we two-第25章

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　definition；　you　see。　　We　shall　agree　as　to　the　brains；　but　how　about　goodness！　　What　is　your　definition　of　that　very　wide；　not　to　say　vague；　term？〃

〃I　don't　think　I　can　define　it；〃　she　said；　〃but　one　knows　it　when　one　sees　it。〃

〃Do　you　mean　by　it　unselfishness；　courage；　truthfulness；　or　any　other　virtue？〃

〃Oh；　it　isn't　any　one　virtue；　or　even　a　parcel　of　virtues；　it　will　not　go　into　words。〃

〃It　is　then　the　nearest　approach　to　some　perfect　ideal　which　is　in　your　mind？〃

〃I　suppose　it　is；〃　she　said；　slowly。

〃How　did　that　ideal　come　into　your　mind？〃

〃I　don't　know；　I　suppose　I　got　it　by　inheritance。〃

〃From　the　original　moneron？〃

〃You　are　laughing　at　me。　　I　don't　know　how　of　course；　but　I　have　it；　which；　as　far　as　I　can　see；　is　all　that　matters。〃

〃I　am　not　sure　of　that；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃The　explanation　of　that　ideal　of　goodness　which　more　or　less　clearly　exists　in　all　our　minds；　seems　to　me　to　rest　only　in　the　conviction　that　all　are　children　of　one　perfect　Father。　　And　I　can　give　you　our　definition　of　goodness　without　hesitation；　it　is　summed　up　for　us　in　one　word　'Christlikeness。'〃

〃I　cannot　see　it；　it　seems　to　me　all　exaggerated；〃　said　Erica。　？〃I　believe　it　is　only　because　people　are　educated　to　believe　and　predisposed　to　think　it　all　good　and　perfect　that　there　are　so　many　Christians。　　You　may　say　it　is　we　who　are　prejudiced。　　If　we　are；　I'm　sure　you　Christians　have　done　enough　to　make　us　so！　　How　could　I；　for　instance；　be　anything　but　an　atheist？　　Shall　I　tell　you　the　very　first　thing　I　can　remember？〃

Her　eyes　were　flashing　with　indignant　light。

〃I　was　a　little　tiny　childonly　four　years　oldbut　there　are　some　scenes　one　never　forgets。　　I　can　see　it　all　as　plainly　as　possible；　the　room　in　a　hotel；　the　very　doll　I　was　playing　with。　　There　was　a　great　noise　in　the　street；　trampling；　hissing；　hooting。　　I　ran　to　the　window；　an　immense　crowd　was　coming　nearer　and　nearer；　the　street　was　black　with　the　throng；　they　were　all　shouting　and　yelling'Down　with　the　infidel！'　'Kill　the　atheist！'　　Then　I　saw　my　father；　he　was　there　strong　and　fearless；　one　man　against　a　thousand！　　I　tell　you　I　saw　him；　I　can　see　him　now；　fighting　his　way　on　single…handed；　not　one　creature　brave　enough　to　stand　up　for　him。　　I　saw　him　pushed；　struck；　spit　upon；　stoned。　　At　last　a　great　brick　struck　him　on　the　head。　　I　think　I　must　have　been　too　sick　or　too　angry　to　see　any　more　after　that。　　The　next　thing　I　remember　is　lying　on　the　floor　sobbing；　and　hearing　father　come　into　the　room　and　say：　'Why；　little　son　Eric；　did　you　think　they'd　killed　me？'　　And　he　picked　me　up　and　let　me　sit　on　his　knee；　but　there　was　blood　on　his　face；　and　as　he　kissed　me　it　dropped　upon　my　forehead。　　I　tell　you；　you　Christians　baptized　me　into　atheism　in　my　own　father's　blood。　　They　were　Christians　who　stoned　him；　champions　of　religion；　and　they　were　egged　on　by　the　clergy。　　Did　I　not　hear　it　all　then　in　my　babyhood？　　And　it　is　true；　it　is　all　fact；　ask　anybody　you　like；　I　have　not　exaggerated。〃

〃My　dear　child；　I　know　you　have　not；〃　said　Charles　Osmond；　putting　his　strong　hand　upon　hers。　　He　could　feel　that　she　was　all　trembling　with　indignation。　　Was　it　to　be　wondered　at？　　〃I　remember　those　riots　perfectly　well；〃　he　continued。　　〃I　think　I　felt　and　feel　as　indignant　about　them　as　yourself。　　A　fearful　mistake　was　madeMr。　Raeburn　was　shamefully　treated。　　But；　Erica〃it　was　the　first　time　he　had　called　her　by　her　name〃you　who　pride　yourself　upon　fairness；　you　who　make　justice　your　watchword　must　be　careful　not　to　let　the　wrong　doing　of　a　few　Christians　prejudice　you　against　Christianity。　　You　say　that　we　are　all　predisposed　to　accept　Christ；　but　candidly　you　must　allow；　I　think；　that　you　are　trebly　prejudiced　against　the　very　name　of　Christian。　　A　Christian　almost　inevitably　means　to　you　only　one　of　your　father's　mistaken　persecutors。〃

〃Yes；　you　are　so　much　of　an　exception　that　I　always　forget　you　are　one；〃　said　Erica；　smiling　a　little。　　〃Yet　you　are　not　like　one　of　usquiteyou　somehow　stand　alone；　you　are　unlike　any　one　I　ever　met；　you　and　Thekla　Sonnenthal　and　your　son　make　to　me　a　sort　of　new　variety。〃

