we two-第40章
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e it in process； and perhaps exclaim： 'What a frightful state of things；' or like your favorite 'Stephen Blackpool；' 'It's all a muddle。'〃
〃And the end you consider to be perfection； and eternal union with God。 How can you think immortality probable？〃
〃It is the necessary outcome of belief in such a God； such a Father as we have spoken of。 What！ Could God have willed that His children whom He really loves should； after a time； fade utterly away？ If so； He would be less loving than an average earthly father。 If He did indeed love them； and would fain have had them ever with Him； but could not； then He would not be all…powerful。〃
〃I see you a universalist； a great contrast to my Early Father here； who gloats over the delightful prospect of watching from his comfortable heaven the tortures of all unbelievers。 But； tell me； what do you think would be our position in your unseen world？ I suppose the mere realization of having given one's life in a mistaken cause would be about the most terrible pain conceivable？〃
〃I think；〃 said Charles Osmond； with one of his grave； quiet smiles； 〃that death will indeed be your 'gate of life；〃 that seeing the light you will come to your true self； and exclaim； 'Who'd have thought it？'〃
The every day language sounded quaint； it made Erica smile； but Charles Osmond continued； with a brightness in his eyes which she was far from understanding： 〃And you know there are to be those who shall say： 'Lord when saw we Thee in distress and helped Thee？' They had not recognized Him here； but He recognized them there？ They shared in the 'Come ye blessed of my Father。'〃
〃Well；〃 said Erica； thoughtfully； 〃if any Christianity be true； it must be your loving belief； not the blood…thirsty scheme of the Calvinists。 If THAT could by any possibility be true； I should greatly prefer； like Kingsley's dear old 'Wulf；' to share hell with my own people。〃
The words had scarcely left her lips when； with a startled cry； she sprung to her feet and hurried to the door。 The next moment Charles Osmond saw Tom pass the window； he was unmistakably the bearer of bad news。
His first panting words were reassuring 〃Brian says you are not to be frightened；〃 but they were evidently the mere repetition of a message。 Tom himself was almost hopeless； his wrath and grief become more apparent every minute as he gave an incoherent account of the afternoon's work。
The brutes； the fiends； had half killed the chieftain； had set on him like so many tigers。 Brian and Hazeldine were bringing him home had sent him on to prepare。
Erica had listened so far with a colorless face； and hands tightly clasped； but the word 〃prepare〃 seemed to bring new life to her。 In an instant she was her strongest self。
〃They will never try to take him up that steep narrow staircase。 Quick； Tom！ Help me to move this couch into the study。〃
The little Irish servant was pressed into the service； too； and sent upstairs to fetch and carry； and in a very few minutes the preparations were complete； and Erica had at hand all the appliances most likely to be needed。 Just as all was done； and she was beginning to feel that a minute's pause would be the 〃last straw；〃 Tom heard the sound of wheels in the square； and hurried out。 Erica stood in the doorway watching； and presently saw a small crowd of helpers bearing a deathly looking burden。 Whiteness of death redness of blood。 The ground seemed rocking beneath her feet； when a strong hand took hers and drew her into the house。
〃Don't be afraid；〃 said a voice； which she knew to be Brian's though a black mist would not let her see him。 〃He was conscious a minute ago； this is only from the pain of moving。 Which room？〃
〃The study；〃 she replied； recovering herself。 〃Give me something to do； Brian； quickly。〃
He saw that in doing lay her safety； and kept her fully employed； so much so； indeed； that from sheer lack of time she was able to stave off the faintness which had threatened to overpower her。 After a time her father came to himself； and Erica's face； which had been the last in his mind in full consciousness； was the first which now presented itself to his awakening gaze。 He smiled。
〃Well； Erica！ So； after all； they haven't quite done for me。 Nine lives like a cat； as I always told you。〃
His voice was faint； but with all his wonted energy he raised himself before they could remonstrate。 He was far more injured； however； than he knew； with a stifled groan he fell back once more in a swoon； and it was many hours before they were able to restore him。
After that； fever set in； and a shadow as of death fell on the house in Guilford Terrace。 Doctors came and went； Brian almost lived with his patient； friends Raeburn had hosts of them came with help of every description。 The gloomy little alley admitted every day crowds of inquirers； who came to the door； read the bulletin； glanced up at the windows； and went away looking graver than when they came。
Erica lost count of time altogether。 The past seemed blotted out； the weight of the present was so great that she would not admit any thought of the future； though conscious always of a blank dread which she dared not pause to analyze； sufficient indeed for her day was the evil thereof。 She struggled on somehow with a sort of despairing strength； only once or twice did she even recollect the outside world。
It happened that on the first Wednesday after the Hyde Park meeting some one mentioned the day of the week in her hearing。 She was in the sick…room at the time； but at once remembered that her week's work was untouched； that she had not written a line for the 〃Idol…Breaker。〃 Every idea seemed to have gone out of her head； for a minute she felt that to save her life she could not write a line。 But still she conscientiously struggled to remember what subject had been allotted her； and in the temporary stillness of the first night…watch drew writing materials toward her； and leaned her head on her hands until； almost by an effort of will； she at length recalled the theme for her article。
Of course！ It was to be that disgraceful disturbance in the church at Z______。 She remembered the whole affair now； it all rose up before her graphically not a bad subject at all！ Their party might make a good deal by it。 Her article must be bright； descriptive； sarcastic。 Yet how was she to write such an article when her heart felt like lead？ An involuntary 〃I can't 〃 rose to her lips； and she glanced at her father's motionless form； her eyes filling with tears。 Then one of his sayings came to her mind： 〃No such word as 'Can't' in the dictionary；〃 and began to write rapidly almost defiantly。 No sooner had she begun than her very exhaustion； the lateness of the hour； and the stress of circumstance came to her aid she had never before written so brilliantly。
The humor of the scene struck her； little flashes of mirth at the expense of both priest and people； delicate sarcasms； the more searching from their very refinement； awoke in her brain and were swiftly transcribed。 In the middle of one of the most daring sentences Raeburn stirred。 Erica's pen was thrown down at once； she was at his side absorbed once more in attending to his wants； forgetful quite of religious controversy； of the〃Idol…Breaker；〃 of anything in fact in the whole world but her father。 Not till an hour had passed was she free to finish her writing； but by the time her aunt came to relieve guard at two o'clock the article was finished and Erica stole noiselessly into the next room to put it up。
To her surprise she found that Tom had not gone to bed。 He was still toiling away at his desk with a towel round his head； she could almost have smiled at the ludicrous mixture of grief and sleepiness on his face； had not her own heart been so loaded with care and sadness。 The post brought in what Tom described as 〃bushels〃 of letters every day； and he was working away at them now with sleepy heroism。
〃How tired you look；〃 said Erica。 〃See！ I have brought in this for the 'Idol。'〃
〃You've been writing it now！ That is good of you。 I was afraid we should have to make up with some wretched padding of Blank's。〃
He took the sheets from her an
