we two-第32章

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ly　ambitious　man；　but　every　one　who　is　conscious　of　ability；　every　one　who　feels　within　him　energies　lying　fallow　for　want　of　opportunity；　must　be　ambitious　for　a　larger　sphere　of　work。　　Just　as　he　was　beginning　to　dare　to　allow　himself　the　hope　of　some　change　in　his　work；　some　wider　field；　just　as　he　was　growing　sure　enough　of　himself　to　dare　to　accept　any　greater　work　which　might　have　been　offered　to　him；　he　must；　by　bringing　himself　into　evil　repute；　lose　every　chance　of　preferment。　　And　for　what？　　For　attempting　to　obtain　a　just　judgment　for　the　enemy　of　his　faith；　for　holding　out　a　brotherly　hand　to　a　man　who　might　very　probably　not　care　to　take　it；　for　consorting　with　those　who　would　at　best　regard　him　as　an　amiable　fanatic。　　Was　this　worth　all　it　would　cost？　　Could　the　exceedingly　problematical　gain　make　up　for　the　absolutely　certain　loss？

He　took　up　the　day's　newspaper。　　His　eye　was　at　once　attracted　to　a　paragraph　headed：　〃Mr。　Raeburn　at　Longstaff。〃　　The　report；　sent　from　the　same　source　as　the　report　in　the　〃Longstaff　Mercury；〃　which　had　so　greatly　displeased　Raeburn　that　morning；　struck　Charles　Osmond　in　a　most　unfavorable　light。　　This　bitter　opponent　of　Christianity；　this　unsparing　denouncer　of　all　that　he　held　most　sacred；　THIS　was　the　man　for　whom　he　was　sacrificing　friendship；　reputation；　advancement。　　A　feeling　of　absolute　disgust　rose　within　him。　　For　a　moment　the　thought　came：　〃I　can't　have　any　more　to　do　with　the　man。〃

But　he　was　too　honest　not　to　detect　almost　at　once　his　own　Pharisaical；　un…Christlike　spirit。

〃Look　not　every　man　on　his　own　things；　but　every　man　also　on　the　things　of　others。　　Let　this　mind　be　in　you　which　was　also　in　Christ　Jesus。〃

He　had　been　selfishly　consulting　his　own　happiness；　his　own　ease。　　Worse　still；　he；　of　all　men　in　the　world；　had　dared　to　set　himself　up　as　too　virtuous　forsooth　to　have　anything　to　do　with　an　atheist。　　Was　that　the　mind　which　was　in　Christ？　　Was　He　a　strait…laced；　self…righteous　Pharisee；　too　good；　too　religious　to　have　anything　to　say　to　those　who　disagreed　with　Him？　　Did　He　not　live　and　die　for　those　who　are　yet　enemies　to　God？　　Was　not　the　work　of　reconciliation　the　work　he　came　for？　　Did　He　calculate　the　loss　to　Himself；　the　risk　of　failure？　　Ah；　no；　those　who　would　imitate　God　must　first　give　as　a　free　gift；　without　thought　of　self；　perfect　love　to　all；　perfect　justice　through　that　love；　or　else　they　are　not　like　the　Father　who　〃maketh　His　sun　to　shine　on　the　evil　and　the　good；　and　sendeth　rain　on　the　just　and　on　the　unjust。〃

Charles　Osmond　paced　to　and　fro；　the　look　of　trouble　gradually　passing　from　his　face。　　Presently　he　paused　beside　the　open　window；　it　looked　upon　the　little　back　garden；　a　tiny　strip　of　ground；　indeed；　but　just　now　bright　with　sunshine　and　fresh　with　the　beauty　of　early　summer。　　The　sunshine　seemed　to　steal　into　his　heart　as　he　prayed。

〃All…Father；　drive　out　my　selfish　cowardice；　my　self…righteous　conceit。　　Give　me　Thy　spirit　of　perfect　love　to　all；　give　me　Thy　pure　hatred　of　sin。　　Melt　my　coldness　with　Thy　burning　charity；　and　if　it　be　possible　make　me　fit　to　be　Luke　Raeburn's　friend。〃

While　he　still　stood　by　the　window　a　visitor　was　announced。　　He　had　been　too　much　absorbed　to　catch　the　name；　but　it　seemed　the　most　natural　thing　that　on　turning　round　he　should　find　himself　face　to　face　with　the　prophet　of　atheism。

There　he　stood；　a　splendid　specimen　of　humanity；　every　line　in　his　rugged　Scottish　face　bespoke　a　character　of　extraordinary　force；　but　the　eyes　which　in　public　Charles　Osmond　had　seen　flashing　with　the　fire　of　the　man's　enthusiasm；　or　gleaming　with　a　cold　metallic　light　which　indicated　exactly　his　steely　endurance　of　ill　treatment；　were　now　softened　and　deepened　by　sadness。　　His　heart　went　out　to　him。　　Already　he　loved　the　man；　only　hitherto　the　world's　opinions　had　crept　into　his　heart　between　each　meeting；　and　had　paralyzed　the　free　God…like　love。　　But　it　was　to　do　so　no　longer。　　That　afternoon　he　had　dealt　it　a　final　blow；　there　was　no　more　any　room　for　it　to　rear　its　fair…speaking　form；　no　longer　should　its　veiled　selfishness；　its　so…called　virtuous　indignation　turn　him　into　a　Pharisaical　judge。