Charles　Osmond　laughed；　and　changed　the　subject。〃You　are　busy　with　your　examination　work；　I　suppose？〃　And　the　question　led　to　a　long　talk　about　books　and　lectures。

In　truth；　Erica　had　plunged　into　work　of　all　kinds；　not　merely　from　love　of　it；　but　because　she　felt　the　absolute　need　of　fresh　interests；　the　great　danger　of　dwelling　unduly　on　her　sorrow。　　Then；　too；　she　had　just　grasped　a　new　idea；　an　idea　at　once　noble　and　inspiriting。　　Hitherto　she　had　thought　of　a　happy　future　for　herself；　of　a　home　free　from　troubles　and　harassing　cares。　　That　was　all　over　now；　her　golden　dream　had　come　to　an　end；　〃Hope　dead　lives　nevermore。〃　　The　life　she　had　pictured　to　herself　could　never　be；　but　her　nature　was　too　strong　to　be　crushed　by　the　sorrow；　physically　the　shock　had　weakened　her　far　more　than　any　one　knew；　but；　mentally；　it　had　been　a　wonderful　stimulant。　　She　rose　above　herself；　above　her　trouble；　and　life　began　to　mean　something　broader　and　deeper　than　before。

Hitherto　her　great　desire　had　been　to　be　free　from　care；　and　to　be　happy；　now　the　one　important　thing　seemed　not　so　much　to　be　happy；　as　to　know。　　To　learn　herself；　and　to　help　others　to　learn；　became　her　chief　object；　and；　with　all　the　devotion　of　an　earnest；　high…souled　nature；　she　set　herself　to　act　out　these　convictions。　　She　read　hard；　attended　lectures；　and　twice　a　week　taught　in　the　night　school　attached　to　the　Institute。

Charles　Osmond　could　not　help　smiling　as　she　described　her　days　to　him。　　She　still　retained　something　of　the　childishness　of　an　Undine；　and　as　they　talked　she　had　taken　up　her　old　position　on　the　hearth　rug；　and　Friskarina　had　crept　on　to　her　knee。　　Here；　undoubtedly；　was　one　whom　ignorant　people　would　stigmatize　as　〃blue〃　or　as　a　〃femme　savante；〃　they　would　of　course　be　quite　wrong　and　inexpressively　foolish　to　use　such　terms；　and　yet　there　was；　perhaps；　something　a　little　incongruous　in　the　two　sides；　as　it　were；　of　Erica's　nature；　the　keen　intellect　and　the　child…like　devotion　；　the　great　love　of　learning　and　the　intense　love　of　fun　and　humor。　　Charles　Osmond　had　only　once　in　all　his　long　years　of　experience　met　with　a　character　which　interested　him　so　much。

〃After　all；〃　he　said；　when　they　had　talked　for　some　time；　〃I　have　never　told　you　that　I　came　on　a　begging　errand；　and　I　half　fear　that　you　will　be　too　busy　to　undertake　any　more　work。〃

Erica's　face　brightened　at　the　word；　was　not　work　what　she　lived　for？

〃Oh！　　I　am　not　too　busy　for　anything！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃I　shall　quote　Marcus　Aurelius　to　you　if　you　say　I　haven't　time！　　What　sort　of　work？〃

〃Only；　when　you　can；　to　come　to　us　in　the　afternoon　and　read　a　little　to　my　mother。　　Do　you　think　you　could？　　Her　eyes　are　failing；　and　Brian　and　I　are　hard　at　work　all　day；　I　am　afraid　she　is　very　dull。〃

〃I　should　like　to　come　very　much；〃　said　Erica；　really　pleased　at　the　suggestion。　　〃What　sort　of　books　would　Mrs。　Osmond　like？〃

〃Oh；　anything！　　History；　travels；　science；　or　even　novels；　if　you　are　not　above　reading　them！〃

〃I？　　Of　course　not；〃　said　Erica；　laughing。　　〃Don't　you　think　we　enjoy　them　as　much　as　other　people？　When　there　is　time　to　read　them；　at　least；　which　isn't　often。〃

Charles　Osmond　laughed。

〃Very　well　then；　you　have　a　wide　field。　　From　Carlyle　to　Miss　Bird；　and　from　Ernst　Haeckel　to　Charles　Reade。　　I　should　make　them　into　a　big　sandwich　if　I　were　you。〃

He　said　goodbye；　and　left　Erica　still　on　the　hearth　rug；　her　face　brighter　than　it　had　been　for　months。

〃I　like　that　man；〃　she　said　to　herself。　　〃He's　honest　and　thorough；　and　good　all　through。　　Yet　how　in　the　world　does　he　make　himself　believe　in　his　creed？　　Goodness；　Christlikeness。　　He　looked　so　grand；　too；　as　he　said　that。　　It　is　wonderful　what　a　personal　sort　of　devotion　those　three　have　for　their　ideal。〃

She　wandered　away　to　recollections　of　Thekla　Sonnenthal；　and　that　carried　her　back　to　the　time　of　their　last　parting；　and　the　recollection　of　her　sorrow。　　All　at　once　the　loneliness　of　the　present　was　borne　in　upon　her　overwhelmingly；　she　looked　around　the　little　room；　the　Ilkley　couch　was　pushed　away　into