the fatal boots-第11章

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support　out　of　my　two　thousand　pounds。　　I　had　better　have　stopped

at　home　with　my　mamma　and　sisters；　whom　I　really　did　love；　and　who

produced　me　eighty　pounds　a　year。



I　had　a　furious　interview　with　Mrs。　Stubbs；　and　when　I　charged　her；

the　base　wretch！　with　cheating　me；　like　a　brazen　serpent　as　she

was；　she　flung　back　the　cheat　in　my　teeth；　and　swore　I　had　swindled

her。　　Why　did　I　marry　her；　when　she　might　have　had　twenty　others？

She　only　took　me；　she　said；　because　I　had　twenty　thousand　pounds。

I　HAD　said　I　possessed　that　sum；　but　in　love；　you　know；　and　war

all's　fair。




We　parted　quite　as　angrily　as　we　met；　and　I　cordially　vowed　that

when　I　had　paid　the　debt　into　which　I　had　been　swindled　by　her；　I

would　take　my　2；000L。　and　depart　to　some　desert　island；　or；　at　the

very　least；　to　America；　and　never　see　her　more；　or　any　of　her

Israelitish　brood。　　There　was　no　use　in　remaining　in　the　spunging…

house　（for　I　knew　that　there　were　such　things　as　detainers；　and

that　where　Mrs。　Stubbs　owed　a　hundred　pounds；　she　might　owe　a

thousand）　so　I　sent　for　Mr。　Nabb；　and　tendering　him　a　cheque　for

150L。　and　his　costs；　requested　to　be　let　out　forthwith。　　〃Here；

fellow；〃　said　I；　〃is　a　cheque　on　Child's　for　your　paltry　sum。〃



〃It　may　be　a　sheck　on　Shild's；〃　says　Mr。　Nabb；　〃but　I　should　be　a

baby　to　let　you　out　on　such　a　paper　as　dat。〃



〃Well；〃　said　I；　〃Child's　is　but　a　step　from　this：　you　may　go　and

get　the　cash；just　give　me　an　acknowledgment。〃



Nabb　drew　out　the　acknowledgment　with　great　punctuality；　and　set

off　for　the　bankers'；　whilst　I　prepared　myself　for　departure　from

this　abominable　prison。



He　smiled　as　he　came　in。　　〃Well；〃　said　I；　〃you　have　touched　your

money；　and　now；　I　must　tell　you；　that　you　are　the　most　infernal

rogue　and　extortioner　I　ever　met　with。〃



〃Oh；　no；　Mishter　Shtubbsh；〃　says　he；　grinning　still。　　〃Dere　is　som

greater　roag　dan　me；mosh　greater。〃



〃Fellow；〃　said　I；　〃don't　stand　grinning　before　a　gentleman；　but

give　me　my　hat　and　cloak；　and　let　me　leave　your　filthy　den。〃



〃Shtop；　Shtubbsh；〃　says　he；　not　even　Mistering　me　this　time。　　〃Here

ish　a　letter；　vich　you　had　better　read。〃



I　opened　the　letter；　something　fell　to　the　ground：it　was　my

cheque。



The　letter　ran　thus：　〃Messrs。　Child　and　Co。　present　their

compliments　to　Captain　Stubbs；　and　regret　that　they　have　been

obliged　to　refuse　payment　of　the　enclosed；　having　been　served　this

day　with　an　attachment　by　Messrs。　Solomonson　and　Co。；　which　compels

them　to　retain　Captain　Stubbs'　balance　of　2；010L。　11s。　6d。　until

the　decision　of　the　suit　of　Solomonson　v。　Stubbs。



〃FLEET　STREET。〃



〃You　see；〃　says　Mr。　Nabb；　as　I　read　this　dreadful　letter〃you　see；

Shtubbsh；　dere　vas　two　debts；a　little　von　and　a　big　von。　　So　dey

arrested　you　for　de　little　von；　and　attashed　your　money　for　de　big

von。〃



Don't　laugh　at　me　for　telling　this　story。　　If　you　knew　what　tears

are　blotting　over　the　paper　as　I　write　itif　you　knew　that　for

weeks　after　I　was　more　like　a　madman　than　a　sane　man；a　madman　in

the　Fleet　Prison；　where　I　went　instead　of　to　the　desert　island！

What　had　I　done　to　deserve　it？　　Hadn't　I　always　kept　an　eye　to　the

main　chance？　　Hadn't　I　lived　economically；　and　not　like　other　young

men？　　Had　I　ever　been　known　to　squander　or　give　away　a　single

penny？　　No！　　I　can　lay　my　hand　on　my　heart；　and；　thank　heaven；　say；

No！　　Why；　why　was　I　punished　so？



Let　me　conclude　this　miserable　history。　　Seven　monthsmy　wife　saw

me　once　or　twice；　and　then　dropped　me　altogetherI　remained　in

that　fatal　place。　　I　wrote　to　my　dear　mamma；　begging　her　to　sell

her　furniture；　but　got　no　answer。　　All　my　old　friends　turned　their

backs　upon　me。　　My　action　went　against　meI　had　not　a　penny　to

defend　it。　　Solomonson　proved　my　wife's　debt；　and　seized　my　two

thousand　pounds。　　As　for　the　detainer　against　me；　I　was　obliged　to

go　through　the　court　for　the　relief　of　insolvent　debtors。　　I　passed

