the pension beaurepas-第13章

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figure　of　a　female；　who　presently　closed　the　door　behind　her。　　She
disappeared　in　the　dusk　of　the　garden；　and　I　had　seen　her　but　for　an
instant；　but　I　remained　under　the　impression　that　Aurora　Church；　on
the　eve　of　her　departure；　had　come　out　for　a　meditative　stroll。

I　lingered　near　the　gate；　keeping　the　red　tip　of　my　cigar　turned
toward　the　house；　and　before　long　a　young　lady　emerged　from　among　the
shadows　of　the　trees　and　encountered　the　light　of　a　lamp　that　stood
just　outside　the　gate。　　It　was　in　fact　Aurora　Church；　but　she　seemed
more　bent　upon　conversation　than　upon　meditation。　　She　stood　a　moment
looking　at　me；　and　then　she　said；　…

〃Ought　I　to　retireto　return　to　the　house？〃

〃If　you　ought；　I　should　be　very　sorry　to　tell　you　so；〃　I　answered。

〃But　we　are　all　alone；　there　is　no　one　else　in　the　garden。〃

〃It　is　not　the　first　time　that　I　have　been　alone　with　a　young　lady。
I　am　not　at　all　terrified。〃

〃Ah；　but　I？〃　said　the　young　girl。　　〃I　have　never　been　alone〃　then；
quickly；　she　interrupted　herself。　　〃Good；　there's　another　false
note！〃

〃Yes；　I　am　obliged　to　admit　that　one　is　very　false。〃

She　stood　looking　at　me。　　〃I　am　going　away　to…morrow；　after　that
there　will　be　no　one　to　tell　me。〃



CHAPTER　X。



〃That　will　matter　little；〃　I　presently　replied。　　〃Telling　you　will　do
no　good。〃

〃Ah；　why　do　you　say　that？〃　murmured　Aurora　Church。

I　said　it　partly　because　it　was　true；　but　I　said　it　for　other　reasons
as　well；　which　it　was　hard　to　define。　　Standing　there　bare…headed；　in
the　night　air；　in　the　vague　light；　this　young　lady　looked　extremely
interesting；　and　the　interest　of　her　appearance　was　not　diminished　by
a　suspicion　on　my　own　part　that　she　had　come　into　the　garden　knowing
me　to　be　there。　　I　thought　her　a　charming　girl；　and　I　felt　very　sorry
for　her；　but；　as　I　looked　at　her；　the　terms　in　which　Madame　Beaurepas
had　ventured　to　characterise　her　recurred　to　me　with　a　certain　force。
I　had　professed　a　contempt　for　them　at　the　time；　but　it　now　came　into
my　head　that　perhaps　this　unfortunately　situated；　this　insidiously
mutinous　young　creature；　was　looking　out　for　a　preserver。　　She　was
certainly　not　a　girl　to　throw　herself　at　a　man's　head；　but　it　was
possible　that　in　her　intenseher　almost　morbid…desire　to　put　into
effect　an　ideal　which　was　perhaps　after　all　charged　with　as　many
fallacies　as　her　mother　affirmed；　she　might　do　something　reckless　and
irregularsomething　in　which　a　sympathetic　compatriot；　as　yet
unknown；　would　find　his　profit。　　The　image；　unshaped　though　it　was；
of　this　sympathetic　compatriot；　filled　me　with　a　sort　of　envy。　　For
some　moments　I　was　silent；　conscious　of　these　things；　and　then　I
answered　her　question。　　〃Because　some　thingssome　differences　are
felt；　not　learned。　　To　you　liberty　is　not　natural；　you　are　like　a
person　who　has　bought　a　repeater；　and；　in　his　satisfaction；　is
constantly　making　it　sound。　　To　a　real　American　girl　her　liberty　is　a
very　vulgarly…ticking　old　clock。〃

〃Ah；　you　mean；　then；〃　said　the　poor　girl；　〃that　my　mother　has　ruined
me？〃

〃Ruined　you？〃

〃She　has　so　perverted　my　mind；　that　when　I　try　to　be　natural　I　am
necessarily　immodest。〃

〃That　again　is　a　false　note；〃　I　said；　laughing。

She　turned　away。　　〃I　think　you　are　cruel。〃

〃By　no　means；〃　I　declared；　〃because；　for　my　own　taste；　I　prefer　you
asas〃

I　hesitated；　and　she　turned　back。　　〃As　what？〃

〃As　you　are。〃

She　looked　at　me　a　while　again；　and　then　she　said；　in　a　little
reasoning　voice　that　reminded　me　of　her　mother's；　only　that　it　was
conscious　and　studied；　〃I　was　not　aware　that　I　am　under　any
particular　obligation　to　please　you！〃　　And　then　she　gave　a　clear
laugh；　quite　at　variance　with　her　voice。

〃Oh；　there　is　no　obligation；〃　I　said；　〃but　one　has　preferences。　　I　am
very　sorry　you　are　going　away。〃

〃What　does　it　matter　to　you？　　You　are　going　yourself。〃

〃As　I　am　going　in　a　different　direction　that　makes　all　the　greater
separation。〃

She　answered　nothing；　she　stood　looking　through　the　bars　of　the　tall
gate　at　the　empty；　dusky　street。　　〃This　grille　is　like　a　cage；〃　she
said；　at　last。

