the fatal boots-第13章

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such　a　fool；　she　might　have　had　three　times　as　much；　but　the　old

lady　was　high　and　mighty　forsooth；　and　would　not　be　beholden；　even

to　her　own　daughter；　for　more　than　she　actually　wanted。　　Even　this

fifty　pound　she　was　going　to　refuse；　but　when　I　came　to　live　with

her；　of　course　I　wanted　pocket…money　as　well　as　board　and　lodging；

and　so　I　had　the　fifty　pounds　for　MY　share；　and　eked　out　with　it　as

well　as　I　could。



Old　Bates　and　the　Captain；　between　them；　gave　mamma　a　hundred

pounds　when　she　left　me　（she　had　the　deuce's　own　luck；　to　be　sure

much　more　than　ever　fell　to　ME；　I　know）　and　as　she　said　she　WOULD

try　and　work　for　her　living；　it　was　thought　best　to　take　a　house

and　let　lodgings；　which　she　did。　　Our　first　and　second　floor　paid

us　four　guineas　a　week；　on　an　average；　and　the　front　parlor　and

attic　made　forty　pounds　more。　　Mamma　and　Eliza　used　to　have　the

front　attic：　but　I　took　that；　and　they　slept　in　the　servants'

bedroom。　　Lizzy　had　a　pretty　genius　for　work；　and　earned　a　guinea　a

week　that　way；　so　that　we　had　got　nearly　two　hundred　a　year　over

the　rent　to　keep　house　with；and　we　got　on　pretty　well。　　Besides；

women　eat　nothing：　my　women　didn't　care　for　meat　for　days　together

sometimes；so　that　it　was　only　necessary　to　dress　a　good　steak　or

so　for　me。



Mamma　would　not　think　of　my　continuing　in　the　Post　Office。　　She

said　her　dear　Robert；　her　husband's　son；　her　gallant　soldier；　and

all　that；　should　remain　at　home　and　be　a　gentlemanwhich　I　was；

certainly；　though　I　didn't　find　fifty　pounds　a　year　very　much　to

buy　clothes　and　be　a　gentleman　upon。　　To　be　sure；　mother　found　me

shirts　and　linen；　so　that　THAT　wasn't　in　the　fifty　pounds。　　She

kicked　a　little　at　paying　the　washing　too；　but　she　gave　in　at　last；

for　I　was　her　dear　Bob；　you　know；　and　I'm　blest　if　I　could　not　make

her　give　me　the　gown　off　her　back。　　Fancy！　once　she　cut　up　a　very

nice　rich　black　silk　scarf；　which　my　sister　Waters　sent　her；　and

made　me　a　waistcoat　and　two　stocks　of　it。　　She　was　so　VERY　soft；

the　old　lady！



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I'd　lived　in　this　way　for　five　years　or　more；　making　myself　content

with　my　fifty　pounds　a　year　（PERHAPS　I　had　saved　a　little　out　of

it；　but　that's　neither　here　nor　there）。　　From　year's　end　to　year's

end　I　remained　faithful　to　my　dear　mamma；　never　leaving　her　except

for　a　month　or　so　in　the　summerwhen　a　bachelor　may　take　a　trip　to

Gravesend　or　Margate；　which　would　be　too　expensive　for　a　family。　　I

say　a　bachelor；　for　the　fact　is；　I　don't　know　whether　I　am　married

or　notnever　having　heard　a　word　since　of　the　scoundrelly　Mrs。

Stubbs。



I　never　went　to　the　public…house　before　meals：　for；　with　my

beggarly　fifty　pounds；　I　could　not　afford　to　dine　away　from　home：

but　there　I　had　my　regular　seat；　and　used　to　come　home　PRETTY

GLORIOUS；　I　can　tell　you。　　Then　bed　till　eleven；　then　breakfast　and

the　newspaper；　then　a　stroll　in　Hyde　Park　or　St。　James's；　then　home

at　half…past　three　to　dinnerwhen　I　jollied；　as　I　call　it；　for　the

rest　of　the　day。　　I　was　my　mother's　delight；　and　thus；　with　a　clear

conscience；　I　managed　to　live　on。



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How　fond　she　was　of　me；　to　be　sure！　　Being　sociable　myself；　and

