desperate remedies-第5章
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out。 One advantage had accrued to her through her mother's
possession of a fair share of personal property； and perhaps only
one。 She had been carefully educated。 Upon this consideration her
plan was based。 She was to take up her abode in her brother's
lodging at Budmouth； when she would immediately advertise for a
situation as governess； having obtained the consent of a lawyer at
Aldbrickham who was winding up her father's affairs； and who knew
the history of her position； to allow himself to be referred to in
the matter of her past life and respectability。
Early one morning they departed from their native town； leaving
behind them scarcely a trace of their footsteps。
Then the town pitied their want of wisdom in taking such a step。
'Rashness； they would have made a better income in Hocbridge； where
they are known！ There is no doubt that they would。'
But what is Wisdom really？ A steady handling of any means to bring
about any end necessary to happiness。
Yet whether one's end be the usual enda wealthy position in life
or no； the name of wisdom is seldom applied but to the means to that
usual end。
II。 THE EVENTS OF A FORTNIGHT
1。 THE NINTH OF JULY
The day of their departure was one of the most glowing that the
climax of a long series of summer heats could evolve。 The wide
expanse of landscape quivered up and down like the flame of a taper；
as they steamed along through the midst of it。 Placid flocks of
sheep reclining under trees a little way off appeared of a pale blue
colour。 Clover fields were livid with the brightness of the sun
upon their deep red flowers。 All waggons and carts were moved to
the shade by their careful owners； rain…water butts fell to pieces；
well…buckets were lowered inside the covers of the well…hole； to
preserve them from the fate of the butts； and generally； water
seemed scarcer in the country than the beer and cider of the
peasantry who toiled or idled there。
To see persons looking with children's eyes at any ordinary scenery；
is a proof that they possess the charming faculty of drawing new
sensations from an old experiencea healthy sign； rare in these
feverish daysthe mark of an imperishable brightness of nature。
Both brother and sister could do this； Cytherea more noticeably。
They watched the undulating corn…lands； monotonous to all their
companions； the stony and clayey prospect succeeding those； with its
angular and abrupt hills。 Boggy moors came next； now withered and
drythe spots upon which pools usually spread their waters showing
themselves as circles of smooth bare soil； over…run by a net…work of
innumerable little fissures。 Then arose plantations of firs；
abruptly terminating beside meadows cleanly mown； in which high…
hipped； rich…coloured cows； with backs horizontal and straight as
the ridge of a house； stood motionless or lazily fed。 Glimpses of
the sea now interested them； which became more and more frequent
till the train finally drew up beside the platform at Budmouth。
'The whole town is looking out for us；' had been Graye's impression
throughout the day。 He called upon Mr。 Gradfieldthe only man who
had been directly informed of his comingand found that Mr。
Gradfield had forgotten it。
However； arrangements were made with this gentlemana stout；
active； grey…bearded burgher of sixtyby which Owen was to commence
work in his office the following week。
The same day Cytherea drew up and sent off the advertisement
appended：
'A YOUNG LADY is desirous of meeting with an ENGAGEMENT as GOVERNESS
or COMPANION。 She is competent to teach English； French； and Music。
Satisfactory referencesAddress； C。 G。； Post…Office； Budmouth。'
It seemed a more material existence than her own that she saw thus
delineated on the paper。 'That can't be myself； how odd I look！'
she said； and smiled。
2。 JULY THE ELEVENTH
On the Monday subsequent to their arrival in Budmouth； Owen Graye
attended at Mr。 Gradfield's office to enter upon his duties； and his
sister was left in their lodgings alone for the first time。
Despite the sad occurrences of the preceding autumn； an unwonted
cheerfulness pervaded her spirit throughout the day。 Change of
sceneand that to untravelled eyesconjoined with the sensation of
freedom from supervision； revived the sparkle of a warm young nature
ready enough to take advantage of any adventitious restoratives。
Point…blank grief tends rather to seal up happiness for a time than
to produce that attrition which results from griefs of anticipation
that move onward with the days： these may be said to furrow away
the capacity for pleasure。
Her expectations from the advertisement began to be extravagant。 A
thriving family； who had always sadly needed her； was already
definitely pictured in her fancy； which； in its exuberance； led her
on to picturing its individual members； their possible
peculiarities； virtues； and vices； and obliterated for a time the
recollection that she would be separated from her brother。
Thus musing； as she waited for his return in the evening； her eyes
fell on her left hand。 The contemplation of her own left fourth
finger by symbol…loving girlhood of this age is； it seems； very
frequently； if not always； followed by a peculiar train of romantic
ideas。 Cytherea's thoughts； still playing about her future； became
directed into this romantic groove。 She leant back in her chair；
and taking hold of the fourth finger； which had attracted her
attention； she lifted it with the tips of the others； and looked at
the smooth and tapering member for a long time。
She whispered idly； 'I wonder who and what he will be？
'If he's a gentleman of fashion； he will take my finger so； just
with the tips of his own； and with some fluttering of the heart； and
the least trembling of his lip； slip the ring so lightly on that I
shall hardly know it is therelooking delightfully into my eyes all
the time。
'If he's a bold； dashing soldier； I expect he will proudly turn
round； take the ring as if it equalled her Majesty's crown in value；
and desperately set it on my finger thus。 He will fix his eyes
unflinchingly upon what he is doingjust as if he stood in battle
before the enemy （though； in reality； very fond of me； of course）；
and blush as much as I shall。
'If he's a sailor； he will take my finger and the ring in this way；
and deck it out with a housewifely touch and a tenderness of
expression about his mouth； as sailors do： kiss it； perhaps； with a
simple air； as if we were children playing an idle game； and not at
the very height of observation and envy by a great crowd saying；
〃Ah！ they are happy now！〃
'If he should be rather a poor mannoble…minded and affectionate；
but still poor'
Owen's footsteps rapidly ascending the stairs； interrupted this
fancy…free meditation。 Reproaching herself； even angry with herself
for allowing her mind to stray upon such subjects in the face of
their present desperate condition； she rose to meet him； and make
tea。
Cytherea's interest to know how her brother had been received at Mr。
Gradfield's broke forth into words at once。 Almost before they had
sat down to table； she began cross…examining him in the regular
sisterly way。
'Well； Owen； how has it been with you to…day？ What is the place
likedo you think you will like Mr Gradfield？'
'O yes。 But he has not been there to…day； I have only had the head
draughtsman with me。'
Young women have a habit； not noticeable in men； of putting on at a
moment's notice the drama of whosoever's life they choose。
Cytherea's interest was transferred from Mr。 Gradfield to his
representative。
'What sort of a man is he？'
'He seems a very nice fellow indeed； though of course I can hardly
tell to a certainty as yet。 But I think he's a very worthy fellow；
there's no nonsense in him； and though he is not a public school man
he has read widely； and has a sharp appreciation of what's good in
books and art。 In fact； his knowledge isn't nearly so exclusive as
most professional men's。'
'That's a great deal to say of an architect； for of all professional
men they are； as a rule； the most professional。'
'Yes； perhaps they are。 This man