through　it；　and　came　out　a　beggar。　　But　fancy　the　malice　of　that

wicked　Stiffelkind：　he　appeared　in　court　as　my　creditor　for　3L。；

with　sixteen　years'　interest　at　five　per　cent；　for　a　PAIR　OF　TOP…

BOOTS。　　The　old　thief　produced　them　in　court；　and　told　the　whole

storyLord　Cornwallis；　the　detection；　the　pumping　and　all。



Commissioner　Dubobwig　was　very　funny　about　it。　　〃So　Doctor

Swishtail　would　not　pay　you　for　the　boots；　eh；　Mr。　Stiffelkind？〃



〃No：　he　said；　ven　I　asked　him　for　payment；　dey　was　ordered　by　a

yong　boy；　and　I　ought　to　have　gone　to　his　schoolmaster。〃



〃What！　then　you　came　on　a　BOOTLESS　errand；　ay；　sir？〃　　（A　laugh。）



〃Bootless！　no　sare；　I　brought　de　boots　back　vid　me。　　How　de　devil

else　could　I　show　dem　to　you？〃　　（Another　laugh。）



〃You've　never　SOLED　'em　since；　Mr。　Tickleshins？〃



〃I　never　would　sell　dem；　I　svore　I　never　vood；　on　porpus　to　be

revenged　on　dat　Stobbs。〃



〃What！　your　wound　has　never　been　HEALED；　eh？〃



〃Vat　do　you　mean　vid　your　bootless　errands；　and　your　soling　and

healing？　　I　tell　you　I　have　done　vat　I　svore　to　do：　I　have　exposed

him　at　school；　I　have　broak　off　a　marriage　for　him；　ven　he　vould

have　had　tventy　tousand　pound；　and　now　I　have　showed　him　up　in　a

court　of　justice。　　Dat　is　vat　I　'ave　done；　and　dat's　enough。〃　　And

then　the　old　wretch　went　down；　whilst　everybody　was　giggling　and

staring　at　poor　meas　if　I　was　not　miserable　enough　already。



〃This　seems　the　dearest　pair　of　boots　you　ever　had　in　your　life；

Mr。　Stubbs；〃　said　Commissioner　Dubobwig　very　archly；　and　then　he

began　to　inquire　about　the　rest　of　my　misfortunes。



In　the　fulness　of　my　heart　I　told　him　the　whole　of　them：　how　Mr。

Solomonson　the　attorney　had　introduced　me　to　the　rich　widow；　Mrs。

Manasseh；　who　had　fifty　thousand　pounds；　and　an　estate　in　the　West

Indies。　　How　I　was　married；　and　arrested　on　coming　to　town；　and

cast　in　an　action　for　two　thousand　pounds　brought　against　me　by

this　very　Solomonson　for　my　wife's　debts。



〃Stop！〃　says　a　lawyer　in　the　court。　　〃Is　this　woman　a　showy　black…

haired　woman　with　one　eye？　very　often　drunk；　with　three　children？

Solomonson；　short；　with　red　hair？〃



〃Exactly　so；〃　said　I；　with　tears　in　my　eyes。



〃That　woman　has　married　THREE　MEN　within　the　last　two　years。　　One

in　Ireland；　and　one　at　Bath。　　A　Solomonson　is；　I　believe；　her

husband；　and　they　both　are　off　for　America　ten　days　ago。〃



〃But　why　did　you　not　keep　your　2；000L。？〃　said　the　lawyer。



〃Sir；　they　attached　it。〃



〃Oh；　well；　we　may　pass　you。　　You　have　been　unlucky；　Mr。　Stubbs；　but

it　seems　as　if　the　biter　had　been　bit　in　this　affair。〃



〃No；〃　said　Mr。　Dubobwig。　　〃Mr。　Stubbs　is　the　victim　of　a　FATAL

ATTACHMENT。〃





NOVEMBER。A　GENERAL　POST　DELIVERY。





I　was　a　free　man　when　I　went　out　of　the　Court；　but　I　was　a　beggar

I；　Captain　Stubbs；　of　the　bold　North　Bungays；　did　not　know　where　I

could　get　a　bed；　or　a　dinner。



As　I　was　marching　sadly　down　Portugal　Street；　I　felt　a　hand　on　my

shoulder　and　a　rough　voice　which　I　knew　well。



〃Vell；　Mr。　Stobbs；　have　I　not　kept　my　promise？　　I　told　you　dem

boots　would　be　your　ruin。〃



I　was　much　too　miserable　to　reply；　and　only　cast　my　eyes　towards

the　roofs　of　the　houses；　which　I　could　not　see　for　the　tears。



〃Vat！　you　begin　to　gry　and　blobber　like　a　shild？　you　vood　marry；

vood　you？　and　noting　vood　do　for　you　but　a　vife　vid　monnyha；　ha

but　you　vere　de　pigeon；　and　she　was　de　grow。　　She　has　plocked　you；

too；　pretty　velleh？　ha！　ha！〃



〃Oh；　Mr。　Stiffelkind；〃　said　I；　〃don't　laugh　at　my　misery：　she　has

not　left　me　a　single　shilling　under　heaven。　　And　I　shall　starve：　I

do　believe　I　shall　starve。〃　　And　I　began　to　cry　fit　to　break　my

heart。



〃Starf！　stoff　and　nonsense！　　You　vill　never　die　of　starfingyou

vill　die　of　HANGING；　I　tinkho！　ho！and　it　is　moch　easier　vay

too。〃　　I　didn't　say　a　word；　but　cried　on；　till　everybody　in　the

street　turned　round　and　stared。



〃Come；　come；〃　said　Stiffelkind；　〃do　not　gry；　Gaptain　Stobbsit　is

not　goot　for　a　Gaptain　to　gryh