we two-第35章

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ching　us　to　obey　it　in　the　long　run。〃

〃But　if　there　is　an　all…powerful　God；　wouldn't　it　have　been　much　better　if　He　had　made　it　impossible　for　us　to　go　wrong？〃

〃It　would　have　saved　much　trouble；　undoubtedly；　but　do　you　think　that　which　costs　us　least　trouble　is　generally　the　most　worth　having？　　I　know　a　noble　fellow　who　has　fought　his　way　upward　through　sins　and　temptations　you　would　like　him；　by　the　way；　for　he　was　once　an　atheist。　　He　is；　by　virtue　of　all　he　has　passed　through；　all　he　has　overcome；　one　of　the　fines　men　I　have　ever　known。〃

〃That　is　the　friend；　I　suppose；　whom　your　son　mentioned　to　me。　　But　I　don't　see　your　argument；　for　if　there　was　an　all…powerful　God；　He　could　have　caused　the　man　you　speak　of　to　be　as　noble　and　good　without　passing　through　pain　and　temptation。〃

〃But　God　does　not　work　arbitrarily；　but　by　laws　of　progression。　　Nor　does　His　omnipotence　include　the　working　of　contradictions。　　He　cannot　both　cause　a　thing　to　be　and　not　to　be　at　the　same　time。　　If　it　is　a　law　that　that　which　has　grown　by　struggle　and　effort　shall　be　most　noble；　God　will　not　arbitrarily　reverse　that　law　or　truth　because　the　creation　of　sinless　beings　would　involve　less　trouble。〃

〃It　all　seems　to　me　so　unreal！〃　exclaimed　Erica。　　〃It　seems　like　talking　of　thin　air！〃

〃I　expect　it　does；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　trying　to　realize　to　himself　　her　position。

There　was　a　silence。

〃How　did　this　man　of　whom　you　speak　come　to　desert　our　side？〃　asked　Erica。　　〃I　suppose；　as　you　say　he　was　one　of　the　finest　men　you　ever　knew；　he　must；　at　least；　have　had　a　great　intellect。　　How　did　he　begin　to　think　all　these　unlikely；　unreal　things　true？〃

〃Donovan　began　by　seeing　the　grandeur　of　the　character　of　Christ。　　He　followed　his　example　for　many　years；　calling　himself　all　the　time　an　atheist；　at　last　he　realized　that　in　Christ　we　see　the　Father。〃

〃I　am　sorry　we　lost　him　if　he　is　such　a　nice　man；〃　was　Erica's　sole　comment。　　Then；　turning　her　beautiful　eyes　on　Charles　Osmond；　she　said；　〃I　hope　my　note　did　not　convey　to　you　more　than　I　intended。　　I　asked　you　if　you　would　teach　me　Greek；　and　I　mean　to　try　to　study　the　character　of　Christ；　but；　quite　to　speak　the　truth；　I　don't　really　want　to　do　it。　　I　only　do　it　because　I　see　I　have　not　been　fair。〃

〃You　do　it　for　the　sake　of　being　a　truth…seeker；　the　best　possible　reason。〃

〃I　thought　you　would　think　I　was　going　to　do　it　because　I　hoped　to　get　something。　　I　thought　one　of　your　strong　points　was　that　people　must　come　in　a　state　of　need　and　expecting　to　be　satisfied。　　I　don't　expect　anything。　　I　am　only　doing　it　　for　the　sake　of　honesty　and　thoroughness。　　I　don't　expect　any　good　at　all。〃

〃Is　it　likely　that　you　can　expect　when　you　know　so　little　what　is　there？　　What　can　you　bring　better　than　an　hones　mind　to　the　search？　　Erica；　if　I　hadn't　known　that　you　were　absolutely　sincere；　I　should　not　have　dared　to　give　you　the　pain　I　gave　you　yesterday。　　It　was　my　trust　in　your　perfect　sincerity　which　brought　you　that　strong　accusation。　　Even　then　it　was　a　sore　piece　of　work。〃

〃Did　you　mind　it　a　little；〃　exclaimed　Erica。　　But　directly　she　had　spoken；　she　felt　that　the　question　was　absurd；　for　she　saw　a　look　in　Charles　Osmond's　eyes　that　made　the　word　〃little〃　a　mockery。

〃What　makes　that　man　so　loving？〃　she　thought　to　herself。　　〃He　reminded　me　almost　of　father；　yet　I　am　no　child　of　his。　　I　am　opposed　to　all　that　he　teaches。　　I　have　spoken　my　mind　out　to　him　in　a　way　which　must　sometimes　have　pained　him。　　Yet　he　cares　for　me　so　much　that　it　pained　him　exceedingly　to　give　me　pain　yesterday。〃

His　character　puzzled　her。　　The　loving　breath；　the　stern　condemnation　of　whatever　was　not　absolutely　true；　the　disregard　of　what　the　world　said；　the　hatred　of　shams；　and　most　puzzling　of　all；　the　often　apparent　struggle　with　himself；　the　unceasing　effort　to　conquer　his　chief　fault。　　Yet　this　noble；　honest；　intellectual　man　was　laboring　under　a　great　delusion；　a　delusion　which　somehow　gave　him　an　extraordinary　power　of　loving！　　Ah；　no！　　It　could　not　be　his　Christianity；　though；　which　made　him　loving；　for　were　not　most　Christians　hard　and　bitter　and　narrow…minded？

