desperate remedies-第61章
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3。 NOON
The weather gave way。 In half…an…hour there began a rapid thaw。 By
ten o'clock the roads； though still dangerous； were practicable to
the extent of the half…mile required by the people of Knapwater
Park。 One mass of heavy leaden cloud spread over the whole sky； the
air began to feel damp and mild out of doors； though still cold and
frosty within。
They reached the church and passed up the nave； the deep…coloured
glass of the narrow windows rendering the gloom of the morning
almost night itself inside the building。 Then the ceremony began。
The only warmth or spirit imported into it came from the bridegroom；
who retained a vigorouseven Spenserianbridal…mood throughout the
morning。
Cytherea was as firm as he at this critical moment； but as cold as
the air surrounding her。 The few persons forming the wedding…party
were constrained in movement and tone； and from the nave of the
church came occasional coughs； emitted by those who； in spite of the
weather； had assembled to see the termination of Cytherea's
existence as a single woman。 Many poor people loved her。 They
pitied her success； why； they could not tell； except that it was
because she seemed to stand more like a statue than Cytherea Graye。
Yet she was prettily and carefully dressed； a strange contradiction
in a man's idea of thingsa saddening； perplexing contradiction。
Are there any points in which a difference of sex amounts to a
difference of nature？ Then this is surely one。 Not so much； as it
is commonly put； in regard to the amount of consideration given； but
in the conception of the thing considered。 A man emasculated by
coxcombry may spend more time upon the arrangement of his clothes
than any woman； but even then there is no fetichism in his idea of
themthey are still only a covering he uses for a time。 But here
was Cytherea； in the bottom of her heart almost indifferent to life；
yet possessing an instinct with which her heart had nothing to do；
the instinct to be particularly regardful of those sorry trifles；
her robe； her flowers； her veil； and her gloves。
The irrevocable words were soon spokenthe indelible writing soon
writtenand they came out of the vestry。 Candles had been
necessary here to enable them to sign their names； and on their
return to the church the light from the candles streamed from the
small open door； and across the chancel to a black chestnut screen
on the south side； dividing it from a small chapel or chantry；
erected for the soul's peace of some Aldclyffe of the past。 Through
the open…work of this screen could now be seen illuminated； inside
the chantry； the reclining figures of cross…legged knights； damp and
green with age； and above them a huge classic monument； also
inscribed to the Aldclyffe family； heavily sculptured in cadaverous
marble。
Leaning herealmost hanging to the monumentwas Edward Springrove；
or his spirit。
The weak daylight would never have revealed him； shaded as he was by
the screen； but the unexpected rays of candle…light in the front
showed him forth in startling relief to any and all of those whose
eyes wandered in that direction。 The sight was a sad onesad
beyond all description。 His eyes were wild； their orbits leaden。
His face was of a sickly paleness； his hair dry and disordered； his
lips parted as if he could get no breath。 His figure was spectre…
thin。 His actions seemed beyond his own control。
Manston did not see him； Cytherea did。 The healing effect upon her
heart of a year's silencea year and a half's separationwas
undone in an instant。 One of those strange revivals of passion by
mere sightcommoner in women than in men； and in oppressed women
commonest of allhad taken place in herso transcendently； that
even to herself it seemed more like a new creation than a revival。
Marrying for a homewhat a mockery it was！
It may be said that the means most potent for rekindling old love in
a maiden's heart are； to see her lover in laughter and good spirits
in her despite when the breach has been owing to a slight from
herself； when owing to a slight from him； to see him suffering for
his own fault。 If he is happy in a clear conscience； she blames
him； if he is miserable because deeply to blame； she blames herself。
The latter was Cytherea's case now。
First； an agony of face told of the suppressed misery within her；
which presently could be suppressed no longer。 When they were coming
out of the porch； there broke from her in a low plaintive scream the
words； 'He's dyingdying！ O God； save us！' She began to sink
down； and would have fallen had not Manston caught her。 The chief
bridesmaid applied her vinaigrette。
'What did she say？' inquired Manston。
Owen was the only one to whom the words were intelligible； and he
was far too deeply impressed； or rather alarmed； to reply。 She did
not faint； and soon began to recover her self…command。 Owen took
advantage of the hindrance to step back to where the apparition had
been seen。 He was enraged with Springrove for what he considered an
unwarrantable intrusion。
But Edward was not in the chantry。 As he had come； so he had gone；
nobody could tell how or whither。
4。 AFTERNOON
It might almost have been believed that a transmutation had taken
place in Cytherea's idiosyncrasy； that her moral nature had fled。
The wedding…party returned to the house。 As soon as he could find
an opportunity； Owen took his sister aside to speak privately with
her on what had happened。 The expression of her face was hard；
wild； and unrealan expression he had never seen there before； and
it disturbed him。 He spoke to her severely and sadly。
'Cytherea；' he said； 'I know the cause of this emotion of yours。
But remember this； there was no excuse for it。 You should have been
woman enough to control yourself。 Remember whose wife you are； and
don't think anything more of a mean…spirited fellow like Springrove；
he had no business to come there as he did。 You are altogether
wrong； Cytherea； and I am vexed with you more than I can sayvery
vexed。'
'Say ashamed of me at once；' she bitterly answered。
'I am ashamed of you；' he retorted angrily； 'the mood has not left
you yet； then？'
'Owen；' she said； and paused。 Her lip trembled； her eye told of
sensations too deep for tears。 'No； Owen； it has not left me； and I
will be honest。 I own now to you； without any disguise of words；
what last night I did not own to myself； because I hardly knew of
it。 I love Edward Springrove with all my strength； and heart； and
soul。 You call me a wanton for it； don't you？ I don't care； I have
gone beyond caring for anything！' She looked stonily into his face
and made the speech calmly。
'Well； poor Cytherea； don't talk like that！' he said； alarmed at her
manner。
'I thought that I did not love him at all；' she went on
hysterically。 'A year and a half had passed since we met。 I could
go by the gate of his garden without thinking of himlook at his
seat in church and not care。 But I saw him this morningdying
because he loves me soI know it is that！ Can I help loving him
too？ No； I cannot； and I will love him； and I don't care！ We have
been separated somehow by some contrivanceI know we have。 O； if I
could only die！'
He held her in his arms。 'Many a woman has gone to ruin herself；'
he said； 'and brought those who love her into disgrace； by acting
upon such impulses as possess you now。 I have a reputation to lose
as well as you。 It seems that do what I will by way of remedying
the stains which fell upon us； it is all doomed to be undone again。'
His voice grew husky as he made the reply。
The right and only effective chord had been touched。 Since she had
seen Edward； she had thought only of herself and him。 Owenher
namepositionfuturehad been as if they did not exist。
'I won't give way and become a disgrace to YOU； at any rate；' she
said。
'Besides； your duty to society； and those about you； requires that
you should live with （at any rate） all the appearance of a good
wife； and try to love your husband。'
'Yesmy duty to society；' she murmured。 'But ah； Owen； it is
difficult to adjust our outer and inner life with perfect h
