the autobiography of a quack-第15章

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THE　CASE　OF　GEORGE　DEDLOW

The　following　notes　of　my　own　case　have　been　declined　on　various　pretests　by　every　medical　journal　to　which　I　have　offered　them。　There　was；　perhaps；　some　reason　in　this；　because　many　of　the　medical　facts　which　they　record　are　not　altogether　new；　and　because　the　psychical　deductions　to　which　they　have　led　me　are　not　in　themselves　of　medical　interest。　I　ought　to　add　that　a　great　deal　of　what　is　here　related　is　not　of　any　scientific　value　whatsoever；　but　as　one　or　two　people　on　whose　judgment　I　rely　have　advised　me　to　print　my　narrative　with　all　the　personal　details；　rather　than　in　the　dry　shape　in　which；　as　a　psychological　statement；　I　shall　publish　it　elsewhere；　I　have　yielded　to　their　views。　I　　suspect；　however；　that　the　very　character　of　my　record　will；　in　the　eyes　of　some　of　my　readers；　tend　to　lessen　the　value　of　the　metaphysical　discoveries　which　it　sets　forth。


I　am　the　son　of　a　physician；　still　in　large　practice；　in　the　village　of　Abington；　Scofield　County；　Indiana。　Expecting　to　act　as　his　future　partner；　I　studied　medicine　in　his　office；　and　in　1859　and　1860　attended　lectures　at　the　Jefferson　Medical　College　in　Philadelphia。　My　second　course　should　have　been　in　the　following　year；　but　the　outbreak　of　the　Rebellion　so　crippled　my　father's　means　that　I　was　forced　to　abandon　my　intention。　The　demand　for　army　surgeons　at　this　time　became　very　great；　and　although　not　a　graduate；　I　found　no　difficulty　in　getting　the　place　of　assistant　surgeon　to　the　Tenth　Indiana　Volunteers。　In　the　subsequent　Western　campaigns　this　organization　suffered　so　severely　that　before　the　term　of　its　service　was　over　it　was　merged　in　the　Twenty…first　Indiana　Volunteers；　and　I；　as　an　extra　surgeon；　ranked　by　the　medical　officers　of　the　latter　regiment；　was　transferred　to　the　Fifteenth　Indiana　Cavalry。　Like　many　physicians；　I　had　contracted　a　strong　taste　for　army　life；　　and；　disliking　cavalry　service；　sought　and　obtained　the　position　of　first　lieutenant　in　the　Seventy…ninth　Indiana　Volunteers；　an　infantry　regiment　of　excellent　character。

On　the　day　after　I　assumed　command　of　my　company；　which　had　no　captain；　we　were　sent　to　garrison　a　part　of　a　line　of　block…　houses　stretching　along　the　Cumberland　River　below　Nashville；　then　occupied　by　a　portion　of　the　command　of　General　Rosecrans。

The　life　we　led　while　on　this　duty　was　tedious　and　at　the　same　time　dangerous　in　the　extreme。　Food　was　scarce　and　bad；　the　water　horrible；　and　we　had　no　cavalry　to　forage　for　us。　If；　as　infantry；　we　attempted　to　levy　supplies　upon　the　scattered　farms　around　us；　the　population　seemed　suddenly　to　double；　and　in　the　shape　of　guerrillas　‘‘potted''　us　industriously　from　behind　distant　trees；　rocks；　or　fences。　Under　these　various　and　unpleasant　influences；　combined　with　a　fair　infusion　of　malaria；　our　men　rapidly　lost　health　and　spirits。　Unfortunately；　no　proper　medical　supplies　had　been　forwarded　with　our　small　force　（two　companies）；　and；　as　the　fall　advanced；　the　want　of　quinine　and　stimulants　became　a　serious　　annoyance。　Moreover；　our　rations　were　running　low；　we　had　been　three　weeks　without　a　new　supply；　and　our　commanding　officer；　Major　Henry　L。　Terrill；　began　to　be　uneasy　as　to　the　safety　of　his　men。　About　this　time　it　was　supposed　that　a　train　with　rations　would　be　due　from　the　post　twenty　miles　to　the　north　of　us；　yet　it　was　quite　possible　that　it　would　bring　us　food；　but　no　medicines；　which　were　what　we　most　needed。　The　command　was　too　small　to　detach　any　part　of　it；　and　the　major　therefore　resolved　to　send　an　officer　alone　to　the　post　above　us；　where　the　rest　of　the　Seventy…ninth　lay；　and　whence　they　could　easily　forward　quinine　and　stimulants　by　the　train；　if　it　had　not　left；　or；　if　it　had；　by　a　small　cavalry　escort。

