we two-第113章

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d　face　of　the　fanatic；　the　surging　movement　in　the　black　mass　of　people；　and　that　awful　struggle　and　fall。　　Was　it　he　who　was　falling？　If　so　she　was　surely　with　him；　falling　down；　down；　endlessly　down。

There　was　a　sudden　stir　and　commotion　in　the　court；　a　murmur　of　pity；　for　Luke　Raeburn's　daughter　had　fallen　back　senseless。

When　she　came　to　herself；　she　was　lying　on　the　floor　of　an　office…like　room；　with　her　head　on　Mrs。　MacNaughton's　lap。　　Brian　was　bending　over　her；　chafing　her　hands。　　A　clock　in　the　building　struck　one；　and　the　sound　seemed　to　recall　things　to　her　mind。　　She　started　up。

〃Oh！〃　she　cried；　〃why　am　I　not　with　my　father？　　Where　have　you　taken　me　to？〃

〃It's　all　right；　dear；〃said　Mrs。　MacNaughton　soothingly；　〃you　shall　come　back　directly　you　are　well　enough。〃

〃I　remember　it　all　now；〃　she　said；　〃did　I　finish？　　Must　I　go　back　there？〃

It　was　some　relief　to　know　that　Donovan　had　been　able　to　supplement　her　evidence；　and　that　the　examination　was　in　fact　over；　Drosser　having　been　remanded　for　a　week。　　She　insisted　on　going　back　to　the　hotel　at　once；　and　spent　the　whole　of　the　afternoon　and　evening　with　her　father。　　He　was　not　in　great　pain　now；　but　very　restless；　and　growing　weaker　every　hour。　　He　was　able；　however；　to　see　several　of　his　friends；　and　though　the　farewells　evidently　tried　him；　he　would　not　refuse　to　see　those　who　had　come　hundreds　of　miles　for　that　last　glimpse。

〃What　does　it　matter　if　I　am　exhausted？〃　he　said　when　some　one　remonstrated　with　him。　　〃It　will　make　no　difference　at　all　as　far　as　I　am　concerned；　and　it　will　be　a　happiness　to　them　for　the　rest　of　their　lives。　　Besides；　I　shall　not　die　today；　perhaps　not　tomorrow；　depend　upon　it；　I　shall　die　hard。〃

They　persuaded　Erica　to　rest　for　the　first　part　of　the　night。　　She　left　Tom　and　Brian　to　watch；　and　went　to　her　room；　making　them　promise　to　call　her　if　there　were　any　signs　of　change。

At　last　the　full　realization　had　come　to　her；　though　she　hated　leaving　her　father；　it　was　yet　a　sort　of　relief　to　get　away　into　the　dark；　to　be　able　to　give　way　for　a　moment。

〃Anything　but　this；　oh；　God；〃　she　sobbed；　〃anything　but　this！〃

All　else　would　have　been　easy　enough　to　bear；　but　that　he　should　be　killed　by　the　violence　and　bigotry　of　one　who　at　any　rate　called　himself　a　Christian；　this　seemed　to　her　not　tolerable。　　The　hope　of　years　had　received　its　death　blow；　the　life　she　most　loved　was　sinking　away　in　darkness；　the　work　which　she　had　so　bravely　taken　as　her　life　work　was　all　but　over；　and　she　had　failed。　　Yes；　in　spite　of　all　her　efforts；　all　her　longings；　all　her　love；　she　had　failed；　or　at　any　rate　apparently　failed；　and　in　moments　of　great　agony　we　do　not　in　fact　can　not　distinguish　between　the　real　and　the　apparent。　　Christ　Himself　could　not　do　it。

She　did　not　dare　to　let　her　sobs　rise　for　it　was　one　of　the　trials　of　that　time　that　they　were　not　in　their　own　home　but　in　a　busy　hotel　where　the　partitions　were　thin　and　every　sound　could　be　heard　in　the　adjoining　rooms。　　Moreover；　Aunt　Jean　was　sleeping　with　her　and　must　not　be　disturbed。　　But　as　she　lay　on　the　floor；　trying　to　stifle　the　restrained　sobs　which　shook　her　from　head　to　foot　　trying　to　check　the　bitter　tears　which　would　come；　her　thoughts　were　somehow　lifted　quite　away　from　the　present；　strange　little　memories　of　her　childish　days　returned　to　her；　days　when　her　father　had　been　to　her　the　living　incarnation　of　all　that　was　noble　and　good。　　Often　it　is　not　the　great　events　of　a　child's　life　which　are　so　vividly　remembered；　memory　seems　to　be　strangely　capricious　and　will　single　out　some　special　word　or　deed；　some　trifling　sign　of　love　which　has　stamped　itself　indelibly　upon　the　grain　to　bear　its　golden　harvest　of　responding　love　through　a　life　time。　　Vividly　there　came　back　to　her　now　the　eager　happiness　with　which　she　had　awaited　a　long　promised　treat；　as　a　little　thing　of　seven　years　old。　　Her　father　was　to　take　her　on　some　special　excursion；　she　had　long　ago　forgotten　what　the　particular　occasion　was；　only　it　was　something　that　could　come　but　once；　the　day　lost；　the　treat　would　be　lost。　　But　the　evening　before；　when　she　was　on　the　very　tiptoe　of　expectation；　a　celebrated　action　for　libel　had　come　to　an　end　much　sooner　than　was　expected；　and　when　her　father　returned　in　the　evening　he　had　to　tell　her　that　his　case　was　to　come　on　the　next　day；　and　that　he　could　not　possibly　take　her。　　Even　now　she　could　recall　the　bitterness　of　the　disappointment；　but　not　so　vividly　as　the　look　in　her　father's　face　as　he　lifted　her　off　the　floor　where　she　had　thrown　herself　in　the　abandonment　of　her　grief。　　He　had　not　said　a　word　then　about　the　enormity　of　crying；　he　had　just　held　her　closely　in　his　arms；　feeling　the　disappointment　a　thousand　times　more　than　she　felt　it　herself；　and　fully　realizing　that　the　loss　of　such　a　long…looked…for　happiness　was　to　a　child　what　the　loss　of　thousands　of　pounds　would　be　to　a　man。　　He　had　been　patient　with　her　　though　she　had　entirely　failed　to　see　why　he　could　not　put　off　the　case　just　for　that　day。

