the essays of montaigne, v1-第8章
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were together; so unanimous in their feelings; and loving each other for
each other's sake。 He commended us one to the other; and proceeded thus:
〃My worldly matters being arranged; I must now think of the welfare of my
soul。 I am a Christian; I am a Catholic。 I have lived one; and I shall
die one。 Send for a priest; for I wish to conform to this last Christian
obligation。〃 He now concluded his discourse; which he had conducted with
such a firm face and with so distinct an utterance; that whereas; when I
first entered his room; he was feeble; inarticulate in his speech; his
pulse low and feverish; and his features pallid; now; by a sort of
miracle; he appeared to have rallied; and his pulse was so strong that
for the sake of comparison; I asked him to feel mine。
I felt my heart so oppressed at this moment; that I had not the power to
make him any answer; but in the course of two or three hours; solicitous
to keep up his courage; and; likewise; out of the tenderness which I had
had all my life for his honour and fame; wishing a larger number of
witnesses to his admirable fortitude; I said to him; how much I was
ashamed to think that I lacked courage to listen to what he; so great a
sufferer; had the courage to deliver; that down to the present time I had
scarcely conceived that God granted us such command over human
infirmities; and had found a difficulty in crediting the examples I had
read in histories; but that with such evidence of the thing before my
eyes; I gave praise to God that it had shown itself in one so excessively
dear to me; and who loved me so entirely; and that his example would help
me to act in a similar manner when my turn came。 Interrupting me; he
begged that it might happen so; and that the conversation which had
passed between us might not be mere words; but might be impressed deeply
on our minds; to be put in exercise at the first occasion; and that this
was the real object and aim of all philosophy。
He then took my hand; and continued: 〃Brother; friend; there are many
acts of my life; I think; which have cost me as much difficulty as this
one is likely to do; and; after all; I have been long prepared for it;
and have my lesson by heart。 Have I not lived long enough? I am just
upon thirty…three。 By the grace of God; my days so far have known
nothing but health and happiness; but in the ordinary course of our
unstable human affairs; this could not have lasted much longer; it would
have become time for me to enter on graver avocations; and I should thus
have involved myself in numberless vexations; and; among them; the
troubles of old age; from which I shall now be exempt。 Moreover; it is
probable that hitherto my life has been spent more simply; and with less
of evil; than
if God had spared me; and I had survived to feel the thirst for riches
and worldly prosperity。 I am sure; for my part; that I now go to God and
the place of the blessed。〃 He seemed to detect in my expression some
inquietude at his words; and he exclaimed; 〃What; my brother; would you
make me entertain apprehensions? Had I any; whom would it become so much
as yourself to remove them?〃
The notary; who had been summoned to draw up his will; came in the
evening; and when he had the documents prepared; I inquired of La Boetie
if he would sign them。 〃Sign them;〃 cried he; 〃I will do so with my own
hand; but I could desire more time; for I feel exceedingly timid and
weak; and in a manner exhausted。〃 But when I was going to change the
conversation; he suddenly rallied; said he had but a short time to live;
and asked if the notary wrote rapidly; for he should dictate without
making any pause。 The notary was called; and he dictated his will there
and then with such speed that the man could scarcely keep up with him;
and when he had done; he asked me to read it out; saying to me; 〃What a
good thing it is to look after what are called our riches。〃 'Sunt haec;
quoe hominibus vocantur bona'。 As soon as the will was signed; the
chamber being full; he asked me if it would hurt him to talk。 I
answered; that it would not; if he did not speak too loud。 He then
summoned Mademoiselle de Saint Quentin; his niece; to him; and addressed
her thus: 〃Dear niece; since my earliest acquaintance with thee; I have
observed the marks of; great natural goodness in thee; but the services
which thou rendered to me; with so much affectionate diligence; in my
present and last necessity; inspire me with high hopes of thee; and I am
under great obligations to thee; and give thee most affectionate thanks。
Let me relieve my conscience by counselling thee to be; in the first
place; devout; to God: for this doubtless is our first duty; failing
which all others can be of little advantage or grace; but which; duly
observed; carries with it necessarily all other virtues。 After God; thou
shouldest love thy father and motherthy mother; my sister; whom I
regard as one of the best and most intelligent of women; and by whom I
beg of thee to let thy own life be regulated。 Allow not thyself to be
led away by pleasures; shun; like the plague; the foolish familiarities
thou seest between some men and women; harmless enough at first; but
which by insidious degrees corrupt the heart; and thence lead it to
negligence; and then into the vile slough of vice。 Credit me; the
greatest safeguard to female chastity is sobriety of demeanour。 I
beseech and direct that thou often call to mind the friendship which was
betwixt us; but I do not wish thee to mourn for me too muchan
injunction which; so far as it is in my power; I lay on all my friends;
since it might seem that by doing so they felt a jealousy of that blessed
condition in which I am about to be placed by death。 I assure thee; my
dear; that if I had the option now of continuing in life or of completing
the voyage on which I have set out; I should find it very hard to choose。
Adieu; dear niece。〃
Mademoiselle d'Arsat; his stepdaughter; was next called。 He said to her:
〃Daughter; you stand in no great need of advice from me; insomuch as you
have a mother; whom I have ever found most sagacious; and entirely in
conformity with my own opinions and wishes; and whom I have never found
faulty; with such a preceptress; you cannot fail to be properly
instructed。 Do not account it singular that I; with no tie of blood to
you; am interested in you ; for; being the child of one who is so closely
allied to me; I am necessarily concerned in what concerns you; and
consequently the affairs of your brother; M。 d'Arsat; have ever been
watched by me with as much care as my own; nor perhaps will it be to your
disadvantage that you were my step…daughter。 You enjoy sufficient store
of wealth and beauty; you are a lady of good family; it only remains for
you to add to these possessions the cultivation of your mind; in which I
exhort you not to fail。 I do not think necessary to warn you against
vice; a thing so odious in women; for I would not even suppose that you
could harbour any inclination for itnay; I believe that you hold the
very name in abhorrence。 Dear daughter; farewell。〃
All in the room were weeping and lamenting; but he held without
interruption the thread of his discourse; which was pretty long。 But
when he had done; he directed us all to leave the room; except the women
attendants; whom he styled his garrison。 But first; calling to him my
brother; M。 de Beauregard; he said to him: 〃 M。 de Beauregard; you have
my best thanks for all the care you have taken of me。 I have now a thing
which I am very anxious indeed to mention to you; and with your
permission I will do so。〃 As my brother gave him encouragement to
proceed; he added: 〃I assure you that I never knew any man who engaged in
the reformation of our Church with greater sincerity; earnestness; and
single…heartedness than yourself。 I consider that you were led to it by
observing the vicious character of our prelates; which no doubt much
requires setting in order; and by imperfections which time has brought
into our Church。 It is not my desire at present discourage you from
this course; for I would have no one act in opposition to his conscience;
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