loving　to　have　my　friends　about　me；　we　often　used　to　assemble　a

company　of　as　hearty　fellows　as　you　would　wish　to　sit　down　with；

and　keep　the　nights　up　royally。　　〃Never　mind；　my　boys；〃　I　used　to

say。　　〃Send　the　bottle　round：　mammy　pays　for　all。〃　　As　she　did；

sure　enough：　and　sure　enough　we　punished　her　cellar　too。　　The　good

old　lady　used　to　wait　upon　us；　as　if　for　all　the　world　she　had　been

my　servant；　instead　of　a　lady　and　my　mamma。　　Never　used　she　to

repine；　though　I　often；　as　I　must　confess；　gave　her　occasion

（keeping　her　up　till　four　o'clock　in　the　morning；　because　she　never

could　sleep　until　she　saw　her　〃dear　Bob〃　in　bed；　and　leading　her　a

sad　anxious　life）。　　She　was　of　such　a　sweet　temper；　the　old　lady；

that　I　think　in　the　course　of　five　years　I　never　knew　her　in　a

passion；　except　twice：　and　then　with　sister　Lizzy；　who　declared　I

was　ruining　the　house；　and　driving　the　lodgers　away；　one　by　one。

But　mamma　would　not　hear　of　such　envious　spite　on　my　sister's　part。

〃Her　Bob〃　was　always　right；　she　said。　　At　last　Lizzy　fairly

retreated；　and　went　to　the　Waters's。I　was　glad　of　it；　for　her

temper　was　dreadful；　and　we　used　to　be　squabbling　from　morning　till

night！



Ah；　those　WERE　jolly　times！　but　Ma　was　obliged　to　give　up　the

lodging…house　at　lastfor；　somehow；　things　went　wrong　after　my

sister's　departurethe　nasty　uncharitable　people　said；　on　account

of　ME；　because　I　drove　away　the　lodgers　by　smoking　and　drinking；

and　kicking　up　noises　in　the　house；　and　because　Ma　gave　me　so　much

of　her　money：so　she　did；　but　if　she　WOULD　give　it；　you　know；　how

could　I　help　it？　　Heigho！　　I　wish　I'd　KEPT　it。



No　such　luck。　　The　business　I　thought　was　to　last　for　ever：　but　at

the　end　of　two　years　came　a　smashshut　up　shopsell　off

everything。　　Mamma　went　to　the　Waters's：　and；　will　you　believe　it？

the　ungrateful　wretches　would　not　receive　me！　that　Mary；　you　see；

was　SO　disappointed　at　not　marrying　me。　　Twenty　pounds　a　year　they

allow；　it　is　true；　but　what's　that　for　a　gentleman？　　For　twenty

years　I　have　been　struggling　manfully　to　gain　an　honest　livelihood；

and；　in　the　course　of　them；　have　seen　a　deal　of　life；　to　be　sure。

I've　sold　cigars　and　pocket…handkerchiefs　at　the　corners　of

streets；　I've　been　a　billiard…marker；　I've　been　a　director　（in　the

panic　year）　of　the　Imperial　British　Consolidated　Mangle　and　Drying

Ground　Company。　　I've　been　on　the　stage　（for　two　years　as　an　actor；

and　about　a　month　as　a　cad；　when　I　was　very　low）；　I've　been　the

means　of　giving　to　the　police　of　this　empire　some　very　valuable

information　（about　licensed　victuallers；　gentlemen's　carts；　and

pawnbrokers'　names）；　I've　been　very　nearly　an　officer　againthat

is；　an　assistant　to　an　officer　of　the　Sheriff　of　Middlesex：　it　was

my　last　place。



On　the　last　day　of　the　year　1837；　even　THAT　game　was　up。　　It's　a

thing　that　very　seldom　happened　to　a　gentleman；　to　be　kicked　out　of

a　spunging…house；　but　such　was　my　case。　　Young　Nabb　（who　succeeded

his　father）　drove　me　ignominiously　from　his　door；　because　I　had

charged　a　gentleman　in　the　coffee…rooms　seven…and…sixpence　for　a

glass　of　ale　and　bread　and　cheese；　the　charge　of　the　house　being

only　six　shillings。　　He　had　the　meanness　to　deduct　the　eighteenpence

from　my　wages；　and　because　I　blustered　a　bit；　he　took　me　by　the

shoulders　and　turned　me　outme；　a　gentleman；　and；　what　is　more；　a

poor　orphan！



How　I　did　rage　and　swear　at　him　when　I　got　out　into　the　street！

There　stood　he；　the　hideous　Jew　monster；　at　the　double　door；

writhing　under　the　effect　of　my　language。　　I　had　my　revenge！　　Heads

were　thrust　out　of　every　bar　of　his　windows；　laughing　at　him。　　A

crowd　gathered　round　me；　as　I　stood　pounding　him　with　my　satire；

and　they　evidently　enjoyed　his　discomfiture。　　I　think　the　mob　would

have　pelted　the　ruffian　to　death　（one　or　two　of　their　missiles　hit

ME；　I　can　tell　you）；　when　a　policeman　came　up；　and　in　reply　to　a

gentleman；　who　was　asking　what　was　the　disturbance；　said；　〃Bless

you；　sir；　it's　Lord　Cornwallis。〃　　〃Move　on；　BOOTS；〃　said　the　fellow

to　me；　for　the　fact　is；　my　misfortunes　and　early　life　are　pretty

well　knownand　so　the　crowd　dispersed。



〃What　could　have　made　that　policeman　call　you　Lord　Cornwallis　and

Boots？〃　said　the　gentleman；　who　seemed　mightily　amused；　and　had

followed　me。　　〃Sir；〃　says　I；　〃I　am　an　unfortunate　officer　of　the

North　Bungay　Fencibles；　and　I'll　tell　you　willingly　for　a　pint　of

beer。〃　　He　told　me　to　follow　him　to　his　chambers　in　the　Temple；

which　I　did　（a　five…pair　back）；　and　there；　sure　enough；　I　had　the

beer；　and　told　him　this　very　story　you've　been　reading。　　You　see　he

is　what　is　called　a　literary　manand　sold　my　adventures　for　me　to

the　booksellers；　he's　a　strange