〃I　wish；〃　she　said；　abruptly；　〃you　would　tell　me　what　makes　you　willing　to　be　friends　with　us。　　I　know　well　enough　that　the　'Church　Chronicle'　has　been　punishing　you　for　your　defense　of　my　father；　and　that　there　must　be　a　thousand　disagreeables　to　encounter　in　your　own　set　just　because　you　visit　us。　　Why　do　you　come？〃

〃Because　I　care　for　you　very　much。〃

〃But　you　care；　too；　perhaps；　for　other　people　who　will　probably　cut　you　for　flying　in　the　face　of　society　and　visiting　social　outcasts。〃

〃I　don't　think　I　can　explain　it　to　you　yet；　　he　replied。　　〃You　would　only　tell　me；　as　you　told　me　once　before；　that　I　was　talking　riddles　to　you。　　When　you　have　read　your　Greek　Testament　and　really　studied　the　life　of　Christ；　I　think　you　will　understand。　　In　the　meantime；　St。　Paul；　I　think；　answers　your　question　better　than　I　could；　but　you　wouldn't　understand　even　his　words；　I　fancy。　　There　they　are　in　the　Greek〃　he　opened　a　Testament　and　showed　her　a　passage。　　〃I　believe　you　would　think　the　English　almost　as　great　gibberish　as　this　looks　to　you　in　its　unknown　characters。〃

〃Do　you　advise　every　one　to　learn　Greek？〃

〃No；　many　have　neither　time　nor　ability；　and　those　who　are　not　apt　at　languages　would　spend　their　time　more　usefully　over　good　translations；　I　think。　　But　you　have　time　and　brains；　so　I　am　very　glad　to　teach　you。〃

〃I　am　afraid　I　would　much　rather　it　were　for　any　other　purpose！〃　said　Erica。　　〃I　am　somehow　weary　of　the　very　name　of　Christianity。　　I　have　heard　wrangling　over　the　Bible　till　I　am　tired　to　death　of　it；　and　discussions　about　the　Atonement　and　the　Incarnation；　and　the　Resurrection；　till　the　very　words　are　hateful　to　me。　　I　am　afraid　I　shock　you；　but　just　put　yourself　in　my　place　and　imagine　how　you　would　feel。　　It　is　not　even　as　if　I　had　to　debate　the　various　questions；　I　have　merely　to　sit　and　listen　to　a　never…ending　dispute。〃

〃You　sadden　me；　but　it　is　quite　natural　that　you　should　be　weary　of　such　debates。　　I　want　you　to　realize；　though；　that　in　the　stormy　atmosphere　of　your　father's　lecture　hall；　in　the　din　and　strife　of　controversy；　it　is　impossible　that　you　should　gain　any　true　idea　of　Christ's　real　character。　　Put　aside　all　thought　of　the　dogmas　you　have　been　wearied　with；　and　study　the　life　of　the　Man。〃

Then　the　lesson　began。　　It　proved　a　treat　to　both　teacher　and　pupil。　　When　Charles　Osmond　had　left；　Erica　still　worked　on。

〃I　should　like；　at　any　rate；　to　spell　out　his　riddle；〃　she　thought　to　herself；　turning　back　to　the　passage　he　had　shown　her。　　And　letter　by　letter；　and　word　by　word；　she　made　out　〃For　the　love　of　Christ〃

The　verb　baffled　her；　however；　and　she　lay　on　the　sofa；　chafing　at　her　helplessness　till；　at　length；　Tom　happened　to　come　in；　and　brought　her　the　English　Testament　she　needed。　　Ah！　　There　it　was！　　〃For　the　love　of　Christ　constraineth　us。〃

Was　THAT　what　had　made　him　come？　　Why；　that　was　the　alleged　reason　for　half　the　persecutions　they　met　with！　　Did　the　love　of　Christ　constrain　Charles　Osmond　to　be　their　friend；　and　at　the　same　time　constrain　the　clergy　of　X______　not　many　years　before　to　incite　the　people　to　stone　her　father；　and　offer　him　every　sort　of　insult？　　Was　it　possible　that　the　love　of　Christ　constrained　Mr。　Osmond　to　endure　contempt　and　censure　on　their　behalf；　and　constrained　Mr。　Randolph　to　hire　a　band　of　roughs　to　interrupt　her　father's　speeches？

〃He　is　a　grand　exception　to　the　general　rule；〃　she　said　to　herself。　　〃If　there　were　many　Christians　like　him；　I　should　begin　to　think　there　must　be　something　more　in　Christianity　than　we　thought。　　Well；　if　only　to　please　him　I　must　try　to　study　the　New　Testament　over　again；　and　as　thoroughly　as　I　can。　　No；　not　to　please　him；　though；　but　for　the　sake　of　being　quite　honest。　　I　would　much　rather　be　working　at　that　new　book　of　Tyndall's。〃



CHAPTER　XV。　An　Interval

How　can　man　love　but　what　he　yearns　to　help？　　R。　Browning

During　the　year　of　Erica's　illness；　Brian　began　to　realize　his　true　position　toward　her　better　than　he　had　hitherto　done。

He　saw　quite　well　that　any　intrusion　of　his　love；　even　any　slight　ma