we two-第10章

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lace　where　the　religion　of　Christ　had　been　reviled　as　well　by　the　Christians　as　by　the　atheist；　he　spoke　of　the　revealer　of　the　Father；　and　a　hush　fell　on　the　listening　men；　he　spoke　of　the　Founder　of　the　great　brotherhood；　and　by　the　very　reality；　by　the　fervor　of　his　convictions；　touched　a　new　chord　in　many　a　heart。　　It　was　no　time　for　argument；　the　meeting　was　almost　over；　he　scarcely　attempted　to　answer　to　many　of　the　difficulties　and　objections　raised　by　Raeburn　earlier　in　the　evening。　　But　there　was　in　his　ten　minutes'　speech　the　whole　essence　of　Christianity；　the　spirit　of　loving　sacrifice　to　self；　the　strength　of　an　absolute　certainty　which　no　argument；　however　logical；　can　shake；　the　extraordinary　power　which　breathes　in　the　assertion：　〃I　KNOW　Him　whom　I　have　believed。〃

To　more　than　one　of　Raeburn's　followers　there　came　just　the　slightest　agitation　of　doubt；　the　questioning　whether　these　things　might　not　be。　　For　the　first　time　in　her　life　the　question　began　to　stir　in　Erica's　heart。　　She　had　heard　many　advocates　of　Christianity；　and　had　regarded　them　much　as　we　might　regard　Buddhist　missionaries　speaking　of　a　religion　that　had　had　its　day　and　was　now　only　fit　to　be　discarded；　or　perhaps　studied　as　an　interesting　relic　of　the　past；　about　which　in　its　later　years　many　corruptions　had　gathered。

Raeburn；　being　above　all　things　a　just　man；　had　been　determined　to　give　her　mind　no　bias　in　favor　of　his　own　views；　and　as　a　child　he　had　left　her　perfectly　free。　　But　there　was　a　certain　Scotch　proverb　which　he　did　not　call　to　mind；　that　〃As　the　auld　cock　crows　the　young　cock　learns。〃　　When　the　time　came　at　which　he　considered　her　old　enough　really　to　study　the　Bible　for　herself；　she　had　already　learned　from　bitter　experience　that　Christianityat　any　rate；　what　called　itself　Christianitywas　the　religion　whose　votaries　were　constantly　slandering　and　ill…treating　her　father；　and　that　all　the　privations　and　troubles　of　their　life　were　directly　or　indirectly　due　to　it。　　She；　of　course；　identified　the　conduct　of　the　most　unfriendly　and　persecuting　with　the　religion　itself；　it　could　hardly　be　otherwise。

But　tonight　as　she　toiled　away；　bravely　acting　up　to　her　lights；　taking　down　the　opponent's　speech　to　the　best　of　her　abilities；　though　predisposed　to　think　it　all　a　meaningless　rhapsody；　the　faintest　attempt　at　a　question　began　to　take　shape　in　her　mind。　　It　did　not　form　itself　exactly　into　words；　but　just　lurked　there　like　a　cloud…shadow〃supposing　Christianity　were　true？〃

All　doubt　is　pain。　　Even　this　faint　beginning　of　doubt　in　her　creed　made　Erica　dreadfully　uncomfortable。　　Yet　she　could　not　regret　that　Charles　Osmond　had　spoken；　even　though　she　imagined　him　to　be　greatly　mistaken；　and　feared　that　that　uncomfortable　question　might　have　been　suggested　to　others　among　the　audience。　　She　could　not　wish　that　the　speech　had　not　been　made；　for　it　had　revealed　the　nobility　of　the　man；　his　broad…hearted　love；　and　she　instinctively　reverenced　all　the　really　great　and　good；　however　widely　different　their　creeds。　

Brian　tried　in　vain　to　read　her　thoughts；　but　as　soon　as　the　meeting　was　over　her　temporary　seriousness　vanished；　and　she　was　once　more　almost　a　child　again；　ready　to　be　amused　by　anything。　　She　stood　for　a　few　minutes　talking　to　the　two　Osmonds；　then；　catching　sight　of　an　acquaintance　a　little　way　off；　she　bade　them　a　hasty　good　night；　much　to　Brian's　chagrin；　and　hurried　forward　with　a　warmth　of　greeting　which　he　could　only　hope　was　appreciated　by　the　thickset；　honest…looking　mechanic　who　was　the　happy　recipient。　　When　they　left　the　hall　she　was　still　deep　in　conversation　with　him。

