in the cage-第14章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



of　it　in　her　manner　of　holding　her　head；　she　continued　not　to　move…

…she　only　smiled　at　him。　　The　evening　had　thickened　now；　the

scattered　lamps　were　red；　the　Park；　all　before　them；　was　full　of

obscure　and　ambiguous　life；　there　were　other　couples　on　other

benches　whom　it　was　impossible　not　to　see；　yet　at　whom　it　was

impossible　to　look。　　〃But　I've　walked　so　much　out　of　my　way　with

you　only　just　to　show　you　thatthat〃with　this　she　paused；　it　was

not　after　all　so　easy　to　express〃that　anything　you　may　have

thought　is　perfectly　true。〃



〃Oh　I've　thought　a　tremendous　lot！〃　her　companion　laughed。　　〃Do　you

mind　my　smoking？〃



〃Why　should　I？　　You　always　smoke　THERE。〃



〃At　your　place？　　Oh　yes；　but　here　it's　different。〃



〃No；〃　she　said　as　he　lighted　a　cigarette；　〃that's　just　what　it

isn't。　　It's　quite　the　same。〃



〃Well；　then；　that's　because　'there'　it's　so　wonderful！〃



〃Then　you're　conscious　of　how　wonderful　it　is？〃　she　returned。



He　jerked　his　handsome　head　in　literal　protest　at　a　doubt。　　〃Why

that's　exactly　what　I　mean　by　my　gratitude　for　all　your　trouble。

It　has　been　just　as　if　you　took　a　particular　interest。〃　　She　only

looked　at　him　by　way　of　answer　in　such　sudden　headlong

embarrassment；　as　she　was　quite　aware；　that　while　she　remained

silent　he　showed　himself　checked　by　her　expression。　　〃You　HAVE

haven't　you？taken　a　particular　interest？〃



〃Oh　a　particular　interest！〃　she　quavered　out；　feeling　the　whole

thingher　headlong　embarrassmentget　terribly　the　better　of　her；

and　wishing；　with　a　sudden　scare；　all　the　more　to　keep　her　emotion

down。　　She　maintained　her　fixed　smile　a　moment　and　turned　her　eyes

over　the　peopled　darkness；　unconfused　now；　because　there　was

something　much　more　confusing。　　This；　with　a　fatal　great　rush；　was

simply　the　fact　that　they　were　thus　together。　　They　were　near；

near；　and　all　she　had　imagined　of　that　had　only　become　more　true；

more　dreadful　and　overwhelming。　　She　stared　straight　away　in

silence　till　she　felt　she　looked　an　idiot；　then；　to　say　something；

to　say　nothing；　she　attempted　a　sound　which　ended　in　a　flood　of

tears。








CHAPTER　XVI







Her　tears　helped　her　really　to　dissimulate；　for　she　had　instantly；

in　so　public　a　situation；　to　recover　herself。　　They　had　come　and

gone　in　half　a　minute；　and　she　immediately　explained　them。　　〃It's

only　because　I'm　tired。　　It's　thatit's　that！〃　　Then　she　added　a

trifle　incoherently：　　〃I　shall　never　see　you　again。〃



〃Ah　but　why　not？〃　　The　mere　tone　in　which　her　companion　asked　this

satisfied　her　once　for　all　as　to　the　amount　of　imagination　for

which　she　could　count　on　him。　　It　was　naturally　not　large：　　it　had

exhausted　itself　in　having　arrived　at　what　he　had　already　touched

uponthe　sense　of　an　intention　in　her　poor　zeal　at　Cocker's。　　But

any　deficiency　of　this　kind　was　no　fault　in　him：　　he　wasn't　obliged

to　have　an　inferior　clevernessto　have　second…rate　resources　and

virtues。　　It　had　been　as　if　he　almost　really　believed　she　had

simply　cried　for　fatigue；　and　he　accordingly　put　in　some　kind

confused　plea〃You　ought　really　to　take　something：　　won't　you　have

something　or　other　SOMEWHERE？〃　to　which　she　had　made　no　response

but　a　headshake　of　a　sharpness　that　settled　it。　　〃Why　shan't　we　all

the　more　keep　meeting？〃



〃I　mean　meeting　this　wayonly　this　way。　　At　my　place　thereTHAT

I've　nothing　to　do　with；　and　I　hope　of　course　you'll　turn　up；　with

your　correspondence；　when　it　suits　you。　　Whether　I　stay　or　not；　I

mean；　for　I　shall　probably　not　stay。〃



〃You're　going　somewhere　else？〃　he　put　it　with　positive　anxiety。



〃Yes；　ever　so　far　awayto　the　other　end　of　London。　　There　are　all

sorts　of　reasons　I　can't　tell　you；　and　it's　practically　settled。

It's　better　for　me；　much；　and　I've　only　kept　on　at　Cocker's　for

YOU。〃



〃For　me？〃



Making　out　in　the　dusk　that　he　fairly　blushed；　she　now　measured　how

far　he　had　been　from　knowing　too　much。　　Too　much；　she　called　it　at

