we two-第95章

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eorge　MacDonald

When　a　particularly　unpleasant　event　has　long　been　hanging　over　one's　head；　sure　to　come　at　some　time；　though　the　precise　date　is　unknown；　people　of　a　certain　disposition　find　it　quite　possible　to　live　on　pretty　comfortably　through　the　waiting　time。　　But　when　at　length　the　date　is　fixed；　when　you　know　that　that　which　you　dread　will　happen　upon　such　and　such　a　day；　then　the　waiting　begins　all　at　once　to　seem　intolerable。　　The　vague　date　had　been　awaited　calmly；　but　the　certain　date　is　awaited　with　a　wearing　anxiety　which　tells　fearfully　on　physical　strength。　　When　Erica　knew　that　the　action　for　libel　would　begin　in　a　fortnight's　time；　the　comparative　calmness　of　the　nine　months　which　had　passed　since　the　outset　of　the　matter　gave　place　to　an　agony　of　apprehension。　　Night　after　night　she　had　fearful　dreams　of　being　cross…examined　by　Mr。　Cringer；　Q。C。；　who　always　forced　her　to　say　exactly　what　she　did　not　mean。　　Night　after　night　coldly　curious　eyes　stared　down　at　her　from　all　parts　of　a　crowded　court；　while　her　misery　was　completed　by　being　perfectly　conscious　of　what　she　ought　to　have　said　directly　it　was　too　late。

By　day　she　was　too　wise　to　allow　herself　to　dwell　on　the　future；　she　worked　doubly　hard；　laid　in　a　stock　of　particularly　interesting　books；　and　threw　herself　as　much　as　possible　into　the　lives　of　others。　　Happily；　the　Farrants　were　in　town；　and　she　was　able　to　see　a　great　deal　of　them；　while　on　the　very　day　before　the　trial　came　a　substantial　little　bit　of　happiness。

She　was　sitting　in　the　study　doing　some　copying　for　her　father　when　a　brougham　stopped　at　the　door。　　Erica；　who　never　failed　to　recognize　a　horse　if　she　had　once　seen　it　before；　who　even　had　favorites　among　the　dozens　of　omnibus　horses　which　she　met　daily　in　Oxford　Street；　at　once　knew　that　either　Donovan　or　Gladys　had　come　to　see　her。

She　ran　out　into　the　hall　to　meet　them；　but　had　no　sooner　opened　the　study　door　than　the　tiniest　of　dogs　trotted　into　the　room　and　began　sniffing　cautiously　at　her　father's　clothes。

〃Tottie　has　made　a　very　unceremonious　entrance；〃　said　a　clear；　mellow　voice　in　the　passage。　　〃May　we　come　in；　or　are　you　too　busy　today？〃

〃Oh；　please　come　in。　　Father　is　home；　and　I　do　so　want　you　to　meet；〃　said　Erica。　　〃You　have　brought　Dolly；　too！　　That　is　delightful。　　We　are　dreadfully　in　want　of　something　young　and　happy　to　cheer　us　up。〃

The　two　men　shook　hands　with　the　momentary　keen　glance　into　each　other's　eyes　which　those　give　who　have　heard　much　of　one　another　but　have　never　been　personally　acquainted。

〃As　to　Dolly；〃　said　Donovan；　〃she　requires　no　introduction　to　Mr。　Raeburn。〃

〃No；〃　said　Erica；　laughing；　〃she　cried　all　over　his　coat　two　years　ago。〃

Dolly　did　not　often　wait　for　introductions　unless　she　disliked　people。　　And　no　child　could　have　found　it　in　its　heart　to　dislike　anything　so　big　and　kind　and　fatherly　as　Luke　Raeburn。

〃We　blought　a　little　dog　for　Elica；〃　she　said；　in　her　silvery　treble。

And　the　next　moment　she　was　established　on　Raeburn's　knee；　encouraged　to　thrust　a　little；　dimpled　hand　into　his　pocket　for　certain　Edinburgh　dainties。

〃Dolly　does　not　beat　about　the　bush；〃　said　Donovan；　smiling。　　〃Would　you　at　all　care　to　have　this　small　animal？　　I　knew　you　were　fond　of　dogs；　and　Gladys　and　I　saw　this　little　toy　Esquimanx　the　other　day　and　fell　in　love　with　him。　　I　find　though　that　another　dog　rather　hurts　Waif's　feelings；　so　you　will　be　doing　a　kindness　to　him　as　well　if　you　will　accept　'Tottie。'〃

〃Oh；　how　delightful　of　you！　　It　was　kind　of　you　to　think　of　it；〃　said　Erica。　　〃I　have　always　so　longed　to　have　a　dog　of　my　own。　　And　this　is　such　a　little　beauty！　　Is　it　not　a　very　rare　breed？〃

〃I　believe　it　is；　and　I　think　he's　a　loving　little　beggar；　too；〃　replied　Donovan。　　〃He　is　making　himself　quite　at　home　here；　is　he　not？〃

