desperate remedies-第3章
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listener's arm； side； or neck； as the position and degree of
intimacy dictated。
When anxiously regarding one who possessed her affections。
She suddenly assumed the last…mentioned bearing in the progress of
the present entertainment。 Her glance was directed out of the
window。
Why the particulars of a young lady's presence at a very mediocre
performance were prevented from dropping into the oblivion which
their intrinsic insignificance would naturally have involvedwhy
they were remembered and individualized by herself and others
through after yearswas simply that she unknowingly stood； as it
were； upon the extreme posterior edge of a tract in her life； in
which the real meaning of Taking Thought had never been known。 It
was the last hour of experience she ever enjoyed with a mind
entirely free from a knowledge of that labyrinth into which she
stepped immediately afterwardsto continue a perplexed course along
its mazes for the greater portion of twenty…nine subsequent months。
The Town Hall； in which Cytherea sat； was a building of brown stone；
and through one of the windows could be seen from the interior of
the room the housetops and chimneys of the adjacent street； and also
the upper part of a neighbouring church spire； now in course of
completion under the superintendence of Miss Graye's father； the
architect to the work。
That the top of this spire should be visible from her position in
the room was a fact which Cytherea's idling eyes had discovered with
some interest； and she was now engaged in watching the scene that
was being enacted about its airy summit。 Round the conical
stonework rose a cage of scaffolding against the blue sky； and upon
this stood five menfour in clothes as white as the new erection
close beneath their hands； the fifth in the ordinary dark suit of a
gentleman。
The four working…men in white were three masons and a mason's
labourer。 The fifth man was the architect； Mr。 Graye。 He had been
giving directions as it seemed； and retiring as far as the narrow
footway allowed； stood perfectly still。
The picture thus presented to a spectator in the Town Hall was
curious and striking。 It was an illuminated miniature； framed in by
the dark margin of the window； the keen…edged shadiness of which
emphasized by contrast the softness of the objects enclosed。
The height of the spire was about one hundred and twenty feet； and
the five men engaged thereon seemed entirely removed from the sphere
and experiences of ordinary human beings。 They appeared little
larger than pigeons； and made their tiny movements with a soft；
spirit…like silentness。 One idea above all others was conveyed to
the mind of a person on the ground by their aspect； namely；
concentration of purpose： that they were indifferent toeven
unconscious ofthe distracted world beneath them； and all that
moved upon it。 They never looked off the scaffolding。
Then one of them turned； it was Mr。 Graye。 Again he stood
motionless； with attention to the operations of the others。 He
appeared to be lost in reflection； and had directed his face towards
a new stone they were lifting。
'Why does he stand like that？' the young lady thought at lengthup
to that moment as listless and careless as one of the ancient
Tarentines； who； on such an afternoon as this； watched from the
Theatre the entry into their Harbour of a power that overturned the
State。
She moved herself uneasily。 'I wish he would come down；' she
whispered； still gazing at the skybacked picture。 'It is so
dangerous to be absent…minded up there。'
When she had done murmuring the words her father indecisively laid
hold of one of the scaffold…poles； as if to test its strength； then
let it go and stepped back。 In stepping； his foot slipped。 An
instant of doubling forward and sideways； and he reeled off into the
air； immediately disappearing downwards。
His agonized daughter rose to her feet by a convulsive movement。
Her lips parted； and she gasped for breath。 She could utter no
sound。 One by one the people about her； unconscious of what had
happened； turned their heads； and inquiry and alarm became visible
upon their faces at the sight of the poor child。 A moment longer；
and she fell to the floor；
The next impression of which Cytherea had any consciousness was of
being carried from a strange vehicle across the pavement to the
steps of her own house by her brother and an older man。
Recollection of what had passed evolved itself an instant later； and
just as they entered the doorthrough which another and sadder
burden had been carried but a few instants beforeher eyes caught
sight of the south…western sky； and； without heeding； saw white
sunlight shining in shaft…like lines from a rift in a slaty cloud。
Emotions will attach themselves to scenes that are simultaneous
however foreign in essence these scenes may beas chemical waters
will crystallize on twigs and wires。 Even after that time any
mental agony brought less vividly to Cytherea's mind the scene from
the Town Hall windows than sunlight streaming in shaft…like lines。
4。 OCTOBER THE NINETEENTH
When death enters a house； an element of sadness and an element of
horror accompany it。 Sadness； from the death itself： horror； from
the clouds of blackness we designedly labour to introduce。
The funeral had taken place。 Depressed； yet resolved in his
demeanour； Owen Graye sat before his father's private escritoire；
engaged in turning out and unfolding a heterogeneous collection of
papersforbidding and inharmonious to the eye at all timesmost of
all to one under the influence of a great grief。 Laminae of white
paper tied with twine were indiscriminately intermixed with other
white papers bounded by black edgesthese with blue foolscap
wrapped round with crude red tape。
The bulk of these letters； bills； and other documents were submitted
to a careful examination； by which the appended particulars were
ascertained：
First； that their father's income from professional sources had
been very small； amounting to not more than half their expenditure；
and that his own and his wife's property； upon which he had relied
for the balance； had been sunk and lost in unwise loans to
unscrupulous men； who had traded upon their father's too open…
hearted trustfulness。
Second； that finding his mistake； he had endeavoured to regain
his standing by the illusory path of speculation。 The most notable
instance of this was the following。 He had been induced； when at
Plymouth in the autumn of the previous year； to venture all his
spare capital on the bottomry security of an Italian brig which had
put into the harbour in distress。 The profit was to be
considerable； so was the risk。 There turned out to be no security
whatever。 The circumstances of the case tendered it the most
unfortunate speculation that a man like himselfignorant of all
such matterscould possibly engage in。 The vessel went down； and
all Mr。 Graye's money with it。
Third； that these failures had left him burdened with debts he
knew not how to meet； so that at the time of his death even the few
pounds lying to his account at the bank were his only in name。
Fourth； that the loss of his wife two years earlier had
awakened him to a keen sense of his blindness； and of his duty by
his children。 He had then resolved to reinstate by unflagging zeal
in the pursuit of his profession； and by no speculation； at least a
portion of the little fortune he had let go。
Cytherea was frequently at her brother's elbow during these
examinations。 She often remarked sadly
'Poor papa failed to fulfil his good intention for want of time；
didn't he； Owen？ And there was an excuse for his past； though he
never would claim it。 I never forget that original disheartening
blow； and how that from it sprang all the ills of his life
everything connected with his gloom； and the lassitude in business
we used so often to see about him。'
'I remember what he said once；' returned the brother； 'when I sat up
late with him。 He said； 〃Owen； don't love too blindly： blindly you
will love if you love at all； but a little care is still possible to
a well…d
