we two-第110章

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a　life　time　to　say；　〃Not　my　will。〃


CHAPTER　XXXIX。　Ashborough

There's　a　brave　fellow！　There's　a　man　of　pluck！　A　man　who　is　not　afraid　to　say　his　say；　Though　a　whole　town's　against　him。　　Longfellow

A　man's　love　is　the　measure　of　his　fitness　for　good　or　bad　company　here　or　elsewhere。　　Oliver　Wendell　Holmes。

The　week　at　Oakdene　proved　in　every　way　a　success；　Raeburn　liked　his　host　heartily；　and　the　whole　atmosphere　of　the　house　was　a　revelation　to　him。　　The　last　morning　there　had　been　a　little　clouded　for　news　had　reached　them　of　a　terrible　colliery　accident　in　the　north　of　England。　　The　calamity　had　a　special　gloom　about　it　for　it　might　very　easily　have　been　prevented；　the　owners　having　long　known　that　the　mine　was　unsafe。

〃I　must　say　it　is　a　little　hard　to　see　how　such　a　horrible　sin　as　carelessness　of　the　lives　of　human　beings　can　ever　bring　about　the　greater　good　which　we　believe　evil　to　do；〃　said　Erica；　as　she　took　her　last　walk　in　the　wood　with　Donovan。

〃'Tis　hard　to　see　at　the　time；〃　he　replied。　　〃But　I　am　convinced　that　it　is　so。　　The　sin　is　never　good；　never　right；　but　when　men　will　sin；　then　the　result　of　the　sin；　however　frightful；　brings　about　more　good　that　the　perseverance　in　sin　with　no　catastrophe　would　have　done。　　A　longer…deferred　good；　of　course；　than　the　good　which　would　have　resulted　by　adhering　from　the　first　to　the　right；　and　so　far　inferior。〃

〃Of　course；〃　said　Erica；　〃I　can　see　that　a　certain　amount　of　immediate　good　may　result　from　this　disaster。　　It　will　make　the　owners　of　other　mines　more　careful。〃

〃And　what　of　the　hundred　unseen　workings　that　will　result　from　it？〃　said　Donovan；　smiling。　　〃In　the　first　shock　of　horror　one　can　not　even　glimpse　the　larger　view；　but　later　on〃

He　paused　for　a　minute；　they　were　down　in　the　valley　close　to　the　little　church；　he　opened　the　gate　and　led　the　way　to　a　bench　under　the　great　yew　tree。　　Sitting　here；　they　could　see　the　recumbent　white　cross　with　its　ever…fresh　crown　of　white　flowers。　　Erica　knew　something　of　the　story　it　told。

〃Shall　I　tell　you　what　turned　me　from　an　anti…theist　to　an　atheist？〃　said　Donovan。　　〃It　was　the　horror　of　knowing　that　a　little　child's　life　had　been　ruined　by　carelessness。　　I　had　been　taught　to　believe　in　a　terrific　phantom　who　was　severely　just；　but　when　it　seemed　that　the　one　quality　of　justice　was　gone；　then　I　took　refuge　in　the　conviction　that　there　could　be　no　God　at　all。　　That　WAS　a　refuge　for　the　time；　for　it　is　better　to　believe　in　no　God　than　to　believe　in　an　immoral　God　and　it　was　long　years　before　a　better　refuge　found　me。　　Yet；　looking　back　now　over　these　seven…　and…twenty　years；　I　see　how　that　one　little　child's　suffering　has　influenced　countless　lives！　　How　it　was　just　the　most　beautiful　thing　that　could　have　happened　to　her！〃

Erica　did　not　speak　for　a　moment；　she　read　half　dreamily　the　words　engraved　on　the　tombstone。　　Nearly　sixteen　years　since　that　short；　uneventful　life　had　passed　into　the　unseen；　and　yet　little　Dot　was　at　this　moment　influencing　the　world's　history。

She　was　quite　cheerful　again　as　they　walked　home；　and；　indeed；　her　relief　about　her　father's　recovery　was　so　great　that　she　could　not　be　unhappy　for　long　about　anything。　　They　found　Raeburn　on　the　terrace　with　Ralph　and　Dolly　at　his　heels；　and　the　two…year…old　baby；　who　went　by　the　name　of　Pickle；　on　his　shoulder。

〃I　shall　quite　miss　these　bairnies；〃　he　said　as　Donovan　joined　them。〃

〃Gee　up；　horsey！　　Gee　up！〃　shouted　Pickle　from　his　lofty　perch。

〃And　oh；　daddy；　may　we　go　into　Gleyshot　wiv　you？〃　said　Dolly；　coaxingly。　　〃Elica's　father's　going　to　give　me　a　playcat。〃

〃And　me　a　whip；〃　interposed　Ralph。　　〃We　may　come　with　you；　father；　mayn't　we？〃

〃Oh！　Yes；〃　said　Donovan；　smiling；　〃if　Mr。　Raeburn　doesn't　mind　a　crowded　carriage。〃

Erica　had　gone　into　the　house。

〃I　don't　know　how　to　let　you　go；〃　said　Gladys；　〃We　have　so　much　enjoyed　having　you。　　I　think　you　had　much　better　stay　here　will　Monday　and　leave　those　two　to　take　care　of　themselves　at　Ashborough。〃