And　in　truth　the　small　dog　seemed　deeply　interested　in　his　new　residence。　　He　was　the　tiniest　of　his　kind；　and　was　covered　with　long　black　hair　which　stood　straight　up　on　end；　his　pointed　nose；　bright　brown　eyes；　and　cunning　little　ears；　set　in　the　frame　work　of　bushy　hair；　gave　him　a　most　sagacious　appearance。　　And　just　now　he　was　brimful　of　curiosity；　pattering　all　over　the　room；　poking　his　nose　into　a　great　pile　of　〃Idol…Breakers；〃　sniffing　at　theological　and　anti…theological　books　with　perfect　impartiality；　rubbing　himself　against　Raeburn's　foot　in　the　most　ingratiating　way；　and　finally　springing　up　on　Erica's　lap　with　the　oddest　mixture　of　defiance　and　devotion　in　his　eyes　which　said　as　plainly　as　if　he　had　spoken：　〃People　may　say　what　they　like　about　you；　but　I'm　your　faithful　dog　from　this　day　forward！〃

Raeburn　was　obliged　to　go　out　almost　directly　as　he　had　an　appointment　in　the　city；　but　Erica　knew　that　he　had　seen　enough　of　Donovan　to　realize　what　he　was　and　was　satisfied。

〃I　am　so　glad　you　have　just　met；〃　she　said　when　he　had　left　the　room。　　〃And；　as　to　Dolly；　she's　been　a　real　god…send。　　I　haven't　seen　my　father　smile　before　for　a　week。〃

〃Strange；　is　it　not；　how　almost　always　children　instinctively　take　to　those　whom　the　world　treats　as　outcasts。　　I　have　a　great　belief　that　God　lets　the　pure　and　innocent　make　up　in　part　by　their　love　for　the　uncharitableness　of　the　rest　of　us。〃

〃That's　a　nice　thought；〃　said　Erica。　　〃I　have　never　had　much　to　do　with　children；　except　with　this　one。〃　　And　as　she　spoke　she　lifted　Dolly　on　her　lap　beside　Tottie。

〃I　have　good　reason　to　believe　in　both　this　kind　and　that；〃　said　Donovan；　touching　the　dusky　head　of　the　dog　and　the　sunny　hair　of　the　child。　　As　he　spoke　there　was　a　look　in　his　eyes　which　made　Erica　feel　inclined　almost　to　cry。　　She　knew　that　he　was　thinking　of　the　past　though　there　was　no　regret　in　his　expression；　only　a　shade　of　additional　gravity　about　his　lips　and　an　unusual　light　about　his　brow　and　eyes。　　It　was　the　face　of　a　man　who　had　known　both　the　evil　and　the　good；　and　had　now　reached　far　into　the　Unseen。

By　and　by　they　talked　of　Switzerland　and　of　Brian；　Donovan　telling　her　just　what　she　wanted　to　know　about　him　though　he　never　let　her　feel　that　he　knew　all　about　the　day　at　Fiesole。　　And　from　that　they　passed　to　the　coming　trial　of　which　he　spoke　in　exactly　the　most　helpful　way；　not　trying　to　assure　her；　as　some　well…meaning　people　had　done；　that　there　was　really　nothing　to　be　grieved　or　anxious　about；　but　fully　sympathizing　with　the　pain　while　he　somehow　led　her　on　to　the　thought　of　the　unseen　good　which　would　in　the　long　run　result　from　it。

〃I　do　believe　that　now；　with　all　my　heart。〃　she　said。

〃I　knew　you　did；〃　he　replied；　smiling　a　little。　　〃You　have　learned　it　since　you　were　at　Greyshot　last　year。　　And　once　learned　it　is　learned　forever。〃

〃Yes；〃　she　said　musingly。　　〃But；　oh！　　How　slowly　one　learns　in　such　little　bits。　　It's　a　great　mistake　to　think　that　we　grasp　the　whole　when　the　light　first　comes　to　us；　and　yet　it　feels　then　like　the　whole。〃

〃Because　it　was　the　whole　you　were　then　capable　of；〃　said　Donovan。　　〃But；　you　see；　you　grow。〃

〃Want　to　grow；　at　any　rate；〃　said　Erica。　　〃Grow　conscious　that　there　is　an　Infinite　to　grow　to。〃

Then；　as　in　a　few　minutes　he　rose　to　go：

〃Well；　you　have　done　me　good；　you　and　Dolly；　and　this　blessed　little　dog。　Thank　you　very　much　for　coming。〃

She　went　out　with　them　to　the　door　and　stood　on　the　steps　with　Tottie　in　her　arms；　smiling　a　goodbye　to　little　Dolly。

〃That's　the　bravest　woman　I　know；〃　thought　Donovan　to　himself；　〃and　the　sweetest　save　one。　　Poor　Brian！　　Though；　after　all；　it's　a　grand　thing　to　love　such　as　Erica　even　without　hope。〃

And　all　the　afternoon　there　rang　in　his　ears　the　line　　

〃A　woman's　soul；　most　soft；　yet　strong。〃

The　next　day　troubles　began　in　good　earnest。　　They　were　all　very　silent　at　breakfast。　　Raeburn　looked　anxious　and　preoccupied；　and　Erica；　not　feeling　sure　that　conversation　would　not　worry　him；　did　not　try　to　talk。　　Once　Aunt　Jean　looked　up　for　a　moment　from　her　paper　with　a　question。

〃By　the　bye；　what　are　you　going　to　wear；　Erica？〃

〃Sackcloth；　I　think；〃　said　Erica；　〃it　would　be　appropriate。〃

Raeburn　smiled　a　little　at　this。

〃Something　cool；　I　should　advise；〃　he　said。　　〃The　place　will　be　like　a　furnace　today。〃

He　pushed　back　his　chair　as　he　spoke　and　went