the fatal boots-第12章

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〃Come；　come；〃　said　Stiffelkind；　〃do　not　gry；　Gaptain　Stobbsit　is

not　goot　for　a　Gaptain　to　gryha！　ha！　　Derecome　vid　me；　and　you

shall　have　a　dinner；　and　a　bregfast　too；vich　shall　gost　you

nothing；　until　you　can　bay　vid　your　earnings。〃



And　so　this　curious　old　man；　who　had　persecuted　me　all　through　my

prosperity；　grew　compassionate　towards　me　in　my　ill…luck；　and　took

me　home　with　him　as　he　promised。　　〃I　saw　your　name　among　de

Insolvents；　and　I　vowed；　you　know；　to　make　you　repent　dem　boots。

Dere；　now；　it　is　done　and　forgotten；　look　you。　　Here；　Betty；

Bettchen；　make　de　spare　bed；　and　put　a　clean　knife　and　fork；　Lort

Cornvallis　is　come　to　dine　vid　me。〃



I　lived　with　this　strange　old　man　for　six　weeks。　　I　kept　his　books；

and　did　what　little　I　could　to　make　myself　useful：　carrying　about

boots　and　shoes；　as　if　I　had　never　borne　his　Majesty's　commission。

He　gave　me　no　money；　but　he　fed　and　lodged　me　comfortably。　　The　men

and　boys　used　to　laugh；　and　call　me　General；　and　Lord　Cornwallis；

and　all　sorts　of　nicknames；　and　old　Stiffelkind　made　a　thousand　new

ones　for　me。



One　day　I　can　recollectone　miserable　day；　as　I　was　polishing　on

the　trees　a　pair　of　boots　of　Mr。　Stiffelkind's　manufacturethe　old

gentleman　came　into　the　shop；　with　a　lady　on　his　arm。



〃Vere　is　Gaptain　Stobbs？〃　said　he。　　〃Vere　is　dat　ornament　to　his

Majesty's　service？〃



I　came　in　from　the　back　shop；　where　I　was　polishing　the　boots；　with

one　of　them　in　my　hand。



〃Look；　my　dear；〃　says　he；　〃here　is　an　old　friend　of　yours；　his

Excellency　Lort　Cornvallis！Who　would　have　thought　such　a　nobleman

vood　turn　shoeblack？　　Captain　Stobbs；　here　is　your　former　flame；　my

dear　niece；　Miss　Grotty。　　How　could　you；　Magdalen；　ever　leaf　such　a

lof　of　a　man？　　Shake　hands　vid　her；　Gaptain；dere；　never　mind　de

blacking！〃　　But　Miss　drew　back。



〃I　never　shake　hands　with　a　SHOEBLACK；〃　said　she；　mighty

contemptuous。



〃Bah！　my　lof；　his　fingers　von't　soil　you。　　Don't　you　know　he　has

just　been　VITEVASHED？〃



〃I　wish；　uncle；〃　says　she；　〃you　would　not　leave　me　with　such　low

people。〃



〃Low；　because　he　cleans　boots？　　De　Gaptain　prefers　PUMPS　to　boots　I

tinkha！　ha！〃



〃Captain　indeed！　a　nice　Captain；〃　says　Miss　Crutty；　snapping　her

fingers　in　my　face；　and　walking　away：　〃a　Captain　who　has　had　his

nose　pulled！　ha！　ha！〃And　how　could　I　help　it？　it　wasn't　by　my　own

CHOICE　that　that　ruffian　Waters　took　such　liberties　with　me。

Didn't　I　show　how　averse　I　was　to　all　quarrels　by　refusing

altogether　his　challenge？But　such　is　the　world。　　And　thus　the

people　at　Stiffelkind's　used　to　tease　me；　until　they　drove　me

almost　mad。



At　last　he　came　home　one　day　more　merry　and　abusive　than　ever。

〃Gaptain；〃　says　he；　〃I　have　goot　news　for　youa　goot　place。　　Your

lordship　vill　not　be　able　to　geep　your　garridge；　but　you　vill　be

gomfortable；　and　serve　his　Majesty。〃



〃Serve　his　Majesty？〃　says　I。　　〃Dearest　Mr。　Stiffelkind；　have　you

got　me　a　place　under　Government？〃



〃Yes；　and　somting　better　stillnot　only　a　place；　but　a　uniform：

yes；　Gaptain　Stobbs；　a　RED　GOAT。〃



〃A　red　coat！　　I　hope　you　don't　think　I　would　demean　myself　by

entering　the　ranks　of　the　army？　　I　am　a　gentleman；　Mr。　Stiffelkind

I　can　neverno；　I　never〃



〃No；　I　know　you　will　neveryou　are　too　great　a　gowardha！　ha！

though　dis　is　a　red　goat；　and　a　place　where　you　must　give　some　HARD

KNOCKS　tooha！　ha！do　you　gomprehend？and　you　shall　be　a　general

instead　of　a　gaptainha！　ha！〃



〃A　general　in　a　red　coat；　Mr。　Stiffelkind？〃



〃Yes；　a　GENERAL　BOSTMAN！ha！　ha！　　I　have　been　vid　your　old　friend；

Bunting；　and　he　has　an　uncle　in　the　Post　Office；　and　he　has　got　you

de　placeeighteen　shillings　a　veek；　you　rogue；　and　your　goat。　　You

must　not　oben　any　of　de　letters　you　know。〃



And　so　it　wasI；　Robert　Stubbs；　Esquire；　became　the　vile　thing　he

nameda　general　postman！



　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。



I　was　so　disgusted　with　Stiffelkind's　brutal　jokes；　which　were　now