〃Oh；　no；〃　said　Erica；　smiling；　〃that　would　never　do！　　You　don't　realize　what　an　event　this　is　to　me。　　It　is　the　first　time　father　has　spoken　since　his　illness。　　Besides；　I　have　not　yet　quite　learned　to　think　him　well　enough　to　look　after　himself　though；　of　course；　he　is　getting　quite　strong　again。〃

〃Well；　since　you　will　go；　come　and　choose　a　book　for　your　journey；〃　said　Gladys。

〃Oh；　I　should　like　that；〃　said　Erica；　〃a　nice　homish　sort　of　book；　please；　where　the　people　lived　in　Arcadia　and　never　heard　of　law　courts！〃

Early　in　the　afternoon　they　drove　to　Greyshot；　stopping　first　of　all　at　the　toy　shop。　　Raeburn；　who　was　in　excellent　spirits；　fully　entered　into　the　difficulties　of　Dolly's　choice。　　At　length　a　huge　toy　cat　was　produced。

〃Oh；　I　should　like　that　one！〃　said　Dolly；　clapping　her　hands。　　〃What　a　'normous；　gleat　big　cat　it　is！〃

〃I　shouldn't　have　known　what　it　was　meant　for；〃　said　Raeburn；　scrutinizing　the　rather　shapeless　furry　quadruped。　　〃How　is　it　that　you　can't　make　them　more　like　cats　than　this？〃

〃I　don't　know；　sir；　how　it　is；〃　said　the　shopwoman；　〃we　get　very　good　dogs　and　rabbits；　and　donkeys；　but　they　don't　seem　to　have　attained　to　the　making　of　cats。〃

This　view　of　the　matter　so　tickled　Raeburn　that　he　left　Ralph　and　Dolly　to　see　the　〃'normous　gleat　big　cat〃　wrapped　up；　and　went　out　of　the　shop　laughing。

But　just　outside；　a　haggard；　wild…looking　man　came　up　to　him　and　began　to　address　him　in　excited　tones。

〃You　are　the　vile　atheist；　Luke　Raeburn！〃　he　cried；　〃Oh；　I　know　you　well　enough。　　I　tell　you；　you　have　lost　my　son's　soul；　do　you　hear；　wretched　infidel；　you　destroyed　my　son's　soul！　　His　guilt　is　upon　you！　　And　I　will　have　vengeance！　　Vengeance！〃

〃My　friend；〃　said　Raeburn　quietly；　〃supposing　your　son　had　what　you　call　a　soul；　do　you　think　that　I；　a　man；　should　be　able　to　destroy　it？〃

〃You　have　made　him　what　you　are　yourself；〃　cried　the　man；　〃an　accursed　infidel；　an　incarnate　devil！　　But　I　tell　you　I　will　have　vengeance；　vengeance！〃

〃Have　the　goodness　not　to　come　so　near　my　daughter；〃　said　Raeburn　for　the　man　was　pushing　up　roughly　against　Erica；　who　had　just　come　out　of　the　shop。　　The　words　were　spoken　in　such　an　authoritative　manner　that　the　man　shrunk　back　awed；　and　in　another　minute　the　children　had　rejoined　them；　and　they　drove　off　to　the　station。

〃What　was　that　man　saying？〃　asked　Erica。

〃Apparently　his　son　has　become　a　secularist；　and　he　means　to　revenge　himself　on　me；〃　said　Raeburn。　　〃If　it　wouldn't　have　lost　me　this　train；　I　would　have　given　him　in　charge　for　using　threatening　language。　　But　no　doubt　the　poor　fellow　was　half…witted。〃

Donovan　had　walked　on　to　the　station　and　so　had　missed　this　incident；　and　though　for　the　time　it　saddened　Erica；　yet　she　speedily　forgot　it　in　talking　to　the　children。　　The　arrival　at　Ashborough；　too；　was　exciting；　and　she　was　so　delighted　to　see　her　father　once　more　in　the　enjoyment　of　full　health　and　strength　that　she　could　not　long　be　disquieted　about　anything　else。　　It　was　a　great　happiness　to　her　to　hear　him　speak　upon　any　subject　on　which　they　were　agreed；　and　his　reception　that　evening　at　the　Ashborough　Town　Hall　was　certainly　a　most　magnificent　one。　　The　ringing　cheers　made　the　tears　start　to　her　eyes。　　The　people　had　been　roused　by　his　late　illness　and；　though　many　of　them　disliked　his　theological　views；　they　felt　that　in　political　matters　he　was　a　man　whom　they　could　very　ill　spare。　　His　speech　was　a　remarkably　powerful　one；　and　calculated　to　do　great　good。　　Erica's　spirits　rose　to　their　very　highest　pitch　and；　as　they　went　back　together　to　their　hotel；　she　kept　both　Raeburn　and　Donovan　in　fits　of　laughter。　　It　was　long　months　since　her　father　had　seen　her　so　brilliant　and　witty。

〃You　are　'fey；'　little　one；〃　he　said。　　〃I　prophesy　a　headache　for　you　tomorrow。〃

And　the　prophecy　came　true　for　Erica　awoke　the　next　morning　with　a　sense　of　miserable　oppression。　　The　day；　too；　was　gray　and　dreary…looking；　it　seemed　like　a　different　world　altogether。　　Raeburn　was　none　the　worse　for　his　exertions；　he　took　a　quiet　day；　however；　went　for　a　walk　with　Donovan　in　the　afternoon；　and　set　off　in　good　time　for　his　evening　lecture。　　It　was　Sunday　evening；　Erica　was　going