The　fates　were　kind；　however；　to　Brian　that　day；　they　were　just　too　late　for　a　train；　and　before　the　next　one　arrived；　Raeburn　and　Erica　were　seen　slowly　coming　down　the　steps；　and　in　another　minute　had　joined　them　on　the　platform。　　Charles　Osmond　and　Raeburn　fell　into　an　amicable　discussion；　and　Brian；　to　his　great　satisfaction；　was　left　to　an　uninterrupted　tete…a…tete　with　Erica。　　There　had　been　no　further　demonstration　by　the　crowd；　and　Erica；　now　that　the　anxiety　was　over；　was　ready　to　make　fun　of　Mr。　Randolph　and　his　band；　checking　herself　every　now　and　then　for　fear　of　hurting　her　companion；　but　breaking　forth　again　and　again　into　irresistible　merriment　as　she　recalled　the　〃alligator〃　incident　and　other　grotesque　utterances。　　All　too　soon　they　reached　their　destination。　　There　was　still；　however；　a　ten　minutes'　walk　before　them；　a　walk　which　Brian　never　forgot。　　The　wind　was　high；　and　it　seemed　to　excite　Erica；　he　could　always　remember　exactly　how　she　looked；　her　eyes　bright　and　shining；　her　short；　auburn　hair；　all　blown　about　by　the　wind；　one　stray　wave　lying　across　the　quaint　little　sealskin　hat。　　He　remembered；　too；　how；　in　the　middle　of　his　argument；　Raeburn　had　stepped　forward　and　had　wrapped　a　white　woolen　scarf　more　closely　round　the　child；　securing　the　fluttering　ends。　　Brian　would　have　liked　to　do　it　himself　had　he　dared；　and　yet　it　pleased　him；　too；　to　see　the　father's　thoughtfulness；　perhaps　in　that　〃touch　of　nature；〃　he；　for　the　first　time；　fully　recognized　his　kinship　with　the　atheist。

Erica　talked　to　him　in　the　meantime　with　a　delicious；　childlike　frankness；　gave　him　an　enthusiastic　account　of　her　friend；　Hazeldine；　the　working　man　whom　he　had　seen　her　speaking　to；　and　unconsciously　reveled　in　her　free　conversation　a　great　deal　of　the　life　she　led；　a　busy；　earnest；　self…denying　life　Brian　could　see。　　When　they　reached　the　place　of　their　afternoon's　encounter；　she　alluded　merrily　to　what　she　called　the　〃charge　of　umbrellas。〃

〃Who　would　have　thought；　now；　that　in　a　few　hours'　time　we　should　have　learned　to　know　each　other！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃It　has　been　altogether　the　very　oddest　day；　a　sort　of　sandwich　of　good　and　bad；　two　bits　of　the　dry　bread　of　persecution；　put　in　between；　you　and　Mr。　Osmond　and　my　beautiful　new　Longfellow。〃

Brian　could　not　help　laughing　at　the　simile；　and　was　not　a　little　pleased　to　hear　the　reference　to　his　book；　but　his　amusement　was　soon　dispelled　by　a　grim　little　incident。　　Just　at　that　minute　they　happened　to　pass　an　undertaker's　cart　which　was　standing　at　the　door　of　one　of　the　houses；　a　coffin　was　born　across　the　pavement　in　front　of　them。　　Erica；　with　a　quick　exclamation；　put　her　hand　on　his　arm　and　shrank　back　to　make　room　for　the　bearers　to　pass。　　Looking　down　at　her；　he　saw　that　she　was　quite　pale。　　The　coffin　was　carried　into　the　house　and　they　passed　on。

〃How　I　do　hate　seeing　anything　like　that！〃　she　exclaimed。　　Then　looking　back　and　up　to　the　windows　of　the　house：　〃Poor　people！　　I　wonder　whether　they　are　very　sad。　　It　seems　to　make　all　the　world　dark　when　one　comes　across　such　things。　　Father　thinks　it　is　good　to　be　reminded　of　the　end；　that　it　makes　one　more　eager　to　work；　but　he　doesn't　even　wish　for　anything　after　death；　nor　do　any　of　the　best　people　I　know。　　It　is　silly　of　me；　but　I　never　can　bear　to　think　of　quite　coming　to　an　end；　I　suppose　because　I　am　not　so　unselfish　as　the　others。〃

〃Or　may　it　not　be　a　natural　instinct；　which　is　implanted　in　all；　which　perhaps　you　have　not　yet　crushed　by　argument。〃

Erica　shook　her　head。

〃More　likely　to　be　a　little　bit　of　one　of　my　covenanting　ancestors　coming　out　in　me。　　Still；　I　own　that　the　hope　of　the　hereafter　is　the　one　point　in　which　you　have　the　better　of　it。　　Life　must　seem　very　easy　if　you　believe　that　all　will　be　made　up　to　you　and　all　wrong　set　right　after　you　are　dead。　　You　see　we　have　rather　hard　measure　here；　and　don't　expect　anything　at　all　by　and　by。　　But　all　the　same；　I　am　always　rather　ashamed　of　this　instinct；　or　selfishness；　or　Scottish　inheritance；　whichever　it　is！〃

〃Ashamed！　　Why　should　you　be？〃

〃It　is　a　sort　of　weakness；　I　think；　which　strong　characters　like　my　father　are　without。　　You　see　he　cares　so　much　for　every　one；　and　thinks　so　much　of　making　the　world　a　little　less　miserable　in　this　generation；　but　most　of　my　love　is　for　him　and　for　my　mother；　and　so　when　I　think　of　deathof　their　death〃　she　broke　off　abruptly。

〃Yet　do　not　call　it　selfishness；〃　said　Brian；　with　a　slightly　choked　feeling；　for　there　had　been　a　depth　of　pain　in　Erica's　tone。　　〃My　father；　who　has　just　that　love　of　humanity　of　wh