we two-第29章
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honestly deeming Christianity a mischievous delusion； are really acting more in His spirit； unconsciously better doing His will than many who openly declare themselves on His side！ Yet； as Charles Osmond mused over the past lives of Luke Raeburn and his daughter； and pictured their probable future； a great grief filled his heart。 They wee both so lovable； so noble！ That they should miss in a great measure the best of life seemed such a grievous pity！ The chances that either of them would renounce atheism were； he could not but feel； infinitesimally small。 Much smaller for the father than for the child。
It was true； indeed； that she had never fairly grasped any real idea of the character of Christ。 He had once grasped it to a certain extent； and had lost the perception of its beauty and truth。 It was true also that Erica's transparent sincerity； her quick perception of the beautiful might help very greatly to overcome her deeply ingrained prejudices。 But even then what an agonywhat a fearful struggle would lie before her； 〃I think it would break his heart！〃 Charles Osmond felt his breath come fast and hard at the mere thought of such a difference between the father and daughter！ Could human strength possibly be equal to such a terrible trial？ For these two were everything to each other。 Erica worshipped her father； and Raeburn's fatherhood was the truest； deepest； tenderest part of his character。 No； human strength could not do it； but
〃I am； nyle ye drede！〃
His eye fell on a little illuminated scroll above his mantelpiece； Wycliff's rendering of Christ's reassuring words to the fearful disciples。 Yes； with the revelation of Himself； He would give the strength； make it possible to dread nothing； not even the infliction of grief to one's nearest and dearest。 Much pain； much sacrifice there would be in his service； but dreadnever。 The strength of the 〃I am；〃 bade it forever cease。 In that strength the weakest could conquer。
But he had wondered on into a dim future； had pictured a struggle which in all probability would not take place。 Even were that the case； however； he needed these words of assurance all the more himself。 They wove themselves into his reverie as he paced to an fro； they led him further and further away from perplexed surmises as to the future of Raeburn and Erica； but closer to their souls； because they took him straight to the 〃God and father of all； who is above all； and through all； and in all。〃
The next morning as he was preparing a sermon for the following Sunday； there came a knock at his study door。 His brother came in。 He was a fine looking man of two or three…and…fifty。
〃I can't stay；〃 he said； 〃I've a long round； but I just looked in to tell you about your little heretic。〃
Charles Osmond looked up anxiously。
〃It is as you thought；〃 continued his brother。 〃Slight curvature of the spine。 She's a brave little thing； I don't wonder you are interested in her。〃
〃It means a long rest； I suppose？〃
〃Yes； I told her a year in a recumbent posture； for I fancy she is one of those restless beings who will do nothing at all unless you are pretty plain with them。 It is possible that six or eight months may be sufficient。〃
〃How did she take it？〃
〃Oh； in the pluckiest way you can conceive！ Tried to laugh at the prospect； wanted me to measure her to see how much she grew in the time； and said she should expect at least three inches to reward her。〃
〃A Raeburn could hardly be deficient in courage。 Luke Raeburn is without exception the bravest man I ever met。〃
〃And I'd back his daughter against any woman I know；〃 said the doctor。
He left the room； but the news he had brought caused a long pause in his brother's sermon。
CHAPTER XII。 Raeburn's Homecoming
He is a man both loving and severe； A tender heart； a will inflexible。 Longfellow
Luke Raeburn had been lecturing in one of the large manufacturing towns。 It was the hottest part of a sultry day in June。 He was returning home； and sat in a broiling third…class carriage reading a paper。 Apparently what he read was the reverse of gratifying for there was a look of annoyance on his usually serene face； he was displeased with the report of his lecture given in the local papers； it was calculated to mislead very greatly。
Other matters； too； were harassing him just then and he was； moreover； paying the penalty of his two years' campaign； in which his almost superhuman exertions and the privations he had voluntarily endured had told severely upon his health。 Possessed of a singularly well…regulated mind； and having in an unusual degree the inestimable gift of common sense； he nevertheless often failed to use it in his personal affairs。 He had no idea of sparing himself； no idea of husbanding his strength； this was indeed great； but he treated himself as if it were inexhaustible。 The months of trouble had turned his hair quite white； he was now a more noticeable…looking man than ever。
Not unfrequently he made friends with the men with whom he traveled； he was always studying life from the workingman's point of view； and there was such a charm in his genial manner and ready sympathy that he invariably succeeded in drawing people out。 But on this day he was not in the humor for it； instead； he thought over the abusive article and the mangled report in the 〃Longstaff Mercury；〃 and debated within himself whether it were worth an action for libel。 His love of fighting said yes； his common sense said no； and in the end common sense won the day； but left him doubly depressed。 He moved to the shady side of the carriage and looked out of the window。 He was a great lover of Nature； and Nature was looking her loveliest just then。 The trees； in all the freshness of early June； lifted their foliage to the bluest of skies； the meadows were golden with buttercups； the cattle grazed peacefully； the hay fields waved unmown in the soft summer air； which； though sparing no breath for the hot and dusty traveler； was yet strong enough to sweep over the tall grasses in long； undulating waves that made them shimmer in the sunlight。
Raeburn's face grew serene once more； he had a very quick perception of the beautiful。 Presently he retired again behind a newspaper； this time the 〃Daily Review；〃 and again his brow grew stern； for there was bad news from the seat of war； he read the account of a great battle； read the numbers of his slain countrymen； and of those who had fallen on the enemy's side。 It was an unrighteous war； and his heart burned within him at the thought of the inhuman havoc thus caused by a false ambition。 Again； as if he were fated that day to be confronted with the dark side of life； the papers gave a long account of a discovery made in some charity school； where young children had been hideously ill…treated。 Raeburn； who was the most fatherly of men； could hardly restrain the expression of his righteous indignation。 All this mismanagement； this reckless waste of life； this shameful cruelty； was going on in what was called 〃Free England。〃 And here was he； a middle…aged man； and time was passing on with frightful rapidity； and though he had never lost an opportunity of lifting up his voice against oppression； how little had he actually accomplished！
〃So many worlds； so much to do； So little done； such things to be！〃
That was the burden of the unuttered cry which filled his whole being。 That was the point where his atheism often brought him to a noble despair。 But far from prompting him to repeat the maxim 〃Let us eat and drink； for tomorrow we die！〃 it spurred him rather to a sort of fiery energy； never satisfied with what it had accomplished。 Neither the dissatisfaction； however； nor even the despair ever made him feel the need of any power above man。 On the contrary； the unaccountable mystery of pain and evil was his strongest argument against the existence of a God。 Upon that rock he had foundered as a mere boy； and no argument had ever been able to reconvince him。 Impatience of present ill had in this； as in many other cases； proved the bane of his life。
He would write and speak about these cases of injustice； he would hold them up to the obloquy they so richly deserve
