desperate remedies-第13章
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see him sit down。 Then she glided pensively along the pavement
behind him； forgetting herself to marble like Melancholy herself as
she mused in his neighbourhood unseen。 She heard； without heeding；
the notes of pianos and singing voices from the fashionable houses
at her back； from the open windows of which the lamp…light streamed
to join that of the orange…hued full moon； newly risen over the Bay
in front。 Then Edward began to pace up and down； and Cytherea；
fearing that he would notice her； hastened homeward； flinging him a
last look as she passed out of sight。 No promise from him to write：
no request that she herself would do sonothing but an indefinite
expression of hope in the face of some fear unknown to her。 Alas；
alas！
When Owen returned he found she was not in the small sitting…room；
and creeping upstairs into her bedroom with a light； he discovered
her there lying asleep upon the coverlet of the bed； still with her
hat and jacket on。 She had flung herself down on entering； and
succumbed to the unwonted oppressiveness that ever attends full…
blown love。 The wet traces of tears were yet visible upon her long
drooping lashes。
'Love is a sowre delight； and sugred griefe；
A living death； and ever…dying life。'
'Cytherea；' he whispered； kissing her。 She awoke with a start； and
vented an exclamation before recovering her judgment。 'He's gone！'
she said。
'He has told me all；' said Graye soothingly。 'He is going off early
to…morrow morning。 'Twas a shame of him to win you away from me；
and cruel of you to keep the growth of this attachment a secret。'
'We couldn't help it；' she said； and then jumping up'Owen； has he
told you ALL？'
'All of your love from beginning to end；' he said simply。
Edward then had not told moreas he ought to have done： yet she
could not convict him。 But she would struggle against his fetters。
She tingled to the very soles of her feet at the very possibility
that he might be deluding her。
'Owen；' she continued； with dignity； 'what is he to me？ Nothing。 I
must dismiss such weakness as thisbelieve me； I will。 Something
far more pressing must drive it away。 I have been looking my
position steadily in the face； and I must get a living somehow。 I
mean to advertise once more。'
'Advertising is no use。'
'This one will be。' He looked surprised at the sanguine tone of her
answer； till she took a piece of paper from the table and showed it
him。 'See what I am going to do；' she said sadly； almost bitterly。
This was her third effort：
'LADY'S…MAID。 Inexperienced。 Age eighteen。G。； 3 Cross Street；
Budmouth。'
OwenOwen the respectablelooked blank astonishment。 He repeated
in a nameless； varying tone； the two words
'Lady's…maid！'
'Yes； lady's…maid。 'Tis an honest profession；' said Cytherea
bravely。
'But YOU； Cytherea？'
'Yes； Iwho am I？'
'You will never be a lady's…maidnever； I am quite sure。'
'I shall try to be； at any rate。'
'Such a disgrace'
'Nonsense！ I maintain that it is no disgrace！' she said； rather
warmly。 'You know very well'
'Well； since you will； you must；' he interrupted。 'Why do you put
〃inexperienced？〃'
'Because I am。'
'Never mind thatscratch out 〃inexperienced。〃 We are poor；
Cytherea； aren't we？' he murmured； after a silence； 'and it seems
that the two months will close my engagement here。'
'We can put up with being poor；' she said； 'if they only give us
work to do。 。 。 。 Yes； we desire as a blessing what was given us as
a curse； and even that is denied。 However； be cheerful； Owen； and
never mind！'
In justice to desponding men； it is as well to remember that the
brighter endurance of women at these epochsinvaluable； sweet；
angelic； as it isowes more of its origin to a narrower vision that
shuts out many of the leaden…eyed despairs in the van； than to a
hopefulness intense enough to quell them。
IV。 THE EVENTS OF ONE DAY
1。 AUGUST THE FOURTH。 TILL FOUR O'CLOCK
The early part of the next week brought an answer to Cytherea's last
note of hope in the way of advertisementnot from a distance of
hundreds of miles； London； Scotland； Ireland； the Continentas
Cytherea seemed to think it must； to be in keeping with the means
adopted for obtaining it； but from a place in the neighbourhood of
that in which she was livinga country mansion not twenty miles
off。 The reply ran thus：
KNAPWATER HOUSE；
August 3； 1864。
'Miss Aldclyffe is in want of a young person as lady's…maid。 The
duties of the place are light。 Miss Aldclyffe will be in Budmouth
on Thursday； when （should G。 still not have heard of a place） she
would like to see her at the Belvedere Hotel； Esplanade； at four
o'clock。 No answer need be returned to this note。'
A little earlier than the time named； Cytherea； clothed in a modest
bonnet； and a black silk jacket； turned down to the hotel。
Expectation； the fresh air from the water； the bright； far…extending
outlook； raised the most delicate of pink colours to her cheeks； and
restored to her tread a portion of that elasticity which her past
troubles； and thoughts of Edward； had well…nigh taken away。
She entered the vestibule； and went to the window of the bar。
'Is Miss Aldclyffe here？' she said to a nicely…dressed barmaid in
the foreground； who was talking to a landlady covered with chains；
knobs； and clamps of gold； in the background。
'No； she isn't；' said the barmaid； not very civilly。 Cytherea
looked a shade too pretty for a plain dresser。
'Miss Aldclyffe is expected here；' the landlady said to a third
person； out of sight； in the tone of one who had known for several
days the fact newly discovered from Cytherea。 'Get ready her room
be quick。' From the alacrity with which the order was given and
taken； it seemed to Cytherea that Miss Aldclyffe must be a woman of
considerable importance。
'You are to have an interview with Miss Aldclyffe here？' the
landlady inquired。
'Yes。'
'The young person had better wait；' continued the landlady。 With a
money…taker's intuition she had rightly divined that Cytherea would
bring no profit to the house。
Cytherea was shown into a nondescript chamber； on the shady side of
the building； which appeared to be either bedroom or dayroom； as
occasion necessitated； and was one of a suite at the end of the
first…floor corridor。 The prevailing colour of the walls； curtains；
carpet； and coverings of furniture； was more or less blue； to which
the cold light coming from the north easterly sky； and falling on a
wide roof of new slatesthe only object the small window commanded…
…imparted a more striking paleness。 But underneath the door；
communicating with the next room of the suite； gleamed an
infinitesimally small； yet very powerful； fraction of contrasta
very thin line of ruddy light； showing that the sun beamed strongly
into this room adjoining。 The line of radiance was the only
cheering thing visible in the place。
People give way to very infantine thoughts and actions when they
wait； the battle…field of life is temporarily fenced off by a hard
and fast linethe interview。 Cytherea fixed her eyes idly upon the
streak； and began picturing a wonderful paradise on the other side
as the source of such a beamreminding her of the well…known good
deed in a naughty world。
Whilst she watched the particles of dust floating before the
brilliant chink she heard a carriage and horses stop opposite the
front of the house。 Afterwards came the rustle of a lady's skirts
down the corridor； and into the room communicating with the one
Cytherea occupied。
The golden line vanished in parts like the phosphorescent streak
caused by the striking of a match； there was the fall of a light
footstep on the floor just behind it： then a pause。 Then the foot
tapped impatiently； and 'There's no one here！' was spoken
imperiously by a lady's tongue。
'No； madam； in the next room。 I am going to fetch her；' said the
attendant。
'That will door you needn't go in； I will call her。'
Cytherea had risen； and she advanced to the middle door with the
chink under it