It　so　happened；　to　my　cost；　as　it　turned　out；　that　I　was　the　only　officer　fit　to　make　the　journey；　and　I　was　accordingly　ordered　to　proceed　to　Blockhouse　No。　3　and　make　the　required　arrangements。　I　started　alone　just　after　dusk　the　next　night；　and　during　the　darkness　succeeded　in　getting　within　three　miles　of　my　destination。　At　this　time　I　found　that　I　had　lost　my　way；　and；　although　aware　of　the　danger　of　my　act；　was　forced　to　turn　aside　and　ask　at　a　log　cabin　for　　directions。　The　house　contained　a　dried…up　old　woman　and　four　white…headed；　half…naked　children。　The　woman　was　either　stone…deaf　or　pretended　to　be　so；　but；　at　all　events；　she　gave　me　no　satisfaction；　and　I　remounted　and　rode　away。　On　coming　to　the　end　of　a　lane；　into　which　I　had　turned　to　seek　the　cabin；　I　found　to　my　surprise　that　the　bars　had　been　put　up　during　my　brief　parley。　They　were　too　high　to　leap；　and　I　therefore　dismounted　to　pull　them　down。　As　I　touched　the　top　rail；　I　heard　a　rifle；　and　at　the　same　instant　felt　a　blow　on　both　arms；　which　fell　helpless。　I　staggered　to　my　horse　and　tried　to　mount；　but；　as　I　could　use　neither　arm；　the　effort　was　vain；　and　I　therefore　stood　still；　awaiting　my　fate。　I　am　only　conscious　that　I　saw　about　me　several　graybacks；　for　I　must　have　fallen　fainting　almost　immediately。

When　I　awoke　I　was　lying　in　the　cabin　near　by；　upon　a　pile　of　rubbish。　Ten　or　twelve　guerrillas　were　gathered　about　the　fire；　apparently　drawing　lots　for　my　watch；　boots；　hat；　etc。　I　now　made　an　effort　to　find　out　how　far　I　was　hurt。　I　discovered　that　I　could　use　the　left　forearm　and　hand　pretty　well；　and　with　this　hand　I　felt　the　right　limb　all　over　until　I　touched　the　wound。　The　ball　　had　passed　from　left　to　right　through　the　left　biceps；　and　directly　through　the　right　arm　just　below　the　shoulder；　emerging　behind。　The　right　arm　and　forearm　were　cold　and　perfectly　insensible。　I　pinched　them　as　well　as　I　could；　to　test　the　amount　of　sensation　remaining；　but　the　hand　might　as　well　have　been　that　of　a　dead　man。　I　began　to　understand　that　the　nerves　had　been　wounded；　and　that　the　part　was　utterly　powerless。　By　this　time　my　friends　had　pretty　well　divided　the　spoils；　and；　rising　together；　went　out。　The　old　woman　then　came　to　me；　and　said：　‘‘Reckon　you'd　best　git　up。　They…'uns　is　a…goin'　to　take　you　away。''　To　this　I　only　answered；　‘‘Water；　water。''　I　had　a　grim　sense　of　amusement　on　finding　that　the　old　woman　was　not　deaf；　for　she　went　out；　and　presently　came　back　with　a　gourdful；　which　I　eagerly　drank。　An　hour　later　the　graybacks　returned；　and　finding　that　I　was　too　weak　to　walk；　carried　me　out　and　laid　me　on　the　bottom　of　a　common　cart；　with　which　they　set　off　on　a　trot。　The　jolting　was　horrible；　but　within　an　hour　I　began　to　have　in　my　dead　right　hand　a　strange　burning；　which　was　rather　a　relief　to　me。　It　increased　as　the　sun　rose　and　the　day　grew　warm；　until　I　felt　　as　if　the　hand　was　caught　and　pinched　in　a　red…hot　vise。　Then　in　my　agony　I　begged　my　guard　for　water　to　wet　it　with；　but　for　some　reason　they　desired　silence；　and　at　every　noise　threatened　me　with　a　revolver。　At　length　the　pain　became　absolutely　unendurable；　and　I　grew　what　it　is　the　fashion　to　call　demoralized。　I　screamed；　cried；　and　yelled　in　my　torture；　until；　as　I　suppose；　my　captors　became　alarmed；　and；　stopping；　gave　me　a　handkerchief；my　own；　I　fancy；and　a　canteen　of　water；　with　which　I　wetted　the　hand；　to　my　unspeakable　relief。

It　is　unnecessary　to　detail　the　events　by　which；　finally；　I　found　myself　in　one　of　the　rebel　hospitals　near　Atlanta。　Here；　for　the　first　time；　my　wounds　were　properly　cleansed　and　dressed　by　a　Dr。　Oliver　T。　Wilson；　who　treated　me　throughout　with　great　kindness。　I　told　him　I　had　been　a　doctor；　which；　perhaps；　may　have　been　in　part　the　cause　of　the　unusual　tenderness　with　which　I　was　managed。　The　left　arm　was　now　quite　easy；　although；　as　will　be　seen；　it　never　entirely　healed。　The　right　arm　was　worse　than　ever　the　humerus　broken；　the　nerves　wounded；　and　the　hand　alive　only　to　pain。　I　use　this　phrase　because　it　is　connected　in　my　mind　　with　a　visit　from　a　local　visitor；I　am　not　sure　he　was　a　preacher；who　used　to　go　daily　through　the　wards；　and　talk　to　us　or　write　our　letters。　One　morning　he　stopped　at　my　bed；　when　this　little　talk　occurred：

‘‘How　are　you；　lieutenant？''

‘‘Oh；''　said　I；　‘‘as　usual。　All　right；　but　this　hand；　which　is　dead　except　to　pain。''

‘‘Ah；''　said　he；　‘‘such　and　thus　will　the　wicked　besuch　will　you　be　if　you　die