〃Fortunately；　it　is　a　cage　that　will　open。〃　　And　I　laid　my　hand　on
the　lock。

〃Don't　open　it；〃　and　she　pressed　the　gate　back。　　〃If　you　should　open
it　I　would　go　outand　never　return。〃

〃Where　should　you　go？〃

〃To　America。〃

〃Straight　away？〃

〃Somehow　or　other。　　I　would　go　to　the　American　consul。　　I　would　beg
him　to　give　me　moneyto　help　me。〃

I　received　this　assertion　without　a　smile；　I　was　not　in　a　smiling
humour。　　On　the　contrary；　I　felt　singularly　excited；　and　I　kept　my
hand　on　the　lock　of　the　gate。　　I　believed　（or　I　thought　I　believed）
what　my　companion　said；　and　I　hadabsurd　as　it　may　appearan
irritated　vision　of　her　throwing　herself　upon　consular　sympathy。　　It
seemed　to　me；　for　a　moment；　that　to　pass　out　of　that　gate　with　this
yearning；　straining；　young　creature；　would　be　to　pass　into　some
mysterious　felicity。　　If　I　were　only　a　hero　of　romance；　I　would
offer；　myself；　to　take　her　to　America。

In　a　moment　more；　perhaps；　I　should　have　persuaded　myself　that　I　was
one；　but　at　this　juncture　I　heard　a　sound　that　was　not　romantic。　　It
proved　to　be　the　very　realistic　tread　of　Celestine；　the　cook；　who
stood　grinning　at　us　as　we　turned　about　from　our　colloquy。

〃I　ask　bien　pardon；〃　said　Celestine。　　〃The　mother　of　Mademoiselle
desires　that　Mademoiselle　should　come　in　immediately。　　M。　le　Pasteur
Galopin　has　come　to　make　his　adieux　to　ces　dames。〃

Aurora　gave　me　only　one　glance；　but　it　was　a　touching　one。　　Then　she
slowly　departed　with　Celestine。

The　next　morning；　on　coming　into　the　garden；　I　found　that　Mrs。　Church
and　her　daughter　had　departed。　　I　was　informed　of　this　fact　by　old　M。
Pigeonneau；　who　sat　there　under　a　tree；　having　his　coffee　at　a　little
green　table。

〃I　have　nothing　to　envy　you；〃　he　said；　〃I　had　the　last　glimpse　of
that　charming　Miss　Aurora。〃

〃I　had　a　very　late　glimpse；〃　I　answered；　〃and　it　was　all　I　could
possibly　desire。〃

〃I　have　always　noticed；〃　rejoined　M。　Pigeonneau；　〃That　your　desires
are　more　moderate　than　mine。　　Que　voulez…vous？　　I　am　of　the　old
school。　　Je　crois　que　la　race　se　perd。　　I　regret　the　departure　of
that　young　girl：　　she　had　an　enchanting　smile。　　Ce　sera　une　femme
d'esprit。　　For　the　mother；　I　can　console　myself。　　I　am　not　sure　that
SHE　was　a　femme　d'esprit；　though　she　wished　to　pass　for　one。　　Round；
rosy；　potelee；　she　yet　had　not　the　temperament　of　her　appearance；　she
was　a　femme　austere。　　I　have　often　noticed　that　contradiction　in
American　ladies。　　You　see　a　plump　little　woman；　with　a　speaking　eye；
and　the　contour　and　complexion　of　a　ripe　peach；　and　if　you　venture　to
conduct　yourself　in　the　smallest　degree　in　accordance　with　these
indices；　you　discover　a　species　of　Methodistof　what　do　you　call
it？of　Quakeress。　　On　the　other　hand；　you　encounter　a　tall；　lean；
angular　person；　without　colour；　without　grace；　all　elbows　and　knees；
and　you　find　it's　a　nature　of　the　tropics！　The　women　of　duty　look
like　coquettes；　and　the　others　look　like　alpenstocks！　However；　we
have　still　the　handsome　Madame　Rucka　real　femme　de　Rubens；　celle…
la。　　It　is　very　true　that　to　talk　to　her　one　must　know　the　Flemish
tongue！〃

I　had　determined；　in　accordance　with　my　brother's　telegram；　to　go
away　in　the　afternoon；　so　that；　having　various　duties　to　perform；　I
left　M。　Pigeonneau　to　his　international　comparisons。　　Among　other
things；　I　went　in　the　course　of　the　morning　to　the　banker's；　to　draw
money　for　my　journey；　and　there　I　found　Mr。　Ruck；　with　a　pile　of
crumpled　letters　in　his　lap；　his　chair　tipped　back；　and　his　eyes
gloomily　fixed　on　the　fringe　of　the　green　plush　table…cloth。　　I
timidly　expressed　the　hope　that　he　had　got　better　news　from　home；
whereupon　he　gave　me　a　look　in　which；　considering　his　provocation；
the　absence　of　irritation　was　conspicuous。

He　took　up　his　letters　in　his　large　hand；　and　crushing　them　together；
held　it　out　to　me。　　〃That　epistolary　matter；〃　he　said；　〃is　worth
about　five　cents。　　But　I　guess；〃　he　added；　rising；　〃I　have　taken　it
in　by　this　time。〃　　When　I　had　drawn　my　money　I　asked　him　to　come　and
breakfast　with　me　at　the　little　brasserie；　much　favoured　by　students