　　Take　this；　sir；and

this；　for　daring　to　meddle　with　the　name　of　an　innocent　lady。〃



I　turned　round　as　well　as　I　couldfor　the　ruffian　had　pulled　me

out　of　my　chairand　beheld　a　great　marine　monster；　six　feet　high；

who　was　occupied　in　beating　and　kicking　me；　in　the　most

ungentlemanly　manner；　on　my　cheeks；　my　ribs；　and　between　the　tails

of　my　coat。　　〃He　is　a　liar；　gentlemen；　and　a　scoundrel！　　The

bootmaker　had　detected　him　in　swindling；　and　so　his　niece　refused

him。　　Miss　Waters　was　engaged　to　him　from　childhood；　and　he

deserted　her　for　the　bootmaker's　niece；　who　was　richer。〃And　then

sticking　a　card　between　my　stock　and　my　coat…collar；　in　what　is

called　the　scruff　of　my　neck；　the　disgusting　brute　gave　me　another

blow　behind　my　back；　and　left　the　coffee…room　with　his　friends。



Dobble　raised　me　up；　and　taking　the　card　from　my　neck；　read；

CAPTAIN　WATERS。　　Clopper　poured　me　out　a　glass　of　water；　and　said

in　my　ear；　〃If　this　is　true；　you　are　an　infernal　scoundrel；　Stubbs；

and　must　fight　me；　after　Captain　Waters；〃　and　he　flounced　out　of

the　room。



I　had　but　one　course　to　pursue。　　I　sent　the　Captain　a　short　and

contemptuous　note；　saying　that　he　was　beneath　my　anger。　　As　for

Clopper；　I　did　not　condescend　to　notice　his　remark　but　in　order　to

get　rid　of　the　troublesome　society　of　these　low　blackguards；　I

determined　to　gratify　an　inclination　I　had　long　entertained；　and

make　a　little　tour。　　I　applied　for　leave　of　absence；　and　set　off

THAT　VERY　NIGHT。　　I　can　fancy　the　disappointment　of　the　brutal

Waters；　on　coming；　as　he　did；　the　next　morning　to　my　quarters　and

finding　me　GONE。　　Ha！　ha！



After　this　adventure　I　became　sick　of　a　military　lifeat　least　the

life　of　my　own　regiment；　where　the　officers；　such　was　their

unaccountable　meanness　and　prejudice　against　me；　absolutely　refused

to　see　me　at　mess。　　Colonel　Craw　sent　me　a　letter　to　this　effect；

which　I　treated　as　it　deserved。I　never　once　alluded　to　it　in　any

way；　and　have　since　never　spoken　a　single　word　to　any　man　in　the

North　Bungays。





AUGUST。DOGS　HAVE　THEIR　DAYS。





See；　now；　what　life　is！　　I　have　had　ill…luck　on　ill…luck　from　that

day　to　this。　　I　have　sunk　in　the　world；　and；　instead　of　riding　my

horse　and　drinking　my　wine；　as　a　real　gentleman　should；　have　hardly

enough　now　to　buy　a　pint　of　ale；　ay；　and　am　very　glad　when　anybody

will　treat　me　to　one。　　Why；　why　was　I　born　to　undergo　such

unmerited　misfortunes？



You　must　know　that　very　soon　after　my　adventure　with　Miss　Crutty；

and　that　cowardly　ruffian；　Captain　Waters　（he　sailed　the　day　after

his　insult　to　me；　or　I　should　most　certainly　have　blown　his　brains

out；　NOW　he　is　living　in　England；　and　is　my　relation；　but；　of

course；　I　cut　the　fellow）very　soon　after　these　painful　events

another　happened；　which　ended；　too；　in　a　sad　disappointment。　　My

dear　papa　died；　and；　instead　of　leaving　five　thousand　pounds；　as　I

expected　at　the　very　least；　left　only　his　estate；　which　was　worth

but　two。　　The　land　and　house　were　left　to　me；　to　mamma　and　my

sisters　he　left；　to　be　sure；　a　sum　of　two　thousand　pounds　in　the

hands　of　that　eminent　firm　Messrs。　Pump；　Aldgate　and　Co。；　which

failed　within　six　months　after　his　demise；　and　paid　in　five　years

about　one　shilling　and　ninepence　in　the　pound；　which　really　was　all

my　dear　mother　and　sisters　had　to　live　upon。



The　poor　creatures　were　quite　unused　to　money　matters；　and；　would

you　believe　it？　when　the　news　came　of　Pump　and　Aldgate's　failure；

mamma　only　smiled；　and　threw　her　eyes　up　to　heaven；　and　said；

〃Blessed　be　God；　that　we　have　still　wherewithal　to　live。　　There　are

tens　of　thousands　in　this　world；　dear　children；　who　would　count　our

poverty　riches。〃　　And　with　this　she　kissed　my　two　sisters；　who

began　to　blubber；　as　girls　always　will　do；　and　threw　their　arms

round　her　neck；　and　then　round　my　neck；　until　I　was　half　stifled

with　their　embraces；　and　slobbered　all　over　with　their　tears。



〃Dearest　mamma；〃　said　I；　〃I　am　very　glad　to　see　the　noble　manner　in

which　you　bear　your　loss；　and　more　still　to　know　that　you　are　so

rich　as　to　be　able　to　put　up　with　it。〃　　The　fact　was；　I　really

thought　the　old　lady　had　got　a　private　hoard　of　her　own；　as　many　of

them　havea　thousand　pounds　or　so　in　a　stocking。　　Had　she　put　by

thirty　pounds　a　year；　as　well　she　might；　for　the　thirty　years　of

her　marriage；　there　would　have　been　nine　hundred　pounds　clear；　and

no　mistake。　　But　still　I　was　angry　to　think　that　any　such　paltry

concealment　had　been　practisedconcealment　too　of　MY　money；　so　I

turned　on　her　pretty　sharply；　and　continued　my　speech。　　〃You　say；

Ma'am；　that　you　are　rich；　and　that　Pump　and　Aldgate's　failure　has

no　effect　upon　you。