we two-第11章

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〃Yet　do　not　call　it　selfishness；〃　said　Brian；　with　a　slightly　choked　feeling；　for　there　had　been　a　depth　of　pain　in　Erica's　tone。　　〃My　father；　who　has　just　that　love　of　humanity　of　which　you　speak；　has　still　the　most　absolute　belief　inyes；　and　longing　for　immortality。　　It　is　no　selfishness　in　him。〃

〃I　am　sure　it　is　not；〃　said　Erica；　warmly；　〃I　shouldn't　think　he　could　be　selfish　in　any　way。　　I　am　glad　he　spoke　tonight；　it　does　one　good　to　hear　a　speech　like　that；　even　if　one　doesn't　agree　with　it。　　I　wish　there　were　a　few　more　clergymen　like　him；　then　perhaps　the　tolerance　and　brotherliness　he　spoke　of　might　become　possible。　　But　it　must　be　a　long　way　off；　or　it　would　not　seem　such　an　unheard…of　thing　that　I　should　be　talking　like　this　to　you。　　Why；　it　is　the　first　time　in　my　whole　life　that　I　have　spoken　to　a　Christian　except　on　the　most　every…day　subjects。〃

〃Then　I　hope　you　won't　let　it　be　the　last；〃　said　Brian。

〃I　should　like　to　know　Mr。　Osmond　better；〃　said　Erica；　〃for　you　know　it　seems　very　extraordinary　to　me　that　a　clever　scientific　man　can　speak　as　he　spoke　tonight。　　I　should　like　to　know　how　you　reconcile　all　the　contradictions；　how　you　can　believe　what　seems　to　me　so　unlikely；　how　even　if　you　do　believe　in　a　God　you　can　think　Him　good　while　the　world　is　what　it　is。　　If　there　is　a　good　God　why　doesn't　He　make　us　all　know　Him；　and　end　all　the　evil　and　cruelty？〃

Brian　did　not　reply　for　a　moment。　　The　familiar　gas…lit　street；　the　usual　number　of　passengers；　the　usual　care…worn　or　vice…worn　faces　passing　by；　damp　pavements；　muddy　roads；　fresh　winter　wind；　all　seemed　so　natural；　but　to　talk　of　the　deepest　things　in　heaven　and　earth　was　so　unnatural。　　He　was　a　very　reserved　man；　but　looking　down　at　the　eager；　questioning　face　beside　him　his　reserve　all　at　once　melted。　　He　spoke　very　quietly；　but　in　a　voice　which　showed　Erica　that　he　was；　at　least；　as　she　expressed　it　〃honestly　deluded。〃　　Evidently　he　did　from　his　very　heart　believe　what　he　said。

〃But　how　are　we　to　judge　what　is　best？〃　he　replied。　　〃My　belief　is　that　God　is　slowly　and　gradually　educating　the　world；　not　forcing　it　on　unnaturally；　but　drawing　it　on　step　by　step；　making　it　work　out　its　own　lessons　as　the　best　teachers　do　with　their　pupils。　To　me　the　idea　of　a　steady　progression；　in　which　man　himself　may　be　a　co…worker　with　God；　is　far　more　beautiful　than　the　conception　of　a　Being　who　does　not　work　by　natural　laws　at　all；　but　arbitrarily　causes　this　and　that　to　be　or　not　to　be。〃

〃But　then　if　your　God　is　educating　the　world；　He　is　educating　many　of　us　in　ignorance　of　Himself；　in　atheism。　　How　can　that　be　good　or　right？　　Surely　you；　for　instance；　must　be　rather　puzzled　when　you　come　across　atheists；　if　you　believe　in　a　perfect　God；　and　think　atheism　the　most　fearful　mistake　possible？〃

〃If　I　could　not　believe　that　God　can；　and　does；　educate　some　of　us　through　atheism；　I　should　indeed　be　miserable；〃　said　Brian；　with　a　thrill　of　pain　in　his　voice　which　startled　Erica。　　〃But　I　do　believe　that　even　atheism；　even　blank　ignorance　of　Him；　may　be　a　stage　through　which　alone　some　of　us　can　be　brought　onward。　　The　noblest　man　I　ever　knew　passed　through　that　state；　and　I　can't　think　he　would　have　been　half　the　man　he　is　if　he　had　not　passed　through　it。〃

〃I　have　only　known　two　or　three　people　who　from　atheists　became　theists；　and　they　were　horrid；〃　said　Erica；　emphatically。　　〃People　always　are　spiteful　to　the　side　they　have　left。〃

〃You　could　not　say　that　of　my　friend；〃　said　Brian；　musingly；　〃I　wish　you　could　meet　him。〃

They　had　reached　the　entrance　to　Guilford　Terrace；　Raeburn　and　Charles　Osmond　overtook　them；　and　the　conversation　ended　abruptly。　　Perhaps　because　Erica　had　made　no　answer　to　the　last　remark；　and　was　conscious　of　a　touch　of　malice　in　her　former　speech；　she　put　a　little　additional　warmth　into　her　farewell。　　At　any　rate；　there　was　that　which　touched　Brian's　very　heart　in　the　frank　innocence　of　her　hand　clasp；　in　the　sweet　yet　questioning　eyes　that　were　raised　to　his。