〃You'll　understand　one　day；　little　one；〃　he　had　said；　〃and　be　glad　that　you　have　had　your　share　of　pain　in　a　day　that　will　advance　the　cause　of　liberty。〃

She　remembered　protesting　that　that　was　impossible；　that　she　should　always　be　miserable；　at　which　he　had　only　smiled。

Then　it　came　to　Erica　that　the　life　upon　earth　was；　after　all；　as　compared　with　the　eternal　life；　what　the　day　is　in　the　life　of　a　child。　　It　seemed　everything　at　the　time；　but　was　in　truth　such　a　fragment。　　And　as　she　lay　there　in　the　immeasurably　greater　agony　of　later　life；　once　more　sobbing：　〃I　had　hoped；　I　had　planned；　this　is　more　than　I　can　bear！〃　a　Comforter　infinitely　grater；　a　Father　whose　love　was　infinitely　stronger；　drew　her　so　near　that　the　word　〃near〃　was　but　a　mockery；　and　told　her；　as　the　earthly　father　had　told　her　with　such　perfect　truth：　〃One　day　you　will　understand；　child；　one　day　you　will　be　glad　to　have　shared　the　pain！〃

In　the　next　room　there　was　for　some　time　quiet。　　Poor　Tom；　heavy　with　grief　and　weariness；　fell　asleep　beside　the　fire；　Raeburn　was　for　the　most　part　very　still　as　if　wrapped　in　thought。　　At　length　a　heavy　sigh　made　Brian　ask　if　he　were　in　pain。

〃Pain　of　mind；〃　he　said；　〃not　of　body。　　Don't　misunderstand　me；〃　he　said　after　a　pause；　with　the　natural　fear　least　Brian　should　fancy　his　secularism　failed　him　at　the　near　approach　of　death。　　〃For　myself　I　am　content；　I　have　had　a　very　full　life；　and　I　have　tried　always　yes；　I　think　I　may　say　alwaysto　work　entirely　for　the　good　of　Humanity。　　But　I　am　wretched　about　Erica。　　I　do　not　see　how　the　home　can　be　a　very　happy　one　for　her　when　I　am　gone。〃

For　a　minute　Brian　hesitated；　but　it　seemed　to　him　when　he　thought　out　the　matter；　that　a　father　so　loving　as　Raeburn　would　find　no　jealousy　at　the　thought　that　the　love　he　had　deemed　exclusively　his　own　might；　after　all；　have　been　given　to　another。

〃I　do　not　know　whether　I　am　right　to　tell　you；〃　he　said。　　〃Would　it　make　you　happier　to　know　that　I　love　Erica　that　I　have　loved　her　for　nearly　nine　years？〃

Raeburn　gave　an　ejaculation　of　astonishment。　　There　was　a　long　silence；　for　the　idea；　once　suggested　to　him；　he　began　to　see　what　a　likely　thing　it　was　and　to　wonder　that　he　had　not　thought　of　it　before。

〃I　think　you　are　well　suited　to　each　other；〃　he　said　at　last。　　〃Now　I　understand　your　visit　to　Florence。　　What　took　you　away　again　so　suddenly？〃

Brian　told　him　all　about　the　day　at　Fiesole。　　He　seemed　greatly　touched；　all　the　little　proofs　and　coincidences　which　had　never　struck　him　at　the　time　were　so　plain　now。　　They　were　still　discussing　it　when；　at　about　five　o'clock；　Erica　returned。　　She　was　pale　and　sad；　but　the　worn；　harassed；　miserable　look　had　quite　gone。　　It　was　a　strange　time　and　place　for　a　betrothal。

〃Brian　has　been　telling　me　about　the　day　at　Fiesole；〃　said　Raeburn；　letting　his　weak；　nerveless　hands　play　about　in　her　hair　as　she　knelt　beside　the　bed。　　〃You　have　been　a　leal　bairn　to　me；　Eric；　I　don't　think　I　could　have　spared　you　then　even　though　Brian　so　well　deserved　you。　　But　now　it　makes　me　very　happy　to　leave　you　to　him；　it　takes　away　my　only　care。〃

Erica　had　colored　faintly；　but　there　was　an　absence　of　respons