present；　and　that　was　easy；　since　it　proved　so　abundantly　enough

for　her　that　he　should　simply　be　where　he　was。　　〃As　we　shall　never

talk　this　way　but　to…nightnever；　never　again！here　it　all　is。

I'll　say　it；　I　don't　care　what　you　think；　it　doesn't　matter；　I　only

want　to　help　you。　　Besides；　you're　kindyou're　kind。　　I've　been

thinking　then　of　leaving　for　ever　so　long。　　But　you've　come　so

oftenat　timesand　you've　had　so　much　to　do；　and　it　has　been　so

pleasant　and　interesting；　that　I've　remained；　I've　kept　putting　off

any　change。　　More　than　once；　when　I　had　nearly　decided；　you've

turned　up　again　and　I've　thought　'Oh　no！'　　That's　the　simple　fact！〃

She　had　by　this　time　got　her　confusion　down　so　completely　that　she

could　laugh。　　〃This　is　what　I　meant　when　I　said　to　you　just　now

that　I　'knew。'　　I've　known　perfectly　that　you　knew　I　took　trouble

for　you；　and　that　knowledge　has　been　for　me；　and　I　seemed　to　see　it

was　for　you；　as　if　there　were　somethingI　don't　know　what　to　call

it！between　us。　　I　mean　something　unusual　and　good　and　awfully

nicesomething　not　a　bit　horrid　or　vulgar。〃



She　had　by　this　time；　she　could　see；　produced　a　great　effect　on

him；　but　she　would　have　spoken　the　truth　to　herself　had　she　at　the

same　moment　declared　that　she　didn't　in　the　least　care：　　all　the

more　that　the　effect　must　be　one　of　extreme　perplexity。　　What；　in

it　all；　was　visibly　clear　for　him；　none　the　less；　was　that　he　was

tremendously　glad　he　had　met　her。　　She　held　him；　and　he　was

astonished　at　the　force　of　it；　he　was　intent；　immensely

considerate。　　His　elbow　was　on　the　back　of　the　seat；　and　his　head；

with　the　pot…hat　pushed　quite　back；　in　a　boyish　way；　so　that　she

really　saw　almost　for　the　first　time　his　forehead　and　hair；　rested

on　the　hand　into　which　he　had　crumpled　his　gloves。　　〃Yes；〃　he

assented；　〃it's　not　a　bit　horrid　or　vulgar。〃



She　just　hung　fire　a　moment；　then　she　brought　out　the　whole　truth。

〃I'd　do　anything　for　you。　　I'd　do　anything　for　you。〃　　Never　in　her

life　had　she　known　anything　so　high　and　fine　as　this；　just　letting

him　have　it　and　bravely　and　magnificently　leaving　it。　　Didn't　the

place；　the　associations　and　circumstances；　perfectly　make　it　sound

what　it　wasn't？　and　wasn't　that　exactly　the　beauty？



So　she　bravely　and　magnificently　left　it；　and　little　by　little　she

felt　him　take　it　up；　take　it　down；　as　if　they　had　been　on　a　satin

sofa　in　a　boudoir。　　She　had　never　seen　a　boudoir；　but　there　had

been　lots　of　boudoirs　in　the　telegrams。　　What　she　had　said　at　all

events　sank　into　him；　so　that　after　a　minute　he　simply　made　a

movement　that　had　the　result　of　placing　his　hand　on　her　own

presently　indeed　that　of　her　feeling　herself　firmly　enough　grasped。

There　was　no　pressure　she　need　return；　there　was　none　she　need

decline；　she　just　sat　admirably　still；　satisfied　for　the　time　with

the　surprise　and　bewilderment　of　the　impression　she　made　on　him。

His　agitation　was　even　greater　on　the　whole　than　she　had　at　first

allowed　for。　　〃I　say；　you　know；　you　mustn't　think　of　leaving！〃　he

at　last　broke　out。



〃Of　leaving　Cocker's；　you　mean？〃



〃Yes；　you　must　stay　on　there；　whatever　happens；　and　help　a　fellow。〃



She　was　silent　a　little；　partly　because　it　was　so　strange　and

exquisite　to　feel　him　watch　her　as　if　it　really　mattered　to　him　and

he　were　almost　in　suspense。　　〃Then　you　HAVE　quite　recognised　what

I've　tried　to　do？〃　she　asked。



〃Why；　wasn't　that　exactly　what　I　dashed　over　from　my　door　just　now

to　thank　you　for？〃



〃Yes；　so　you　said。〃



〃And　don't　you　believe　it？〃



She　looked　down　a　moment　at　his　hand；　which　continued　to　cover　her

own；　whereupon　he　presently　drew　it　back；　rather　restlessly　folding

his　arms。　　Without　answering　his　question　she　went　on：　　〃Have　you

ever　spoken　of　me？〃



〃Spoken　of　you？〃



〃Of　my　being　thereof　my　knowing；　and　that　sort　of　thing。〃



〃Oh　never　to　a　human　creature！〃　he　eagerly　declared。



She　had　a　small　drop　at　this；　which　was　expressed　in　another　pause；

and　she　then　returned