He　received　him　with　a　hand　shake　which　conveyed　to　Raeburn　much　of　the　warmth；　the　reality；　the　friendliness　of　the　man。　　He　had　always　liked　Charles　Osmond；　but　he　had　generally　met　him　either　in　public；　or　when　he　was　harassed　and　preoccupied。　　Now；　when　he　was　at　leisure；　when；　too；　he　was　in　great　trouble；　he　instinctively　perceived　that　Osmond　had　in　a　rare　degree　the　broad…hearted　sympathy　which　he　was　just　now　in　need　of。　　From　that　minute　a　life…long　friendship　sprung　up　between　the　two　men。

〃I　came　really　to　see　your　son；〃　said　Raeburn；　〃but　they　tell　me　he　is　out。　　I　wish　to　know　the　whole　truth　about　Erica。〃　　It　was　not　his　way　to　speak　very　much　where　he　felt　deeply；　and　Charles　Osmond　could　detect　all　the　deep　anxiety；　the　half…indulged　hope　which　lay　hidden　behind　the　strong　reserved　exterior。　　He　had　heard　enough　of　the　case　to　be　able　to　satisfy　him；　to　assure　him　that　there　was　no　danger；　that　all　must　be　left　to　time　and　patience　and　careful　observance　of　the　doctor's　regulations。　　Raeburn　sighed　with　relief　at　the　repeated　assurance　that　there　was　no　danger；　that　recovery　was　only　a　question　of　time。　　Death　had　so　recently　visited　his　home　that　a　grisly　fear　had　taken　possession　of　his　heart。　　Once　free　of　that；　he　could　speak　almost　cheerfully　of　the　lesser　evil。

〃It　will　be　a　great　trial　to　her；　such　absolute　imprisonment；　she　is　never　happy　unless　she　is　hard　at　work。　　But　she　is　brave　and　strong…willed。　　Will　you　look　in　and　see　her　when　you　can？〃

〃Certainly；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃We　must　do　our　best　to　keep　up　her　spirits。〃

〃Yes；　luckily　she　is　a　great　reader；　otherwise　such　a　long　rest　would　be　intolerable；　I　should　fancy。〃

〃You　do　not　object　to　my　coming　to　see　her？〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　looking　full　into　his　companion's　eyes。　　〃You　know　that　we　discuss　religious　questions　pretty　freely。〃

〃Religious　questions　always　are　freely　discussed　in　my　house；〃　said　Raeburn。　　〃It　will　be　the　greatest　advantage　to　her　to　have　to　turn　things　well　over　in　her　mind。　　Besides；　we　always　make　a　point　of　studying　our　adversaries'　case　even　more　closely　than　our　own；　and；　if　she　has　a　chance　of　doing　it　personally　as　well　as　through　books；　all　the　better。〃

〃But　supposing　that　such　an　unlikely　thing　were　to　happen　as　that　she　should　see　reason　to　change　her　present　views？　　Supposing；　if　you　can　suppose　anything　so　unlikely；　she　should　ever　in　future　years　come　to　believe　in　Christianity？〃

Raeburn　smiled；　not　quite　pleasantly。

〃It　is　as　you　say　such　a　very　remote　contingency！〃　　He　paused；　grew　grave；　then　continued　with　all　his　native　nobility：　〃Yet　I　like　you　the　better　for　having　brought　forward　such　an　idea；　improbable　as　I　hope　it　may　be　considered。　　I　feel　very　sure　of　Erica。　　She　has　thought　a　great　deal；　she　has　had　every　possible　advantage。　　We　never　teach　on　authority；　she　has　been　left　perfectly　free　and　has　learned　to　weigh　evidences　and　probabilities；　not　to　be　led　astray　by　any　emotional　fancies；　but　to　be　guided　by　reason。　　She　has　always　heard　both　sides　of　the　case；　she　has　lived　as　it　were　in　an　atmosphere　of　debate；　and　has　been；　and　of　course　always　will　be；　quite　free　to　form　her　own　opinion　on　every　subject。　　It　is　not　for　nothing　that　we　call　ourselves　Freethinkers。　　Absolute　freedom　of　thought　and　speech　is　part　of　our　creed。　　So　far　from　objecting　to　your　holding　free　discussions　with　my　daughter；　I　shall　be　positively　grateful　to　you；　and　particularly　just　now。　　I　fancy　Erica　has　inherited　enough　of　my　nature　to　enjoy　nothing　better　than　a　little　opposition。〃

〃I　know　you　are　a　born　fighter；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃We　sympathize　with　each　other　in　that。　　And　next　to　the　bliss　of　a　hard…won　victory；　I　place　the　satisfaction　of　being　well　conquered。〃

Raeburn　laughed。

〃I　am　glad　we　think　alike　there。　　People　are　very　fond　of　describing　me　as　a　big　bull　dog；　but　if　they　would　think　a　little；　they　would　see　that　the　love　of　overcoming　obstacles　is　deeply　rooted　in　the　heart　of　every　true　man。　　What　is　the　meaning　of　our　English　love　of　field　sport