He　turned　away；　happier　and　yet　sadder　than　he　had　ever　been　in　his　life。　　Not　a　word　passed　between　him　and　his　father　as　they　crossed　the　square；　but　when　they　reached　home　they　instinctively　drew　together　over　the　study　fire。　　There　was　a　long　silence　even　then；　broken　at　last　by　Charles　Osmond。

〃Well；　my　son？〃　he　said。

〃I　cannot　see　how　I　can　be　of　the　least　use　to　her；〃　said　Brian；　abruptly；　as　if　his　father　had　been　following　the　whole　of　his　train　of　thought；　which；　indeed；　to　a　certain　extent；　he　had。

〃Was　this　afternoon　your　first　meeting？〃


〃Our　first　speaking。　　I　have　seen　her　many　times；　but　only　today　realized　what　she　is。〃

〃Well；　your　little　Undine　is　very　bewitching；　and　much　more　than　bewitching；　true　to　the　core　and　loyal　and　loving。　　If　only　the　hardness　of　her　life　does　not　embitter　her；　I　think　she　will　make　a　grand　woman。〃

〃Tell　me　what　you　did　this　afternoon；〃　said　Brian；　〃you　must　have　been　some　time　with　them。〃

Charles　Osmond　told　him　all　that　had　passed；　then　continued：

〃She　is；　as　I　said；　a　fascinating；　bright　little　Undine；　inclined　to　be　willful；　I　should　fancy；　and　with　a　sort　of　warmth　and　quickness　about　her　whole　character；　in　many　ways　still　a　child；　and　yet　in　others　strangely　old　for　her　years；　on　the　whole　I　should　say　as　fair　a　specimen　of　the　purely　natural　being　as　you　would　often　meet　with。　　The　spiritual　part　of　her　is；　I　fancy；　asleep。〃

〃No；　I　fancy　tonight　has　made　it　stir　for　the　first　time；〃　said　Brian；　and　he　told　his　father　a　little　of　what　had　passed　between　himself　and　Erica。

〃And　the　Longfellow　was；　I　suppose；　from　you；〃　said　Charles　Osmond。　　〃I　wish　you　could　have　seen　her　delight　over　it。　　Words　absolutely　failed　her。　　I　don't　think　any　one　else　noticed　it；　but；　her　own　vocabulary　coming　to　an　end；　she　turned　to　ours；　it　was　〃What　HEAVENLY　person　can　have　sent　me　this？〃

Brian　smiled；　but　sighed　too。

〃One　talks　of　the　spiritual　side　remaining　untouched；〃　he　said；　〃yet　how　is　it　ever　to　be　otherwise　than　chained　and　fettered；　while　such　men　as　that　Randolph　are　recognized　as　the　champions　of　our　cause；　while　injustice　and　unkindness　meet　her　at　every　turn；　while　it　is　something　rare　and　extraordinary　for　a　Christian　to　speak　a　kind　word　to　her。　　If　today　she　has　first　realized　that　Christians　need　not　necessarily　behave　as　brutes；　I　have　realized　a　little　what　life　is　from　her　point　of　view。〃

〃Then；　realizing　that　perhaps　you　may　help　her；　perhaps　another　chapter　of　the　old　legend　may　come　true；　and　you　may　be　the　means　of　waking　the　spirit　in　your　Undine。〃

〃I？　　Oh；　no！　　How　can　you　think　of　it！　　You　or　Donovan；　perhaps；　but　even　that　idea　seems　to　me　wildly　improbable。〃

There　was　something　in　his　humility　and　sadness　which　touched　his　father　inexpressibly。

〃Well；　he　said；　after　a　pause；　〃if　you　are　really　prepared　for　all　the　suffering　this　love　must　bring　you；　if　you　mean　to　take　it；　and　cherish　it；　and　live　for　it；　even　though　it　brings　you　no　gain；　but　apparent　pain　and　loss；　then　I　think　it　can　only　raise　both　you　and　your　Undine。〃

Brian　knew　that　not　one　man　in　a　thousand　would　have　spoken　in　such　a　way；　his　father's　unworldliness　was　borne　in　upon　him　as　it　had　never　been　before。　　Greatly　as　he　had　always　reverenced　and　loved　him；　tonight　his　love　and　reverence　deepened　unspeakablythe　two　were　drawn　nearer　to　each　other　than　ever。

It　was　not　the　habit　in　this　house　to　make　the　most　sacred　ties　of　life　the　butt　for　ill…timed　and　ill…judged　joking。　　No　knight　of　old　thought　or　spoke　more　reverently　or　with　greater　reserve　of　his　lady　love　than　did　Brian　of　Erica。　　He　regarded　himself　now　as　one　bound　to　do　her　service；　consecrated　from　that　day　forward　as　her　loyal　knight。


CHAPTER　V。　Erica's　Resolve

Men　are　tattooed　with　their　special　beliefs　like　so　many　South　Sea　Islanders；　but　a　real　human　heart；　with　Divine　love　in　it；　beats　with　the　same　glow　under　all　the　patterns　of　all　earth's　thousand　tribes。　　O。　Wendell　Holmes。

For　the　next　fortnight　Brian　and　Erica　continued　to　pass　each　other　every　afternoon　in　Gower　Street；　as　they　had　done　for　so　long；　the　only　difference　was　that　now　they　greeted　each　other；　that　occasionally　Brian　would　be　rendered　happy　fo