more　brutal　than　ever；　that　when　I　got　my　place　in　the　Post　Office；

I　never　went　near　the　fellow　again：　for　though　he　had　done　me　a

favor　in　keeping　me　from　starvation；　he　certainly　had　done　it　in　a

very　rude；　disagreeable　manner；　and　showed　a　low　and　mean　spirit　in

SHOVING　me　into　such　a　degraded　place　as　that　of　postman。　　But　what

had　I　to　do？　　I　submitted　to　fate；　and　for　three　years　or　more；

Robert　Stubbs；　of　the　North　Bungay　Fencibles；　was



I　wonder　nobody　recognized　me。　　I　lived　in　daily　fear　the　first

year：　but　afterwards　grew　accustomed　to　my　situation；　as　all　great

men　will　do；　and　wore　my　red　coat　as　naturally　as　if　I　had　been

sent　into　the　world　only　for　the　purpose　of　being　a　letter…carrier。



I　was　first　in　the　Whitechapel　district；　where　I　stayed　for　nearly

three　years；　when　I　was　transferred　to　Jermyn　Street　and　Duke

Streetfamous　places　for　lodgings。　　I　suppose　I　left　a　hundred

letters　at　a　house　in　the　latter　street；　where　lived　some　people

who　must　have　recognized　me　had　they　but　once　chanced　to　look　at

me。



You　see　that　when　I　left　Sloffemsquiggle；　and　set　out　in　the　gay

world；　my　mamma　had　written　to　me　a　dozen　times　at　least；　but　I

never　answered　her；　for　I　knew　she　wanted　money；　and　I　detest

writing。　　Well；　she　stopped　her　letters；　finding　she　could　get　none

from　me：but　when　I　was　in　the　Fleet；　as　I　told　you；　I　wrote

repeatedly　to　my　dear　mamma；　and　was　not　a　little　nettled　at　her

refusing　to　notice　me　in　my　distress；　which　is　the　very　time　one

most　wants　notice。



Stubbs　is　not　an　uncommon　name；　and　though　I　saw　MRS。　STUBBS　on　a

little　bright　brass　plate；　in　Duke　street；　and　delivered　so　many

letters　to　the　lodgers　in　her　house；　I　never　thought　of　asking　who

she　was；　or　whether　she　was　my　relation；　or　not。



One　day　the　young　woman　who　took　in　the　letters　had　not　got　change；

and　she　called　her　mistress。　　An　old　lady　in　a　poke…bonnet　came　out

of　the　parlor；　and　put　on　her　spectacles；　and　looked　at　the　letter；

and　fumbled　in　her　pocket　for　eightpence；　and　apologized　to　the

postman　for　keeping　him　waiting。　　And　when　I　said；　〃Never　mind；

Ma'am；　it's　no　trouble；〃　the　old　lady　gave　a　start；　and　then　she

pulled　off　her　spectacles；　and　staggered　back；　and　then　she　began

muttering；　as　if　about　to　choke；　and　then　she　gave　a　great　screech；

and　flung　herself　into　my　arms；　and　roared　out；　〃MY　SON；　MY　SON！〃



〃Law；　mamma；〃　said　I；　〃is　that　you？〃　and　I　sat　down　on　the　hall

bench　with　her；　and　let　her　kiss　me　as　much　as　ever　she　liked。

Hearing　the　whining　and　crying；　down　comes　another　lady　from　up

stairs；it　was　my　sister　Eliza；　and　down　come　the　lodgers。　　And

the　maid　gets　water　and　what　not；　and　I　was　the　regular　hero　of　the

group。　　I　could　not　stay　long　then；　having　my　letters　to　deliver。

But；　in　the　evening；　after　mail…time；　I　went　back　to　my　mamma　and

sister；　and；　over　a　bottle　of　prime　old　port；　and　a　precious　good

leg　of　boiled　mutton　and　turnips；　made　myself　pretty　comfortable；　I

can　tell　you。





DECEMBER。〃THE　WINTER　OF　OUR　DISCONTENT。〃





Mamma　had　kept　the　house　in　Duke　Street　for　more　than　two　years。

I　recollected　some　of　the　chairs　and　tables　from　dear　old

Sloffemsquiggle；　and　the　bowl　in　which　I　had　made　that　famous　rum…

punch；　the　evening　she　went　away；　which　she　and　my　sisters　left

untouched；　and　I　was　obliged　to　drink　after　they　were　gone；　but

that's　not　to　the　purpose。



Think　of　my　sister　Lucy's　luck！　that　chap；　Waters；　fell　in　love

with　her；　and　married　her；　and　she　now　keeps　her　carriage；　and

lives　in　state　near　Sloffemsquiggle。　　I　offered　to　make　it　up　with

Waters；　but　he　bears　malice；　and　never　will　see　or　speak　to　me。He

had　the　impudence；　too；　to　say；　that　he　took　in　all　letters　for

mamma　at　Sloffemsquiggle；　and　that　as　mine　were　all　begging…

letters；　he　burned　them；　and　never　said　a　word　to　her　concerning

them。　　He　allowed　mamma　fifty　pounds　a　year；　and；　if　she　were　not

such　a　fool；　she　might　have　had　three　times　as